My Sister is married, but having issues with her husband and her husband,s family. It all started when she puts to bed, its as if the family does not want her to put to bed because they want to constantly collect money from him. i think they dont want him to have divided attention. But i dont have a problem with that, but mine problem is, the family treats mine sister like pieces of shit. My sisters husband has 4 sisters and one elder brother. The sisters comes to the house, bounce into the kitchen, tells the husband what to do. The mother would come to the house, and give mine sister order. What pains me is, is it normal for a man whom is married and yet his sisters and mother comes to the house and act as if the man does not have a wife? Are they suppose to have access to the Kitchen when there is a wife in the house? Am also referring to the mother too, is the mother suppose to just badge into the kitchen and cook without the concent of the wife? considering the fact that mine sister doesnot like outsiders having access into her kitchen.

Am married mine self and i stay with mine mother, mine wife is the same age with mine mothers last born, but i dont tolorate mine siblings been rude to mine wife. i defind everybody role in the house so there is know conflict of functions/duties. I dont even tolorate mine mum going into the kitchen to cook since there is a wife in the house.

My Sister parked out of the house because of the wahala of the husband,s family, after lots of consultation and talking with her husband,s elder brother, the husband came back for her.

But these is what is certain, there would still be problem in that house because if the husband doesnot put the family in there place, the sisters and mother would still come to the house and behave as if there is know wife in the house. I told mine sister to use Obasanjo,s style, Divide and Rule, or Our family and the husband entire family should hold a family meeting.

If we hold a family meeting i intend to threaten the family with police. i want to let them know that if anything happens to mine sister, i would jail them all, including the mother.

Mine sisters husband family are poor, they depend on him, mine sister doesnot have problem with that, but mine annoyance is, while would the family come to the house and always cause problem? i dont really know what to type here because am angry. but would be interested in hearing your views on how to attend to these issue before mine sister develops High Blood Pressure.

@op this your English is very complicated

I would suggest she talks to her husband and they both agree on some certain things which the husband is to pass to his family regarding their boundaries in his home however, if the guy cannot take a stand, she should just accept it as one of those things. I would also suggest she tries to be friends with the guys family so that they can all see themselves as a family rather than rivals because, I suspect they are acting the way they are because they feel your sister is their rival.

My is a possessive adjective used before a noun it modifies.
Eg: If anything happens to 'my' sister...
I don't even tolerate 'my' mum to go into the kitchen to cook.

Mine is a possessive pronoun used instead of a noun.
Eg: My husband is 'mine'
The book is mine.

^^^ infact ehn!! I struggled to finish reading it with all the "mine" and "while" . Its well.

Anyways, I support you holding a family meeting to put everyone in their place. Those 4 sisters shud go n marry n stop causing wahala up n down . And d mother-in-law is just a big agbaya

You Ladies are unbelievable , na who send you errand for correction?

OP call a family meeting and be careful with statements you utter, ( cos I already saw agbaya up there) it's not your fight though you have good intentions , she's an adult, I'd rather let your parents play advocate instead. Good luck .

If we hold a family meeting i intend to
threaten the family with police. i want
to let them know that if anything
happens to mine sister, i would jail them
all, including the mother.

Oga,softly soflty o..except if na you wan marry your sister if katakata burst.
This issue isn't life-threatening and its nothing you as a third-party should be so worried about.
It just seems like your sister has a husband who neither has her back nor can fight for her and i'm sure she knew all that before now.
She should learn to tolerate them for the period they are around.Its not like they live permanently there..do they?
I believe she allowed them have this much power and they have taken excessive advantage of it.She should have been firm about what she will or will not allow in her house before it got to this point.
Its her cross.let her bear it.

jydogirl12: You Ladies are unbelievable , na who send you errand for correction?

duhh..we can learn in so many ways. I am not making a mockery. It is my mb and not yours. Ose.

why the negativity.... at times people write textspeak and it has to be accepted
if we intend to correct every grammatical construct we go tire o

ish

nikkyshyne: duhh..we can learn in so many ways. I am not making a mockery. It is my mb and not yours. Ose.

And what moral has that 'teacher no teach me nonsense' post of yours taught anybody here? Is this a place of work or a conference room?

Biola you don see am?^^^ jeje lomo Ibadan mi n lo oh.... before dem say Jide don start.

^^ oohhh I am shaking

nikkyshyne: ^^ oohhh I am shaking

You better be . I'm outta here cos its always Jide's fault!

jydogirl12:

You better be . I'm outta here cos its always Jide's fault!

Isokay. Nitey

@op,I can c ur frustrations but can u cool down a bit.now,that's better. U hv a family and ur sis has a family 2.so its her issue wit her family.let me ask u,can't ur sis fight for what belongs to her? It seems u r seriously intrudin in what doen not concern u.u can only advice her.why callin family meetin.I tell u it will add petrol to d fire already burning.r u not takin it too personal.to some families,anybody can enter kitchen anytime,as long as d money for cooking is there. If u r lamentin abt d way dey spend money,that is understandabl but I will advice ur sis start up something.it will give her financial independence and she will hv d confidence to face those women.

This is an issue between Husband and wife. Also, between husband and his family only. The wife needs not have words with hubby's family and you wife's family need not call any family meeting as off now.

First and foremost, your sister needs to stop being silly and move back in the first instant he begs her too.
There are so many ways you can win a battle without even saying a word. Why pack out of your home with I am assuming a kid just because of in-laws palava.

The hubby needs to make a stand and most importantly understand the need for it. Everything else is null and void until the husband actually understands that he is now married and there are boundaries

Your sister needs to talk not shout not nag not beg but talk to her hubby. let him understand the way she feels. She needs to appeal to his " I am the man of this house" ego.

Awww . . . looking out for your kid is!

for the lady i would say -Your husband's family has no moral boundaries and this is very common with the less priviledged. Constantly fighting and packing out is the most stupid thing to do, her husband is obviously a weakling controlled by his family and the only thing she can do here is pray. Act indifferent to everything, fighting would only make the family bitter and everyone at loggerheads. There may even be a spirtual soul tie with his family members, this issue is a very serious case and should be handled as such not by fighting or packing out. She needs to pray her husband out of bondage and also be ready to send those people money to but keep them afar, they may also need to relocate.

Let me put certain things here. I believe the man is over protecting his family. Like as i said, am also married, and i love mine family too, but i defined the boundaries of mine family. Its always common for husbands family to always want to over step there boundaries, but the wife,s family dont. The fact is the husband is broke, he does not have money, even mine family tries to help his wife, he still objects. For instance, I lent mine sister 600k for 2 years. telling her, the purpose of the money is for her to complete her learning for sewing, then using the remaining to rent a shop. Could you believe the husband told her to return the money that we are trying to accumulate bills for him.


interms of intelligent, mine sister is very very intelligent and hard working. infact if mine sister where to be a man, she would have been a successful man. but these guy is just blocking her telent.

Well its not mine problem any way, but if your sisters husband has that kind of thinking mentality, then you have a picture of how he thinks. The main reason while mine sister packed out of the house was because the husband brough another woman into the house, he said the woman was his friend, and the woman was to sleep in the house till the next day..... Ladies how would you react if your husbands bring a woman into the house telling you she is his friend and she would be sleeping over? Also the husbands family said there was nothing wrong with their son bring a woman to the house whom intend to sleep till the next morning.

I know its not mine problem but to some extent, mine sister has a family and if her family does come in, the husbands family mine continue to misbehave, and the issue might escalate more than the present situation. Mine wife use to tell me something, she says IF I KNOW I CANT MAKE HER HAPPY THEN WHILE DID I MARRY HER or SHE ALSO SAYS IF I KNOW I LOVE MINE SISTERS MORE THAN HER THEN I SHOULD GO MAKE LOVE WITH THEM INSTEAD.

What am only trying to do is, its like the husband is not bold enough to define the boundaries of his family, so am trying to help him shift his reasoning to that direction. We also know that if anything happends to mine sister, definately the husbands family would encourage there son to marry another wife, then we lose.

The husband was trained in school by his elder sister. We have seen situations whereby sisters trains her brothers in school and vice versa, but that doesnot mean that when she come to the house, she would behave as if she owns the house, i dont think any lady reading these writeup would be happy with that knid of scenario.

Am looking at ideas on how i can come in without escalating the issue.

I think you should take a step back and let your sister take the decision

@op,allow ur sis to use her intelligence and run her home.if she come again to complain,tell her to go and sort out her home

Ur sister needs a wkend in her inlaws place. tel her 2 go der wif d baby & just try to av nice tym wif them. that's d odd solution.

ok.

@op u r a good and caring bro.it will be well.may God bless u.