One day old man Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the Illinois State Fair. There is this man selling plane rides in his single prop show plane for $10 per person. Stumpy looks to Martha and says, "Martha, I think I really should try that." Martha replies, "I know you want to Stumpy, but we have a lot of bills, and you know the money is tight, and $10 is $10." So Stumpy goes without. Over the next few years they return every year, and the same thing, Stumpy wants to ride, but Martha says no money.

Finally, when Stumpy and Martha are both about 70 years old, Stumpy looks to Martha, and says, "Martha, I'm 70 now, and I don't know if I'll ever get the chance again, so I just have to have a ride in that there airplane." Martha replies in the same old fashion, and Stumpy kind of slumps down. The pilot is standing near by and overhears the conversation,

The pilot pipes up, "Excuse me folks, I couldn't help but hear your situation, and I have a deal for you. I'll take both of you up together, and if you can both make the entire trip without saying a word, or even making the slightest sound, I'll give the ride for free. But if either of you make a sound, its $10 each." Well, Martha and Stumpy look at each other, and agree to take the ride.

The pilot takes them up, and starts to do loop de loops, twists, dives, climbs and spins. No sound. The pilot lands the plane, looks back at Stumpy and says, "Sir, I have to hand it to ya, you didn't make even the slightest sound and that was my best stuff." Stumpy looks back at the pilot and says, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but $10 is $10!"

I got this email today, simply hilarious.



WHO WAN MARRY

There was this very rich Ibo man in Nnewi who had only
one daughter. When the daughter was of marriage age, the father sent news around town that all the eligible young men should come out on a particular day to compete in a test which would determine who was fit to marry his daughter.

On that set day, all the able-bodied young men came
out. Some came with paper and biro and others with cutlasses and swords.

The rich man took them to his swimming pool and addressed the men: "any of you who can swim from one end of this swimming pool to the other would marry my daughter. In addition, I'll give him 15 million naira, a car and a house so they can start of life well. I shall be waiting to meet my son-in-law at the other side. Good luck!"

As the young men, all very excited at the prospect of
winning, started taking off their shirts, a helicopter came over the pool and dropped snakes and crocodiles into the pool.

Immediately all the men turned back and started
wearing their shirts again. Dissapointed, some of them said "make de man go marry im pikin jo!".

All of a sudden, they heard a splash in the pool.
Everybody watched in amazement as one gentleman struggled his way across, avoiding the snakes and
crocodiles. Finally, he made it to the other side as
the would-be in-law, panting.

The rich man, could not believe it. He asked the man
to name anything he wanted. The man was still panting uncontrollably.

Finally, he got himself together and made his request saying, ", show me the pesin wey push me inside di
swimming pool"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------