No language spoken by man compares, in
universality, with body language. Not even
Chinese (Mandarin) spoken by the largest
number of humans on the surface of the
earth, does. Hausa, Igbo, Yoruba, Swahili,
Japanese, Bengali and Hindi sparring with
Arabic, English, French, Portuguese,
Russian and Spanish - the so-called
international auxiliary languages - are no
match for body language in a game of
universal versatility.
I had the rare privilege, as a 13-year-old many
years ago, of witnessing the enormous
message-registering power of body language in
the humble apartment of a neighbourhood
uncle with whom I shared mutual fondness.
His "tear-rubber" wife had sauntered into the
sitting room while I was savouring the
excitement of humour with him. Within 20
seconds, she had recited the line "honey, I'm
sure you know I love you" at least three times
as she fidgeted in different directions of the
room.
Then, without minding the little presence
disturbing their romantic peace, radiant smile
playing suggestively on her face, she lowered
her captivating athletic frame onto his laps
and delivered the bewitching line "e tie rerin"
as she rubbed the glittering wedding ring on
her index finger against his tingling nose.
Uncle and I understood what she recited in
English because we both spoke the language.
We also got the music she sang in Yoruba,
which meant "you are not even smiling!"
because we were both speakers. A non-speaker
would have needed to be a sorcerer to
decipher both. But without reaching for
sorcery, Uncle deciphered from her body
language that she was about to make a
financial demand. So he seized the next
available opportunity to sneak out of the
house.
And why not? He was well aware madam's
friend who visited earlier had come to sell to
her the idea of "aso ebi" uniform for a ladies'
club they had just formed. This was clearly a
problem he did not create. Why then should
he bear such burden especially with the cost
masquerading treacherously on the periphery
of two-thirds of his bloody civil servant salary?
Unfortunately for him, he would still have to
return home later: the day he slotted that
wedding ring into her inviting finger, he signed
up to confronting and solving problems he did
not create.
Similarly, the privileged Nigerian who was later
to become Uncle's president, Dr. Goodluck
Ebele Jonathan, the day he willingly took oath
of office after successfully seeking the people's
mandate, signed up to confronting challenges
and solving problems he did not create. His
Special Adviser on Media and Publicity, Dr.
Reuben Abati , though, might need the services
of a sorcerer to realize and admit this. So
much Abati's body language suggested to the
nation earlier in the year when the cry of the
national and international communities
heightened against the "kid glove" with which
the war on the monster that is mightier than,
and in fact is the promoter of Boko Haram,
was being fought. The long and short of his
defence then, in a newspaper interview, was
that " the Jonathan administration did not
create corruption in Nigeria ."
The Speaker of the House of Representatives,
Aminu Waziri Tambuwal , could not be credited
(or debited) with creating the problem either.
His body language, though, might suggest he
was only hiding in, and test-running his much-
speculated but yet-to-be-procured Armoured
Personnel Carrier (APC) when, recently, he
fired a deadly missile at the President. He had
carpeted Dr. Jonathan on this same issue of
concern for which the heart of the
international community bleeds for Nigeria.
But it is widely believed in the country that
the House which Tambuwal heads is as guilty
as the Presidency on the war (or lack of it)
against the canker which Malam Nuhu Ribadu
would describe as Nigeria's own terrorism.
Perhaps the hands of both institutions are tied
because most of the charges built around the
corruption monster, unlike in other climes, are
"unknown to law" in Nigeria. But not so in
China, for instance! Since taking charge of the
reins of state early 2013, President Xi Jinping
had described corruption as a threat to the
Communist Party's survival and vowed to go
after powerful "tigers" in the land.
Within the last four months alone, at least two
such "tigers" have been caged. Ousted
politician Bo Xilai was jailed for life in
September after he was found guilty of
corruption, bribe taking and abuse of power.
His appeal was rejected in October, barely a
month later, and his life sentence upheld. Also
in October, a state official, Ma Linxlang, was
sacked for "extravagant waste" after he spent
an estimated 1.6 million yuan (about 160,000
pounds - chicken change on Nigeria's free-for-
all corruption terrain) on a lavish three-day
wedding for his son.
Even from the Vatican, a senior German
Church leader tagged the "bishop of bling" by
the media was, in October, suspended over his
alleged lavish spending. Apparently, in those
climes and many such others around the
globe, the charges, even if unknown to law,
were known to man, and man, armed with the
requisite political will, made them known to
law.
This is a big national challenge to President
Jonathan whose political and media aides, in
doing their jobs, have successfully constituted
themselves into the main software component
powering his body language hardware. If the
duties of a leader anywhere in the world were
all about solving problems he created, there
would be no need for his services in the first
place. Nelson Mandela did not create the
problem of Apartheid. He was celebrated in
life and is also celebrated in death because,
putting his life on the line, he comprehensively
solved a monstrous humanity problem he did
not create.
Tambuwal and his colleagues in the National
Assembly would do the nation a world of good
with greater sincerity, commitment and
political will on their part in the prosecution
of any meaningful war on corruption. But the
buck, in the final analysis, stops at the desk of
the Commander-In-Chief. Nigerians probably
voted him into that position believing he would
be the most motivated to go after the local
"tigers" playing graft with the national
resources being produced in his home region.
His duty in the exalted position is to confront
challenges and solve problems he did not
create. That was, and is, his mandate.

Hahhahaahhahahaha! The Hangmen would soon reply based on the topic. I go just dey here dey observe. Merry christmas to you all.





Imm be like sey The Board of Directors of our Nairaland dey meeting. So therefore, there is no frontpage tins till midday