Ekaitte went to the store to buy a
parrot
trained in the USA and asks
the sales person;
"What's so special about this parrot ?"
Sales person says:
"This parrot is a genius and can answer
any
question"
Ekaitte asks the parrot;
"How do I look?"
The parrot replies;
"You look like a fuckin slut?"
Ekaitte gets pissed off and tells the
sales
person that its a very rude
parrot and she cannot buy it despite it
was trained in the USA.
The sales person tells Ekaitte to wait
for 2
mins...
The sales person takes the parrot to
the back
of the store and
shoves the parrot into a bucket of
water
and when he pulls the
parrot out he says;
"if you disrespect the lady out there
again
i'll soak you back in water" and takes
the
parrot back to the store.
Th sales person apologized to Ekaitte
and
says she can ask the
parrot another question.
Ekaitte: "If I come home with one
man
what would you think?" Parrot: "He's
your
husband"
Ekaitte: "Two men?"
Parrot: "Your husband and his brother"
Ekaitte: "Three men?"
Parrot: "Your husband, his brother and
your brother" Ekaitte: "Four men?"
At this time the Parrot turns to the
Sales
person and says:
"Bring back the bleeping bucket of
water
I already told you she's a
slut!!!"

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sucka

# lmao
Three business associates, an Igbo
man, a
Yoruba man and a Chinese man, went
to eat
lunch together at a restaurant in
Surulere.
While in the middle of their meal, a fly
came in
through the window. It flew across the
table
to where the Igbo man was but he
just
waved his hands to chase it away.
The fly then went to where the Yoruba
man
was, he also chased it away.
Finally, the fly then went to where the
Chinese
man was and was flying close to his
ears. The
Chinese man looked at the fly for
sometime
and then grabbed it, put it in his
mouth and
swallowed it.
The other men saw this but just kept
on
eating.
About Five minutes later, another fly
came in
and flew to the Yoruba man who just
chased
it away again.
It then flew on to the Igbo man but
this time
he did not chase the fly, he looked at
it for
sometime and then grabbed it. He
then
turned to the Chinese man and asked
"how
much you go buy am?"

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Musa reaches home late at night and
found
his wife and children
already in bed in their one room
apartment. Musa scratched the
back of his wife to get her attention. The
wife said "leave me alone, I don't want".
Musa's child Amina,
who had not slept
thought her mother was refusing some
suya meat said "Dad, if
my mother doesn't want it, give it to me".
If you were Musa what answer would you
give to the child?

A couple was invited to a swanky masked
Halloween Party. She got a terrible
headache and told her husband to go to
the party alone. He, being a devoted
husband, protested, but she argued and
said she was going to take some aspirin
and go to bed, and there was no need for
his good time to be spoiled by not going.
So he took his costume and away he
went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for about
an hour, awakened without pain; and, as
it was still early, decided to go to the
party after all. In as much as her husband
didn’t know what costume she’d be
wearing, she thought she’d have some fun
by watching her husband to see how he
acted when she wasn’t around.
She joined the party and soon spotted
her husband cavorting around on the
dance floor, dancing with every chick he
could, getting a little kiss here and a
warm squeeze there. His wife went up to
him and being rather seductive herself, he
left his current partner high and dry and
devoted his time to this new babe who
had just arrived.
She let him do whatever he wished,
naturally, since he was her
husband. Finally he whispered a little
proposition in her ear and she agreed, so
off they went to one of the cars and they
did it all!
Zowie! Just before unmasking at midnight,
she slipped away and went home, put the
costume away and got into bed,
wondering what kind of explanation he
would have for his behavior.
She was sitting up reading when he came
in. She asked how the evening had been?
He said “Oh, the same old thing. You
know, I never have a good time when
you’re not there.” Then she asked, “Did
you dance much?”
He replied, “You know, I didn’t dance
even one dance. When I got there, I met
Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so
we went into the den and played poker
all evening. But I’ll tell you…from what I
heard, the guy I loaned my costume to,
sure had a real good time!”

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Son:daddy,I fell in love & want to date
this
beautiful girl!”
Father: “That’s great son. Who is she?”
Son: “It’s Sandra, the neighbor’s
daughter”
Father: “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that.
I have to
tell u something son, but you must
promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is
actually your sister.”
The boy is naturally bummed out, but a
couple of
months later.
Son: “Daddy, I fell in love again n she is
even
hotter!”
Father: “That’s great son. Who is she?”
Son: “It’s Angela, the other neighbor’s
daughter.”
Father: “Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said
that.
Angela is also your sister.”
This went on couple of times and the son
was so
mad, he went straight to his mother
crying.
Son: “Mum, I am so mad at dad! I fell in
love with six girls but I can’t date any of
them because dad is
their father!”
The mother hugs him affectionately and
says:
“My love, you can date whoever you
want. Don’t
listen to him. He isn’t your father.
if you are the young boy what would you
do?
join love&laff>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

INCREDIBLE JOKE
A father passing by his son’s bedroom,
was astonished
to see the bed was nicely made, and
everything was picked up. Then, he saw
an envelope, propped up prominently on
the pillow. It was addressed,’Dad…..
With the worst premonition, he opened
the envelope and, with trembling hands,
read the letter…
“Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and
sorrow that I’m wr
iting you.I had to elope with my new
girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid
scene with Mum and you. I’ve been
finding real passion with Stacy, and she is
so nice, but I knew you would not
approve of her, because of all her
piercings, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle
clothes, and because she is so much older
than I am.
But it’s not only the passion, Dad. She’s
pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very
happy. She owns a trailer in the woods,
and
has a stack of firewood for the whole
winter. We share a dream of having many
more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that
marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone.
We’ll be growing it for ourselves, and
trading it
with the other people in the commune
for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we’ll pray that science
will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get
better. She sure deserves it!
Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15, and I know how
to take care of myself.
Someday, I’m sure we’ll be back to visit,
so you can get to know your many
grandchildren.
Love, your son, Joshua
PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m
over at Jason’s house. I just wanted to
remind you that there are worse things in
life than the school report that’s on the
kitchen table!!!!!!

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INCREDIBLE JOKE
A father passing by his son’s bedroom,
was astonished
to see the bed was nicely made, and
everything was picked up. Then, he saw
an envelope, propped up prominently on
the pillow. It was addressed,’Dad…..
With the worst premonition, he opened
the envelope and, with trembling hands,
read the letter…
“Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and
sorrow that I’m wr
iting you.I had to elope with my new
girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid
scene with Mum and you. I’ve been
finding real passion with Stacy, and she is
so nice, but I knew you would not
approve of her, because of all her
piercings, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle
clothes, and because she is so much older
than I am.
But it’s not only the passion, Dad. She’s
pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very
happy. She owns a trailer in the woods,
and
has a stack of firewood for the whole
winter. We share a dream of having many
more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that
marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone.
We’ll be growing it for ourselves, and
trading it
with the other people in the commune
for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we’ll pray that science
will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get
better. She sure deserves it!
Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15, and I know how
to take care of myself.
Someday, I’m sure we’ll be back to visit,
so you can get to know your many
grandchildren.
Love, your son, Joshua
PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m
over at Jason’s house. I just wanted to
remind you that there are worse things in
life than the school report that’s on the
kitchen table!!!!!!
courtsey:love&laff

i nid to know people are reading this before i will continue

join-love&laff

two rats dey argue abt who get sense pass.... the first one say me i dey on top trap dey dance azonto, the other one say cat pursue e no fit bite me,, abeg ooo wch of dem try pass

FUNNY JOKE
A secondary school geography teacher
went
to drink at a beer parlour after school
on
friday. His wife was at home waiting
for
himto come back as usual. Past 4pm
he's not
yet back, so the wife thought he is
staying for
evening class. 8pm he is not yet back
so the
wife became worried and alerted some
friends. They all went to the school to
find
everywhere empty. They called
theprincipal
and he said the man left for home
immediately after school. This made
the wife
to become more worried. It's now
11pm so
they went and reported to the police
who
joined in the search. At about 2:30pm,
they
found the man sitting at a corner,
awake and
not sleeping. They reached to him and
asked
why hehas refused to come home. He
called
them a bunch of illiterates..." you lack
knowledge in geography,.. since the
earth
rotates with everything in it, I decided
to sit
here and wait for my house"

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dont forget to like the page below, av gat funny jokes coming up next

Help4rmme2u: A couple was invited to a swanky masked
Halloween Party. She got a terrible
headache and told her husband to go to
the party alone. He, being a devoted
husband, protested, but she argued and
said she was going to take some aspirin
and go to bed, and there was no need for
his good time to be spoiled by not going.
So he took his costume and away he
went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for about
an hour, awakened without pain; and, as
it was still early, decided to go to the
party after all. In as much as her husband
didn’t know what costume she’d be
wearing, she thought she’d have some fun
by watching her husband to see how he
acted when she wasn’t around.
She joined the party and soon spotted
her husband cavorting around on the
dance floor, dancing with every chick he
could, getting a little kiss here and a
warm squeeze there. His wife went up to
him and being rather seductive herself, he
left his current partner high and dry and
devoted his time to this new babe who
had just arrived.
She let him do whatever he wished,
naturally, since he was her
husband. Finally he whispered a little
proposition in her ear and she agreed, so
off they went to one of the cars and they
did it all!
Zowie! Just before unmasking at midnight,
she slipped away and went home, put the
costume away and got into bed,
wondering what kind of explanation he
would have for his behavior.
She was sitting up reading when he came
in. She asked how the evening had been?
He said “Oh, the same old thing. You
know, I never have a good time when
you’re not there.” Then she asked, “Did
you dance much?”
He replied, “You know, I didn’t dance
even one dance. When I got there, I met
Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so
we went into the den and played poker
all evening. But I’ll tell you…from what I
heard, the guy I loaned my costume to,
sure had a real good time!”

*falls from a caterpiller*

fynest boi i dnt get uuu

(b)Lol(/b)

Akpos was having sex
with his mistress at
her house,when
suddenly thieves
broke in and he went
out of the house
running as fast as he
could to his house.
When he arrived, his wife asked, "why are
you naked?" ..He
replied,"well, i was
attacked by thieves
on my way home, they
took everything from
me". Wife: So why is a
condom on your
penis?... Akpos...well,
as a grown up man, i
couldn't run home
completely naked.
-the best nigerian jokes

Help4rmme2u: i nid to know people are reading this before i will continue

Me dey gbadun u jare!

Help4rmme2u: fynest boi i dnt get uuu

Are you a learner?

Help4rmme2u: i nid to know people are reading this before i will continue

We feeling you o. . .dah joke bawt costume party nah die o

U ar doing Gr8, please post more; can't wait

thanks pals m back, pls like the page below

P-square wont kill us with their lyrics ooo
I
was listening to their new song
PERSONALLY and i couldn't stop asking
myself which one be HABA HABATICALLY
again?? So now, nowatically, i want to ask
you to comment, commentically at these,
thesetically.. OYA - OYATICALLY LETS GO -
LETS GOTICALLY to be frank- frankatically,
the song is okay- okaytically, bt d lyrics no
mek sense- sensitically. anyways-
anywaytically, dey r makn their
moneytically by singing nonsensically

On the first day of their marriage, just to
enjoy more... wife and husband decided
and agreed not to open the door for
anyone! On that day first, husband’s
parents came to see them, they were
behind the door. Husband and the wife
looked at each other, husband wanted to
open the door, but since they had an
agreement he did not open the door, so
his parents left.
After a while the same day , wife’s
parents came , wife and the husband
looked at each other and even though
they had an agreement , wife with tears
on her eyes whispered , I can’t do this to
my parents , and she opened the door.
Husband did not say anything, years
passed and they had 2 boys and the third
child was a girl.
The father, planned a very big party for
the new born baby girl, and he invited
everyone over. Later that night his wife
asked him what was the reason for such a
big celebration for this baby while we did
not do it for the others!
The Husband simply replied,.....
......
......
.......
.......
........
.......
.....
because she is the one who will open the
door for me!
Daughters are always so special !!
.......
........
.......
.....
Share it, if you like it !

Armed robber: I will rape all of u!
Girls (crying): Rape us but please leave our
grandma out of it!
Grandma (shouting): Leave who out?:
idiot,
do u no when my husband died? Pls rape
all
of us my
dear

love&laff

JOB VACANCY: Ogba Zoo in Benin City,
Urgently needs someone to bath lions and
feed pythons.
Salary 400k. and play with
Tigers
Accommodation and feeding free +private
car.
Pls rebroadcast someone might
need this. Thanks....

courtsey-love&laff

don't forget to like the page below for more

Today a king was born to rule the world★★★★★it marked the beginning of hope for mankind★★★★★★★★★★let merry and also celeberate the reason for the season....★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★
Wishing all love&laff fan a merry x-mas and newyear in advance★★★★★★★★★★

Akpors read from cover to cover of his
book preparing for an examination,Akp
ors' father came into the room and
said''Make sure you pass your exams
or you forget that am your father,
Akpors replied"OK Dad"
5 hours later,Akpors is back from
school
Akpors' father:My son welcome,how
was your exam?
Akpors:Excuse me,do I know you?

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POLICE DEY READ
BIBLE……??!!
On Lagos-Ibadan express road, when a
Pastor met a team of policemen who,
quite
naturally, wanted 'something' from him.
Since he was not prepared to
play their games, they asked for his
papers and having combed through
everything
without any offence with which to nail
the 'stubborn' pastor, they now
asked him to open the bonnet of his
car.
A careful scrutiny of the engine number
against what was on paper revealed that
letter 'U' was written in such a way that
it could be mistaken for letter 'V'. That
was all the officer-in-charge needed to
shout "stolen vehicle!"
Sensing trouble, even when he knew he
committed no offence, the pastor called
the OC to say he was a priest to which
the officer replied :"Please, leave that
pastor thing...in any case, if you are
indeed a pastor, then you must have a
Bible in your car, bring it."
The Pastor did as was commanded after
which the officer now ordered:
"Please read Matthew 5:25-26 to me".
The incredulous Pastor opened to the
recommended passage and read:
"Settle matters quickly with your
adversary who is taking you to court. Do
it while you are still with him on the
way, or he may hand you over to a
judge, and the judge may hand you over
to the officer, and you may be thrown
into prison. I tell you the truth; you will
not get out until you have paid the last
penny."
The man of God quietly made an
"offering" of "just" N100 to his newly
found "preacher".
"End of service go in peace and argue no
more", said the OC.

-join love&laff

I'm not Nigerian
A Nigerian man living in Sweden decided
to marry a Swedish lady in order to be
legally certified via resident status...
but the lady was not aware of this. She
felt he really loved her. Anyway, seeing
that Nigerian men had a bad rap in that
particular part of Sweden, our chap
decided to lie to the lady. He told her
he was from Uganda.
Upon marriage, the lady came home
one day and informed our man that she
had just met another Swedish lady who
had married a Ugandan and they must
all have dinner together.
The Naija man was somewhat
perplexed, although not perceptibly,
and wondered how he'd get out of this
spot. He postponed and postponed until
he could do so no more.
Finally, the day came when they were to
have dinner. The other Swede came in
with her Ugandan husband and they all
sat at the table. Our Naija chappie was
very quiet. "My own don spoil today"
was all he could think.
The two Swedish ladies, wanting their
husbands to mingle, being from the
same homeland, asked them to speak
to each other. "Hey! It's not every day
you meet people from home.!" they
admonished.
Our Naija man, being a man of great
savvy, decided that he would just speak
Yoruba, and the guy would probably
assume he was from some part of
Uganda where they spoke a different
language. So looking across the table he
said: "Egbon Eko ni mi se? Ni bo lo ti ja
wa?" In Yoruba, this loosely translates
to: "I'm a Lagos man. Where did you
come from?" Remember, Lagos is a
state in Nigeria, and it used to be the
capital.
The fellow looked up at our friend. His
eyes lit up as he said: "Ah, bobo gan!
Omo Eko ni mi se! Omo Eko gan gan!" In
Yoruba, this loosely translates to "Hey
buddy! I'm a Lagos child. A REAL Lagos
child!"

-join love&laff

happy new year to all my followers

CRACK YOUR RIBS WITH THIS AKPOS
FUNNY JOKES
AKPOS IS A VERY FUNNY GUY THAT
MOST OF THE WEBSITE USE HIS NAME
AS A KIND OF CREATING JOKES FOR
PEOPLE TO LAUGH. SO I PRESENT TO
YOU AKPOS THE COMEDIAN
CONVERSATION BETWEEN AKPOS AND
HIS GIRL FRIEND JOY
JOY: honey do you still love me like
before?
Akpos: Yes love! My love for you will
never change.
joy: thats my honey. I want
you to buy me somthing.
Akpos: Just name it
joy: It's just one BB porsche.
Akpos: No problem. Just find
out the price and let me know.
joy: It's N350,000.
Akpos: Is it manual or authomatic? Is it
still in a good shape, as in the engine.
Have you checked the fuel consumption
too?
joy: Honey, its not a car oh, It's a
phone.
Akpos: Phone?!!!!!!!!! !!!!! that means it
will have a fridge, generator set, plasma
and a wardrobe, shey?
joy: Are you buying it or not?
Akpos: Please i am not oh! I can't!
joy: Helloooooo!
Akpos: Hiiiiiiiii!
joy: Dont even bother again.
I'will call Alhaji to get it for me this
evening.
Akpos: Better still, call Atiku, hewill be
faster.
joysad, cry): 'am goin to
delete you.
Akpos: Is your fone hanging? because I
have deleted you since you mentioned
porsche

Bro, keep em coming. I'm enjoying it!