My bossom friend have had a girl friend for about 11yrs now, but they actually discussed marriage 3 yrs ago. He assured her that if she is willing to wait for him to round of his academic program, he will not disappoint her.

This girl is sweet, lovely and from a good home. She has openly turned down all men asking for her hand in marriage including two from abroad introduced to her by her big sister. She has spared no opportunity in announcing that she has already gotten a soul mate.

The guy also is very focused; doggedly breaking the limitations of background and developing himself academically and professionally. Along the line, he took over the responsibility of seeing to most of his lady's upkeep when her big sister became nonchalant.

The confusing issue right now is that last January, my friend indicated his intention to formally visit the girl's parents so they can start marriage proceedings since he has rounded off his program and has gotten a job in a communication firm.

The lady, still as sweet as ever, told him she has to wait to hear afresh from God because marriage is not to be taken lightly. Her loving attitude towards my friend hasn't changed, in fact, she is maturely sweeter, but almost six months after, she is still waiting to hear from God.

He is 33 and she is 29. At that age, I wonder what she is waiting for, or could it be that she has changed her mind and does not know how to tell my friend.

Appearance:

could it be that she has changed her mind and does not know how to tell my friend.

Maybe she has changed her mind and dosen't know how to tell him. Or maybe she has been communicating with one of the guys from abroad and thinking of changing her mind. My suggestion is the guy should meet her and try to call the babes bluff he can pretend that he knows that she has someone else and tell her to spill the beans or give her an ultimatum and call a spade a spade

she's probably experiencing cold feet

I expect she is nervous having spent so long apart, theguy shd be patient with her and try to be as supportive as possible

marriage is really a big deal and it probably just dawned on her what she's letting herself into

it may not really be a change of mind but the pessure she is facing.
i am a woman i know what it looks like when such situation arises.
again she may want to handle it in a mature way.

The guy should be patient with her. They can also have a time out together to enable them discuss more about their relationship

Patience after 11years of courtship,
patience after 3 years of official marriage proposal,
Patience after six months of waiting to hear from God?

Let me be patience too!

I smell something is not right somewhere.

Is she expecting God to come down from heaven and show her the man to marry?

Every woman wants to get married; and every woman is itching to hear a man propose marriage to her; so for a woman to keep you waiting when you know you’re both ready means something isn’t right somewhere.

What I think is that there might be someone else and she’s now in a position to choose one of them so she’s begging more time from your friend so as to enable her make the right choice.

olanajim:

Patience after 11years of courtship,
patience after 3 years of official marriage proposal,
Patience after six months of waiting to hear from God?

Let me be patience too!

I can see you are tired of that word, My dear listen that is the first and final word in marriage.
As a married man I can tell better. She said she want to hear from God not her friends, then allow
her, except if your friend (or is it you) is not sure of himself. The God she is waiting to hear from is
your God also. So calmness will do else you spoil what you have spent years to build.
Listen the ladies that spoke before me they make sense.
As a man I know how it feels especially when there are guys around.

Next step without being fussy, call her and ask her if she has prayed through.
Don't loose your cool. I trust the God that loves you so much will make all grace abound towards you.
Trust Him He will give you the best that same Lady or another if need be.

Lost my patience? Never!

Well, I was wise not to complete my post. At least, I can laugh.

While I agree with your suggestions, I want the guy to know that anything can happen.

Hasn't the lady been listening to God for the last 11 years? Let say 3 years? Why didn't she first listen to God before dating the guy? And why would she go all the way to court her sisters displeasure just to remain with her man?

Patience is just an excuse to cover up something. She is entertaining fear either about the guy or the wedding.

olanajim:





Patience is just an excuse to cover up something. She is entertaining fear either about the guy or the wedding.

touche !

Ifyalways,
quite an age! Been awhile. Hope all well? I am still busy with the soup you gave me!

lol,Ola.
go tru the thread again pls,someone came up with the right recipe.how u doing?been busy with studies stay safe.

I am safe! Will check it out.

, To your success!

@poster
Jesus is Lord!! 11 years. . .Amen!

U guys r just being touchy n so unfair 2 d gal,

Y is it dat wen d guy asked 4 more tyme, u so adored d gal calling her a 'sweet gal 4rm a good home',

Now, she says she needs 2 hear 4rm God 4 woteva reason, den u say she's 'hiding sthing'

Do u think its only d woman d is endowned with patience?

If she could ave waited 4 d guy 4 11yrs n 6mths, den d guy can as well wait 4 anoda 2yrs if she so wishes?! haba, wots al dis nonsense talk abt anoda man sumwhere, if she waited 2, she wld ave a long tyme ago with shading a single tear,

guys, may una no 2 vex mi abeg!

Tobiegal,

I honestly think the waitings are different. The guy asked her to wait with undoubted assurance that he will marry her. It was just an issue of time. That waiting was defined with purpose and direction. That was why the lady could wait, and the guy lived up to his promise.

The kind of waiting she is making my friend go through now is loomed in undue probability. She could come up tomorrow to announce that God no longer recommend my friend. After all, who can ask God.

But the question is, if she was previously so sure of the guy being her soul mate, where does the element of uncertainty come from? Is God now a man that changes his words sporadically?

My friend wanted to confront her and pretend to "call off" the relationship just to watch her response, but I advised him against that approach. No need rushing to topple what God is probably perfecting. This might actually be a maturity-verification phase. I advised him to be extra supportive and genuinely caring to the lady, after all, good things don't come easy.

Even if he is about loosing his lady, maturity and love can woo her back.

appearance, u r only seeing ur side of the coin.

what if d guy had dumped her?

Appearance:

Tobiegal,

I honestly think the waitings are different. The guy asked her to wait with undoubted assurance that he will marry her. It was just an issue of time. That waiting was defined with purpose and direction. That was why the lady could wait, and the guy lived up to his promise.

The kind of waiting she is making my friend go through now is loomed in undue probability. She could come up tomorrow to announce that God no longer recommend my friend. After all, who can ask God.

But the question is, if she was previously so sure of the guy being her soul mate, where does the element of uncertainty come from? Is God now a man that changes his words sporadically?

My friend wanted to confront her and pretend to "call off" the relationship just to watch her response, but I advised him against that approach. No need rushing to topple what God is probably perfecting. This might actually be a maturity-verification phase. I advised him to be extra supportive and genuinely caring to the lady, after all, good things don't come easy.
Even if he is about loosing his lady, maturity and love can woo her back.

Thats better I must commend you for that, let him just lie low and lt her be, though it can be tough but that's his best bet.

You mean she hasn't been praying since he officially proposed? Let us know when she eventually "hears from God".

Women puhlz!!

if its the man now, all the women will reck fire and brimstone at us but now, its their sister that is misbehaving and they are trying to cover up. government agency like someone said, she no dey pray before dis 11 years?? if she no dey pray, watin she dey do then? abeg make una talk ooohhhhh!!! make wrapper comot for their waist.

Something is not right.

I have a pal who's girl of eight years said the same thing when wanted to finally formalise the whole thing. In his own case he had not gotten a job yet . She finally left him and in less than two months later he got a job and even uses a coy ride now. The girl has tried to come back now since he now has a good job ( i guess God finally spoke to her or got healed of her hearing problems) but my buddy just couldnt take her back.


I dont believe in wasting my time dating for so long, please if God has not spoken to you in eleven or eight years it means he willl never speak to you. Its not that hard to hear from God except you need an earing aid.

Life is too short to waste eight or eleven good years. Tufiakwa.

whoever finds himself in this position should know that the lady in question has got some little doubt in her i.e marry him or not to cos both of them had an agreement to tie the knots together.

She's definitrly dragging her feet!

Maybe she has a phobia for marriage.

, only God knows the heart of men, the guy has kept to his promise and i consider him a man of integrity. i would advise him to be a bit patient with the lady for at most another six month. if she's still waiting to hear from God at that point the guy should move on, no matter how painful. i've seen a few cases like this,

my view of marriage is 'if there is any doubt in your heart, don't go into' so give the girl some time to deal with the doubt in her heart and be supportive