Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink
I feel shamed. Then I look into the glass and think
about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes
and dreams If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out
of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say
to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their
dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they
wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're
going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra
WARNING:The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you aretougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
I think not."
~ Stephen Wright
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,
we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all
get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants
us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




"Without question, the greatest invention in the
history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the
wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~ Dave Howell
WARNING:The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logicallyconverse with members of the opposite s e x without spitting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin,
of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm.
Here's how it went:

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this, A herd of buffalo
can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when
the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones
at the back that are killed first This natural selection is
good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the
regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the
slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we
know,kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers!!!!"


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

sammy u don try

two thumbs up.

this is great thumbs up man

"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,
we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all
get drunk and go to heaven!"

come to think of it, the above statement is somehow correct oo

@$ammy
One bottle of shine shine bobo for u jare.

. . .at poster, here's my number 080419bottle. call me anytime, i wan drown you for beer

Several shots of PARAGA for the boy  
He's just too much  
@Nigthnurse you need take some bottles with me then u need not worry about the sin part.

Enough Shepe! for u.

@Sincity
I dnt tink nightnurse would like do anything with citysin, nt soon because she went for confession at st. holy catholic church las sat2day.

Thanks guys for all the drinks. Today is Friday, Are you thinking what im thinking

*everybody gather at the bar to take a drink*
Bottles flowing and evergie comes in to join the fun and orders a bottle of coke*
Downs it and orders one for the road * JEDI JEDI*

*after enough shayo with sammy and the rest guyz, walking home*
Saw sincty lying drunk in d gutter with a bottle of guiness malt under his armpit.

tufe:

**thunder go soon fire someone**

**Rush in an grab my thunder protector jacket, Sincity rushed to d supermarket for the jacket and met out of stock sign**
When d thunder go strike?

1 bottle of Udeme for everyone in here, i go pay!

follows night nurse behind.

@evergie,
what da devil do you think you are saying. i didnt comprehend anything from what you just said.

goes of to take

tufe:

follows night nurse behind.

@evergie,
what da devil do you think you are saying. i didnt comprehend anything from what you just said.

is devil ur other username? pls xplain

. . . .u sure is a kid

*thunder strikes and hits evergie on his stick, he was caught offguard not using his raincoat*
*evergie turns to ashes and blown away to the sea*

@nightnurse, Thanks for the drinks mate

holds comment

*re-holds comment*

lol
*thunder strikes evergie turned to ashes (disappeared) and reappeared in the other side of the sea while sincity was roasted by the strike*
*Rush to the printer to print sincity obituary posters*

Guys for real abeg na who wan buy beer this night, I go dey Yellow chillies for VI abeg. im wearing my chelsea jersey.

@ Poster

Lovely

Al of una just dey smell of alcohol. Kai!

Dont mind them gilgee,

Meanwhile,

i'm chilling in my room with my wifey, tessy, sipping some 1876 french wine endorsed by Guillaume Berthaud de' villeir. This wine is taken after u've had ur meal of Cheese, red meat and chicken cacciatoria.

$ammy:

Guys for real abeg na who wan buy beer this night, I go dey Yellow chillies for VI abeg. im wearing my chelsea jersey.

Guy u silly oh!! so u commot from your house,  pay N2500 transport (taxi) to VI, siddon for bar, dey wait for NLDers to come buy u beer?

Me i be chelsea fan but if u fit siddon wait till monday after our match, i go come give you big Ragolis water

bad mouth.

hmmm

nitty so u drinktoo?

sum ppl are drunk already wen nozzle never start.
*imagine*