It all depends on the situation in which i had to make the choice.

On my scale of preference, my wife and children comes first.

however, There are instances when i attend to my extended family needs before that of my wife.

For example, when my wifey needs me to buy her some expensive clothing, take her on an expensive outing or organise an expensive birthday bash for her or our child and my younger brother is at the verge of being thrown out of school cos he couldn't pay his fees, i'll surely pay his fees first.

Or my parent is lying critically ill in a hospital and treatment is denied him or her cos she couldn't afford the initial deposit, i'll surely ask my wife to wait.

Dat goes even for friends and people i'm meeting for the first time.

But don't get me wrong, if it's my wife's or children's school fees against that of an extended family member, then i'll pay my wife and children's own first.

Same thing goes for the "lying critically ill in a hospital" scenario.

In conclusion, it all depends on the basis of comparison.

Your extended family is important to you but when it comes to comparism with wife, no arguements.  You and your wife are one flesh and remember you cannot love another person than yourself.
 This does not mean that you forsake your parents and siblings. It is ur wife first.

Okija_juju:

In all situations my wife comes first.

has someone ever told u dat u a darling?

They are both very important to me. I can speak for myself. But there are others who have very bad wives, while some have very wrong relatives, It depends anyway. If you know the kind of family members you have, then you should know how to cope with them,

A man starts a new family that is formally nonexistence and for him to have a successful home he must focus more on this new family, and less on his extended family, he is responsible for the provision and protection of his wife and children, it is not your father and mother's responsibility, if you failed your parents will tell you that it is not their duty but yours, and that they work hard build their own family. Your children and the mother of your kids are your no 1 priority.

Fuc.k extended family

take centre stage jare my missus

Hi everybody in the house,

Man and woman will leave their families to cling to themselves and becomes one. And if a man loves his own flesh the same love should be applied to the wife, but if it happens that you love your family more than your self in that case your family will come first before your wife.

So, knowing fully well that your wife is part of your own body, makes it clear that she will be at the top before every other person will follow.

if u take your Wife more important than your Extended Family u need not to bear your Family Name

and the point is?

a wife should be more important, of course. i don't see why this is a debate. if you were fulfilled with the extended family, you wouldn't take a wife. LEAVE and CLEAVE.

For me, my wife comes first in every regards. Remember your extended family comprises of men and their wifes. women and their Husbands .So you and your wife is a small unit part of that family.If that small unit is not strong enough it collapses and your extended family is still there.But with you and your wife That small unit can grow to also be some one elses extended family. What am i saying,

Me
My Wife
My kids.
Others, including my parents

Roughlen:

It all depends on the situation in which i had to make the choice.

On my scale of preference, my wife and children comes first.

however, There are instances when i attend to my extended family needs before that of my wife.

For example, when my wifey needs me to buy her some expensive clothing, take her on an expensive outing or organise an expensive birthday bash for her or our child and my younger brother is at the verge of being thrown out of school because he couldn't pay his fees, i'll surely pay his fees first.

Or my parent is lying critically ill in a hospital and treatment is denied him or her because she couldn't afford the initial deposit, i'll surely ask my wife to wait.

Dat goes even for friends and people i'm meeting for the first time.

But don't get me wrong, if it's my wife's or children's school fees against that of an extended family member, then i'll pay my wife and children's own first.

Same thing goes for the "lying critically ill in a hospital" scenario.

In conclusion, it all depends on the basis of comparison.

Your have a point

NO MAN IS AN ISLAND UNTO HIMSELF.
BOTH ARE IMPORTANT AS THE OTHER. THEY REMAIN INSEPARABLE.

Wife must come first.

ur guy may disown u,likewisely ur chick may leaves u but ur family cannot say u are not part of their member what ever thing dat happen to you ,d/4 they are 2 parallel line dat cannot meet,just tactically,&carefully with the the wisdom of God act rationally between them

ideally my wife should come first, but we're not in an ideal world are we?

sly-k:

NO MAN IS AN ISLAND UNTO HIMSELF.
BOTH ARE IMPORTANT AS THE OTHER. THEY REMAIN INSEPARABLE.

both are important but

GOD

GOD

GOD

PARENT

ify2love2:

Wife must come first.

i disagre, PARENT first

babakuns:

your guy may disown u,likewisely your chick may leaves u but your family cannot say u are not part of their member what ever thing that happen to you ,d/4 they are 2 parallel line that cannot meet,just tactically,&carefully with the the wisdom of God act rationally between them

In addition, dad might disown u but mum will never and some member of the family

?!!!  I CHOOSE BOTH. your wife is just like your mother and how sucessful you become in life will mostly depends on her own happiness at home. "except you are a soldier"

Marketiva:

your wife is the key to your heart. you already made a vow on your wedding day that you will be one. thus that vow has taken over the place of your extended family making her the closest to you. remember if you are no more she will be the one to take care of whatever you left behind, i bet at that time none of your extended family will be around to help her.

She is your hearth, yes.
u made vow to luv her not to luv her than your Extended Family most especially your parent.
Big lie, than last sentence

BE IT YOUR WIFE OR EXTENDED FAMILY, I BELIEVED BOTH ARE IMPORTANT.

YOU CAN NEITHER  IGNORE YOUR WIFE NOR DISRESPECT YOUR EXTENDED FAMILY.  

A REASONABLE MAN MUST ENSURE THAT BRIDGE BETWEEN HIS WIFE AND EXTENDED IS FIRMLY CONNECTED TO AVOID SUSPICION, BITTERNESS AND CRISIS.

NO ONE CAN BE PLACED AT THE DETRIMENT OF OTHER.

A WORD IS ENOUGH FOR THE WISE.

It depends;

If my husband puts me first before his extended family, same to him. Otherwise, na in sabi

The problem with husband's relations is that they expect too much when there is
none. They no want hear say e no dey. hence they will want to fight the wife when
the brother cannot provide what they need. It happens even where the wife is the
bread winner, they will visit and expect VIP treatment.

hisssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. na them sabi

We need not 2 argue much about dc thread rather a matured nd responsible man will know hw 2 balance d 2 ends bcs both ur wife nd ur xtended fmly r complementry 2 ur success

ayobase:

the two go together ni oo.
the prayer should be
that your wife should be
the type that embraces
in-laws,or else,

I partially concur

PHEMOUR:

your wife is the key to your heart.

well what happens when your wife divorces you later, does that mean she would go with your heart??
i think some men here have not been properly handled by a woman in a negative way that you become a toy in her hands thats why they r ready to do away with their parents

well you dont knwo what you have until u loose it, when u mistakenly loose your parents then you would wish a lot of things you did to make them happy

wife - woman - etc, are replaceable but parents are not.

i absolutely concur

Gosh!

You guys don't get it!
The fact you choose to put your wife / husband first, does not mean you're doing away with your parents.

What on earth makes you think that?
If you choose to put your extended family before your wife / husband, does that mean you've done away with your spouse?

I respect both sides, but guys, don't give daft reasons for your choices.

phemour how old r u?im sure u is  still a kid

a wife can be a mother,sister,father,uncle ,girlfriend,lover and wife,a wifes place in her husbands life is unlimited,no limitation

a mothers place in her sons life is limited,she can be a mother to u,but she can't be your girlfriend,she can't be your lover,she can't be your wife

any mother that tells her son to make her his number 1 is a very foolish woman,yes i mean very foolish,because when her husband married her,he kept her as his number 1 and together they produced a child/children,so y shoudlnt she allow her son, put his wife as his number 1?

all of u saying mother ,mother ,mother,did your mother take her own mother to be her number 1?if she did,im very sure they(your mother and father) wouldnt be living together as man as wife

and i pray dat ur wives will make her extended family her priority,while she takes u (man) as her second best

obviously it is the wife. When a man marries, he leaves his father and mother's family to start his own family with his wife. The wife comes first alongside the kids she bore for him which is why they emphasize choosing a wife wisely.

janami:

obviously it is the wife. When a man marries, he leaves his father and mother's family to start his own family with his wife. The wife comes first alongside the kids she bore for him which is why they emphasize choosing a wife wisely.

abi ooooo


any man that puts his extended family before me should better go ask them to perform their wifely duties on him because im doing nothing

im not saying that a man should forget his family,no way,but the bible was clear,a mman shall leave his mother and father and cling to his wife both shall bcome 1,what other explanation do they need

yes his mother and father trained him ,took care of him and so on,no doubt,but she/he did all that for another woman to take over when d time comes,just d same way our grand parents made way for our parents to come together

im getting married in the next 3 month and im preparing for the change of level, i have to put my wife b4 anybody, i have to carry her along in all i have to do. A man should be able to balance btween ones wife and the parent!! love you parent but love more your wife becos she is part of you.[b][/b]

Remember, your extended family matters a lot in making your own family a reality, right from when you are planning to get married to your wife to the point of looking back and feel the sence of belonging to a lovely set of people right from the craddle.

NEVER love your wife alone but your extended family; Distribute love equally.
NEVER forsake your extended family for ANYTHING.

INSTEAD, MAKE YOUR WIFE PART OF THE EXTENDED FAMILY WITH LOTS OF LOVE IN RAMUFICATIONS.

royalicon:

INSTEAD, MAKE YOUR WIFE PART OF THE EXTENDED FAMILY WITH LOTS OF LOVE IN RAMUFICATIONS.

great idea but difficult to implement, some women before the marraige have a fighting attitude---- hmm i have to put my foot dow or else my husband people would take me for a ride,

unfortunately most young girls these days have this attitude, so integrating them into your family is a difficult as it sounds.

so tell me how do u integrate some one that came with a mind set of elimination- wipe out the family and me alone selfish me eat all that is available gather as much as i can for my children and me-- women

too bad