A famous inspirational
speaker said:

“Best years of my life
were spent in the arms
of a woman, who wasn’t
my wife.”

Audience was in shock
and silence.

He added: “She was my
mother.”
(A big round of plause
and laughter)

A very daring husband
tried to crack this at
home.
After dinner, he said
loudly to his wife in the
kitchen:

“Best years of my life
were spent in the arms
of a woman, who wasn’t
my wife”

Standing for a moment,
trying to recall the
second line of that
speaker…
.
.
.
By the time he gained his
senses, he was on a
hospital bed, recovering
from burns of boiling
water!

Moral: Don’t Copy, if you
can’t Paste.

Respect ur Parents


An 80 year old man was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his 45 years old highly educated son. Suddenly a crow perched on their window.
The Father asked his Son, “What is this?”
The Son replied “It is a crow”.

After a few minutes, the Father asked his Son the 2nd time, “What is this?”
The Son said “Father, I have just now told you “It’s a crow”.

After a little while, the old Father again asked his Son the 3rd time, What is this?”
At this time some ex-pression of irritation was felt in the Son’s tone when he said to his Father with a rebuff. “It’s a crow, a crow”.

A little after, the Father again asked his Son t he 4th time, “What is this?” This time the Son shouted at his Father, “Why do you keep asking me the same question again and again, although I have told you so many times ‘IT IS A CROW’. Are you not able to understand this?”

A little later the Father went to his room and came back with an old tattered diary, which he had maintained since his Son was born.
On opening a page, he asked his Son to read that page. When the son read it, the following words were written in the diary :-
“Today my little son aged three was sitting with me on the sofa, when a crow was sitting on the window. My Son asked me 23 times what it was, and I replied to him all 23 times that it was a Crow. I hugged him lovingly each time h e asked me the same question again and again for 23 times. I did not at all feel irritated I rather felt affection for my innocent child”.
While the little child asked him 23 times “What is this”, the Father had felt no irritation in replying to the same question all 23 times and when today the Father asked his Son the same question just 4 times, the Son felt irritated and annoyed. So..
If your parents attain old age, do not repulse them or look at them as a burden, but speak to them a gracious word, be cool, obedient, humble and kind to them. Be considerate to you…

Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom.
They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed some thing in his hand.
Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride. The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something.
So he announced, “Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life.”
Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, “My daughter finally, finally returned my credit card to me.”
The whole audience including priest started laughing….
….. But not the poor groom!

After 15 years of marriage a wife asked her husband to describe her.
He looked at her and said slowly “ABCDEFGHIJK”
What does that mean she asked?
Husband replied…
Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant , Fashionable, Gorgeous, and Hot
Wife was very pleased, but then she asked…
What about ‘IJK’?

He answered: I’m Just Kidding!!

(Of course he’s dead now…. God bless this brave but foolish man….)

nice

Mr. Bean vs Einstein..

Einstein & Mr.Bean sitting next to each other on a long flight.. Einstein says, Let’s play a game.. I will ask you a question, if you don’t know the answer, you pay me only $5 and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500. Einstein asks the first question: What’s the distance from the Earth to the Moon..? Mr.Bean doesn’t say a word, reaches his pocket, pulls out a $5.. Now, it’s Mr.Bean’s turn.. He asks Einstein: What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes down on 4 legs..? Einstein searches the net and asks all his smart friends.. After an hour he gives Mr.Bean $500.. Einstein going nuts and asks: Well,so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four..? Mr.Bean reaches his pocket and gives Einstein 5$ !!! Einstein Fainted !!!

Marriage quotes 01

Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence.

Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.

Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.

Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit.

Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever.

Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "rings":
* The Engagement Ring
* The Wedding Ring
* The Suffe-Ring
* The Endu-Ring

Looks delightful and beastly.