Simple Home Remedies
- Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

- For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

- A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

- Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache

Unspeakable
A man walks into his doctor's office and puts a note on the table for the doctor to read. It said, "I can't talk! Help me!"

The doctor nodded sagely, and instructed the man to put his thumb on the table. The man thinks to himself that his thumb has nothing to do with his inability to talk, but he does as the doctor ordered.

The doctor quickly picked up a big book and whacks the man's thumb with it as hard as he could.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" the man yelled.

"Good, good," the doctor said. "Come back tomorrow and we'll work on the 'B'."

Wicked doctor,

so cruel

aish well done oh

lmao so hilarious, keep em rowln in

nice 1 sweetie

nice one

fanx ya'all

no be u get d coment

fanx again 4 noticing impersonation
i shall reward u greatly