© astronautog
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All rights reserved. No part of this Story may
be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system;
or transmitted in any form or by any means,
electronic, mechanical, photocopying,
recording, or otherwise, without the prior
permission of the Author.
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Note:-
The story is simply a true life story and any
resemblance whatsoever to persons or events
living or dead are surely coincidental.
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You can reach the writer at astronautog@
gmail.com for any inquiries.
© astro
A true life story

My heart raced as i learnt that i have been posted to gombe state!!!
I consoled myself when tunde opened his transfer letter and behold"borno state"was his fate.
Borno state is boko haram's strong hold.
A notorious militant group feared round nigeria.
It was our job as soldiers to protect and defend our father's land.
I sat down and recalled when i started this life as a proffessional killer.
I had applied for nda(nigeria defence academy) twice but failed to gain the admission.
I finally entered the military as a recruit.
Mum cried her eyes out,begging me not to go."i no de go die,mama i go come back soon"i pleaded with her.
Dad approved even before i told him.
At least he could brag that his first son is in the army,in the beer parlour.
Dad is an alcoholic all he does is drink and drink.
Here i was five years later,already a second lieutenant.
I have served in kano,abuja,even the niger delta and now the latest is gombe.
"gombe"sounds more like "gobe".

"this place even de map self?"i asked tunde.
"omo the thing tire me o"tunde replied.
I had hoped i would be posted some where closer to home.
I was born in the ancient city of benin,edo state.

Months later......

"shoot him in the chest"my oga at the top ordered.
"thou shall not kill"was that not one of the commandment?
I didnt even give it a second thought.
I aimed for the man's chest,'paaa'i pulled the triger,sending him straight to hell.
Over here in gombe it was kill or be killed.
The man i just shot was one of the 5 bokoharam members we caught in a raid earlier in the day.
Our orders was clear"kill".
We had no mercy just as they in turn had no mercy when they attacked and killed,five of our men.
I looked at my watch,it was 3 pm.time for me to go on duty[stop and search].
I reached for a cigarrette.
Na wa o,where my lighter?i asked my self.
"o boy give me lighter"i said to aliyu.
Aliyu had become my best friend,he could speak hausa which was what was spoken here.
"take am for light..."aliyu said but was cut short by sound of gun shots.
Paaa,paaa,boom!!
"take cover"some one screamed.
We where under attack!!
The motto here was "be prepared".
I had earned the name"astro the killer" when i was in kano
i immediately reached for my gun.
Then i looked up from where i was hiding to calculate the number and position of the enemies.
Behold they where about 30 in number.30 against 8
wow fair enough!
"our,father who at in heaven..."i could hear aliyu pray.
Mumu,when you de f**k gombe women yash,you no pray o,na now when gobe don show you won pray!!
"a man dies but once"
that was my motto
i had taken so many souls
perhaps my is needed today.
I reached for my grenade.
I drew it towards the enermy.it exploded and i was sure
about two souls had been added to my collection.
'Paaa paaa, paaa boom,boom'
the battle began......
"ahhhhh"aliyu screamed.
I cold see from the corner of my eye that aliyu had been hit.
I felt sorry for him.
I kept on fighting.....
We put on a good fight,but in no distant time,
we where over powered,and surrounded.
Game over!!!!i dropped my gun and put my hands in the air.
Full time score was,nigeria 10 boko haram 4.yes we had lost 4 of our men.
We scored the more goals,but this wasnt foot ball.
This was war!!
One of the men came towards me,
before i could say "please"
'paaa'went his gun.
"ahhhhhh"i screamed.
He shot me on my left shoulder.
Our commander immediately
went on his feet begging.
This man de craze?wen e de order me make i shoot their broda for chest,e no hear their cry of mercy abi?
Blood flowed away quickly from my body.
I could feel that i was dying slowly.
"God,accept my soul"i said a silent prayer.
We where loaded into a truck,and zoomed off.
On getting to our destination,we where thrown into a big cell.i opened my eyes and behold i saw...
"na wa o,them catch you too?"
i asked my long lost friend tunde.
"astro the killer"he hailed.
"welcome to hell"tunde said.
Na wa o,am i dead?

Good. Kill them all, kill anything kill-able

But na why you nor finish the yahoo boy story first? Hope you nor be foxy brother?

yemi2plus2: But na why you nor finish the yahoo boy story first? Hope you nor be foxy brother?

yemi2plus2: But na why you nor finish the yahoo boy story first? Hope you nor be foxy brother?

the yahoo boy story still continues o...infact am gona update both from time to time.and me no be foxy o,cuz him na boss

astronautog: the yahoo boy story still continues o...infact am gona update both from time to time.and me no be foxy o,cuz him na boss

update two stories at the same time? You never see anything.
Anyways, let see how it goes

Fully Subscribing,nawa ooo,na why all dis kain sweet sweet tory no dy finish nah?

@Yemi update nah?
@astro nice one.abeg com update sharp sharp
YBNL

"how many soldiers boko go kill?how many soldiers boko go kill!!eh,dem go kill us all o,ehhhh dem go kill us all o,i say how many soldiers boko go kill"
this we sang all through the site.as professional killers we knew solidarity was the key,if we had any chance of living.
We were about 11 in number
the food ratio here was 0-1-0
i had no ideal why they where holding us captive,but i knew nothing good could comeout of it.
We where treated like dogs.the only help i got was that of medical need.
Every night i was taken to a hut where my wounds were nurse a pretty hausa girl.under the watch full eyes of some guards.

They made it clear that if we planned any escape they would kill us all.
I thought about my lovely mother,i imagined her reactions when she would learn that i had being killed.
Tears ran down my cheek,
dad wouldnt even feel a thing.
He would be glad,one more thing to brag about.
I looked at tunde he looked prepared to die at any moment.
All my years of serving in the military i had never being in this kind of situation.
"i never knew hell is real"i said to tunde,trying to cheer him up.
He gave me a weak smile.
I could see that he was dead hungry,it was night and our only hope of food was till the next day.
At that moment a guard signalled me,it was time to visit the beautiful hausa girl i talked about earlier.
I got up and followed the guard.
The journey from our cell to the hut was about 10 minutes walk.
I took every step with difficulty.
Coz the worms in my stomach were gambling,i guess a fight broke out during the process.
Also the gun shot injury made me dizzy.
On getting to the hut i sat down while the beautiful girl changed the plaster around my left shoulder.
As she rubbed an oilment on my body i felt a sensation run through my spine.
Wow this girl go good for bed o,my evil mind wondered.
Its being ages since i last tasted the juice of a woman.
As she rubbed the oilment again i winked at her.
Surprising she winked back.
Soon it was over,she spoke hausa to the guards telling them to take me back.
That night i couldnt sleep i thought of a masterplan.

The next night i was as usual beackoned for treatment.
Geting to the hut i took my seat as usual,as she rubbed me i asked aloud"whats your name angel?"
of course i didnt expect an answer.
To my greatest surprise she replied
"shettima"she replied
"so you can understand english?"i asked in amazement.
"yes of course though am the only one here who can"
i could see that the guards where looking closely i could see that they didnt understand english.
As she toched my chest,i winked at her seductively.
She turned and said something to the guards.
In a giffy they left the hut,and stood outside.
She came closer and asked
"what was that all about?"
this i said,planting a kiss to her lips.
At first she looked confused,but i immediately followed it up with another kiss,and another.
Soon we found our self cuddling and kissing.
I immediately reached for her breast,it was soft and her nipple was had.
Is this really happening i asked my self.while taking her clothes off.
As i was about to insert my little jimmy into her,
"ppaaa"i got a dirty hot slap
but why na,why now?u no slap me when i kiss you na when i wan dance etigi!
"u b gay?"tunde asked bringing me back from the dream world.
"u de mad which kain question b dat?"i replied realising it was all a dream.
"then why you be won f**k me?"he asked

Lols i guess we are in for a surprise

Somewhere in jigawa right now serving my father's land!!!promise to update sooonest!!!luv my fans!!!

.

This is me when am at work

*Story continues*
i looked at tunde he wore a face,he looked so unlike the tunde i knew before my deployment to gombe state.
One more week in this cell and death would be so sure.
I wondered whether i would be giving a honourable burial!ten years of service to my great nation so this is how it would all end
No 21 gun salute for me??
I was lost in thoughts!!!just then i heard gun shots.
Everybody in the cell stood up,we began battling for the chance to look through the only window in the cell.
The window was so small that mice would find it very hard to pass through.
From the sounds i could hear,i was sure a gun battle was going on.
I waited,listenned,eagerly,praying silently for freedom.
The whole cell was silent,the silence lasted for about 20 minutes.
I prayed in my heart first to christ then next to allah.
After about 30 minutes we ran out of hope and faith,i retired to my sleeping position alongside nine other prisoners of boko.
But one man remained hopefull,that man was tunde.
I looked at him and teased him"can any good thing come out of bauchi?"i asked
he didnt even look my way.
Other prisoners laughed at my dry joke.
I knew he was hopeless or so i thought,it is like a student in a nigerian university refusing to go home with the hope that ASUU would call off strike!!.
I was half at sleep when i heard
"get the keys"
have they finally made up their mind to kill us??
I still wondered why they have kept us this long!!
If it was in the eastern part of the country i would say,they want to use us for money ritual.
I was prepared for the worse.
Next voice was that of 'baba fayo' my then oga at the top.
"hope you all are good to go"he asked as he openned our cell.
I couldnt believe this was happenning!!!
I walked towards him and grab him to make sure my brain was not playing tricks with me.
I got a slap for my action as he a superior officer,i knew that but my joy knew no bound.
Tunde gave me a look that said 'do you believe something good can come out of bauchi now?'
"you would be needing this"baba fayo said giving me an ak47 riffle.that was my best ammunition,as i touched it freedom flowed through my veins and immediately i raised a song we sang earlier.
"how many soldiers boko go kill o?how many soldiers boko go kill......."
others joined in and we matched outside.
On getting to the open i gave out 5 gun shot to warn who ever was around that an injured lion was on the loose.
"astro da killer"tunde hailed.

It would be nice if you update more often and faster

Astro baba.......baba agba I hail o

Cakamnonu: It would be nice if you update more often and faster

i wud update often if you guys do ur part of dropping encouranging comments

Nice story

Haba dy drop sharpaly naw like yemi nd co.dy do.nd most esp.dis ur tori make sense. Wella.carry on.as he dy hot...Morrah. High.

Which kind funny story be this?

We were driven straight to jtf(joint task force) camp in bauchi.
On getting there we received great medical care,but i needed more than that!
First i smoked my lungs out because i really missed it,but when that didnt cure my taste i went for something stronger'kpo' also called igbo.
After smoking about 2 wraps i still felt i was lacking something.
I recalled a song"what you gona do when you get out of jail?am gona buy me a girl,what next?pool of s*x!!"i knew i wont get that chance so i smoked more to console myself.

I was given a week off and told to report back to my former station.
I was dropped in kano home was my mission.
I boarded a luxury bus down to onitsha.
As the trip was on i regretted joining the army"na wa o after my ordeal na just a week man get ?so i go come back to that devil backyard,gombe!!"
i was sure i was going to die soon!!!
As i lamented,i fell at sleep.
"every body come out and lie down flat or die now"a voice from a common theif upgraded to 'highway robber'said.
i recalled a story i read on nairaland where once this guy sleeps he finds himself back in a house,but i knew unlike that dude i wasnt in a house,i was in real shit. at that moment sleep ran away faster than usain bolt.
I looked through the window i could see that we where some where in kogi state,but there was no sign of other vehicles.
For goodness sake why do bad things happen to bad people??i asked myself a utme question.
If i was on muffty it would be another story,but i was on my uniform,with my name written on it.
I was not even armed,i prayed that they where not who i thought they where.
Four small boys armed with an ak 47 dragged all the passengers out.
As i was being dragged out i noticed the driver was at sleep.
"na wa o by now he wud be asking for directions to hell"i said to myself.
I knew i would join him soon as one of the highway robbers signalled me!!
He searched my pocket and found my i.d card"osarieee"he tried to pronounce my name
"na osariemen this idiot no fit call"i said in my mind.
He looked at me like he heard my thoughts and said"meet you on the other side"
i could feel his riffle on my head,and soon his bullent went through my skull..........
I could see myself boardind a bus to hell fully airconditioned and the driver was playing erigga 'paper boy'
i suddenly felt cold water!!!
I woke up and saw that i was still back in bauchi at the jtf camp.
"you won kill yourself by urself??five wraps of kpo"tunde asked.
I had never smoked five wraps my highest feet was three and even at that i almost ran mad.
"you get luck o you been dey shake like jelly fish"
one thing igbo doz to you is that it shows you things to be, is left for you to 4lo its advice or not.

More grease to ur elbow

omo c me laffin

This is a front page material,loving this story jor come update oooo

Wow! I'm so loving this.

Happy you guys are enjoying the story.....more to come

Foxy_Rebirth:

You dey mad ni....

Enjoy wetin you no dey update well...

Abeg Waka!!!!

baba foxy this one wey u dey give me bone chop hope say dem baba mod no go delete my thread like they did wth your latest work.

am gona update today so do well to check back later and remember to drop your comments tanks

After i was rescued from my igbo encounter i decided to do something better with my life.
After a week in camp we where given 2 weeks off and i was to report to kaduna after my 2 weeks break.
I wondered why i was asked to report to kaduna?abi them one dismiss me?
A day before we left the jtf camp we were paid a million naira each.
......
I waved tunde goodbye and boarded a bus to abuja,from whre i took a flight to benin.yes i took a flight not because i was scared of the unknown but because i didnt want to try "god",besides i could afford it.
On my arrival home,i knocked at the door,
"who's there?"mum asked asked
"its me"i replied.
"you no get name"
"na me your pikin"
she turned the knob and on seeing me she ran as fast as her legs could go.
I was confused,so i chased her.
Dad saw me too and dashed off.
I stopped and wondered what was wrong,they were behaving like they had seen a ghost!!
I dropped the bread i bought earlier and stepped outside looking for some explaination,then behold i saw,.................
A grave,i walked closer,it read "in loving memory of osariemen a.k.a astro da killer".
Now i knew something was terribly wrong,i fumed in anger.
I never die,dem don bury me??