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Thorns In My Boot....a Soldiers Travail / AVAST!( A Poem For Our Brave Young Frontline Soldiers)- Overhypedsteve. / Is The Use Of Child Soldiers, A Good Phenomenon Or Not - Nigerian Online Debate (2) (3) (4)
|Pharaoh’s Soldiers (poem) by Ojukwursg(m): 6:57pm On Jun 16, 2008|
From underground bunker emerged them
gritty pawns, ravenous females they are,
with nails-fitted clubs sprouting from their heads.
Marshaled by stern scouts; skirting here, there.
Screaming inaudible instructions,
soldiers with sharp pincers tipped with chemicals,
(enough to make Saddam go green, and Bush red)
led them on.
In centuries they marched, six legged beasts,
swiftly unto conquest. Clawing, gnawing, tearing,
unleashing their deadly arsenals.
I winced in my sleep, and jumped off my bed.
Intensely, I fought to shake-off scores,
gallant they are, who clung on, creating more bumps.
Pains shot up my spine, sleep escaped my eyes.
I looked down in awe,
numerous, honey-colored mass,
on white parade ground, that was my bed,
in frenzy, and unending jubilation.
Monomorium pharaonis -
Pharaoh’s Ants - have claimed another victory.
Please let me know what you think of the poem. Critique appreciated.
|Re: Pharaoh’s Soldiers (poem) by Nobody: 1:04am On Jun 17, 2008|
Too much grammar lol
a good poet should write in words, easy to understand. I'm not saying I can't understand it, but the types of good poems are the ones you can read without having to check the dictionary on every line
dnt try to use big words too much, sometimes they might make the poem pointless and not understandable.
but nice poem . . .just try to slow down on the grammar. . .
|Re: Pharaoh’s Soldiers (poem) by Nobody: 2:28am On Jun 17, 2008|
No offense intended
|Re: Pharaoh’s Soldiers (poem) by Ojukwursg(m): 10:20am On Jun 17, 2008|
Thanks 4Her. Thats very much appreciated. Funny I didn't even realise I was using big words. Thanks again.
|Re: Pharaoh’s Soldiers (poem) by kay9(m): 4:38pm On Oct 04, 2008|
@Ojukwu: I just saw this poem. It is good - even if it was wrongly posted. And I don't think the words were too "balloony", if you know what I mean. Poems are meant to be that way. Anyone that thinks otherwise should read Soyinka and Wordsworth's.
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