₦airaland Forum

Welcome, Guest: RegisterLoginWith GoogleTrendingRecentNew

Stats: 3,329,092 members, 8,438,785 topics. Date: Friday, 03 July 2026 at 11:10 PM

Toggle theme

Occupations - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumEntertainmentJokes EtcOccupations (1156 Views)

1 Reply

Occupations by robby1(op): 6:22pm On Jul 06, 2006
Accountant - Someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing.

Auditor - Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.

Banker - The fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. (Mark Twain)

Economist - An expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.

Statistician - Someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.

Actuary - Someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.

Programmer - Someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.

Mathematician - A blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn’t there.

Lawyer - A person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a “brief.”

Psychologist - A man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.

Schoolteacher - A disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children.

Consultant - Someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.

Diplomat - Someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Re: Occupations by desiree(f): 10:06pm On Jul 06, 2006
Banker - The fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. (Mark Twain)

Men!!! i agree with this one entirely grin grin grin
What about a Doc.??
Re: Occupations by Oracle(m): 10:20am On Jul 28, 2006
The Diplomat is some guy
1 Reply

A Foreigners Guide To Cool Nigerian OccupationsSome Occupations God Is Watching.add Urs234

september 6Ed Zachary DiseaseSecrets Of A Successful Marriage