Definitions - Jokes Etc

Definitions - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum › Entertainment › Jokes Etc › Definitions (1419 Views)

Definitions by drealnoni(op): 2:09pm On May 11, 2006

CIGARETTE: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a
fool
at the other.

MARRIAGE: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree
and a
woman gains her master

LECTURE: An art of transferring information from the notes of the
lecturer
to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of
either".

CONFERENCE: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number of people
present.

COMPROMISE: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody
believes he got the biggest piece.

TEARS: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by
feminine water-power.

DICTIONARY: A place where divorce comes before marriage.

CONFERENCE ROOM: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens &
everybody
disagrees later on.

ECSTASY: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you
have
never felt before.

CLASSIC: A book which people praise, but do not read.

SMILE: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

OFFICE: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you
actually
do.

COMMITTEE: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to
decide
that nothing can be done together.

EXPERIENCE: The name men give to their mistakes.

ATOMIC BOMB: An invention to end all inventions.

PHILOSOPHER: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of
when
dead.

DIPLOMAT: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you
actually look forward to the trip.

OPPORTUNIST: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls
into
a river.

OPTIMIST: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway
"See
I am not injured yet."

nb: pls which one do u belong to? if none, tell me what u think u r and
i
will send the indefinite definition to u.