GOVERNMENT & THE PEOPLE (Laugh
it off)
EMPLOYEE NOTICE
*********************************
Due to the current financial
situation caused by the slowdown
in the economy, the Government
has decided to implement a
scheme to put workers of 50
years of age and above on early,
mandatory retirement, thus
creating jobs and reducing
unemployment.
This scheme will be known as
RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can
apply to the Government to be
considered for the SHAFT program
(Special Help After Forced
Termination).
Persons who have been RAPED
and SHAFTED will be reviewed
under the SCREW program (System
Covering Retired-Early Workers).
A person may be RAPED once,
SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as
many times as the Government
deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED
could get AIDS (Additional Income
for Dependents & Spouse) or
HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired
Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS
or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or
SCREWED any further by the
Government.
Persons who are not RAPED and
are staying on will receive as
much SHIT (Special High Intensity
Training) as possible. The
Government has always prided
themselves on the amount of SHIT
they give our citizens.
Should you feel that you do not
receive enough SHIT, please bring
this to the attention of your MP,
who has been trained to give you
all the SHIT you can handle.
Sincerely,
The Committee for Economic
Value of Individual Lives (EVIL)
God is watching our leaders!