"No God -- No Peace. Know God -- Know Peace."

"Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!"

"Try our Sundays. They are better than Mr Biggs."

"Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!"

When the restaurant next to the Catholic Church put out a big sign with red letters that said, "Open Sundays," the church reciprocated with its own message: "We are open on Sundays, too."

"Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons -- come hear one!"

A singing group called "The Resurrection" was scheduled to sing at a church. When a big snowstorm postponed the performance, the pastor fixed the outside sign to read, "The Resurrection is postponed."

"People are like tea bags -- you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are."

"God so loved the world that He did not send a committee."

"Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush!"

"Fight truth decay -- study the Bible daily."

"How will you spend eternity -- Smoking or Non-smoking?"

"Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives":

"Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world."

"It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin."

"Do not wait for the hearse to take you
to church."

"If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns."

"If you don't like the way you were born try being born again."

"Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon."

"Forbidden fruit creates many traffic jams."

"In the dark? Follow the Son."

"Running low on faith? Stop in for a fill-up."