I married an edo man from benin city and i notice that he does not consider my feelings in much that he does. I am based in london and i am not happy in the relationship because of this void. I believe if people keep themselves to themselves over generations and generations...what happens, you end up not building the social genes(chromosomes) that other people may possess. The other day, he moved important documents paperwork around the house and he did not tell me that he had moved the items and i was left fuming and very upset as to the whereabouts of these documents. Most people around the world would tell the person exactly where they had moved the items but my husband does not think anything wrong with what; he said he was tidying up. He did not consider that documents may be important to me and hence did not tell me where they were - in fact, he did not tell me nothing. I believe that he does not have "Considering people's feelings genes".

Not only that, he does not understand the chemistry of conversation, always overbearing the conversation( I feel suffocated having a conversation with him) and not giving space and air for me to talk and i get very frustrated at not being able to express myself. He is also a poor listener or feels intimidated listening to what you have to say. It is Listening dyslexia or what?

What went wrong on an evolutionary basis?

Edo men sucks.

Mrs..Chima:
Edo men sucks.

oh shut up!

@OP, Some people are just like this, it doesn't matter where they come from.
I shared the same room with a guy in school once, he did exactly as you said. He would move other people's things anyhow and turn it
to quarrel if you question him. He always wanted to have the last say in every discussion, turning them to arguments and aggravating to quarrel
if he's losing out.

After deliberate and intense study of the guy by different psychology students (which he didn't know that he was being studied) it was concluded that
he doesn't have respect for other people feelings and had extreme ego.

The best thing you can do for yourself in the marriage is to let him have his way everytime or...I don't know.

demmie1:

oh shut up!

Make me!

Edo Women are Gorgeous though....

Osalumese,Amiandamhen, Aigbe,Aigbogun,Alekhue, Otubor....All That.

Crazy Fat Lips

Mrs..Chima:
Edo men sucks.

Most Nigerian dudes act that way actually, from what I've observed of their relationships.

Blyss:

Most Nigerian dudes act that way actually, from what I've observed of their relationships.

I agree!!

Op,have you tried putting your feelings and displeasure in writing to him since his domineering attitude won't let you in talking?
You should try it.It might just work and if it doesn't, learn to deal and live with it.

OP,what stops you from sitting your husband down and opening up to him just like you did here?
You are so far,guilty of what you accuse your husband.He doesn't talk,you talk to strangers.
Communication lines are broken,go home woman and talk with your man.

ifyalways: OP,what stops you from sitting your husband down and opening up to him just like you did here?
You are so far,guilty of what you accuse your husband.He doesn't talk,you talk to strangers.
Communication lines are broken,go home woman and talk with your man.

She's clearly stated that she's tried talking to him, but his thickheadedness wont allow him to hear her out, and his stubbornness won't allow him to change. Marriage counselling is what they need at this point. But being that he's Nigerian/African such is out of the question, because most of them think they know it all to a fault. So her options now are to either divorce his azz, and or to live with his seemingly intolerable faults to her own demise.

Mrs..Chima:
Edo men sucks.

Mrs Chima sucks! Everything!

bokohalal:

Mrs Chima sucks! Everything!

Awwwww. My words pains you huh?

Mrs.Chima:


Awwwww. My words pains you huh?

No. Not at all. Was actually having a laugh but felt I had to reply a seeming insult as an Edoman. You generalized based on the one or two Edomen you know.
OP's husband could be any man not just Edo,Black or Yellow.

bokohalal:

No. Not at all. Was actually having a laugh but felt I had to reply a seeming insult as an Edoman. You generalized based on the one or two Edomen you know.
OP's husband could be any man not just Edo,Black or Yellow.

It's an opinion...don't take it personal.