Juss a tickle !! Go on read …


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Lady: Is this my train?

Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.

Lady: Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi .
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.

~~~~~~
                           

A drunkard was brought to court.
            Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda."
         

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Customer   :  Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter       :  Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.

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Customer  :  Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter      :  Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer  :  No, I can't.
Waiter      :  Then does it really matter ?


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  Little Susie came running into the house after school one day,shouting,
"Daddy!  Daddy!  I got a 100 in school today!"
"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy.
"Come in to the living room and tell me about it."
"Well,"  began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math's and 20 in science."


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Customer  :  Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter      :  Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.


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Customer  :  Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter      :  That's all right sir, he won't drink much.


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Waiter      : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer  : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.
                                     

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1st thief     :  Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief    :  But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief     :  Hurry! this is no time for superstitions .

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Man  : How old is your father?
Boy  : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy  : He became a father only when I was born.



Customer  :  Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter      :   Funny?  But then why aren't you laughing?

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Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.

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An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'
'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
' How long has what been going on?' said the man.


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Girl    :  Do you love me?
Boy   :  Yes Dear.
Girl    : Would you die for me?
Boy   :  No, mine is undying love.
                   

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Wife           :  Do you want dinner?
Husband     :  Sure, what are my choices?
Wife           :  Yes and no.
                                       

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Customer      :   If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time?
Post Master   :  Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer      : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master   :  Why not?
Customer      :  It's addressed to Mumbai.
               

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!!, Trust You Had   Some Laughs, !!

A good laugh for a good digestion.Nice jokes Ayus

Nice jokes,they were quite funny.

nice copy from fun and fun only

Nice copy + paste

infobaba:

Nice copy + paste

Hmmm! Smart dude! How u take know? But u promised not to reveal to anybody that i didnt compose the jokes nah? _{Over sabi too dey worry some pple. wonder why some peeps would not learn}

~anusman dont mind those tatafo pple, I just did you a favor,. . . . I laughed

@ ben~jay

What are frds for

infobaba:

@ ben~jay

What are frds for

, and then u farted! You've just spoilt the C&P jokes!

^{comes in with air mask.}

~infobaba So na so you wan just kill me, and i thought i was your guy ??

The smell don make Infobaba run and deny u,

Letter from the Inside
An aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison, and he didn't know anyone who would spade up his potato garden.

The old man wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, "For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!"

At 4 A.M. the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns.

Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next.

His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."

Emergency Number
Shortly after the 911 emergency number became available, an elderly and quite ill lady appeared in a hospital emergency room, having driven herself to the hospital and barely managing to stagger in from the parking lot.

The horrified nurse said, "Why didn't you call the 911 number and get an ambulance?"

The lady said, "My phone doesn't have an eleven."

Philosophy Final
A student taking a philosophy class had a single question on his final: "What is courage?"

The student wrote: "This", signed it, and turned it in.

Romantic at Heart
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them.

He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing.

The man says "I’m sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?’"

"But why?" asks the man.

"I’m a divorce lawyer."

~LOL @ Emergency Number

ayusman16:

Emergency Number
Shortly after the 911 emergency number became available, an elderly and quite ill lady appeared in a hospital emergency room, having driven herself to the hospital and barely managing to stagger in from the parking lot.

The horrified nurse said, "Why didn't you call the 911 number and get an ambulance?"

The lady said, "My phone doesn't have an eleven."

LMAO

lmao cnt stop laffin, anus ayus ma man weldone jare

NICE JOKES ayusman

MADE MY DAY BRODA

@Ituen,

Thx bro

The 3rd Affair:

A mortician was working late one night.

He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!

"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician commented, "I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity."

So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.

"I have to show you something you won't believe," he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.

"My God!" the wife exclaimed, "Schwartz is dead?!?!"

The 4th Affair:

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.

"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner."

She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.

"Don't move until I tell you," she said. "Pretend you're a statue."

"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.

"Oh it's a statue." she replied. "The Smith's bought one and I liked it so much I got one for us, too."

No more was said, not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.

"Here," he said to the statue, "have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smith's and nobody offered me a damned thing."

lol

9ce jokes

ayusman16:



[size=14pt]"Here," he said to the statue, "have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smith's and nobody offered me a damned thing." [/size]

LMAO

Ayusman, u don dey carry 1997 jokes dey post again oh

Can u remember in 2002 when i told you to sop posting these jokes

Bros na so u wan carry shoot ur paddy for public? U know i be the C&P master

Laughter is GOOD for the heart; but too much laughter is BAD for the rib-muscles.
Anus - ehm, sorry - Ayusman, u shall now kneel down, raise your hands and close yours eyes until I feel otherwise. Your crime - making Ben-Jay to exceed his daily dosage of laughter.

Ayus baba

dont worry, dey PASTE dey GO. If u like, snap ur monitor and paste the pic for us to see the joke

ituen:

Ayus baba

don't worry, dey PASTE dey GO. If u like, snap your monitor and paste the pic for us to see the joke

LMAO

kay9:

Laughter is GOOD for the heart; but too much laughter is BAD for the rib-muscles.
Anus - ehm, sorry - Ayusman, u shall now kneel down, raise your hands and close yours eyes until I feel otherwise. Your crime - making Ben-Jay to exceed his daily dosage of laughter.

;d

*shakes head sadly and goes to get Ben-Jay's oxygen mask, thinking: the way the guy's been laughing, he's going to need it*

Oh, BTW, you can get up now Anus - kai, this your name sef! - Ayusman.

@Kay9

Na me u dey yab abi? No worry by the time u finish washing those plates would then give u anoda assignment to do. Akuya!