₦airaland Forum

class Nig_Court
{
    long _stolen_cash;
    boolean bought_judgement;
    public Nig_Court(long stolen_cash)
    {
        bought_judgement = false;
        _stolen_cash = stolen_cash;
    }
    
    public final void buy_judgement(long bribe)
    {
        //if bribe is > N200,000 and its also greater than 4% of stolen_cash
        if((bribe > 200000) && (bribe > (_stolen_cash * 4 / 100)))
        {
            bought_judgement = true;
        }
    }
    
    public final String get_Verdict()
    {
        if(bought_judgement)
        {
            return "Case dismised for lack of evidence";
        }
        // < N10... doesnt deserve to live
        else if(_stolen_cash < 10)
        {
            return "Jailed for life";
        }
        //N10 to N5,000 : 
        else if(_stolen_cash >= 10 && _stolen_cash < 5000)
        {
            return "Jailed for 70 years with hard labor";
        }
        //N5,000 to N100,000 : 
        else if(_stolen_cash >= 5000 && _stolen_cash < 100000)
        {
            return "Jailed for 15 years with mild labor";
        }
        //N100,000 to N1m :
        else if(_stolen_cash >= 100000 && _stolen_cash < 1000000)
        {
            return "Jailed for 6 years without labor";
        }
        //N1m to N30m : Sizeable thief
        else if(_stolen_cash >= 1000000 && _stolen_cash < 30000000)
        {
            return "Jailed for 2 months with option of 10% fine: "
                    + Long.toString(_stolen_cash * 10 / 100);
        }
        //N30m to N500m : big thief
        else if(_stolen_cash >= 30000000 && _stolen_cash <= 500000000)
        {
            return "Rest for 3 weeks Sir/Ma with option of 6% fine: "
                    + Long.toString(_stolen_cash * 6 / 100);
        }
        
        //#Oga @ The Top: ahhh, somebody with goodwill for the nation
        //_stolen_cash > N500m ...
        else
        {
            return "Discharged and Acquitted!... Sorry for wasting your ample time"
                    + "we thank you for your Patience with us Sir/Ma";
        }
    }
}

//A love code program in c#
using heart;
namespace MissYou
{
	class Love
	{
		static void Main()
		{
			Console.WriteLine("MissYou";
	
			Console.writeLine("NeverLetyouGo";
			Console.ReadKey();
		}
	}
}

//Pseudo-code for Microsoft Windows 95
//---idea---TiM

//boot the system
init __boot;

//load stuff for keyboards, file system drivers, and Display
init __load_basic_drivers;

//prepare BoSD
init __prepare__ BLUE_SCREEN_OF_DEATH;

//enter event loop
while(!crashed)
{
    sleep(1300); //milisecs

    load_kernel_sevices();

    if(system_still_running)
    {
	try
	{
	    kernel_load( all(system_programs) );

	    kernel_unload( most_useful(system_programs) );

	    if(!unloaded(last_kernel_instruction)) throw Exception;
	}
	catch(Errors)
	{ fire(BLUE_SCREEN_OF_DEATH); }
    }

    kernel_load( Graphics );
    kernel_load( Windows_Explorer );

    kernel_init( set( cpu_execution_speed( random % 100 ) ) )

    bool legal = verify(Microsoft.Paid.isTrue());

    if(legal)
    {
	call( persuading_daemon(ask_for_more_money) )
    }
    else
    {
	kernel_unload(kernel, silently=true, gradually=yes);
    }

    if(system_is_ok)
    {
	attempt(crash);
    }

    if(system_survived_last_crash_attempt)
    {
	kernel_load( all(backdoors_and_memory_exploits) );

	init __set(BLUE_SCREEN_OF_DEATH, fire(in(2000, seconds)));
    }

    if(system.isIdle())
    {
	kernel_init( all( sleep(hardware) && sleep(software) ) );
	kernel_interrupt( DISABLE_ALL );

	set( kernel.neverWakeUp = true );
    }

    while(still_not_crashed)
    {
	do (NOTHING for random.minutes)
	wait_for_user_events();

	attempt(crash) && break;
    }

    if(is lucky)
    {
	kernel_programs_manager.set( FAIL );
	load( all(programs), haphazardly );
    }

    if(execution_reached_this_point)
    {
	kernel_init( kill_All_useful_programs );

	fire(BLUE_SCREEN_OF_DEATH);

	kernel_unload( kernel );
    }

    assert(system_is_DEAD);
}

     class Express
   {
 public static Exception displeasure()
     {
 throw new Exception();
     }
  }

 class Complain
           {
       public Exception about(final String theGripe)
             {
        throw new Exception(theGripe);
            }
          }

           public class Client
               {
             public Client(final Object argument)throws Exception
                 {
                 if(valid(argument))
                           // do nothing
                    else Express.displeasure();
                 }

                 public boolean valid(final Object o){}
              }

    
           interface ListWalker
           {
       public boolean  futureBright()
       public boolean pastBeckons()
       public void moveForward();
       public void backtrack();
           }

       class List implements ListWalker{}

      Class Client
             {
         List<Object> list = new List<Object>();
          Iterator johnny = list.getWalker();
         //.....

         while(johnny.futureBright())
             {
             johnny.moveForward();
          else
              johnny.backtrack();
             }  

            }

 

package Hot.thoughts;

/**
 *
 * @author HP USER
 */
public class PrettyGirl {

    private String jewelry;
    private String boyfriend;
    private double account;
    private double cost;
    /* Thi rarely happens, but it is true that some 
     * pretty girls actually go withut a boyfriend
     * and are content that way. Quite rare I must
     * admit though. So as tribute to "that Kind" of
     * pretty girl I initialise this cos=nstructor
     * without a boyfriend parameter
     */

    public PrettyGirl() {
    }
    /* But of course the pretty girls, I mean the real
     * ones have something in common. No offense meant.
     * So here we go.
     */

    public PrettyGirl(String jewelry, String boyfriend) {

        this.boyfriend = boyfriend;
        this.jewelry = jewelry;

    } // end two argument constructor

    /* Well, as we all mightn have known, either
     * learning it the hard way or through others
     * (the wise, or should I say, the fortunate
     * ones), Beign a boyfriend to a pretty girl
     * requires that certain parameters be in place.
     * Here is my little simulation of those parameters
     */
    public void setAccount(double accountStatement) {

        /* certain account figures are vompletely acceptable,
         * others raise concerns whereas others are completely 
         * unacceptable. Read this:
         */
        boolean validAccount = isValidAccount(accountStatement);
        if (validAccount == true) {
            this.account = accountStatement;
        }
    }

    public double getAccount() {
        return account;
    }

    public void setBoyfriend(String boyfriend) {
        this.boyfriend = boyfriend;
    }

    public String getBoyfriend() {
        return boyfriend;
    }

    /*A little prying is done, either directly, for the rude
     * ones, or indirectlly for the sensible ones, before
     * final consent and acceptance is granted. here is to 
     * validate that your bank statement agrees.
     */
    public boolean isValidAccount(double accountStatement) {
        boolean isValid = false;
        if (accountStatement != 0.00 && accountStatement >= 500000.00) {
            isValid = true;
        }
        return isValid;
    }

    /* after boyfreind has been gotten, the following activities ensue
     * thee benefits of which range from total bankruptcy, if you are not carefull
     * to a collapse of the relationship for the real "bad guy"
     * 
     * 
     * I put the return type void because, surely you get nothing from this
     */
    public void setJewelry(double cost, String jewelry) {
        this.cost = (cost >= 10000.00) ? cost : 0.00;
        this.jewelry = jewelry;

        /* setting cost to 0.00 in this case means that the
         * jewelry cannot be bought. "Too cheap, not good"
         */
    }

    public String getJewelry() {

        return jewelry;
    }
    /* time to do a little shopping. And trust me,
     * this is the real annoying part where if you
     * are not the patient tyoe, you just give
     * up and blow the relationship into the winds
     */

    public String goShopping(double minimumCash) {
        String reaction = null;
        if (minimumCash >= 50000.00) {

            reaction = "Ok. Manageable, I will just manage it";
        } else {
            reaction = "What do you take me for. Do you want me to go "
                    + "buy some peanuts? Take your filthy money";
            // throws money at you.
        }
        return String.format("%s", reaction);
    }
    /* There are an endless litany of woes to discuss. I therefore make this 
     * piece "Open Source". You guys can help me make it complete.
     * 
     * And to the ladies, No offence meant. ***Winks***
     */
}

danvery2k6:

package Hot.thoughts;

/**
 *
 * @author HP USER
 */
public class PrettyGirl {

    private String jewelry;
    private String boyfriend;
    private double account;
    private double cost;
    /* Thi rarely happens, but it is true that some 
     * pretty girls actually go withut a boyfriend
     * and are content that way. Quite rare I must
     * admit though. So as tribute to "that Kind" of
     * pretty girl I initialise this cos=nstructor
     * without a boyfriend parameter
     */

    public PrettyGirl() {
    }
    /* But of course the pretty girls, I mean the real
     * ones have something in common. No offense meant.
     * So here we go.
     */

    public PrettyGirl(String jewelry, String boyfriend) {

        this.boyfriend = boyfriend;
        this.jewelry = jewelry;

    } // end two argument constructor

    /* Well, as we all mightn have known, either
     * learning it the hard way or through others
     * (the wise, or should I say, the fortunate
     * ones), Beign a boyfriend to a pretty girl
     * requires that certain parameters be in place.
     * Here is my little simulation of those parameters
     */
    public void setAccount(double accountStatement) {

        /* certain account figures are vompletely acceptable,
         * others raise concerns whereas others are completely 
         * unacceptable. Read this:
         */
        boolean validAccount = isValidAccount(accountStatement);
        if (validAccount == true) {
            this.account = accountStatement;
        }
    }

    public double getAccount() {
        return account;
    }

    public void setBoyfriend(String boyfriend) {
        this.boyfriend = boyfriend;
    }

    public String getBoyfriend() {
        return boyfriend;
    }

    /*A little prying is done, either directly, for the rude
     * ones, or indirectlly for the sensible ones, before
     * final consent and acceptance is granted. here is to 
     * validate that your bank statement agrees.
     */
    public boolean isValidAccount(double accountStatement) {
        boolean isValid = false;
        if (accountStatement != 0.00 && accountStatement >= 500000.00) {
            isValid = true;
        }
        return isValid;
    }

    /* after boyfreind has been gotten, the following activities ensue
     * thee benefits of which range from total bankruptcy, if you are not carefull
     * to a collapse of the relationship for the real "bad guy"
     * 
     * 
     * I put the return type void because, surely you get nothing from this
     */
    public void setJewelry(double cost, String jewelry) {
        this.cost = (cost >= 10000.00) ? cost : 0.00;
        this.jewelry = jewelry;

        /* setting cost to 0.00 in this case means that the
         * jewelry cannot be bought. "Too cheap, not good"
         */
    }

    public String getJewelry() {

        return jewelry;
    }
    /* time to do a little shopping. And trust me,
     * this is the real annoying part where if you
     * are not the patient tyoe, you just give
     * up and blow the relationship into the winds
     */

    public String goShopping(double minimumCash) {
        String reaction = null;
        if (minimumCash >= 50000.00) {

            reaction = "Ok. Manageable, I will just manage it";
        } else {
            reaction = "What do you take me for. Do you want me to go "
                    + "buy some peanuts? Take your filthy money";
            // throws money at you.
        }
        return String.format("%s", reaction);
    }
    /* There are an endless litany of woes to discuss. I therefore make this 
     * piece "Open Source". You guys can help me make it complete.
     * 
     * And to the ladies, No offence meant. ***Winks***
     */
}