Do you tell your spouse that you were a victim of incest or do you keep this to yourself?

How would you react if your husband/wife told you this?

what is "Incest"?

Incest is sexual activity between closely related persons (often within the immediate family) that is illegal or socially taboo. The type of sexual activity and the nature of the relationship between persons that constitutes a breach of law or social taboo vary with culture and jurisdiction.

The most frequently reported type of incest is father-daughter incest.[1] Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse[2] that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma, a trauma that often does serious and long-term psychological damage, especially in the case of parental incest.[3] Prevalence is difficult to generalize, but research has estimated 10-15% of the general population as having at least one incest experience, with less than 2% involving intercourse or attempted intercourse.[4] Among women, research by Russell (1986) and Wyatt (1985) has yielded estimates as high as twenty percent.[3]

Adults who were incestuously victimized by adults in their childhood often suffer from low self-esteem, difficulties in interpersonal relationships, and sexual dysfunction, and are at an extremely high risk of many mental disorders, including depression, anxiety, phobic avoidance reactions, somatoform disorder, substance abuse, borderline personality disorder, and complex post-traumatic stress disorder.[3][5][6]

Consensual mutually desired adult incest is very rare, found almost exclusively between kin who were separated early in life and therefore did not experience early association and the related development of the natural adaptation for incest avoidance.[2] Consensual incest between adults is criminalized in most countries, although it is seen by some as a victimless crime.[7]

Incest is sexual activity between family members of either sex and age, with or without consent (depending on local laws, especially age of consent). However, which family members constitute those covered by the incest prohibition is determined by the society in which the persons live. Some societies consider it to include only those who live in the same household, or who belong to the same clan or lineage; other societies consider it to include "blood relatives"; other societies further include those related by adoption or marriage.[8]

Most societies have some form of incest avoidance.[9][10] The incest taboo is and has been one of the most common of all cultural taboos, both in current nations and many past societies,[11] with legal penalties imposed in some jurisdictions. Most modern societies have legal or social restrictions on closely consanguineous marriages.[12] However, in some societies, such as that of Ancient Egypt, brother–sister, father–daughter, and mother–son relations were practiced among royalty.[13][14] In addition, the Balinese[15] and some Inuit tribes[16] have altogether different beliefs about what constitutes illegal and immoral incest.

It will never happen to me so therefore no need to worry about telling my man. Its just plain nasty.

Just as the shawty before me said, it wouldn't happen to me, EVER!!! and even if it did, there is no way in hell im telling a soul. It will go to the grave with me, and only My Savior will know my dirty little secret.

onyinye2:

Just as the shawty before me said, it wouldn't happen to me, EVER!!! and even if it did, there is no way in hell im telling a soul. It will go to the grave with me, and only My Savior will know my dirty little secret.

yeah what she said above !

what he does not know won't hurt him

Well, just hope that it wont happen to your child, and if it did, I hope you would hope that he or she tells you. But that is awful, and I don't know if I would tell my husband. I would have to really trust him and really know that he understands me.

Akinagirl:

Well, just hope that it wont happen to your child, and if it did, I hope you would hope that he or she tells you. But that is awful, and I don't know if I would tell my husband. I would have to really trust him and really know that he understands me.

huh? understand ke?

when it comes to their wife's men don't understand oh

Assuming it happens,i wont tell a soul .

lai lai,

some things are better left unsaid o!

it's better u free urself psychologically from the experience, and let it die.

i'm not sayin that spouses cant be trusted with secrets, but, what would he feel about ur family after u have told him?

see what's happening to Obasanjo's son and his ex-wife now.

i don't think telling ur spouse is wrong, it's depend on the understanding btw u. My girlfriend told me she was abused by a relative of hers while growing up. it made me respect her the more for trusting me with such important details of her life.

That's a nice one sistawoman.

the truth is that in as much as couples are not supposed to keep secrets from each other but the truth still remain that some things are better not said. what one does not know will not kill him. to start with it's a very shameful act and shouldnt be mentioned to anyone's hearing not to talk of one's spouse. we should be honest here and forget this issue of ""understanding"" from either spouse. everyone i belive knows what incest means and we all have our different perspective in terms of culture and all on that issue. so no man will hear of it and tell u he understands just like that.

if it should ever happen to me, well God knows i will not tell a soul. i will just make sure i obtain His mercy and forgiveness, the next step is to bury it and make sure that it never escalates for life, period.

Well diehard, it's not all men that will view it that way. i admire her guts and ur level of understanding sha.