Am sorry but if your ex was Kenyan what does that have anything to do with anyone. Don't you guys mostly claim your AA guys are mostly in jail or looking to leech on you? So you went for a Kenyan Physician with the goal of leeching on him. It didn't work out and you are claiming something else. He is a physician not hard for them to get green card genius. Now, why is this on a Ngerian forum and not a Kenyan? You think the whole of Africa is a state? I see why you are here lamenting now. Mod please direct this madam to a capable Kenyan forum. We are tired of all these smears by other Africans heaped on Nigerians. This is like blaming America for Mexico's problems

baby_123: Am sorry but if your ex was Kenyan what does that have anything to do with anyone. Don't you guys mostly claim your AA guys are mostly in jail or looking to leech on you? So you went for a Kenyan Physician with the goal of leeching on him. It didn't work out and you are claiming something else. He is a physician not hard for them to get green card genius. Now, why is this on a Ngerian forum and not a Kenyan? You think the whole of Africa is a state? I see why you are here lamenting now. Mod please direct this madam to a capable Kenyan forum. We are tired of all these smears by other Africans heaped on Nigerians. This is like blaming America for Mexico's problems

She kept mentioning Nigeria in her video. Sh1t happens, she should move on! Ppl find new love, get divorce. Because he is African his own should be different, he should tie himself to her even if he is unhappy.

I don't support fraud, but if anyone is unhappy in a relationship, the best is go find your happiness else where. As long as he gets in touch with his kids.

OP, move on! It's been 7 yrs...get yourself together And go look for another fresh working immigrant.this time, let him be a politician. I heard they got loads of money

Chillisauce:

She kept mentioning Nigeria in her video. Sh1t happens, she should move on! Ppl find new love, get divorce. Because he is African his own should be different, he should tie himself to her even if he is unhappy.

I don't support fraud, but if anyone is unhappy in a relationship, the best is go find your happiness else where. As long as he gets in touch with his kids.

OP, move on! It's been 7 yrs...get yourself together And go look for another fresh working immigrant.this time, let him be a politician. I heard they got loads of money

Politician
Chilli, u never cease to be funny!

yellowpawpaw:
Politician
Chilli, u never cease to be funny!

Ok, maybe not politician....doctors engineers, you know what I mean.

MyTeenCity: Ladies, I came across this forum from Google Search Engine. However, the discussion began in 2006 and seemed to extend to 2011. Now it is 2013 and African American women have the need to dialogue about men from Africa coming to America marrying an African American woman for the purpose of obtaining a green card, while most hold White woman to a higher level of praise. I am glad to see this forum. I have began blogging about this issue. Romance was limited. I believe my ex married me for the purpose of obtaining a Green Card. I was so in love with him. I am not sure if my video will be uploaded, but I want to know if African women from Africa agree with me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUFMyq1fYHg

Hmmmm .....
There can be No deep disappointment where there is No deep LOVE !
But LOVE is always open arms,
If you close your arms about LOVE , you will find out that you are left holding only yourself !

I dnt lik pple generalizin,AA men,white guys,asians all do same,no shoe size fits all...plz op stop all dis and get out of ur small box and look ,thy re lots of nigerians,kenyans married to whites and AA wit strong stable rships ,marriages with kids..so dnt get it twistd.my uncle,a nigeria in newyork is married to a AA ,he even paid her college fees to study nursing,she is a motivational speaker now

User getting used.

MyTeenCity: I appreciate all of the comments...even the one's "not so nice."

As an African American women with so many African American men incarcerated, living below poverty lines, or barely able to care for their families-I was in love with my ex within 2 day's. I did not know he had been divorced from his wife in New York for less than 60 day's when we met. My ex is a physician, good looking, charming, affectionate and made me feel like a princess. With 0 children and God fearing-WHAT WAS NOT TO LOVE?Yes ladies the merchandise down low was good too.

On DAy 2 of marriage, this man looked me in the eye and said, "I don't like to kiss." I SHOULD HAVE RAN ON THAT DAY. We had been kissing before marriage; oral before marriage; now that we are married, you don't like to WHAT The pain of this day was the beginning of 12 years.

As I'm reading your story from Snellville. I couldn't believe what I am reading. You were married to the man for 12 years !!!!, C'mon now that's a longtime to put up with foolishness. I am trying to feel you on this one but I just can't seem to feel it. Are you saying the man married you to get papers or am I missing something. I found that logic amazing. He is a Physican, and as a Physican, board certified I assume. he does not need to get married in order for him to get any papers.

pickabeau1:

Sorry, but i thought your ex was kenyan?......

Absolutely correct. Unfortunately it just goes to demonstrate how far I have expanded my beliefs about men from African who date African American women-they only want a Green Card. This is awful. I can only pray that one day I feel different. Prayerfully something will spark a change of heart. But for now, I will not date any man from Africa regardless of their city, tribe, or sub-culture. If the dominant culture is Africa-it is hands off for me.

t2luv:

As I'm reading your story from Snellville. I couldn't believe what I am reading. You were married to the man for 12 years !!!!, C'mon now that's a longtime to put up with foolishness. I am trying to feel you on this one but I just can't seem to feel it. Are you saying the man married you to get papers or am I missing something. I found that logic amazing. He is a Physican, and as a Physican, board certified I assume. he does not need to get married in order for him to get any papers.

Unfortunately he did. After 2 month's of marriage, I found out he had been divorced for 2 month's PRIOR to marrying me. The signs of why he married me was present in the beginning-talk about foolish-I WAS. From his statement of, "I married you for my convenience......don't inconvenience me....white women taste better.....I don't like to kiss (we kissed when we were dating). Refusal to do the slightest for me without any inconvenience to himself such as pick me up from the airport....buy me a bed.....the list goes on and on. Physician's no longer receive the inherited need from the Department of Labor to obtain Work Visa's as they use to. Unfortunately, it is not that simple for physician's to be sponsored by employer's. Without the ability to practice and obtain hospital privileges, having the title as a physician means nothing. Sure it is hard to believe. It took me about 10 years to even believe it-why would I want to. Do you think this was easy for me to accept? It took me 3 years to even begin to share my story. Still, I appreciate your honesty. When time permits, look at my video again and really hear my plea. Thanks for chiming in.

eeewise: I dnt lik pple generalizin,AA men,white guys,asians all do same,no shoe size fits all...plz op stop all dis and get out of ur small box and look ,thy re lots of nigerians,kenyans married to whites and AA wit strong stable rships ,marriages with kids..so dnt get it twistd.my uncle,a nigeria in newyork is married to a AA ,he even paid her college fees to study nursing,she is a motivational speaker now

This is MY STORY to BEGIN SHARING. If it was so general, then why did Canada release a video of personal stories to help their citizens not fall victim to fraudulent marriages. Why did they prevent person's from re-marrying within so many years who was seeking a Green Card. Really? You really think my box is that small? When is the last time you have checked outside of your worldview. Stepping outside of my worldview led me to marry this man. Now I am within my worldview to determine all that I missed. I missed a lot. The manipulation and fraud was beyond anything I could have imagined-can't compare. I did not grow up dreaming about Coming to America. I was not equipped to see the warning signs. But I am now. I had such love and respect for men from Africa. So if I got it twisted, then you need to scream your sentiment to the top of the mountain. I had warning signs, but I WAS FOOLISH AND IN LOVE. NEVER AGAIN. Still, thanks for sharing, but this is my story to share and I welcome all comments-including the one's from your box.

Lucasbalo: User getting used.

Sometimes the worldview of a person is so skewed its hard to imagine otherwise. When I married I had almost a year of undergrad remaining. We built 3 companies together. He had a personal income of about $250,000 a year. One property of 175 acres. About 16 homes. 1 condo. and nearly 7 accounts. 2 commercial buildings. In the divorce I asked for 6 month's of maintenance at $400 per month. We split the marital property in the home based on what he wanted to give me. My only real frustration with the divorce settlement was the Christmas stuff that my mother, who passed, brought for me-it is meaningful. Do you know he would not even send that little to me. This is the only comment of all comments that got under my skin. I married for LOVE. Perhaps you don't know what that word means. I married what I thought was a sexy, articulate, God fearing, zero children, affectionate man who would love me for me and accepted me for me. I WAS WRONG. I WAS FOOLISH. I WAS MANIPULATED. I wanted nothing from him but the love he could not give me. Through trying to understand his desperation to become a citizen, I am working toward forgiveness but it is a journey. So please DO NOT mention User getting used-you sound like an idiot. At least say something of substance verses spattering out one sentence that only applies to YOUR PERSONALITY

Akeem79: Hmmmm .....
There is can be No deep disappointment where there is No deep LOVE !
But LOVE is always open arms,
If you close your arms about LOVE , you will find out that you are left holding only yourself !

LOVE IT! I really love that quote and your sentiment is heard loud and clear. Please pray that I get to that point in my life. Understanding is the beginning for me and you are correct about love. WOW! I will be posting this comment along the way-it is noteworthy for me to remember for years to come.

yellowpawpaw:
Politician
Chilli, u never cease to be funny!

HONESTLY, I met another anesthesiologist from Nigeria and I would not marry him! So what does that tell you. He is a man of substance, but men from Africa scare me. Whether they are nigerians or from Kenya-I can't do it now. Money? U don't know the half of your own words! But I hear your sentiment and it is okay. After all, I opened myself up for this so I have to be ready for all comments. Including the wise crack's-its all good. Maybe next time I would just do as everyone is thinking, get a deal in place to marry for a Green Card-NOT...NOT...NOT

baby_123: Am sorry but if your ex was Kenyan what does that have anything to do with anyone. Don't you guys mostly claim your AA guys are mostly in jail or looking to leech on you? So you went for a Kenyan Physician with the goal of leeching on him. It didn't work out and you are claiming something else. He is a physician not hard for them to get green card genius. Now, why is this on a Ngerian forum and not a Kenyan? You think the whole of Africa is a state? I see why you are here lamenting now. Mod please direct this madam to a capable Kenyan forum. We are tired of all these smears by other Africans heaped on Nigerians. This is like blaming America for Mexico's problems

Baby_123 "Yes [y]ou guys mostly claim your AA guys are mostly in jail...." is the sentiment that I share in my introduction video. I take it you did not watch it before commenting-it is okay! How is marrying someone you fall in love with leeching on. I learn a lot on this forum. People tell you more about who they are based on the words they say verses specifically stating, "I am......." I have never used the term leech on to describe meeting a person and falling in love. You can say I was foolish. You can say I was even dumb as hell about the culture of men from Africa. If you say leech on to describe the process of love, then you are telling me something about yourself. Africa is a Continent. I never said Africa is a State You should be tired of other Africans heaped on Nigerians-GOOD FOR YOU! Unfortunately, that is the reality in the United States. I am sure there are many other sub-cultures that are never mentioned outside of Nigeria, but don't tell that to an American. Thanks to the wide spread publicized fraud of Nigerians it is "heaped" as you say, onto Nigerians. Blaming America for Mexico's problems is apples to orange's. Perhaps I too will find a Kenyan forum. I have a feeling another forum from Kenya will be reflective of they type of comments I shall receive on this forum. Would you agree? Thanks for sharing. Comments don't have to be easy on the heart, just full of substance and that is enough for me. I learn something each time I read through enough posts.

A practicing physician in the USA without a green card?? Tell me more?

What are you on about OP , Nigerian bashing Thread on a Nigerian Forum

OP dear,

with all you mentioned yet $400 per month?

MyTeenCity:

Sometimes the worldview of a person is so skewed its hard to imagine otherwise. When I married I had almost a year of undergrad remaining. We built 3 companies together. He had a personal income of about $250,000 a year. One property of 175 acres. About 16 homes. 1 condo. and nearly 7 accounts. 2 commercial buildings. In the divorce I asked for 6 month's of maintenance at $400 per month.

armyofone: OP dear,

with all you mentioned yet $400 per month?

Am telling you, with three kids? So her love didn't see jobless guys . Na correct physician she catch. I bin dey support her, but I changed ma mind.

MyTeenCity:

Absolutely correct. Unfortunately it just goes to demonstrate how far I have expanded my beliefs about men from African who date African American women-they only want a Green Card. This is awful. I can only pray that one day I feel different. Prayerfully something will spark a change of heart. But for now, I will not date any man from Africa regardless of their city, tribe, or sub-culture. If the dominant culture is Africa-it is hands off for me.

Its your choice not to date any african but it seems ungracious of you to come to a nigerian based forum n tar males with a brush.


Some do it for green card..some dont

Some AAs are successful, some are not - Re the low lifes you see on Cheaters, steve vitko n countless reality SHOWS

Does it mean we should term all AAs as hoodrats n racheted chics


Get rid of your extreme bias

Dont marry an afrikan man.... good but dont say all of us are manipulators


My point

pickabeau1:



Its your choice not to date any african but it seems ungracious of you to come to a nigerian based forum n tar males with a brush.


Some do it for green card..some dont

Some AAs are successful, some are not - Re the low lifes you see on Cheaters, steve vitko n countless reality SHOWS

Does it mean we should term all AAs as hoodrats n racheted chics


Get rid of your extreme bias

Dont marry an afrikan man.... good but dont say all of us are manipulators


My point

exactly my point!!! Ts myopic for pple to think the whole world is hinged upon their own experience..whereas its jst their experience which is an experience not d norm.ask her how many nigerian men does she know?how many states in d us out of 50 has she visited?how many africa communities around d us hav she visited?

Chillisauce:

Am telling you, with three kids? So her love didn't see jobless guys . Na correct physician she catch. I bin dey support her, but I changed ma mind.

Me too, she's spewing some crap now. "African culture is marrying for green card?" Wth? You went outside your worldview so should we give you a medal?

I didn't watch the video but I'm hearing they were married for 12 yrs? Is this true? How long does it take to get his green card after marriage? 1-2 yrs tops? And the remaining years of marriage? Abeg, talk about the real things that are pinching you and stop using the 'green card game' as a smokescreen.

And he was actually a working physician not just one who hadn't passed his USMLE's or something? A practicing physician is already on his path to a green card abeg. Worst case scenario, he goes and works in some dead end village somewhere for a couple of years. Anyway, anything is possible sha but he certainly was not in a desperate situation.

I'm exasperated as the involved person is a kenyan sef

eeewise: exactly my point!!! Ts myopic for pple to think the whole world is hinged upon their own experience..whereas its jst their experience which is an experience not d norm.ask her how many nigerian men does she know?how many states in d us out of 50 has she visited?how many africa communities around d us hav she visited?

www.experienceproject.com/groups/Am-A-Victim-Of-Emotional-Abuse/144025 ,now op if u did say u were a victim of abuse I wil sympatise wit u.but one tin I wil neva apologise for is u labellin dis an african tin!!.above is a link of lots of whitess and AA women marryd to whites and AA men havin d same issues,many even worse.just click on d individual stories and read and u wil see d same pattern, signs,red flags,self esteem#this is thinkin frm my BOX

pickabeau1: I'm exasperated as the involved person is a kenyan sef

IF you read her subsequent stories, the Kenyan Physician told her from onset he was marrying her for his own convenience. How is that manipulation? She knew what she was getting into yet she pushed on and came on here to spit venom.

I wouldn't know how long it takes for a green card to be issued but I know it doesn't take as long as 12yrs. If the physician was in it for green card, I want to believe the guy later changed his mind to be with her for 12yrs. You have not explained what led to the break up of the marriage so we can be sure the guy married you for a green card.

With the thrash you have written here, I wouldn't be surprised if the guy left you for a more intelligent fellow. Making up your mind not to have anything to do with an African is strictly and entirely your choice but going down the lane of categorizing all Africans as fraudulent is beyond your entitlement and we have the right to defend ourselves against your myopic view.

If you don't consider an African, there are millions of AA women looking for Africans to marry. Your choice does not stop the world from revolving.

When next you want to open a thread here, please make it an intelligent discussion devoid of myopic view and bitterness against race, culture and gender.

MyTeenCity:

Sometimes the worldview of a person is so skewed its hard to imagine otherwise. When I married I had almost a year of undergrad remaining. We built 3 companies together. He had a personal income of about $250,000 a year. One property of 175 acres. About 16 homes. 1 condo. and nearly 7 accounts. 2 commercial buildings. In the divorce I asked for 6 month's of maintenance at $400 per month. We split the marital property in the home based on what he wanted to give me. My only real frustration with the divorce settlement was the Christmas stuff that my mother, who passed, brought for me-it is meaningful. Do you know he would not even send that little to me. This is the only comment of all comments that got under my skin. I married for LOVE. Perhaps you don't know what that word means. I married what I thought was a sexy, articulate, God fearing, zero children, affectionate man who would love me for me and accepted me for me. I WAS WRONG. I WAS FOOLISH. I WAS MANIPULATED. I wanted nothing from him but the love he could not give me. Through trying to understand his desperation to become a citizen, I am working toward forgiveness but it is a journey. So please DO NOT mention User getting used-you sound like an idiot. At least say something of substance verses spattering out one sentence that only applies to YOUR PERSONALITY

Awwwww #Sorry

On point .. bro!

bellong:

IF you read her subsequent stories, the Kenyan Physician told her from onset he was marrying her for his own convenience. How is that manipulation? She knew what she was getting into yet she pushed on and came on here to spit venom.

I wouldn't know how long it takes for a green card to be issued but I know it doesn't take as long as 12yrs. If the physician was in it for green card, I want to believe the guy later changed his mind to be with her for 12yrs. You have not explained what led to the break up of the marriage so we can be sure the guy married you for a green card.

With the thrash you have written here, I wouldn't be surprised if the guy left you for a more intelligent fellow. Making up your mind not to have anything to do with an African is strictly and entirely your choice but going down the lane of categorizing all Africans as fraudulent is beyond your entitlement and we have the right to defend ourselves against your myopic view.

If you don't consider an African, there are millions of AA women looking for Africans to marry. Your choice does not stop the world from revolving.

When next you want to open a thread here, please make it an intelligent discussion devoid of myopic view and bitterness against race, culture and gender.

Op they re lots of professionals and business men,doctors,lawyers,engineers in nigeria that don't dream of goin to america,they only go there for d holidays 1 or 2 weeks,they earn more than d average american earns.they stay n hotels 80 % of americans can't afford,I knw sme stayn in apartments wit rental prices of $150000 per year[banana island ikoyi]so u infering dat all africans dream of goin abroad isn't true.lastly if u married sme1 that "used" u, shows us that UR SENSE OF JUDGEMENT,WISDOM and discernment isn't there yet and dat shd b d debate here#like attracts like.

bellong:

With the thrash you have written here, I wouldn't be surprised if the guy left you for a more intelligent fellow.

Bwahahaha!

bellong:

When next you want to open a thread here, please make it an intelligent discussion devoid of myopic view and bitterness against race, culture and gender.

This!!

I too thought she was here to have an intelligent discussion till she started spouting meaningless, emotional bs.

MyTeenCity:

Absolutely correct. Unfortunately it just goes to demonstrate how far I have expanded my beliefs about men from African who date African American women-they only want a Green Card. This is awful. I can only pray that one day I feel different. Prayerfully something will spark a change of heart. But for now, I will not date any man from Africa regardless of their city, tribe, or sub-culture. If the dominant culture is Africa-it is hands off for me.

Op I really understand how you feels , but I want to let you know that Love is always repaired by Love alone and the spaces between your fingers were created so that another person's fingers could fill them in , you cannot Love again unless you have accepted forgiveness , the deeper your forgiveness is , the greater is your Love , A woman has got to Love a bad man once or twice in her life , so that she will be thankful for a good man when she find one ,
Time is too slow for those who wait
Time is too swift for those who fear
Time is too long for those who grieve
Time is too short for those who rejoice
But for those who Love Time is eternity,
you can never lose by loving but you always lose by holding back .
Move on and forget the past
Believed it or not your next husband go na bi an Africana ,( A NIGERIAN )
Finally IF YOU TRY AND FAIL DON'T FAIL TO TRY AGAIN ( GOODLUCK )

For seven years, they are no longer together, she is still bitter .

He was making 250 k and she was still a student. Which person no go go for him.

I truly love him my colour-riot Yansh.

Pick ur life back woman, use your energy to take care of your family. Bitterness won't get u anywhere

MyTeenCity:

Sometimes the worldview of a person is so skewed its hard to imagine otherwise. When I married I had almost a year of undergrad remaining. We built 3 companies together. He had a personal income of about $250,000 a year. One property of 175 acres. About 16 homes. 1 condo. and nearly 7 accounts. 2 commercial buildings. In the divorce I asked for 6 month's of maintenance at $400 per month. We split the marital property in the home based on what he wanted to give me. My only real frustration with the divorce settlement was the Christmas stuff that my mother, who passed, brought for me-it is meaningful. Do you know he would not even send that little to me. This is the only comment of all comments that got under my skin. I married for LOVE. Perhaps you don't know what that word means. I married what I thought was a sexy, articulate, God fearing, zero children, affectionate man who would love me for me and accepted me for me. I WAS WRONG. I WAS FOOLISH. I WAS MANIPULATED. I wanted nothing from him but the love he could not give me. Through trying to understand his desperation to become a citizen, I am working toward forgiveness but it is a journey. So please DO NOT mention User getting used-you sound like an idiot. At least say something of substance verses spattering out one sentence that only applies to YOUR PERSONALITY

Poster/Tina,

It's quite unfortunate that your marriage broke up, did you say 12 good years? but do you wanna act as if your divorce is peculiar to you alone? I would say by Black American standard that's a long marriage! 75% to 85% of black American families are broken families regardless of whom they were married to (I'm in the US i know). I read someone correcting you that a certified Physician do not need a spouse sponsored green card and it's not far from the truth, I have a Nigerian doctor friend trained in John Hopkins and he is a Green card holder by virtue of profession/job without marrying a citizen or green card holder. I do not dispute that there are cases of Green card fraud marriages but yours wasn't one. Does it take him 12 years to get a Green Card from you? in fact it takes approx 9 - 12 months if he married a citizen. Spreading a tale of calumny against Africans is like a mission based on personal vendetta for love gone sour between two people, also aren't you as African as they come? The sincere truth is that yes you were foolish but you weren't deceived at all, marrying a Physician is a dream come true knowing what your black American society looks like! you gambled on what you saw and liked and you lost! It is easier to bear when racial segregation comes from the Caucasians but it's shame when it comes from a Black African sister !!! If i should write all that is in my mind you won't like me!

armyofone: OP dear,

with all you mentioned yet $400 per month?

You truly believe a person so unforgiving with such a rant would have truly settled for that if she had a choice? This is someone that was married for 12yrs. He probably had her sign as prenup or had something against her to use just in case she want to fight. Also she is claiming to build something with him. When she was still in uni when she married this rich physician. OP I recommend a counselor for you. Because you sound so irrational, unstable and on the edge. Maybe the guy was fleeing for his life. 3yrs and you are still so hateful. I think it is the money bothering you. I think you signed a prenup. As a physician as long as he has passed his exams he will get sponsored. He didn't need to marry you, and he didn't use you if he was with you for 12yrs. You seem hell bent on only believing the thoughts in your head and what you have convinced yourself of. Nigerians are known for what? I am sure what my great grand fathers have accomplished in this Nigeria, all your family line put together cannot hold a cup to it. With your $400 a month allowance. Go and get a job and stop being bitter. If you owned anything and built anything you wouldn't be dying of frustration. I actually pity the guy that endured for 12yrs with you. What a nightmare