Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,175,279 members, 7,894,188 topics. Date: Friday, 19 July 2024 at 04:02 AM

Clients From Hell Quotes - Webmasters - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Science/Technology / Webmasters / Clients From Hell Quotes (1994 Views)

4 Blogging Sins That May Push You Into A Hell Of Failures - Mi Muba / Clients Who Cheat Web Designers After Getting A Demo / Interswitch Payment Option Now Available For Our Nigerian Clients (2) (3) (4)

(1) (Reply) (Go Down)

Clients From Hell Quotes by iyenimofe(m): 11:50pm On Sep 10, 2013
Hey guys, I just went through some old articles in a blog run by my friend Iggy Ko. He had an article titled 20 Hilarious ‘Clients from Hell’ Quotes from Designers. He outsourced it from a website- clientsfromhell.net. You should really check out that site once in a while, it'll do much good to your health smiley. However, I will share with you some of the quotes. They were really funny to me and I hope you find it hillarious.
Re: Clients From Hell Quotes by iyenimofe(m): 11:51pm On Sep 10, 2013
#1. After sending two invoices for payment, I sent another and called the client when the receipt that they had received it came back.
CLIENT: Why are you calling me?
ME: You haven’t paid and this is the third invoice I’ve sent.
CLIENT: It’s even more than the last one!
ME: Yes. The contract you signed stated that I would add a late fee for payment.
CLIENT: You mean I have to actually pay you? I thought you were joking!
ME: What on earth made you think that?
CLIENT: You’re a freelancer!
ME: And…
CLIENT: Well, you work for free! If you were supposed to be paid, you’d be called a paidlancer or something!

4 Likes

Re: Clients From Hell Quotes by iyenimofe(m): 11:52pm On Sep 10, 2013
#2. “See if we can get the domain name ‘foogle.com’, that way we get all the people who misspell google. If that’s taken, try tahoo, gacebook or qwitter”

2 Likes

Re: Clients From Hell Quotes by iyenimofe(m): 11:52pm On Sep 10, 2013
#3. “These stock images are way too expensive, please just remove the watermarks in Photoshop.”

1 Like

Re: Clients From Hell Quotes by iyenimofe(m): 11:54pm On Sep 10, 2013
#4. “I don’t want the navigation or links on my website to be static. I want them to move around randomly like bees all over the site so my site’s visitors have to catch them if they really want to click on to the next page. It would be really cool if they could also randomly disappear and reappear in other parts of the page, too.”

4 Likes

Re: Clients From Hell Quotes by iyenimofe(m): 11:55pm On Sep 10, 2013
#5. Designed a simple web banner for their etsy shop and a few days later…
Client: “The banner looks terrible its all fuzzy and you cant read it.”
Me: “That’s odd because I’m looking at your etsy shop now and it looks great.”
Client: ”No not that one, I also had it printed into a 1.5 meter long banner to hang over my stall at the market. Looks horrible!”
Re: Clients From Hell Quotes by iyenimofe(m): 11:55pm On Sep 10, 2013
#6. Client: ”Your rates are too high! I’ll do the design myself, and then you can do the implementation.”
Me: ”Okay, that’s fine, just send me the files when you’re finished.”
Client: ”Just one question- how many centimeters is a pixel?”

1 Like

Re: Clients From Hell Quotes by iyenimofe(m): 11:56pm On Sep 10, 2013
#7. “It looks like over time the submit button has begun to fade out a bit. Is it possible to upload a fresh button? I want all the buttons on my site to look new all the time.”

1 Like

Re: Clients From Hell Quotes by iyenimofe(m): 11:56pm On Sep 10, 2013
#8. “Can we have some spare blank pages on the web site? Just so that we can fill it up later when we feel the need.”
Re: Clients From Hell Quotes by iyenimofe(m): 11:57pm On Sep 10, 2013
#9 CLIENT: Should I send the logo as jpg or jpeg?
ME: Send it wtf.
CLIENT: What’s that?
ME: I’m joking with you, send it as a png.
CLIENT: Nice try, but I’m not that stupid.
Re: Clients From Hell Quotes by iyenimofe(m): 11:58pm On Sep 10, 2013
#10. CLIENT: Can our customers visit our website while they’re in our restaurant?
ME: Of course, they can visit the website on their smartphone or laptop. Does your restaurant have WiFi available for customers?
CLIENT: No, not yet. But maybe you can put WiFi on our website?

4 Likes

Re: Clients From Hell Quotes by brucebanner: 11:03am On Sep 11, 2013
iyenimofe: #2. “See if we can get the domain name ‘foogle.com’, that way we get all the people who misspell google. If that’s taken, try tahoo, gacebook or qwitter”
He ought to include mairaland. Lol
Re: Clients From Hell Quotes by spikesC(m): 1:11pm On Sep 11, 2013
grin
Re: Clients From Hell Quotes by Vstuffs(m): 9:09pm On Aug 30, 2014
Just keep on laughing

1 Like

(1) (Reply)

Get All These Latest Tools For Almost Free Now / How Do I Get A Verified Paypal Account To Do Online Business? / Web Designer Needed!

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 28
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.