One day a little girl came running into her house yelling,
"Mommy, I got five dollars!"
The mother was curious, so she asked her child where she
got the five dollars from.
The little girl replied, ''Tommy down the street gave me
five dollars for doing cartwheel while he sat in the tree.
The mother told her daughter, "Don't you know that
Tommy is just trying to see your panties."
''OOOOhhhh'' said the little girl.
The next day the little girl came running into the house
yelling, "Mommy, I got ten dollars. The mother asked,
"Where did you get the ten dollars from?"
The little girl replied, "Tommy down the street gave me ten
dollars for doing a cartwheel while he sat up in the tree
and laughed."
The mother replied, "Didn't I tell you that he is...''
Before the mother could finish, the little girl said, ''Wait
Mommy. I tricked him, I didn't wear any panties today.''

One weekend, the husband is in the bathroom shaving
when the kid he hired to mow his lawn, a local kid named
Bubba, comes in to pee. The husband slyly looks over and
is shocked at how immensely endowed Bubba is. He can't
help himself, and asks Bubba what his secret is.
"Well," says Bubba, "every night before I climb into bed
with a girl, I whack my penis on the bedpost three times. It
works, and it sure impresses the girls!"
The husband was excited at this easy suggestion and
decided to try it that very night. So before climbing into
bed with his wife, he took out his penis and whacked it
three times on the bedpost. His wife, half-asleep, said,
"Bubba? Is that you?"

Children in the backseat can cause accidents.
Accidents in the backseat can cause children.

A man rushes out of his wife's hospital room. "Doctor,
doctor -- my wife's been in a coma for several months,
but when I just touched her left breast, she sighed!"
"That's very encouraging," says the doctor. "Go back and
touch her right breast. See if she reacts."
A few minutes later, the man rushes out again: "Doctor,
she moaned!"
"Very good," says the doctor. "Now try MouthAction. She
should certainly react to that!"
Five minutes later, the man comes out back out, white as a
sheet. "Doctor -- she died."
"No! What happened?" the doctor exclaims.
"Well, doc," the man says tearfully, "she choked."

A trucker drives his fully loaded rig to the top of a steep hill
and starts down the other side when he notices a man and
a woman making love in the center of the road. He blows
his horn several times, but they don't budge. He slams on
his brakes and stops just inches from them.
Getting out of the cab, madder than hell, the trucker walks
to the couple, still in the road, and yells, "What the hell's
the matter with you two? Didn't you hear me blowing the
horn? You could've been killed!"
The man on the highway looks up and says, "Look, I was
coming, she was coming, and you were coming. You were
the only one with brakes."