Good day all.

I started dating her in 09. I began talking marriage late 2010. I even broached the topic of her getting pregnant for me.

We had a bad fight January '11. We were trying to patch things up slowly when sometime around April we got talking on phone. I made a statement and then She told me She can Never marry me.

Since that day till this moment, She stopped taking my calls, She cut off all Contact. All efforts to reach her were met with silence.

I decided to move on.

But after some relationships, I realised I needed her back. I traced someone whom I felt could plead with her. This person wouldn't give me any info about her But I deduced from our conversation that my ex girlfriend was still single.

But what surprises me is the fact that at her age, She prefers to remain single than to come back to me. She doesnt even want to hear anything about me. This is a girl I loved so much. Am I so bad? This is 2014 and I need to get settled. I might just go for the available one, Since the desired is unavailable.

move on.its a matter of time,u l get someone better bt never ever make d available desireable if she doesnt desire u too .may u not regret in life

What was the bone of contention that caused the original break up? What statements did you utter to make her despise you so much? Without answers to these and some other questions, it's difficult to advise if you're that bad or not?

Passing Shot: What was the bone of contention that caused the original break up? What statements did you utter to make her despise you so much? Without answers to these and some other questions, it's difficult to advise if you're that bad or not?

Its better to be a living single than to marry a devil, or become a dead couple.

Please, MOVE ON!
The only reason you are DYING FOR HER is because she said GORRROHELL!!!
The moment she is back in your life and you KPANSH once or twice, GAME OVA again!

This na new year!
No begging for MONEY OR HONEY!!!

heavy g: Good day all.

I started dating her in 09. I began talking marriage late 2010. I even broached the topic of her getting pregnant for me.

We had a bad fight January '11. We were trying to patch things up slowly when sometime around April we got talking on phone. I made a statement and then She told me She can Never marry me.

Since that day till this moment, She stopped taking my calls, She cut off all Contact. All efforts to reach her were met with silence.

I decided to move on.

But after some relationships, I realised I needed her back. I traced someone whom I felt could plead with her. This person wouldn't give me any info about her But I deduced from our conversation that my ex girlfriend was still single.

But what surprises me is the fact that at her age, She prefers to remain single than to come back to me. She doesnt even want to hear anything about me. This is a girl I loved so much. Am I so bad? This is 2014 and I need to get settled. I might just go for the available one, Since the desired is unavailable.

why don´t u meet her one to one, face to face and put ur questions to her. If she still gives u negatives then go for the under dersired. But remember that no matter how u try to make such work, under desired rarely turns out to be desired and u may later regret not being patient

The girl has made her decision and moved on so you too do the same.abi babalawo join una 2 together ni

love my foot

Lamentation of a Confused fellow!!! THANK GOD and moveon....abi her punny tooo sweet ni??

@ OP ...You need to ask yourself....if you can put up with this kind of thing before you will go for her...Normally...I would have liked to hear the situation out before i will give my advice... My observation....

You are really in love with this lady and that is very commendable....If after all these years you still find that you miss her then indeed she is an asset....don't mind people that come here to advice you to leave her....many of them are wimps in real life...some of them would even have had nervous breakdown by now...

Secondly what did you really say to her? Was it a Chauvinistic remark or a derogatory remark?

Be frank to yourself. Are you really sorry about what you said or you just miss her..

you must find a way to reach her, anyway at all show her how truly sorry u are, and how after all dis years she is still d numba one in ur heart.u knw you guys can be dangerous atyms, so she mayb scared dat u wud revenge on her u have to prove otherwise

heavy g: I might just go for the available one, Since the desired is unavailable.

Cut the goose chase! you already answered yourself young man! However, let me give you a clue- I believe you are still under the supervision of your parents! Get a handwork, make money and see if this defiant girl wont come back speeding to you!

Thanks for all your answers and suggestions.

As to your question, I'll answer the best way I can.

Just like I said, there was a big fight in January. I sincerely begged for her forgiveness and we all moved on or so I thought. However, things were not the way they used to be. Before, if there was a place She was travelling to, she'd tell me. She let me know what She was doing per time. We'd have fights and make up and things would go back the way they were. It was a long distance relationship

After this fight however, even though She said she'd forgiven me, She was acting cold. sometimes I'd call and She would tell me She was in another state for a wedding. Yet, She didn't make any attempt to visit me. I was practically begging for her visit.

One day, I was forced to ask her why She was acting like this. That before, She used to tell me everything. She answered that it was better this way as I Never appreciated her openness.

I didn't say anything. So around April, when I saw that things did not change, I called her. I told her to let me know if She was in it for the long term. I want to get married But How do you propose to a cold, ever absent girlfriend? So I asked her not to waste my time, would She marry me or not?

She answered that I would have to change, that is the only way she'd marry me.

I told her there wasn't going to be any change that She would have to take Me as I am. At that time, working in one of the foremost Nigerian oil companies, I knew How many girls would give a finger to have me. Single, handsome guy with no responsibilities.


That was when she told me that in that case, She can't marry Me.

I angrily thanked her for wasting my time and dropped. After thinking things over, I called her severally that same night. I was ready to make things work and had talked out of anger and arrogance. But She Never picked. Up till today.

heavy g: Thanks for all your answers and suggestions.

As to your question, I'll answer the best way I can.

Just like I said, there was a big fight in January. I sincerely begged for her forgiveness and we all moved on or so I thought. However, things were not the way they used to be. Before, if there was a place She was travelling to, she'd tell me. She let me know what She was doing per time. We'd have fights and make up and things would go back the way they were. It was a long distance relationship

After this fight however, even though She said she'd forgiven me, She was acting cold. sometimes I'd call and She would tell me She was in another state for a wedding. Yet, She didn't make any attempt to visit me. I was practically begging for her visit.

One day, I was forced to ask her why She was acting like this. That before, She used to tell me everything. She answered that it was better this way as I Never appreciated her openness.

I didn't say anything. So around April, when I saw that things did not change, I called her. I told her to let me know if She was in it for the long term. I want to get married But How do you propose to a cold, ever absent girlfriend? So I asked her not to waste my time, would She marry me or not?

She answered that I would have to change, that is the only way she'd marry me.

I told her there wasn't going to be any change that She would have to take Me as I am. At that time, working in one of the foremost Nigerian oil companies, I knew How many girls would give a finger to have me. Single, handsome guy with no responsibilities.


That was when she told me that in that case, She can't marry Me.

I angrily thanked her for wasting my time and dropped. After thinking things over, I called her severally that same night. I was ready to make things work and had talked out of anger and arrogance. But She Never picked. Up till today.

You're mighty kidding, I swear. You're the hugest comic relief to have crossed over into 2014 this side of the Milkiy Way.

You wanted to ask for her hand in marriage, aka propose to her, and you said 'Will you marry me or not?' 'Or not' to drive what point home?

What's that noise you're making about not changing and she accepting you for who you are? Have you not read/heard that you fall for me, I fall for you, that's play? Please.

You're really joking.

Since you know plenty single girls will latch on to your 'oyel' money enriched pockets, why are you harrassing the poor aunty? Infact why are yo bothering us? You cannot change, you know many girl who would die to be in her place abi.

I'm happy she's told you to shove your chauvinistic, egotistic self down a sink hole.

Happy 2014, but this may not be your year for marriage. If you carry this attitude into marriage with one of your many girls, you'll still have to ask people here why marriage is hell for people who work in oil companies and can't change. You will see na. Shebi we're here.

Molly why na

.

One word: PRIDE.


I love that girl. She has self respect and values herself.

Men who think they are God's gift to humanity deserves to be treated this way.

Op leave her alone. Move on already but learn from your previous mistakes and dont ever let ego/pride take control of your life. Even those girls you think are potties in your hands will show you pepper when they start seeing the real you.

Please let me have her number, i really need to buy her a drink.

I love your ex-girlfriend!
No HOMO!
Msssccchhheeewwww

To answer ur question, yes, you're so bad! I cannot do a proud man either

She turns thirty this year. So you lot wouldn't mind her being single, huh? To prove what point exactly?

I have tried apologizing. Moreover, this happened nearly three years ago. No need trying to bite off my head.

Byvan and Aluta, you ladies are cracking me up!

heavy g:
I angrily thanked her for wasting my time and dropped. After thinking things over, I called her severally that same night. I was ready to make things work and had talked out of anger and arrogance. But She Never picked. Up till today.

Dang, she's cold!!

That's a lady with an extra special dose of self confidence, go getter attitude and laser focus right there! Once she makes up her mind, there's no going back.

OP, if I were you, I would take a vacation, travel to where she lives and give it one more shot at wooing her. As your new and improved self of course. If it doesn't work, cut your losses and wait for someone else you can love like her or even more.

heavy g: She turns thirty this year. So you lot wouldn't mind her being single, huh? To prove what point exactly?

You know what, I changed my mind. Please leave her alone.

Thanks.

^^
What is wrong with my statement?

@ OP you still didn't say what the fight was all about..

What does she want you to change?

When I was talking about the need for would be spouses to adjust themselves to flow with their partners in another thread, some people were running their mouths there...

@ OP it is not a lost course...maybe she thinks you are not genuine in your apologies to her.

Get somebody she absolutely respects to talk to her about your noble intentions...beg the person to invite her....and in the person's presence...make your pitch to her..

GOODLUCK!

heavy g: ^^
What is wrong with my statement?

So because she is turning 30 and she isn't yet married she should put up with an attitude she can't take. nonsense!!!!!!!!!

OP go hear am today

Awon ti ara n kon tele. They just found their 'victim' kaikaikai hahaha

Heavy G,
I guess I know your ex.......and if I am correct, she is my present girl.
She described you as rich, tall, handsome but ARROGANT. (Am I correct?)
The thing is that you lost a good girl because of your arrogance. A girl that doesn't care about your money. (SMH)
I'm planning on marrying her. Yes age may not be on her side but like mum said "God is the giver of children."
So you think because you have money, she will get pregnant for you? Your arrogance knows no limit. By the way she is on Nairaland and I will be showing her this thread.
NB
Stop asking your mum to invite her to your place, cos she ain't coming. Move on to other girls who you can snap your fingers at, and they will run to you.
Welcome to 2014, we will be sending Invites to you.

O ti oh

Nigeria is such a small place afterall. I've seen it ALL.

@heavy g,ademotors don carry ut babe.go find another.eni to lori o ni fila. ademotors pls invite us for d wedding

heavy g:
She turns thirty this year. So you lot wouldn't mind her being single, huh? To prove what point exactly?

I have tried apologizing. Moreover, this happened nearly three years ago. No need trying to bite off my head.

You don't even know her age? she is slightly above that age..... but know you that she is with a man that appreciates her.
Sorry, you can't have her again......

ademotors166: Heavy G,
I guess I know your ex.......and if I am correct, she is my present girl.
She described you as rich, tall, handsome but ARROGANT. (Am I correct?)
The thing is that you lost a good girl because of your arrogance. A girl that doesn't care about your money. (SMH)
I'm planning on marrying her. Yes age may not be on her side but like mum said "God is the giver of children."
So you think because you have money, she will get pregnant for you? Your arrogance knows no limit. By the way she is on Nairaland and I will be showing her this thread.
NB
Stop asking your mum to invite her to your place, cos she ain't coming. Move on to other girls who you can snap your fingers at, and they will run to you.
Welcome to 2014, we will be sending Invites to you.

Seriously or for play?

@ademotors

It is not yet time to shout victory. Afterall, you are not yet married, are you? If only She would allow me see her, I know I can make her see reasons we can be good together.

And don't dare bring my mum into this, OK? Yes, I told my mum to plead with her on my behalf. But my mum has Since decided to wash her hands off the whole issue when She saw She wasn't getting results. What's this bull story of my mum inviting her?

Please show her this thread. Maybe It's just what She needs to see I love and care for her alot.