[center]This Love[/center]

[center]My smile, he calls it his only sunrise,
Never will it set, in his eyes.
My tears, diamonds, he could never prize,
Where is this love?

My lover's touch, he strokes to please,
Evokes tremors like Autumns own warm breeze,
While a sensual sigh, escapes my lips with ease,
Where is this love?

To heal fragmented memories, split, torn,
Pierced by life's callous thorn.
Bruised by flesh and with a spirit so worn,
Where is this love?

His words fabricate the blanket for my aching soul
To rest, while our days turn old,
He is the womb from a world so cold,
Where is this love?

If there be this love on earth,
No journey could exceed it's worth
To fill this void and replenish my dearth,
Tell me, where is this love?[/center]

(Constructive criticism would be great) 

The first line was catchy, will he never see your smile which he calls the sunrise !!!
i like this, this poem is curny
its like eating dessert that i never want to end
Short it is anyway !!!
Teasing, Bravo

Would you like to check mine and have a comment
I wrote About a player or players

Let me know what you think

Thanks for your input, so you think it should be longer?

I'll read yours 2

well its cool to understand that the subject matter is about love
the first atchy verse

My smile, he calls it his only sunrise,
Never will it set, in his eyes.

says something like he would get the beautiful things that come with the love, like your smile
At the same time you talk about what interests you like his touch, memories and words

this is where the peom gets one thinking
what is the end result - are you going to look for such love ?

Curny i say, not easy to dissect but leaves one to ponder,
yeah, id want it longer. maybe because i write lenghty limericks, peoms ,

The lines of the poem are very mature and pricks the heart.
I love it. Keep it up

dont look any further the love is here

'This love', wrestles and weaves an emotional web,of the very thought of what love would do if present,and the after effect feelings of conflict, allegiance even. 'To heal fragmented memories' ,there's a famine of love that dwells in her, and the conflict arises because the sun that shines must set at one point,to rise again.
So a rebirth occurs, the loved becomes beloved and seeks love. Where is love?
I'd say it never left in the first place. Look within.

this poem is real tight, though i agree it can be a bit longer and really touch the various corner of your yearnings for the love which a trip to the moon on a molue is worth, something like
Whose mere presence gives life essence
Whose mere mention makes my problems tense

But all in all its a good poem, Good one

I read some comments from fellow writers/poets or visitors and i started smile, they wanted the poem longer because they don't want it so end so quick, in the future u will win a ken saro wiwa price. I wish u the best! I will post some of my works for people to tell me what they feel, once again,you are great!