Feudalism: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

Pure Democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets your milk.

Representative Democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to decide who gets your milk.

Pure Communism: You have two cows. Your neighbors help take care of them, and you all share the milk.

Pure Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everybody else’s cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

Bureaucratic Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everybody else’s cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk as the regulations say you should need.

Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to care for them, and sells you the milk.

Dictatorship: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

Bureaucracy: You have two cows. At first, the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

Pure Anarchy: You have 2 cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price, or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you

Anarcho-Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

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