(I couldn't stop laughing.)
I was driving down the street in ikeja, having just finished answering a call on my mobile phone, when a policeman suddenly jumped in front of my car, opened the front passenger door, entered and jammed it. As is customary with his kind, he wanted to collect "something" from me... Then suddenly he saw the big black Rothweiler dog - Jackie - sitting pretty on the back seat, staring fiercely at him with tongue stuck out.

POLICEMAN: [shaking] Ah! You carry dog?
ME: [I bone my face] Ehn I carry dog. That one na offence? POLICEMAN: [feeling uncomfortable] Na where una dey come from?
ME: From hospital!
POLICEMAN: [feeling uneasy] Ehn! You sick?
ME: No, na the dog sick o! POLICEMAN: [Looks back] Why the dog come dey shake im head like dat?
ME: Oh! Like that? If the dog wan bite person na so e dey shake head o.
POLICEMAN: And the dog know you?
ME: Yes naa. No be me get am? POLICEMAN: [sweating] This your door, how you dey open am?
ME: Open it naa. Abi you no know as you take enter?
POLICEMAN: Abeg, na since I notice the dog I don dey try open am.

(The dog was getting impatient and gave a small grunt, its tongue almost touching the policeman's left ear)

POLICEMAN: (Sliding forward slowly on the seat, visibly sweating and speaking quietly now) Ehn... I don commit today o. Ehn Oga make I drop, abeg. E joor talk to this dog naa. Yeh.... wetin he dey do now?
ME: I don't like the way he dey look you ooo. Make I slow down. Don't rush o or else....be quiet. (Grrrrrrrrrr)
POLICEMAN: Yeepa! Mo gbe. E joor I dey go now. Abeg tell am to cool temper oo.
ME: Oya oya open the door slowly.

The olopa suddenly zoomed out and slammed the door.

The last thing I heard from the policeman?.....
"E no go better for you and your dog!

Be wise my man. What a shirt