My friend is one of the big babes when we were in the university. My people, she had a nice time, really enjoyed herself. Plenty nite outs with Lecturers and big daddies. She got married to a young chap whom she met during NYSC shortly after service. Now three years down the line, there is no issue. My friend confided in me that she did series of abortion during school days, she did not tell her hubby either before or after their wedding. They have spent fortune on medical expenses, tests etc. In the result of the last test carried out in June 2013, the doctor wrote "bilateral tubal blockage/ linear damage, several signs of instrumentation noticed". It was at this time that my friend confessed to have done 4 abortions in the past to her hubby. The last one I suspect was done by a quatck. She said her hubby became unusually cold and quiet at home since then. On October 3, she saw her husband packing certificates, books and suits in the morning, that was the last time she saw him. We made frantic efforts to know his whereabout to no avail, the guy's family did not help matter, they remain mute. It was the police DPO of their area whom the issue was reported to who now informed us that the family of the guy has confided in him that the he has actually jetted out to Canada for post graduate, that was after 4 days of high blood pressure for my friend. What a bad family! My friend is very sad, no communication with her husband, her e-mails wereo not replied. I blamed her for being deceitful, but what can she do now, cant her medical situation be solved medically?

What goes around comes around. U rip what u sow

What goes around comes around. U rip what u sow. If I were him I wil go far off

how many of tmes will you open a thread on this same topic?

Your choping seuns bandwith o!

Ladies want the good life. Now she is paying dearly for it

Why is she having High BP? When she was in the university, didnt she enjoy herself? In conclusion "What shall it profit a run's girl if she gain the whole lecturers and suger daddies only to loose her lovely husband? She should consider herself a divorcee cos even d family is angry with her as well as d hubby.


End of the road for her!

find out d meanin of elope pls or change ur headline to abadoned wife

alfredo4u: find out d meanin of elope pls or change ur headline to abadoned wife

thanks

Capt. JH Miller:
how many of tmes will you open a thread on this same topic?

Your choping seuns bandwith o!

I didn't know that the first one was actually posted. Internet Service was bad here. Since I dont know how to delete topic, let the moderator help in closing one, very sorry for this.

Personally, i think the man abandoned the wife because he felt she fooled him. If the wife had confided in him before hand, maybe the man would have decide to stand by her to fight the battl to the last, now she fooled the man into marrying her knowing fully well that she has a shady past and after all she did with her life while in school and you said the man shouldnt run away.
The mistake many people make in marriage is that, they are always afraid that the potential spouse will leave them if they open up, forgetting that, the person who really loved you will stay regardless of the lifestyle one must have lived, afterall, everyone has a past.
Now, shes paying the price of not being open to the man, and i wouldnt totally blame the man for running away.
Therefore, tell your friend(if not you) to live with it, its the price she has to pay for not being open to him and for her past lifestyle.
May God her and all of us.

I hope u will show her this. How u really want to help her from d bottom of ur heart.

In addition, let me be honest with you, that man may never come back , especially when the family of the man is already aware of what is happening and it seems they are all in support of what his actions and inactions, therefore, tell your friend(if not you) to move forward with her life, but not repeat the previous mistake in her subsequent relationship, the man that really love her will stand by her and help in finding solution to her problem medically, and can even suggest to her for them to go for adoption, if the problem seems incurable or beyond remedy.
Wishing her goodluck.

greatgod2012: In addition, let me be honest with you, that man may never come back , especially when the family of the man is already aware of what is happening and it seems they are all in support of what his actions and inactions, therefore, tell your friend(if not you) to move forward with her life, but not repeat the previous mistake in her subsequent relationship, the man that really love her will stand by her and help in finding solution to her problem medically, and can even suggest to her for them to go for adoption, if the problem seems incurable or beyond remedy.
Wishing her goodluck.

yeah right....after they have lived a useless life alone ....enjoying the loots now a new good man will stay and help her fight the sores of her former life....you try well well....as for me no be me go follow dat kind woman.....marriage is suppose to be enjoyed not managed....if it was proved dat medically she is ok..no problem a good man can wait...but all the destroyed womb abeg go and be a nun or sumtin....dont spoil a man's life

After all you girls will always say na love we go chop....so chop the fruits of your labour alone na

The words are true '"There's nothing hidden that will not be exposed, nothing covered that will not be revealed ..."

Whatever a man sows, he reaps in multiple fold.


What else can be said to your friend but to keep praying peradventure her husband can change his mind.

Why did she hide info as this from him. It is well with her

^^^ In most situations, ladies with terrible history like the one described here are expected to let her potential husband know of her abortions story. She is not compelled to talk about her escapades with diverse men but hiding the abortion part is a no no. It would have been better if it was only one but four....

This is why ladies should always let their brains and hearts be in sync in relationships than being controlled by emotions. Some did several abortions for guys in the name of I love him while others are aristos. Men will always, excluding divine judgement, get away with whatever immoral past they have lived except plagued with STDs. But for the ladies, the history is like a finger print, no matter how long it is hidden, when the time comes it shall be exposed like this case.

Accept my sympathy on her behalf d evi dat women do now live with dem.

This story reminds me of the lady that married a man that cannot produce sperm. It was a big cover up. an EMOTIONAL FRAUD. Depriving the other of what they suppose to have by covering life of lies and deceit.

The man should go for annulment (Sorry I forgot this is Nigeria where annulment and Divorce is like a plague that you don't mention).

It serves as a lesson to the young ones out there.

OP: I saw you called the husband's family wicked. I beggy stop it else you will make us conclude that you are Birds of the same feather with this morally loose ashewo - runs girlfriend of yours.

chaircover: Bellong what will they do? Infact how will they even say it?

Dear errrmmm there is something I need to tell you. . .

And realistically how many men will still go ahead and marry the woman? Will she keep on telling prospective suitors and they all run away for the rest of her life

The irony is that she didnt make herself pregnant and it was men that got her pregnant the 4 times, men sow their wild oats all over the place yet still want to marry untouched virgins. There are bound to be cockkups like this. Too many perpetrators and too many victims jare.

she made an ovum available to be fertilised. she should be held accountable for her action. men didn't get her pregnant the 4 times, was she räped or morning after pills weren't in existence in those years?

CC, i believe in a yoruba saying, which is "omi ti eeyan ba ma mu, ko ni san koja e".
There are still people who loves unconditionally, if she has opened up a little, even if not all, the man or any other man who might love her unconditionally may accept her, and even, if she wasnt accepted, i think that is better than the emotional traumma she had put herself into now.

And as for the man passing through complex divorce processes and for once been in a failed marriage, i think its not only the man alone , the woman is also affected with it too, in addition to the trauma shes already in, i think pouring out earlier would have saved her from all these.


It is true that, she is just been unlucky, but have you heard that "nkan ti taye ba se, to ba mu je, kehinde le ma mu je". Some might actually done worse that what she did and have a wonderful marriage still, but that does not mean that everyone will scape through like that.

Meanwhile, i would rather be rejected for saying the truth than be accepted for telling lies, which most definitely may work against me in the future.

I wish her goodluck though, everyone has his/her past, but her own past has refused to be in the past.
May God help us all.

people who are going to abandon their spouses, really do not need an excuse per se, to do so.

so, i guess what the op is trying to say is somebody's husband abandoned her and moved to canada to start a new life. (like canada and abandoned nigerian marriage is something new?)

everything else is just extra detail which is actually inconsequential to the topic.

another example:

My Husband Impregnated Two Women And Fled To Spain

https://www.nairaland.com/9736/husband-impregnated-two-women-fled

madamshepopo: My friend confided in me that she did series of abortion during school days, she did not tell her hubby either before or after their wedding. They have spent fortune on medical expenses, tests etc. In the result of the last test carried out in June 2013, the doctor wrote "bilateral tubal blockage/ linear damage, several signs of instrumentation noticed". It was at this time that my friend confessed to have done 4 abortions in the past to her hubby. The last one I suspect was done by a quatck. She said her hubby became unusually cold and quiet at home since then.

There @bold, there's your friend's problem.

No matter what your past is, you should ALWAYS discuss it with your partner BEFORE the wedding. So many homes have been broken because of pre-marital dishonesty. Especially when it's something that can affect your partner in the long run such as infertility, viral diseases, etc.

It's not so much that your friend is infertile that is the problem but the fact she CHOSE not to confide in him before the wedding (or even after).

Granted that she didn't know that the last doctor did a poor job, she still should have opened up & if the guy truly loved he would have stayed. But as it is now, even if he truly loved her it is still more difficult.

Come to think of it, if the tables were turned would we be asking your friend to forgive her husband for not telling her (before the wedding) that he was impotent

So sorry for your friend.

What can she do? Nothing! She need to move on and focus on rebuilding herself, wont be easy but she must pick herself up quickly.

God is merciful and will show mercy if she ask.

Bilateral tubal blockage/linear damage, are we saying its the end of the road for this woman? Isn't there medical solution to this? Just asking.....

Damn


Dunno what to say


But she said 4 times?

Na lie jhor.

Two threads on this topic?

What exactly is so unusual about someone walking out of a marriage?

The ones who had wombs and the husbands still vanished, what are they supposed to say?

chaircover: Bellong what will they do? Infact how will they even say it?

Dear errrmmm there is something I need to tell you. . .

And realistically how many men will still go ahead and marry the woman? Will she keep on telling prospective suitors and they all run away for the rest of her life

The irony is that she didnt make herself pregnant and it was men that got her pregnant the 4 times, men sow their wild oats all over the place yet still want to marry untouched virgins. There are bound to be cockkups like this. Too many perpetrators and too many victims jare.

No matter how terrible someone's past is, there is always someone out there willing to live with it for the rest of his/her life. Some people do not care about the number of abortions or reckless life a lady had lived in the past, all they want is the honest truth prior to being deceived into the marriage. The knowledge will give a better preparation and idea on how to handle the consequences of her past. If she had declared I have had abortions in the past, the guy could have taken her to the hospital for medical check-up before the wedding. The fact of the matter is that it is not the abortions that actually broke the guy's heart but hiding it from him. Whether its a guy or a lady, no one gets away hiding such terrible history, a time of reckoning will surely come.

Yes, I agree that she didn't make herself pregnant but she was foolish and stupid to be pregnant four times. Fool me once, its a mistake but twice, am the fool. She got pregnant the first, second, third and fourth despite the availability of numerous contraceptives. She took the decision and she should be able to live with the consequences of it. Meanwhile, the act between her and the numerous guys was mutual. She enjoyed the pleasure too, infact I will not be surprised if she was the one that did the seduction sef.

PS: I have seen cases of men who willingly married their wives despite the ladies revealing they had a terrible abortion that cost them their wombs. Even God expect us to first confess our sins before we are forgiven.

I partly blame the guy too, he didn't do his home work very well. Information about ladies like this is more often than not an open source info. He would have had an idea of her past if he did his home work well. Emotions is never enough in taking decision

chaircover: I. Dont kmow anyone who will knowingly marry a runs girl who has done 4 abortions. Emphasis on the knowingly

I doubt anyone in my family would; love or no love

It may look difficult but there are those who would. The important thing to note is if she has changed to a better person.

I do agree that some things should not be said before being wedded but this one shouldn't be part of them. When air blows, fowl yansh go open and what the lady wanted to prevent would be worse than she can handle.