Interviewer: Good morning Sir.

Papa 70: Good morning my dear.

Interviewer: I have only three questions for you Sir, are you ready?

Papa 70: I'm ready. Go ahead.

Interviewer: Your application indicates that you're going to stay for three weeks in the U.S. Is that right?

Papa 70: Oh! No! That's not right. How can John be so stupid to put only three weeks in my application. Anyway, let me correct that. I'm going to stay more than that. As a matter of fact, I want to stay there for the rest of my life because I'm tired of all this nonsense going on in my country. Can you believe that seven of my friends kidnapped within the past three days.

Interviewer: Oh! I'm sorry to hear that. I can see the reason why you want to leave the country. This is my second question Sir. Where do you intend to stay when you get to the U.S.?

Papa 70: Well! My dear, that one is negotiable. I will like to live close to my people because I can't do without pounded yam and Egusi. They said that Nigerians are plenty in New York, Houston, and Chicago. So, any one of those three cities will be fine by me.

Interviewer: Which mean you've not make any arrangement for yourself! Alright, this is my third question. Are you intend to work when you get to the U.S.?

Papa 70: My dear, at age of 70, which work do you expect me to do? Let me tell you the truth. I have worked all my life. And my bone are very weak now. I heard that your government pay social security benefits to old people like me every month. So, whatever they give me, I will manage. That's why I left my 12 wives and 33 children behind. I'm tired of their "wahala."

Interviewer: Oh! I see! (gbam!) Here is your passport Sir. Please don't open it until you get home. Bye.