dayokanu:

Go to jail become a registered child molester, lose his job, life and 5yrs later he is acquitted by a jury that it was just a jealous wife who fabricated the story

I tire for our resident mama posters. I suppose going to jail and losing your entire life is the only way to prove that you are a real father.

Some men wont even bother to pay child support.

dayokanu:

Its their wicked mothers fault and when the kids grow older they would see that its the witch they call a mother thats at fault

Dayo lemme explain clearly to you..... even tho you're already one way traffic on this issue I will still explain.

There are endless avenues this man could reach his kids if he made any effort which is obvious he doesn't care.

Go to Burger King , chunky cheese, restaurants on weekends ..... I'm not kidding you'd see 2-3 ( paired) stone faced adults and kids running around ..... That's to show the divorce rate in North America ..... men dropping off their kids on Sundays at their mom's with their girlfriends on the passengers seat .. you know things like that.... ( I don't go around looking , I know these people so it's just an example )

Stop making excuses for a grown up adults that possibly knows how to steal oyinbo's money untraceable .... he sure knows what to do... crazy ex or not... Leave story.

jidegirl12:

Dayo lemme explain clearly to you..... even tho you're already one way traffic on this issue I will still explain.

There are endless avenues this man could reach his kids if he made any effort which is obvious he doesn't care.

Go to Burger King , chunky cheese, restaurants on weekends ..... I'm not kidding you'd see 2-3 ( paired) stone faced adults and kids running around ..... That's to show the divorce rate in North America ..... men dropping off their kids on Sundays at their mom's with their girlfriends on the passengers seat .. you know things like that.... ( I don't go around looking , I know these people so it's just an example )

Stop making excuses for a grown up adults that possibly knows how to steal oyinbo's money untraceable .... he sure knows what to do... crazy ex or not... Leave story.

If the only place a man can meet his kids is resticted to chucke cheese Mcdonalds etc why would he ever bother?

So he cant take the kids out have a discussion with them without the witch reporting that he has gone to molest them by hugging his daughters too tight

When the kids grow they would find their father and people like the OP would be around to tell the kids their dad cared but their evil mom made it bad

Kamsy10: @seedord247


Answer my question first. How many of d akata's married by nigerians are nurses? Have uwondered that its always naija men and thier nurses abi wives?

madam or Mr.... work is work so far you are matching ends meet...

So In your discombobulated mind marriage is all about money

@uju what is your problem? Do you have a reading problem or you are part of the low life nairalanders who always want to pick a fight for no reason. Even the OP who is more related to the woman is not happy with the way things are going. The man is simply wise. He has seen the hand writing on the wall. Why fight a battle and lose when you know you can avoid it. Jail is where the woman wants the man to end up in and knowing his wife, he is trying to avoid that. When you know someone is trying to bring you down, why play their own game.

the arguments get even more ridiculous. Take the kids to burger king? Yeah what a wonderful way to build a father-child bond.
If i were the dude i would simply wait till the first child is 14, at that age he/she is considered old enough to make the choice of where they want to live.

dayokanu:

If the only place a man can meet his kids is resticted to chucke cheese Mcdonalds etc why would he ever bother?

So he cant take the kids out have a discussion with them without the witch reporting that he has gone to molest them by hugging his daughters too tight

Dayo it's called baby steps.... if this way is first established with no hazzle reported by the kids( they'll be interviewed by cfs)... then they can start going home with Daddy after inspection by children services ....

you see Dayo , this is just clearly a no brainer situation, the guy just doesn't care and the lady is ready to finish him cos he stopped paying.

davidylan: the arguments get even more ridiculous. Take the kids to burger king? Yeah what a wonderful way to build a father-child bond.
If i were the dude i would simply wait till the first child is 14, at that age he/she is considered old enough to make the choice of where they want to live.

Excellent comment. I believe that is what the man is waiting for. If I am the man I will do the same. Why play into the hands of a witch. Her stupidity will be publicly known and my kids will suddenly realize how wicked their mother is.

When situation is tangled like this..... na from Burger King and co he will start from whether he likes it or not.... take it or Kuku give up.... your kids would bond with a rascal tattooed mfkg guy instead!

And call him daddy .... by the time they're 14 ( junior high) they're already dis vir gined ( possibly by step dad) and tell you to FK off!

Isn't that just EXCELLENT ?

Woged2005: But this has backfired, as her husband has refused to visit, see or even call the kids for the past 7 months. Rather he simply mails the child support.

This is the only language wicked and abusive naija women understand in the UK and US. The only mistake this man made was to have waited till he got himself in trouble with the law.

OP, don't bother yourself anymore!
From your narrations, I see the man as a very wise dude!
He has retired to the siddon look approach, which your cousin did not expect.
She had crafted to draw the dude out for a fight, to date the guy has avoided the bait.
I commend him. If I know kids well enough, your cousin will be the one searching for their DAD when those kids start yearning, singing and crying for their Dad.
I see her encircled in the frustration and dejection she expected for the guy !!!

Excellent7: OP, don't bother yourself anymore!
From your narrations, I see the man as a very wise dude!
He has retired to the siddon look approach, which your cousin did not expect.
She had crafted to draw the dude out for a fight, to date the guy has avoided the bait.
I commend him. If I know kids well enough, your cousin will be the one searching for their DAD when those kids start yearning, singing and crying for their Dad.
I see her encircled in the frustration and dejection she expected for the guy !!!

I give those kids 1 more year max and their Dad will be history ........ or you think their mom will be celibate till December? Mtcheww

Haba guys...where he picks the kids is what is being debated not where he spends time with them.

The children go to school, no? He can pick them up there after school and drop them off the next morning or wherever the visitation schedule dictates. It's not such a Herculean task as y'all are making it. Some even have a family member pick the children up...as long as the restraining order does not include the children, daddy can use whatever legal means available to him to see his children.

The way things are looking right now, it is obvious this isn't about self preservation. Dad is acting out of spite, he has lumped the kids with their mom and whatever he is feeling for her has spilled on them.....which is so so sad and getting sadder because it's starting to look like this is the default thought process/behavior for men.

How can children be blamed for something that is totally out of their control? They didn't ask to be born to a witchy mom....heck if anyone is to blame here, it is daddy for not having enough good sense to marry a woman who won't turn out to be a witchy mom (okay I'm half kidding with that....just wanted to show how silly it is to blame the kids in this situation)

The man is simply wise and could not be predicted by his wicked wife. The man has tried. He should not go to jail because he wants to see and be in the lives of his kids. That is traumatic. He loses his job and his freedom because of one stupid wicked witch. @OP what you can do is to remind the kids that their father loves them but cannot see them because of their wicked mother.

jidegirl12:

Dayo it's called baby steps.... if this way is first established with no hazzle reported by the kids( they'll be interviewed by cfs)... then they can start going home with Daddy after inspection by children services ....

you see Dayo , this is just clearly a no brainer situation, the guy just doesn't care and the lady is ready to finish him cos he stopped paying.

In America if a woman wants to finish you she already has the laws on her side so if this woman is bent on sending him to jail the man has to be extra careful

The guy cares but the wife is evil

Sisi_Kill: Haba guys...where he picks the kids is what is being debated not where he spends time with them.

The children go to school, no? He can pick them up there after school and drop them off the next morning or wherever the visitation schedule dictates. It's not such a Herculean task as y'all are making it. Some even have a family member pick the children up...as long as the restraining order does not include the children, daddy can use whatever legal means available to him to see his children.

The way things are looking right now, I must agree with those sayingdad has lumped the kids with their mom which is so so sad and even sadder because it's starting to look like this is the default thought process for men. How can children be blamed for something that is totally out of their control? They didn't ask to be born to a witchy mom....heck if anyone is to blame here, it is daddy for not having enough good sense to marry a woman who won't turn out to be a witchy mom (okay I'm half kidding with that....just wanted to show how silly it is to blame the kids in this situation)

I ask a simple question again - what should he do if the wife accuses him of sexually molesting his daughter and actually coaches her to lie about it?

Left to me this is a very wise father. He still mails in child support checks without fail, he has made extra effort to build a relationship with his kids (picking them up, buying a phone so he can reach them when he wants and vice versa)... each time he has been rebuffed and handed over to the police on false charges. When does it end? When he is finally behind bars?

This is one reason why i so much detest divorce, cant this thing be settle amicably, when we talk now all these feminist or independent women will say seperate from ur husband, all they know is divorce! divorce!!. 4rm d story, its obvious d woman is d devil & lots of our ladies are, so many r not worthy to be called wife, u can imagine she was even sleeping wit her colleage b4 d seperation, useless women.

jidegirl12:

I give those kids 1 more year max and their Dad will be history ........ or you think their mom will be celibate till December? Mtcheww

Are you saying another man will replace their dad.
Even if she remarried, those kids will always look for their father.
The man needs to be patient. Time will come when the kids will choose their father and no law will hinder.

jidegirl12:

I give those kids 1 more year max and their Dad will be history ........ or you think their mom will be celibate till December? Mtcheww

I thought this was a thread for serious discussion. my bad.

dayokanu:

In America if a woman wants to finish you she already has the laws on her side so if this woman is bent on sending him to jail the man has to be extra careful

The guy cares but the wife is evil

What laws? with your attorney on your side?

And stop scaring people with the ^^^^ the bolded assumption will ya!

The only reason he can possibly go to jail for is the unpaid accumulated child support , that alone is a criminal offence that can stop him from getting a job even in Europe, not only NA.

davidylan:

I ask a simple question again - what should he do if the wife accuses him of sexually molesting his daughter and actually coaches her to lie about it?

Left to me this is a very wise father. He still mails in child support checks without fail, he has made extra effort to build a relationship with his kids (picking them up, buying a phone so he can reach them when he wants and vice versa)... each time he has been rebuffed and handed over to the police on false charges. When does it end? When he is finally behind bars?

@david leave these women. It is so strange how they are coercing the man to do more and not talk about the wicked behavior of one of their own. No female here has actually and bluntly written anything about the wicked attitude of the wife. Rather the man should go to all extent to ensure he sees his children. Abi when he enter prison, will he see the children again. I am totally shocked at the ladies here. If the wife wants to end up with a tattoo murderfu.cker, let her do so. Abeg if the man can read this, bros no go anywhere.

Boss13:

@david leave these women. It is so strange how they are coercing the man to do more and not talk about the wicked behavior of one of their own. No female here has actually and bluntly written anything about the wicked attitude of the wife. Rather the man should go to all extent to ensure he sees his children. Abi when he enter prison, will he see the children again. I am totally shocked at the ladies here. If the wife wants to end up with a tattoo murderfu.cker, let her do so. Abel if the man can read, bros no go anywhere.

lol i stopped being shocked a long time ago. Sometimes i just read and pass by...

davidylan:

I thought this was a thread for serious discussion. my bad.

Woged2005:
Fellow Nairalanders is this man right in what he is doing just to avoid a confrontation or custody battle, or should he retain a lawyer too to fight for shared custody of the kids? The kids are in the middle. My interest? I am a God-mother to one of the girls…weeping!!

He's right. The odds are stacked against him. Let your b1tch of a cousin wallow in her deviousness.

jidegirl12:

What laws? with your attorney on your side?

And stop scaring people with the ^^^^ the bolded assumption will ya!

The only reason he can possibly go to jail for is the unpaid accumulated child support , that alone is a criminal offence that can stop him from getting a job even in Europe, not only NA.

and this attorney comes for free abi?

Why go bankrupt fighting for custody when you can save your money and wait till the kids are old enough to insist on where they want to live? Lets get real... no child forgets a father and they will go look for him when they are old enough to get away from mama's clutches. In that time he can best save the money he would have wasted fighting a futile court case for his kids college tuition.

To say the only reason he can go to jail is unpaid child support is amusing. I refuse to comment on that. Perhaps you shld spend some time reading the news once in a while to see how many fathers end up in jail on the basis of false accusation. Only 1-2 yrs ago, a man just got out of jail after 17 yrs... his "offence"? His daughter (not step oh!) accused him of killing someone when he was miles away.

Sisi_Kill: Haba guys...where he picks the kids is what is being debated not where he spends time with them.

The children go to school, no? He can pick them up there after school and drop them off the next morning or wherever the visitation schedule dictates. It's not such a Herculean task as y'all are making it. Some even have a family member pick the children up...as long as the restraining order does not include the children, daddy can use whatever legal means available to him to see his children.

The way things are looking right now, it is obvious this isn't about self preservation. Dad is acting out of spite, he has lumped the kids with their mom and whatever he is feeling for her has spilled on them.....which is so so sad and getting sadder because it's starting to look like this is the default thought process/behavior for men. )

He picks them from school and when he drops them back the wife asks did your dad hug you tight ? Did his hand brush your bum ? Did you feel any sexualll feelings

Yes to any of those mean JAIL

Boss13:

@david leave these women. It is so strange how they are coercing the man to do more and not talk about the wicked behavior of one of their own. No female here has actually and bluntly written anything about the wicked attitude of the wife. Rather the man should go to all extent to ensure he sees his children. Abi when he enter prison, will he see the children again. I am totally shocked at the ladies here. If the wife wants to end up with a tattoo murderfu.cker, let her do so. Abeg if the man can read this, bros no go anywhere.

yeah I notice that too. None of them have written anything about the witch...
@op, the guy is smart and has intelligently refuse to take the witch's bait. They can rant all they want here but the man is definitely doing the right thing.

emmatok:

Are you saying another man will replace their dad.
Even if she remarried, those kids will always look for their father.
The man needs to be patient. Time will come when the kids will choose their father and no law will hinder.

You're asking what will eventually happen...Time heals they say but not reverse-able .

Siddon there dey make your own assumption... Look for what yeye father?

Ah... me I'm not arguing he shouldn't wait till they get married sef..... Bros chairman continue waiting for your damaged, in-secured , se xually mo lested kids o!

This world is full of selfish, self centred people sha!

dayokanu:

He picks them from school and when he drops them back the wife asks did your dad hug you tight ? Did his hand brush your bum ? Did you feel any sexualll feelings

Yes to any of those mean JAIL

and not forgetting he is definitely losing his job once HR finds out regardless of whether those charges get substantiated or dropped for lack of evidence.

davidylan:

I ask a simple question again - what should he do if the wife accuses him of sexually molesting his daughter and actually coaches her to lie about it?

Left to me this is a very wise father. He still mails in child support checks without fail, he has made extra effort to build a relationship with his kids (picking them up, buying a phone so he can reach them when he wants and vice versa)... each time he has been rebuffed and handed over to the police on false charges. When does it end? When he is finally behind bars?

David everything has to be in context. A child whose parents are in the middle of a bitter divorce and custody battle suddenly saying her daddy molested her. ....puhlease! That's a red flag, flashing neon warning lights, an obvious time to take a pause moment right there. It is going to be investigated so fast....With all sorts of child psychologists and psychiatrists coming into play....and let's not forget Doctors examinations. I don't know many children who can hold up in that kinda scrutiny. If the woman is stupid enough to go that far....then deep down she must really want hubby to get the kids because she has just packaged them nicely and neatly for him.

Again, this man can be in his children's lives if he wants to. The only reason he isn't is because he think it's too much work and he is pissed at mom.

Seriously guys, don't you know it's because men are quick to throw in the towel, some women get away with this kinda behavior?

Sisi_Kill:

David everything has to be in context. A child whose parents are in the middle of a bitter divorce and custody battle suddenly saying her daddy molested her. ....puhlease! That's a red flag, flashing neon warning lights, an obvious time to take a pause moment right there. It is going to be investigated immediately....With all sorts of child psychologists and psychiatrists coming into play....and let's not forget Doctors examinations.I don't know many children who can hold up in that kinda scrutiny. If the woman is stupid enough to go that far....then deep down she must really want hubby to get the kids because she has just packaged them nicely and neatly for him.

Again, this man can be in his children's lives if he wants to. The only reason he isn't is because he think it's too much work and he is pissed at mom.

Seriously guys, don't you know it's because men are quick to throw in the towel, some women get away with this kinda behavior?

and while this "investigation" is going on, my man is in jail trying to bail himself out (if he can afford it), has his fingerprints in the police file with charges pending for God knows how long. While this "investigation" is going on, he is BANNED from coming near his kids, cannot live within a few miles of any school or daycare facility, is unable to get a job (obviously he would have been sacked from his old job), has his passport in police custody since he would be considered a flight risk...

I dont how many men would wish to be in that position. I know i wouldnt... anyone else willing to risk it can be my guest.

davidylan:

and while this "investigation" is going on, my man is in jail trying to bail himself out (if he can afford it), has his fingerprints in the police file with charges pending for God knows how long. While this "investigation" is going on, he is BANNED from coming near his kids, cannot live within a few miles of any school or daycare facility, is unable to get a job (obviously he would have been sacked from his old job), has his passport in police custody since he would be considered a flight risk...

I dont how many men would wish to be in that position. I know i wouldnt... anyone else willing to risk it can be my guest.

Put him in Jail with no proof but the word of a child. ....who is living with the woman who clearly hates him?!!!

In which country?!!