My ex boy friend who was very wicked to me,beat me,insulted me at every given instance and even threw me out Unclad at the middle of the night is getting married this saturday and everybody is congratulating him and wishing him the best.I feel so so angry right now. I dont want him back cos I called it off when it got to a point I couldn't bear it any longer.I just feel bitter that a man who was wicked to me is happy smiling(saw the engagement pics on fb)and everybody is congratulating him.I think this is the most traumatic experience of my life cos I can't sleep,have been so irritated since he personally called me to invite me for the wedding.he lives close to the house so everybody would know about the wedding very soon.and me I can't boast of a boyfriend.feeling so bad,father lord pls c me thru

Joangirl, be happy you are not the "unfortunate" girl getting married to an abuser like him. The fiancee may have experienced it all but maybe she is pretty thick skinned r have accepted her faith and sees nothing wrong in been abused. Or who knows, he may have changed his abusive ways.

You don't have a boyfriend? Relax ok. A decent deserving and responsible guy will come your way soon. Just be yourself and let nature take its course.

I don't know how old u are and if u are still in school.If u are still a student,ur studies should be ur priority now.However,i'll like u to know that he is gone and u have to settle dat in ur mind,especially because he wasn't even good for u.I'll like to talk 2 u.U can PM me.

Getting angry because someone else is happy is not healthy.
Forgiveness is not for the person who offends you it is for you. So you won't be going around with hard feelings of anger and resentment.


This is not about him, forget him, work on yourself, people are going to hurt and offend you, you can't go through life hoping that only bad things happen to people who hurt you.
Gods ways are not ours, Good things happens to both good and bad people and bad things happen to both good and bad people, Gods ways so different from ours.
Its a fact of life, work on learning to forgive and grow, He hurt you, You haad enough you had to courage to leave, move on, Grow up, Live your life, wish him well genuienly, He is your past.
He called you to invite you to hurt you, never give anyone that power.

Sorry for all You went through, You made the right decision. Live with that.

It does get easier when dear, believe me one day you will look back and thank God you took this route, This is jst the building phase, you have started a good foundation by not settling for a bad relationship just to be married.

chaircover: I know how you feel. I saw an Ex boyfriend get on with his life long before I had even gotten over the breakup. He is the one that cheated on me o! I felt so bad and was so miserable but I promise you, somehow you will get over it all and get on with your life.

Fast forward. . . . I bumped into the guy at the airport a few years ago; he was divorced, looked scruffy and was trying to hit it on again LOL. He said he wanted to sit with me . . .I told him I was traveling a different class and would meet him at Heathrow. At Heathrow my hubby and kids were waiting for me & we all ran up to each other and left the airport jisting excitedly. I didnt even look back to see if he was there or not.

Yeye man! e no go betta for am! Imagine if I had been married to that one! thats how he would have been chatting women up at airports

;Dlol.This is the kind of treatment some people deserve in their lives.Some people just don't think that there is a tomorrow.

joangirl: My ex boy friend who was very wicked to me,beat me,insulted me at every given instance and even threw me out Unclad at the middle of the night is getting married this saturday and everybody is congratulating him and wishing him the best.I feel so so angry right now. I dont want him back cos I called it off when it got to a point I couldn't bear it any longer.I just feel bitter that a man who was wicked to me is happy smiling(saw the engagement pics on fb)and everybody is congratulating him.I think this is the most traumatic experience of my life cos I can't sleep,have been so irritated since he personally called me to invite me for the wedding.he lives close to the house so everybody would know about the wedding very soon.and me I can't boast of a boyfriend.feeling so bad,father lord pls c me thru

Why do you think he's 'happy'

Just cos he's laughing in pictures doesn't mean he's happy. The fact that he remembered to call you to invite you to the wedding means he still wants to hurt you, which means he's still thinking about you, which means he would still very much want to be with you.

IMO, you won. You DUMPED him. He's marrying his rebound girl to 'show' you . . . you should feel sorry for the poor girl, not jealous!

just believe that this is just a phase in your life, personally I believe in karma. travel out of town during the wedding period to avoid all the questions and stares. with time you will meet your own man and this issue will be a thing of the past.

Thanks all I am feeling better at least somebody out there understands how I feel.@ thorpido I am not a student,I would be 31 and doing business,.would pm u so we talk.thanks

Im so happy for you that u didnt get entangled in a marriage with such a man. Cheer up, be proud of yourself and move on with your own life. Your own man who will be delighted in always making you happy will soon come your way, dont drive him away by being always sad or unhappy. Always carry yourself in such a way that each time your ex sees you, he will always regret treating you d way he did.
May God be with you, direct and guide you.
Cheers!

Be thankful u didnt marry him because he would have done worse to u. Am sure u have heard of men beating their wife to death so its good u left him.
Ur own man will definitely come

poster - I know how you feel but trust me the fact your not marrying this man is a God send.

joangirl: Thanks all I am feeling better at least somebody out there understands how I feel.@ thorpido I am not a student,I would be 31 and doing business,.would pm u so we talk.thanks

Besides, a friend of mine was in the same position as you . .
Got dumped by a man who had paid her bride price and had the traditional marriage ceremony. The man was really mean and nasty to her. Would chase her out of their home for months and have her visit only on weekends when he needs s3x and food! (I think I posted her story here)
Few months after dumping her, he had a society wedding with a girl in the same town. She felt like dying, honestly.
Today she's a proud mother of a bouncing baby boy with a husband who worships the ground she steps on.
Her ex nko, still visiting fertility clinics with his wife looking for who to blame for his impotency!
My dear, there's a reason for EVERYTHING. Just give thanks to God!

A friend had an ex like that. Actually, he tried to marry her but she kept refusing him cos she did not feel the spark. Eventually, he got married. We lost touch and then we reconnected he kept asking about her and if she was married. It always annoyed me cos i felt it was a subtle put down. After 4 years of marriage, he asked me again about my friend and i asked him if his wife had put to bed yet. I know it was mean but i was very upset with him. That was the last time he asked me about my friend again. My friend got married last year and i made sure i called him to inform him.

Btw, he is my cousin and met my friend through me.

Awwwww...

Ujujoan:

Why do you think he's 'happy'

Just cos he's laughing in pictures doesn't mean he's happy. The fact that he remembered to call you to invite you to the wedding means he still wants to hurt you, which means he's still thinking about you, which means he would still very much want to be with you.

IMO, you won. You DUMPED him. He's marrying his rebound girl to 'show' you . . . you should feel sorry for the poor girl, not jealous!

Very correct. Someone in love won't even contact his ex.
Hope you are not going to the wedding though even if you forgive him.

Some girls can take the beatings for marriage, others can not. You could not, so you walked. Why even get upset that he is getting married? Giiiirrrl i would have moved on at the first slap . He is not your husband, you sef should have been looking for happiness and found it. . You better take the day he is getting married and go have a good time. Or attend the wedding and cause commotion with your looks. Quite frankly, i would have been at home with my new boyfriend getting it on!

stillwater:

Very correct. Someone in love won't even contact his ex.
Hope you are not going to the wedding though even if you forgive him.

Says who? Keep consoling yourselves

OP....Debrief said it already... Be happy and move on with your life and stop dwelling in the past... Good luck!

^^^Contact your ex before your wedding? That is highly suspect.

stillwater: ^^^Contact your ex before your wedding? That is highly suspect.

I think its civil to tell your ex before you get married

You guys are friends and she shouldnt be knowing from an outside source

So she can knw any hopes of a comeback are finally over.

Well said debrief

Maybe OP is sad because the guy moved on before her, that the guy is happy or that she is still single while the guy is getting married

Dayo don't mind them jare...orisirisi , no wonder some people give wrong signals to kind gesture ....want you back my foot!

We have shared our lives together, thru thick and thin so it'll be out of respect to tell him I'm getting married .....

who knows what and where and kids are going I future.... friends for life...... but I don't have to make it a routine to exchange phone calls/emails/pleasantries in my marriage...

The lady is obviously still bitter but the guy already put all in the past and reached out to her ..... it takes two to tango.... There're two sides to every story.

Don't let frustration and bitterness take the best of you,just put everything behind you and enjoy ur life. I know it will be hard but u can do it,pls dnt rush into any r/ship with the next guy u see just because u want to prove a point to ur ex. There are many phases in life,so it will pass. So u put a smile on that face and I say to urself" of course I can". That is the spirit *winks*

dayokanu:

I think its civil to tell your ex before you get married
You guys are friends and she shouldnt be knowing from an outside source
So she can knw any hopes of a comeback are finally over.

Well said debrief

Maybe OP is sad because the guy moved on before her, that the guy is happy or that she is still single while the guy is getting married

Lmao!!! The circumstances they broke up is not 'friendly'. In fact this lady dumped him. The man's ego is bruised. This is not civility, this is gloating. Dayo you are a man, don't pretend not to know what this man is doing. Men do this all the time. More than likely civility flies out of the window, when emotions are involved.
I would be highly disrespected finding out my fiance contacted his ex prior to our wedding. He had months or years to sever all ties with all ex-convicts before even dating me.

stillwater:

Lmao!!! The circumstances they broke up is not 'friendly'. In fact this lady dumped him. The man's ego is bruised. This is not civility, this is gloating. Dayo you are a man, don't pretend not to know what this man is doing. Men do this all the time. More than likely civility flies out of the window, when emotions are involved.
I would be highly disrespected finding out my fiance contacted his ex prior to our wedding. He had months or years to sever all ties with all ex-convicts before even dating me.

I agree... It is obviously gloating and his last attempt at sticking a knife in her heart. He knows she was totally crazy about him to stay that long with him, enduring it all. Well, she was done a favor and should move on.

stillwater:

Lmao!!! The circumstances they broke up is not 'friendly'. In fact this lady dumped him. The man's ego is bruised. This is not civility, this is gloating. Dayo you are a man, don't pretend not to know what this man is doing. Men do this all the time. More than likely civility flies out of the window, when emotions are involved.
I would be highly disrespected finding out my fiance contacted his ex prior to our wedding. He had months or years to sever all ties with all ex-convicts before even dating me.

In every broken relationship someone would dump the other so its no big deal. Would it have been better if it was the GUY who dumped her?

You mean once a couple break up they should remain enemies for life or why would you be disappointed your fiancee contatcted his ex before your wedding?

It depends on what their contact was about. If its to fuuuck then its bad but just a "hey Nneka I am getting married by monthend" Whats wrong with the "Congrats Obinna, have a wonderful marriage"

I have exes and Theres none I'm fighting with. Those that I still have their contact we talk like 4 times a yr and we still talk about whats going on in each others life

Poster, when times get tough for me like this I do an exercise my friend taught me.
I think about where I was this time last year and I think about the challenges I was facing them, and I realise that there were a different set of challenges, yet at that time it didn't seem surmountable but I passed it and I remind my self that this will pass too and next year by this time I wouldn't be worrying about this issue.

Infact there was an ex that I helped read over her essay to apply for Pharmacy school. And whenever I am getting married I would surely let her know

dayokanu:

In every broken relationship someone would dump the other so its no big deal. Would it have been better if it was the GUY who dumped her?

You mean once a couple break up they should remain enemies for life or why would you be disappointed your fiancee contatcted his ex before your wedding?

It depends on what their contact was about. If its to fuuuck then its bad but just a "hey Nneka I am getting married by monthend" Whats wrong with the "Congrats Obinna, have a wonderful marriage"

I have exes and Theres none I'm fighting with. Those that I still have their contact we talk like 4 times a yr and we still talk about whats going on in each others life

Dayo not someone you hurt this bad. If i hurt any of my ex's i wouldnt even have the conscience to even call them and keep in touch. That shows he is still an as*shole. If you have messed up, its respectable to keep your distance and let buried things remain buried, except that ex reaches out to you. Not rubbing the fact that someone could actually endure and marry someone that despicable when she couldnt. Especially someone you know cared about you THIS much.

baby_123: Dayo not someone you hurt this bad. If i hurt any of my ex's i wouldnt even have the conscience to even call them and keep in touch. That shows he is still an as*shole. If you have messed up, its respectable to keep your distance and let buried things remain buried, except that ex reaches out to you. Not rubbing the fact that someone could actually endure and marry someone that despicable when she couldnt. Especially someone you know cared about you THIS much.

I think its childish to habour hatred over a broken relationship.

Baby I cant live with A, B and C Lets go our separate ways, Whats the fight there? And whats the point in keeping malice and wishing each other bad

So if the OP had supernatural powers she would have made the guy unable to marry, Barren, poor, lonely just because a relationship didnt work

Na wa for some women sha. You marry them wahala you dont wahala

When would it be time to make bygones bygone? "Ti a ba ja bi ka ku ko "

dayokanu:

I think its childish to habour hatred over a broken relationship.

Baby I cant live with A, B and C Lets go our separate ways, Whats the fight there? And whats the point in keeping malice and wishing each other bad

So if the OP had supernatural powers she would have made the guy unable to marry, Barren, poor, lonely just because a relationship didnt work

Na wa for some women sha. You marry them wahala you dont wahala

When would it be time to make bygones bygone? "Ti a ba ja bi ka ku ko "

Have you ever treated a woman or anyone like an animal? Wouldnt you be ashamed of yourself enough to even try to disown that the relationship ever happened. If she reached out to him for friendship then it is different. Not all relationships end on a happy note. And not all ex's remain friends.

dayokanu:

In every broken relationship someone would dump the other so its no big deal. Would it have been better if it was the GUY who dumped her?

You mean once a couple break up they should remain enemies for life or why would you be disappointed your fiancee contatcted his ex before your wedding?

It depends on what their contact was about. If its to fuuuck then its bad but just a "hey Nneka I am getting married by monthend" Whats wrong with the "Congrats Obinna, have a wonderful marriage"

I have exes and Theres none I'm fighting with. Those that I still have their contact we talk like 4 times a yr and we still talk about whats going on in each others life

Did you repetadly beat them and humiliate them by chasing them our in the middle of the house NAK3D I think not!

Obviously, poster and her ex are NOT friends. I bet him calling her to tell her about the wedding was the first time he called her since their break up.

It's obvious what his intention was!

Thinking of trying to hurt an ex with your upcoming wedding can only mean one thing . . .