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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / JOKES FOR SUNDAY 13/4/08 (1906 Views)
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JOKES FOR SUNDAY 13/4/08 by SamMilla1(m): 11:03pm On Apr 12, 2008 |
Three pastors took a day off and decided to go fishing after a busy Sunday. They agreed its so difficult preaching to people all the time and no one preaches to them. Sitting by the river with little response from the hooks one pastor thought of sharing his heart with others. He said " guys its rare to get such an opportunity to be among ourselves like this. It would be good if we look into our lives and help each other with our weaknesses". They all agreed to this. This pastor said " Gentlemen I need help! The people in my church give a lot of money every week. I started taking little by little but now I take a big chunk. I can't stop stealing from the church please pray for me. The day they will find out I will be fired"! Another pastor said "brothers your sins are better than mine! I have slept with every woman in the church including married women. As I preach my eyes hover over the congregation looking for the next prey. If this is discovered people will not fire me, they will kill me!" The last pastor's feet were shaking as they were talking. They thought he had a big story to tell. He stood up and said " My brothers my problem is gossip! I can't sit here anymore. I have to go and share this! I will be back! |
Re: JOKES FOR SUNDAY 13/4/08 by showbobo(m): 11:35pm On Apr 12, 2008 |
na to strangle am before him open their yansh |
Re: JOKES FOR SUNDAY 13/4/08 by SamMilla1(m): 11:42pm On Apr 12, 2008 |
A jewish man dies and storms the gate of heaven with anger.at the gate ,st peter spotted him from abot 500m and called the guards. Is MOSES here? he asked st peter yes and why are you holding that matchet and stone? because i want to kill MOSES said the man. Why is that? asked pete then the man answered, Because he led us for fourty years and fourty nights through the desert and left us to one place that has no oil in the middle east. |
Re: JOKES FOR SUNDAY 13/4/08 by SamMilla1(m): 11:49pm On Apr 12, 2008 |
The Nigerian Police, The The Nigerian Army, and the Secret Service are all trying to prove that they are the best at Catching criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The SSS goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The ARMY goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming. The POLICE goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten ANTELOPE. The ANTELOPE is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit! == |
Re: JOKES FOR SUNDAY 13/4/08 by SamMilla1(m): 11:52pm On Apr 12, 2008 |
Recently a PRIEST, a GARBAGE COLLECTOR, and a LAWYER wound up together at the HEAVEN Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question. He decided to ask them questions according to the gravity of their professions on earth. St. Peter addressed the priest and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about it." The preist answered quickly, "That would be the Titanic." St. Peter let him through the gate. St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring Heaven didn't REALLY need all the odors that this guy would bring with him, decided to make the question a little harder: "How many people died on the ship?" Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie, and answered, "1,228." "That's right! You may enter." St. Peter then turned to the lawyer. "Name them." |
Re: JOKES FOR SUNDAY 13/4/08 by ituen(m): 12:02am On Apr 13, 2008 |
nice one |
Re: JOKES FOR SUNDAY 13/4/08 by SamMilla1(m): 12:05am On Apr 13, 2008 |
OBASANJO,BABANGIDA AND ABACHA all died in a plane crash and went to meet their maker. The supreme GOD turned to OBJ and asked, tell me what is important about yourself. OBJ responded that he felt that the the country was in a mess,so he set up EFCC to put things back in order. God looked to OBJ and said, " I like the way you think, come and sit at my left hand". God then asked BABANGIDA what he revered most. BABA responded that he felt people and their personal choices were most important,so he promoted 419 in the country and many people where happy. God responded, " I like the way you think, come and sit at my right hand". God then turned to ABACHA, who was staring at him indignantly. God asked "What is your problem ABACHA?" ABACHA responded " I think you are sitting in my chair, iam surposed to be in the middle". |
Re: JOKES FOR SUNDAY 13/4/08 by donchichi: 12:09am On Apr 13, 2008 |
SAM MILLA: Should we all say AMEN!! here?!! |
Re: JOKES FOR SUNDAY 13/4/08 by ituen(m): 5:13am On Apr 13, 2008 |
If u say AMEN, will it change ur life in anyway? |
Re: JOKES FOR SUNDAY 13/4/08 by lightest(m): 10:38am On Apr 13, 2008 |
good and matured question? let him wait for his time |
Re: JOKES FOR SUNDAY 13/4/08 by ayusman16(m): 10:50am On Apr 13, 2008 |
Hail the moderator! |
Re: JOKES FOR SUNDAY 13/4/08 by tufe(m): 3:53pm On Apr 13, 2008 |
men, this joke is too tight |
Re: JOKES FOR SUNDAY 13/4/08 by donchichi: 2:06am On Apr 14, 2008 |
lightest: ituen: Oops!! I struck a nerve. C'mon guys, you cant take a joke again or wot? |
Re: JOKES FOR SUNDAY 13/4/08 by TheSly: 2:11am On Apr 14, 2008 |
Cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
Re: JOKES FOR SUNDAY 13/4/08 by olulu(m): 8:45am On Apr 14, 2008 |
coooooooooooooooool as tight as a tight , em , em, em u know |
Re: JOKES FOR SUNDAY 13/4/08 by gilgee(m): 12:02pm On Apr 14, 2008 |
We no know! Tell us. |
Re: JOKES FOR SUNDAY 13/4/08 by lightest(m): 10:24am On Apr 16, 2008 |
donchichi:my guy, just to make you more tight. we are one |
Re: JOKES FOR SUNDAY 13/4/08 by clemcykul(f): 11:05am On Apr 16, 2008 |
i enjoyed the first joke gat me crackn real gud sammie keep keepn me jolly |
Re: JOKES FOR SUNDAY 13/4/08 by ohilebo(m): 1:09pm On Apr 16, 2008 |
'' The POLICE goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten ANTELOPE. The ANTELOPE is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit '' na true, Nigerian Police are real Miracle workers |
Re: JOKES FOR SUNDAY 13/4/08 by tufe(m): 3:19pm On Apr 16, 2008 |
hmmmmmmmmm |
Re: JOKES FOR SUNDAY 13/4/08 by cegirl(f): 4:16pm On Apr 16, 2008 |
all the jokes are enjoying ,but the last one is very expensive ooo,me i no dey o make you no provoke baba God o |
Re: JOKES FOR SUNDAY 13/4/08 by SamMilla1(m): 4:18pm On Apr 16, 2008 |
you will dey when d time comes |
Re: JOKES FOR SUNDAY 13/4/08 by tufe(m): 4:40pm On Apr 16, 2008 |
no be lie |
Re: JOKES FOR SUNDAY 13/4/08 by clemcykul(f): 4:43pm On Apr 16, 2008 |
liesssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ohilebo giv us constructive jokes pls |
Re: JOKES FOR SUNDAY 13/4/08 by tufe(m): 4:51pm On Apr 16, 2008 |
i second that |
Re: JOKES FOR SUNDAY 13/4/08 by folly69(m): 5:25pm On Apr 16, 2008 |
great jokes sammy |
Re: JOKES FOR SUNDAY 13/4/08 by tufe(m): 5:32pm On Apr 16, 2008 |
i second that again |
Re: JOKES FOR SUNDAY 13/4/08 by clemcykul(f): 10:04am On Apr 17, 2008 |
why don't u third it mr second hand |
Re: JOKES FOR SUNDAY 13/4/08 by tufe(m): 7:51pm On Apr 17, 2008 |
ok i third it |
Re: JOKES FOR SUNDAY 13/4/08 by ohilebo(m): 7:38am On Apr 18, 2008 |
ok, somebody should fourth the motion too |
Re: JOKES FOR SUNDAY 13/4/08 by tufe(m): 3:19pm On Apr 18, 2008 |
and as usual, i 4th it. now lokking for a fifther |
Re: JOKES FOR SUNDAY 13/4/08 by SamMilla1(m): 3:23pm On Apr 18, 2008 |
i follow tufe, 4th and half |
i am back to jokes section for good. . ..credits to slimchi2k2 / Photo: See What A Lady Did With Shoprite’s Nylon Bag / Sarcastic Police Pictures Around The World
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