My dear nairaland members, pls help on this issue. I have a sister who's happily married with kids. It happened that her sister in-law (who is also married but her husband stays outside the country) came with her child to visit them, my sister did everything to please her and she pretended to b happy. She stayed for weeks and went back to her parents in d village and told them that my sister received calls from different people, her parents came and scolded my sister and cald her names and told her dat she will pack and leave, then her husband supported his parents. My sister told my own parents what happened they called her husband and advised him not to involve his parents or anybody in their family issue, though he later allowed my sister to stay. But now my sister is still in her husband's house, but he doesn't talk to her or allow her cook for him. Pls what do you think she should do. Pls advise wisely not a joke section pls. Thanks for ur advise.

So sorry your sister has to go through this. Trust me, i understand what it feels like to be accused wrongly. And her husband didn't do well at all, that shows how gullible some men can be.
Well, i'll just advice that she keep being herself, love him as she always and above all, pray to God about it and am sure He'll answer. She should also try discussing with him.
Na only God go save us from all dis aguragura in-laws sha.
#bends head to pray# God, help me not to be a bad in-law myself. Amen.

.

ekytessy: My dear nairaland members, pls help on this issue. I have a sister who's happily married with kids. It happened that her sister in-law (who is also married but her husband stays outside the country) came with her child to visit them, my sister did everything to please her and she pretended to b happy. She stayed for weeks and went back to her parents in d village and told them that my sister received calls from different people, her parents came and scolded my sister and cald her names and told her dat she will pack and leave, then her husband supported his parents. My sister told my own parents what happened they called her husband and advised him not to involve his parents or anybody in their family issue, though he later allowed my sister to stay. But now my sister is still in her husband's house, but he doesn't talk to her or allow her cook for him. Pls what do you think she should do. Pls advise wisely not a joke section pls. Thanks for ur advise.

what you just narrated is the immediate cause of the problem. There is a remote cause. Take us down that lane.
It makes no sense that a husband sides his family against his wife because of hearsay of his wife's many calls. Not that she leaves the house oddly, visiting random people. There must be a foundation this many call narration is laid

Gboliwe:
what you just narrated is the immediate cause of the problem. There is a remote cause. Take us down that lane.
It makes no sense that a husband sides his family against his wife because of hearsay of his wife's many calls. Not that she leaves the house oddly, visiting random people. There must be a foundation this many call narration is laid

exactly.. not enuff info

Gboliwe:
what you just narrated is the immediate cause of the problem. There is a remote cause. Take us down that lane.
It makes no sense that a husband sides his family against his wife because of hearsay of his wife's many calls. Not that she leaves the house oddly, visiting random people. There must be a foundation this many call narration is laid

my dear dat was all because according to her mother inlaw in particular she said dat her daughter told her dat I always receive calls from different people, she's a full house wife so she doesn't go out. Though her sister inlaw is far older than her so she was not happy wen my sis was getting married to her elder brother because she just got married, so she's not always happy. She said my sister's numerous calls pisses her up, she just want to know who calls my sister and their discussion which my sister never gave room for. My dear notin else.

So sad that this is happening in a marriage that the husband is supposed to trust and defend the wife. Well, as it is, there is no trust again. She got married to a boy that calls himself a man and looks like a man and now it's too late. So if she really wants to stay, then she should pray hard. The devil is trying to tear her family apart. Again, tell her to do those [little] things that that [little] boy used to like when they were still strong in love. And be happy with him no matter how he may try to misbehave. She should just take things normal and try not to let the kids knows what's going on.

ekytessy: my dear dat was all because according to her mother inlaw in particular she said dat her daughter told her dat I always receive calls from different people, she's a full house wife so she doesn't go out. Though her sister inlaw is far older than her so she was not happy wen my sis was getting married to her elder brother because she just got married, so she's not always happy. She said my sister's numerous calls pisses her up, she just want to know who calls my sister and their discussion which my sister never gave room for. My dear notin else.

so who called your sister

Ha!!Biola!!!!!!are you sure you want to know that?

ekytessy: My dear nairaland members, pls help on this issue. I have a sister who's happily married with kids. It happened that her sister in-law (who is also married but her husband stays outside the country) came with her child to visit them, my sister did everything to please her and she pretended to b happy. She stayed for weeks and went back to her parents in d village and told them that my sister received calls from different people, her parents came and scolded my sister and cald her names and told her dat she will pack and leave, then her husband supported his parents. My sister told my own parents what happened they called her husband and advised him not to involve his parents or anybody in their family issue, though he later allowed my sister to stay. But now my sister is still in her husband's house, but he doesn't talk to her or allow her cook for him. Pls what do you think she should do. Pls advise wisely not a joke section pls. Thanks for ur advise.

Please be wise and be the best wife you can be to your husband during this trying period. Also note that best wife is not equal to foot mat.Refuse to keep malice with him even if he ignores you someone has to be the bigger and wiser party. If you can put aside what happened do not hold onto it (although very painful) act like it never happened. Make peace with yourself and choose to be happy. Above all take it to God and leave it there.

ekytessy: My dear nairaland members, pls help on this issue. I have a sister who's happily married with kids. It happened that her sister in-law (who is also married but her husband stays outside the country) came with her child to visit them, my sister did everything to please her and she pretended to b happy. She stayed for weeks and went back to her parents in d village and told them that my sister received calls from different people, her parents came and scolded my sister and cald her names and told her dat she will pack and leave, then her husband supported his parents. My sister told my own parents what happened they called her husband and advised him not to involve his parents or anybody in their family issue, though he later allowed my sister to stay. But now my sister is still in her husband's house, but he doesn't talk to her or allow her cook for him. Pls what do you think she should do. Pls advise wisely not a joke section pls. Thanks for ur advise.

So because his sister told him his wife was making calls, he's threatening to send her out of the house

What is he . . 12?

Ujujoan:

So because his sister told him his wife was making calls, he's threatening to send her out of the house

What is he . . 12?

Apparently

byvan: Ha!!Biola!!!!!!are you sure you want to know that?

I think its good info.. the lady may just be mischievous or she may really be onto something

biolabee:

so who called your sister

so a woman does not have right to privacy again because she is a married woman,people cannot call her again,ehen biola no dey fall my hand o.if it was in the middle of the night like 1am,2am ehen,i can say something is actually wrong,but it is not so

meanwhile @ op i think you need to talk to your sister to call a family meeting where both parents will be there.i mean the parents of the man by look (boy by character) and the parents of the woman,the olofofo sister inlaw too should be there and other parties INVOLVED IN THE MATTER OR CONTRIBUTED DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY TO THE BREAKDOWN OF A MARRIAGE.let them all state what they have against the woman, including why her calls are annoying them and what the baby husband has against the wife etc because i see many children in mens cloths pretending to be men whereas their character is not different from a 13 year old child.let the elders come chuk mouth into the matter,whoever needs to apologize should do.the meeting is meant for putting everybody in their place and for everybody to know their boundaries.because a woman is married to your brother should not make you unnecessarily quarelsome.it's really very annoying. However the problem i have with your sister is that,the wife in question sef should get busy,she should get a job so that she will not be seeing/experiencing nonsense.if any sister inlaw comes to the house and sees that husband has gone to work,wife too has gone to work there is no one at home or the gate is locked,she will carry her wahala/attention elsewhere,but if you are in the house,24 hours,they will turn you to 'igba ikole' both the people that should talk to you anyhow and the people that should not even intrude into your family affairs will do so because you've given them an avenue

biolabee:

I think its good info.. the lady may just be mischievous or she may really be onto something

*in jenifa's voice* biola! Biola!! Biola!!! How many times did i call you,no just vex me o,no let me transfer agireson on you o.han han

kulyie: so a woman does not have right to privacy again because she is a married woman,people cannot call her again,ehen biola no dey fall my hand o.if it was in the middle of the night like 1am,2am ehen,i can say something is actually wrong,but it is not so

A woman is entitled to privacy in her marital home
The q is why will these series of calls cause so much wahala that the hubby is not even supporting his wife

@op, firstof all, the husband is either a boy, and not a man or has been remote-controlled by his folks(i hate to say this, but how can a man threaten divorce just because of hearsays), so, in either of the case, prayer and patience are what the wife needs.

Secondly, advise the wife to start doing something that will make her financially less-dependent on the woman, it helps to increase and improve one's self-esteem. If the wife is independent, she will attract respect from both the hubby and the in-laws.

Thirdly, the wife should learn to deal more wisely with her in-laws, especially when they are around, now that she already know that they dont really like her in that family, when they are around, she needs to reduce the number of calls she make/receive when they are around, (if that is what is giving them headaches), this is just in order to give peace a place.
May God help them and all of us.

Interesting to know married people are now allowed to have privacy on who they talk to on phone.

Reading some threads last week, I thought chatting with anyone not your spouse is cheating whether na man or woman

kulyie: *in jenifa's voice* biola! Biola!! Biola!!! How many times did i call you,no just vex me o,no let me transfer agireson on you o.han han

we dont know much... maybe they know more on this issue... im not interested in who is calling whom
But why shd a call cause so much problem'

biolabee:

A woman is entitled to privacy in her marital home
The q is why will these series of calls cause so much wahala that the hubby is not even supporting his wife

thats why i referred to the man as a child and proffered solutions

biolabee:

we dont know much... maybe they know more on this issue... im not interested in who is calling whom
But why shd a call cause so much problem'

the wife,because if she is busy and gone to work,all this would not have cropped up.meanwhile overfamiliarity too is another factor

greatgod2012: @op, firstof all, the husband is either a boy, and not a man or has been remote-controlled by his folks(i hate to say this, but how can a man threaten divorce just because of hearsays), so, in either of the case, prayer and patience are what the wife needs.

Secondly, advise the wife to start doing something that will make her financially less-dependent on the woman, it helps to increase and improve one's self-esteem. If the wife is independent, she will attract respect from both the hubby and the in-laws.

Thirdly, the wife should learn to deal more wisely with her in-laws, especially when they are around, now that she already know that they dont really like her in that family, when they are around, (she needs to reduce the number of calls she make/receive when they are around, (if that is what is giving them headaches), this is just in order to give peace a place).
May God help them and all of us.

you were on point.but the place i bracketed was were you fvcked up.so a woman cannot be comfortable or feel free in her matrimonial home again nawa o...issshhhh.

Marriage doesnt even look too good this days with all the provocative threads i have been reading lately.smh,mshewww

True

kulyie: the wife,because if she is busy and gone to work,all this would not have cropped up.meanwhile overfamiliarity too is another factor

Hubby doesn't have a mind of his own, an objective mind, trust his wife or knows what she can do. It can be that he knows his sister better and trusts her. But what he doesn't realise is sometimes, some people have their own agenda. He should have kept quiet and investigated the matter. If you are the woman concerned and you are truly receiving funny calls when your husband is away, desist from such behavior. The sister has every right to be loyal to her brother and look out for his interest. If you are guilty as charged, stop the act before your hand gets caught in the pot. That time, overtake go overtake overtake o.

baby_123: Hubby doesn't have a mind of his own, an objective mind, trust his wife or knows what she can do. It can be that he knows his sister better and trusts her. But what he doesn't realise is sometimes, some people have their own agenda. He should have kept quiet and investigated the matter. If you are the woman concerned and you are truly receiving funny calls when your husband is away, desist from such behavior. The sister has every right to be loyal to her brother and look out for his interest. If you are guilty as charged, stop the act before your hand gets caught in the pot. That time, overtake go overtake overtake o.

so receiving numerous long calls is now an abomination.smh

Hmmmmnnn In this one I trust my husband. No one can try to talk nonsense about his wife to him, he will just throw the bagger out of his house. See tell ur sister to do my mother in laws style. She told me that when her own sister in law came to house to try rubbish she BEAT the bejesus out of her, stripped her NAKED and kicked her out of her house. No body from that family tried her again. Why will you bring your unhappiness and negativity into my home. God punish her. That your sisters husband is a stupid fool. How can you gang up against ur wife? He prolly has a gf or someone else he wants to bring in as a new wife

Your mum was fortunate and that does not mean that is the prescribed route

Someone else may try it and lose the marriage

Daresh: Hmmmmnnn In this one I trust my husband. No one can try to talk nonsense about his wife to him, he will just throw the bagger out of his house. See tell ur sister to do my mother in laws style. She told me that when her own sister in law came to house to try rubbish she BEAT the bejesus out of her, stripped her NAKED and kicked her out of her house. No body from that family tried her again. Why will you bring your unhappiness and negativity into my home. God punish her. That your sisters husband is a stupid fool. How can you gang up against ur wife? He prolly has a gf or someone else he wants to bring in as a new wife

biolabee: Your mum was fortunate and that does not mean that is the prescribed route

Someone else may try it and lose the marriage

exactly.in whatever situation,i dont subscribe to violence

biolabee: Your mum was fortunate and that does not mean that is the prescribed route

Someone else may try it and lose the marriage

I did not say my mum, I said my mother in law. My husbands mother. She does not take nonsense and who born you to kick her out of her own house? I give that woman hand cos she doesn't take nonsense from any fool trying to mess her or her family up. I can't do what she does, but I'm sure she will do the beating up of any fool for me.

Sorry my bad on the exact personality but its always good to have such a defender but .....
@kuly how we for do....

kulyie: exactly.in whatever situation,i dont subscribe to violence

Daresh:

I did not say my mum, I said my mother in law. My husbands mother. She does not take nonsense and who born you to kick her out of her own house? I give that woman hand cos she doesn't take nonsense from any fool trying to mess her or her family up. I can't do what she does, but I'm sure she will do the beating up of any fool for me.

kulyie: exactly.in whatever situation,i dont subscribe to violence

biolabee: Sorry my bad on the exact personality but its always good to have such a defender but .....
@kuly how we for do....

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