AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) - Literature (3) - Nairaland
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"Nwa Aba Na City" (a Pidgin Story) / As E Dey Happen (pidgin Tory Wey Sweet Wella) / Man Wey Dey Reason (2) (3) (4)
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| Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Nobody: 7:46am On Jul 01, 2014 |
orirebaby: Sammy are you going to continue the story here? I don't think so. |
| Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Emanuel1997: 11:50am On Jul 01, 2014 |
akinkudin:i just dey enter d rum |
| Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Nobody: 8:57pm On Jul 02, 2014 |
orirebaby: Sammy are you going to continue the story here? Yes I shall...I'm just trying to find the next post...when I see it I post...now I'm back on Nairaland... |
| Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Nobody: 9:19pm On Jul 02, 2014 |
Sammy Hoe: Welcome back...patiently waiting for Titi n olagoke to get married two scammers |
| Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Nobody: 9:39pm On Jul 02, 2014 |
[b]continuation... Dem say na 285 be cut off mark. Me don kuku tidy cut off mark. Wet in remain nah? Wetin fit stop me from getting admission this year again? Post Jamb? Make I hear am. Post Jamb wey start 2005? Guy, na 2001 matter be this o. Me don enter Melecin dis year already, nothing fit stop me. I even go do testimony for church. Kon see how I just they jam tok for church. I just dey add things wey no happen so tey I tok say I do 3 months fasting and prayer for Mountain of Fire before the exam. Me wey neva step MFM dumult. As I dey tok tok up and down na im I go jamtok o. When my guy tell me say make I dey pray about admission na im I provoke o. "Uche, shut up your mouth! Wetin I need pray about wen be say I don beat cut off mark?" I yell on top my guy. "Chibuzor, na one dream I dream o. I dream say one bird dey drag your admission letter with you and the she bird finally succeed o. The thing chop am for mouth dey fly go." I laugh. E too funny. Na den I kon jamtok say, "Even if dem go heaven go do admission I go get am. Baba God sef nor fit stop me from having Melecin." To my surprise next day dem tok say dem don release admission list o. That time I still be novice for browsing. I carry Uche go cafe make im helep me check my status. To my surprise my name nor dey list. Which kind thing be this? Hot mess begin dey comot . I tell Uche say whether Na the Cafe no good. Uche tell me say I dey craze. Na so I see am o. Admission no show. Shame no go gree me stay Okija. Na travelling to Lasgidi go sure pass o. Make I go Unilag go rake for them there. As I reach Unilag them show me the new cut off mark. Na 1 mark remain make I meet am. The Prof. wey I meet there say nothing wey im fit do o, because him be don use him slot finish. Them give me Fishery later sha. "Who go do that kind course?" I laugh. Uncle tok say e better make I go meet fishermen for marina make them put me through before I go go for the course finally. "Tufiakwa!" I shouted. "Over my dead body." Since that time I no just show for village o. How I go take withstand the leering eyes of all those villagers wey think say true true I don enter school If den still see me around wetin dem go begin yarn? thrash? Walai Talai Lasgidi nor easy o. E never even reach 2 weeks before my uncle ask me say make I go find one work dey do to survive. Wen I dey village I think say na mansion Uncle Chike dey live ni o. Walahi if I no say Na face me I face you I for no come here at all.[/b] 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by DONMAYOR19(m): 10:06pm On Jul 02, 2014 |
www. . com. ng.....  1 Like |
| Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Nobody: 10:09pm On Jul 02, 2014 |
DONMAYOR19: www. . com. ng..... Did you visit the site? It's cool though. |
| Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by barackodam: 10:27pm On Jul 02, 2014 |
Sammy Hoe: continuation... LMAO 1 Like |
| Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by DONMAYOR19(m): 10:31pm On Jul 02, 2014 |
Sammy Hoe:sure is cool, I still sit down for there now self |
| Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Nobody: 10:34pm On Jul 02, 2014 |
DONMAYOR19: sure is cool, I still sit down for there now self Abi nah  Me jus like new things anyway |
| Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by JigsawKillah(m): 10:52pm On Jul 02, 2014 |
We R Gonna Go Back To The Top Soon! Seun Watch Out For Us! #EBIAG #HIP #AEDH SAW 1 Like |
| Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Nobody: 2:23am On Jul 03, 2014 |
[b] continuation... Since then na im I don become Lagosian. Which work I go fit do o? I ponder so tay na bus conductor my mind just they go. Na mile 2 my Uncle dey live Bad boys boku for there yanfun yanfun. If I tell one of them say I wan do conductor, e go fit arrange one motor give me nah. I hear say conductors dey make nothing less than 2K per day. Na Sule I go meet that time. The guy too like smoke. Me no like smoke at all. I nor know wetin den dey gain inside for this our hot weather. Sule get deep voice. Everything about Sule na soso deep deep. E get plenty deep cut for body; he like make e dey wear one deep blue dirty jacket. Sule na confirm conductor for Ketu-Ojota road. Sometimes he go also do Agbero-na swapping things o--one way nor enter market nah. Sule connect me with Omo Iko. Omo Iko worse pass Sule for appearance. Im ma na driver. Na im I go dey do conductor for. Na so I begin work with Omo Iko o. When I first start, shame nor dey gree me shout to call passenger inside bus, but when Omo Iko scolded me two times I begin wise. For start, me no dey get kanta with Omo Iko, but when he begin send me Cigar na im we begin get wahala. Me be brief am say me nor fit dey helep am buy Cigar because my religion nor support am. Omo Iko look my face laugh. "You no know anything," said Omo Iko. You know whether your pastors sef dey smoke for corner?" "E no fit possible egbon," I tell am. Omo Iko begin yarn me tori. He tell me about one ogbonge pastor wey dey follow them smoke for their cabal. I no believe the story. When Omo Iko wan use force take dey send me Cigar, I tell am say my mama nor go like am. Omo Iko ask me say whether na me wan go tell am. Na so I give myself brain kon dey helep am buy smoke o, because im be don clear me say if I nor fit do am then hin go tender my conductor 'sack letter'. Me no wan lose my job o. E beta make I use my sense now o. Omo Iko go dey smoke dey puff the smoke for my eyes. Hin go dey ask me whether me sef wan puff small. I clear am say I no fit do am. "Omo ole," hin go tok but me never know the meaning that time because na yoruba language hin take tok am. Omo Iko no really bad like that. Apart say hin dey smoke, hin no too too dey do bad bad things. I never hear Omo Iko dey insult people inside bus before. I go say na him be the most gentle driver wey I know. The single dey wey I follow Sule do conductor, I no fit count how many people hin abuse finish. As e dey abuse car owner na so hin go dey abuse okada riders. Even hin passengers no fit escape hin bad mouth. Na from Sule mouth I learn how den dey curse person 'olosi' and 'oloriburuku'. That time I nor know wetin dem mean. I don sabi tok am wella so tay I no fit stop again wen I later know say na big curse dem be. Omo Iko no dey tok them sha. I surprise say hin just gentle like that. How that kind thing take dey possible? With the way hin head even be sef, you go know say na confirm 'Omo ita' hin be. Omo Iko right face swell up pass hin left face. If you dey look Omo Iko from one side you go think say na only one cheek hin get, because the one wey swell up don cover the other side. Na 31 teeth hin kon get sef, meaning say den don use ogbonge blow pluck am comot before. How come hin kon cool like that? I just too dey inquisitive. I wan know wetin happen wey make Omo Iko gentle like that. Na Sule kon clear me for that matter later. He tell me say Omo Iko be confirm head of thugs before before for mushin. Na when e remain small wey hin wan lose hin life hin quit that kind life kpatakpata. I day like this nor go pass make me and those Yoruba people no get Kanta. Dem go kon worse matter say I be 'Omo nna'. Some old old mama go wan use their age ride me. Den go dey clear me say my grandfather no reach them for age. Before before, me no dey hear wetin dem dey tok, but as Sule don brief me small, I begin dey use idea carry the rest. Na one mama vex me one day. She dey call me 'olosi jatijati'. Na so I provoke call am witch. I don tok am finish before I realise say na born again I be. "Omo Iko, you know whether born again fit do driver and kondo successfully?" I asked. Omo Iko laugh. "Before nko. No be born again I be too?" I look Omo Iko from im head to toe. He ask why I dey look am like that. I clear am say him no be born again because I never see am enter church before. "Chibuzor, you funny. You nor know say I be born again moslem abi?" Na the first time wey I go hear say moslem sef dey born again be that. I never do kondo pass five months before I tok say I no wan do again. Na two times agbero don drag me come down bus beat me like say tomorrow nor dey, all because Omo Iko no wan stop give them their 'entitlement'. Now I kon dey reason am say Kondo no be my destiny. When one small girl slap me for inside bus one day kon tell me say I be smelling conductor, I be don clear Omo Iko say I nor do again. I be wan slap my own back that day but passengers nor allow me. I for teach am lesson wey she no go fit forget. I for let am no say na man dem create first before den kon remember woman. After six months I quit conductor work.[/b] |
| Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Nobody: 2:28am On Jul 03, 2014 |
[b]Tory continuation... No be say I purposely leave 'kondo' work o. Wet in make me stop na shame. Shame wey swallow me up wen I see Nkechi my school mate for Okija. She be passenger inside our bus, but me nor quick know say na her. Na wen I begin demand money from her she mention my name, Chibuzor. Shame nor gree me stay her front say I wan collect money; person wey still send letter to my uncle to ask me how my school Unilag dey. She be dey clear us say she choose Unilag for the Jamb wey she wan write. Wetin I go tell Nkechi say e happen to me? Abi make I clear am say na part-time I dey do for Unilag? After that day, I leave kondo job kon go apply for another Jamb. That time na only three days remain wey we go write the Jamb. I wan make sure say I enter that year, else, everybody for village go soon know say I be bloody liar. I write Jamb that year without reading. Na Melecin I still choose sha, because me never see reason wey I go go read another course wen no be my destined course. I nor fit think anything pass Melecin. Wetin concern me with Biochemistry, Microbiology and things like that wey some people dey advise me say make I kuku go for. Den tell me say I fit cross to another course of my choice for first year. When the Jamb result comot, I score 201. I no kuku prepare for ram. My friends wey prepare sef, no one among them get reach 200. Wetin kon be my own headache? But e sure me say I nor fit use this result enter school. Sadness wan kill me die. I give myself brain go change my course to Biochemistry. Laugh wan kill Seun die when I tell am say I be don go change my course to Biochemistry. " Sebi you dey do strong head before when I say make you choose Biochemistry. Now you see your life. You don waste money change am ," Seun said. "Shut up!" I give am straight. Me wey my eyes dey glow like glowing splinter for chemistry laboratory already, you wan kon complicate issue for me. When admission comot, I nor see my name inside. I nor fit laugh; I nor fit laugh. I just dey look like lucozade boost. Person wey see me for that mood go think say whether I don lose a family member. Funny enough, I see Nkechi name for Melecin that year. Na her first attempt be that. She get 273 and dem give am admission. Two times wen I get something like that, dem no give me admission o. I remember say my grand mama tell me say na doctor be my destiny. The woman say she don check my star. Now I begin laugh for my mind because me sure say na my last Jamb I don write so.[/b] 1 Like |
| Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Nobody: 2:35am On Jul 03, 2014 |
[b]Tory continuation... No be say I purposely leave 'kondo' work o. Wet in make me stop na shame. Shame wey swallow me up wen I see Nkechi my school mate for Okija. She be passenger inside our bus, but me nor quick know say na her. Na wen I begin demand money from her she mention my name, Chibuzor. Shame nor gree me stay her front say I wan collect money; person wey still send letter to my uncle to ask me how my school Unilag dey. She be dey clear us say she choose Unilag for the Jamb wey she wan write. Wetin I go tell Nkechi say e happen to me? Abi make I clear am say na part-time I dey do for Unilag? After that day, I leave kondo job kon go apply for another Jamb. That time na only three days remain wey we go write the Jamb. I wan make sure say I enter that year, else, everybody for village go soon know say I be bloody liar. I write Jamb that year without reading. Na Melecin I still choose sha, because me never see reason wey I go go read another course wen no be my destined course. I nor fit think anything pass Melecin. Wetin concern me with Biochemistry, Microbiology and things like that wey some people dey advise me say make I kuku go for. Den tell me say I fit cross to another course of my choice for first year. When the Jamb result comot, I score 201. I no kuku prepare for ram. My friends wey prepare sef, no one among them get reach 200. Wetin kon be my own headache? But e sure me say I nor fit use this result enter school. Sadness wan kill me die. I give myself brain go change my course to Biochemistry. Laugh wan kill Seun die when I tell am say I be don go change my course to Biochemistry. " Sebi you dey do strong head before when I say make you choose Biochemistry. Now you see your life. You don waste money change am ," Seun said. "Shut up!" I give am straight. Me wey my eyes dey glow like glowing splinter for chemistry laboratory already, you wan kon complicate issue for me. When admission comot, I nor see my name inside. I nor fit laugh; I nor fit cry. I just dey look like lucozade boost. Person wey see me for that mood go think say whether I don lose a family member. Funny enough, I see Nkechi name for Melecin that year. Na her first attempt be that. She get 273 and dem give am admission. Two times wen I get something like that, dem no give me admission o. I remember say my grand mama tell me say na doctor be my destiny. The woman say she don check my star. Now I begin laugh for my mind because me sure say na my last Jamb I don write so. I nor know why Jamb just dey frustrate person like that. Wetin dem want make person do sef? Which kind life be this? I do Jamb, Jamb jam me, I buy change of course form, them no consider me again. No wonder wey den dey call us Jambite because Jamb don bite us. I here say den still dey sell change of course form again na hin I reapply o. This time na fishery I choose; the thing wey den give me free of charge before wey I tok say I nor want two years ago. I for don dey learn fisherman work for Ikoyi that time sef; now fishery for be part of me. E be like say one ogbonge slap hit my face when list come out wey my name nor dey again. Sharply, I believe say my way nor be school way at all. Sebi grand mama say na doctor I go become(that one na for her title block mind o). Maybe na native doctor she mean sef wey I dey think say medical doctor. That one no hard nah! Sebi na to go become 'elewe Omo' customer kon they use herb. Na so I start to sell raw rice and beans for Oshodi o. I forget about school patapata... I don dey get eyes for ladies for sometimes now but wen I see Titi, I know say na she be the one for me. Na she kuku use her two legs waka enter my shop. She kon buy rice and beans. I swear I never see Nigeria girl wey light reach am. E remain small she for turn albino sef. I nor know the blacksmith (abi na whitesmith I go call am?) wey helep Titi set her white teeth o. Na wetin one of my teachers for secondary school dey call 'evenly distributed' be this. As Titi enter my shop that day na so my heart melt. "Excuse me," she talk. Her voice sieve enter my ear like oyinbo voice. The thing sweet die. "You wan buy market madam?" I ask am. "Yes, please how much's a plastic of rice?" Na her mouth I dey look. I don lost. "Don't you hear me?" na so she tok wey make me come back to .y sense. " Em, eh, madam nor vex," I tok. "Wet in you wan buy?" She look me kon smile. My head swell up. I don see something again. She get dimples sha! I too like that thing o, but me nor get am sha. "I mentioned it earlier," she tok. "Beans, one de rica abi?" When I tok so she laugh. Now I don see how she dey laugh too. I like the way she dey laugh. "Madam, walahi I like your laugh o," I tok. I nor no when that kind words comot for my mouth. Na so she frown face o. I like her frown sha. The thing just be like my own smile. Wetin make am laugh be say no be 1 de Rica she wan buy but 1 paint plastic. Wen she tok am, I dey happy say I dey hear her voice again. Now I kon begin do many many funny funny things for her front make her smile for no stop because of those dimples for her cheeks wey be like ripples of water wey dem just shake. I be wan ask her for her name but I nor know how I go ask. E go kuku better make I tell her my name first, then like the oyinbo, kon add 'And you?' 'I am Chibuzor," I try tok correct English. "And you." Titi look me from up to down with those eyes wey be like something wey dem decorate kon gum to her face. She kon tok say, "Well...I won't tell you my name sir." As she tok that sir, I vex clear am say I be young boy o. Why she go dey use sir for me nah? Wetin wan bring that one. E be like say she wan dey use strategy avoid closeness with her. "Abi na because say I get bear bear na im make you dey use Sir for me? I be Small boy o, aunty. Why--" She no let me land before she shout for my head say, "Who's your aunty? You better go and meet your aunty at home." I sell the rice give am kon dey click my leg for ground. Kai! And if to say I get money now, this girl for been good for wife material o. I scratch my h head when she begin go. I follow am like Twitter with my eyes reach where my eyes nor fit follow again. Now the first assignment na to get her name. Wetin fit be her name o. I begin write plenty, plenty names for paper whether if I choose one among them e fit be her name. But how I go confirm am sef? I write names like Bukunmi, Motola, Opeyemi and many other Yoruba female names reach like twenty, but I no go fit know which one be her name among them. For December 20, 2013 wey I enter GTB see am there na im my suspense about her name clear comot. Guess why? She dey among the staff wey dey collect deposit for counter. Her ID card wey she wear for neck na him give me Wetin I don dey find since: Titilayo Na blue color dem take write the name for the ID card. I first bone stay inside queue for where she dey. I been know already say na only deposit she been dey deal with that time, but because I wan make sure say we tok that day, na so I enta there o. At least I go fit tok with her well a wen e reach my turn. E remain make the person wey dey my front comet make I be first for queue, na exactly that time she kon comet go inside admin room. E pain me say she just comot like that. Abi she don see me ni? After two minutes, na him anoda person kon take her place o. This time around na one man wey hin face no dey smile at all. If I reach dis one front, hin go fit vex if I no tender the money wey I wan kon pay o. Best thing be sah make I waka commot for the queue o. Wetin make am laugh be say no be 1 de Rica she wan buy but 1 paint plastic. Wen she tok am, I dey happy say I dey hear her voice again. Now I kon begin do many many funny funny things for her front make her smile for no stop because of those dimples for her cheeks wey be like ripples of water wey dem just shake. I be wan ask her for her name but I nor know how I go ask. E go kuku better make I tell her my name first, then like the oyinbo, kon add 'And you?' 'I am Chibuzor," I try tok correct English. "And you." Titi look me from up to down with those eyes wey be like something wey dem decorate kon gum to her face. She kon tok say, "Well...I won't tell you my name sir." As she tok that sir, I vex clear am say I be young boy o. Why she go dey use sir for me nah? Wetin wan bring that one. E be like say she wan dey use strategy avoid closeness with her. "Abi na because say I get bear bear na im make you dey use Sir for me? I be Small boy o, aunty. Why--" She no let me land before she shout for my head say, "Who's your aunty? You better go and meet your aunty at home." I sell the rice give am kon dey click my leg for ground. Kai! And if to say I get money now, this girl for been good for wife material o. I scratch my h head when she begin go. I follow am like Twitter with my eyes reach where my eyes nor fit follow again. Now the first assignment na to get her name. Wetin fit be her name o. I begin write plenty, plenty names for paper whether if I choose one among them e fit be her name. But how I go confirm am sef? I write names like Bukunmi, Motola, Opeyemi and many other Yoruba female names reach like twenty, but I no go fit know which one be her name among them. For December 20, 2013 wey I enter GTB see am there na im my suspense about her name clear comot. Guess why? She dey among the staff wey dey collect deposit for counter. Her ID card wey she wear for neck na him give me Wetin I don dey find since: Titilayo Na blue color dem take write the name for the ID card. I first bone stay inside queue for where she dey. I been know already say na only deposit she been dey deal with that time, but because I wan make sure say we tok that day, na so I enta there o. At least I go fit tok with her wella wen e reach my turn. E remain make the person wey dey my front commot make I be first for queue, na exactly that time she kon comot go inside admin room. E pain me say she just comot like that. Abi she don see me ni? After two minutes, na him anoda person kon take her place o. This time around na one man wey hin face no dey smile at all. If I reach dis one front, hin go fit vex if I no tender the money wey I wan kon pay o. Best thing be sah make I waka commot for the queue o. [/b] 1 Like |
| Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by DONMAYOR19(m): 8:57am On Jul 03, 2014 |
Waitin patiently to when titi went to church to give testimony on her new love, why chiboy is there hoping to hear his name, but was surprise to hear the other titi name for fb.... |
| Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Profkomolafe(m): 11:21am On Jul 03, 2014 |
one day SURU wilL LERE... Watin for wat wil happen in the church when olegoke mount d pupit 2 show himself as the husband indeed |
| Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by JigsawKillah(m): 11:30am On Jul 03, 2014 |
DONMAYOR19: Waitin patiently to when titi went to church to give testimony on her new love, why chiboy is there hoping to hear his name, but was surprise to hear the other titi name for fb.... i nor read reach dat side before the blast sha na where he take ctch fb titi na in i end 1 Like |
| Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Nobody: 11:50am On Jul 03, 2014 |
JigsawKillah: Small small I go reach that side again |
| Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Nobody: 11:52am On Jul 03, 2014 |
Florbu I dey see you o  [b] I begin waka comot for that queue because I nor go fit face this man wey hin face strong kakaraka like Olumo Rock like this. Make I kuku dey waka comot for bank jare. Abi make I even summon courage ask them say I wan see am sef. But e fit turn to public disgrace o. E go beta make I dey go jare. As I enter inside the glass door na hin I see person wey jus waka pass for inside bank. No doubt na she waka so o, I tok for my mind. Anybody no tell me anything before I begin push the door make e no close finish. The thing even catch me for hand sef. I put am inside my mouth sha kon dey get ready to enta d automatic cylinder door again because first of all the thing be don eject me put for outside. "Wetin dis one dey find up and down?" Na so one old man tok o. Hin bear bear be like those people for 1000bc. I nor get hin time sha. When I enter again, she don disappear. Abi na mirage I see? Which kind thing kon be dis nah? Abi she dey hide her face for me ni. I go siddown they wait weda she go come outside again. I neva even use my buttock siddown finish when one man wey wear blue khaki kon dey question me. "Oga, you dey wait for somebody ni?" "Wetin concern you!" I give am straight. "The thing be say we no dey allow person wait inside bank, that is why." "Shay una don dey copy Wema bank sef abi?" I clear am sharp sharp. "I close my account because dem no dey allow person get rest of mind their--if you make call inside bank na sin...if you tok, na sin...if you siddown na sin..." "But our own no be like that oga. Sebi we dey allow people make call nah," the security man tell me. "Na even because of space we dey ask say make people go wait inside waiting room outside sef." "Wetin be waiting room? Shay na dat guard room u been dey call wetin room? Guy, nor tok am again make I no vex for you o. Over my dead body na hin I go enta dat kind place dey wait for person. That place wey be like police cell." The security man get stubborn head o. Im be no wan leave me alone o. Hin just stand for my front dey block my view. "Oga, you nor fit sit here like this," hin tok. "You know wetin town dey tok now abi? Na which day sef wey den discover bomb inside one bank wey dey town..." "Shay na GTB?" I ask am sharply. "God forbid!" hin tok quick quick. As we dey yarn go na hin anoda security man waka come meet us. I nor know wetin that one sef dey find up and down. "Wetin they happen for here?" "Nothing o," I quick tok. "Na your co security wan evacuate me comot seat o." "Oga, e take e easy pelu wa se e gbo?" that one dey yarn for yourba. I hear wetin hin tok but me wan pretend, so I tok say, "E be like say you nor dey see road well abi? I resemble yoloba for ya face?" The man look me release two red smile. Hin don bring my temper down with those smiles. Kai! Wetin I for do eh. The man kon put hin hand on top my shoulder kon dey speak softly for my ears say, "No be say we no wan do our customer well, but you know wetin town dey tok now, abi?" "Na true you tok," I tok inside shame as I kon get up, turn make I enter the glass door waka comot. Something just tell me say make I go join the queue again and na so I go join dey wait make I kuku do the withdrawal wey I really kon do jare. E never tey well well when them begin direct us wey we wan withdraw say make we follow one place go inside go withdraw. I for vex but because I be dey think say na opprtunity for me weda I go fit see Titi na hin make me follow them waka go the place wey den dey tok. To my surprise, na Titi siddown kule for the second chair wey dey front kon put computer for her front dey press am. My mind fly go up so tey I be wan fly queue go meet am immediately. I struggle go front small go dey fight for space but dat guy no dey read wink at all. "Oga, park well, I no know you!" the guy shout ontop my head. "You dey here before ni?" "You no even sabi do parole," I clear the guy kon begin waka dey go back my space. Hin tok say, "Parole ko, parole ni," but me just swallow am do like say I no hear. Now na to struggle get my place back because two old papa don kon join where I dey. I tell dem say na me dey there before, but dem tok say dem no meet me there before for yoruba. "O gbe aye wa latorun ni?" na so one of them tok. I understand am well. Hin dey tok for yoruba say shey I bring space come from heaven? I no tok, I just queue for their back dey except make queue reduce enter my turn. [/b] |
| Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Nobody: 11:53am On Jul 03, 2014 |
Mization and Florblu, I see una dey chop my food silently o |
| Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Mization(m): 11:55am On Jul 03, 2014 |
Sammy Hoe: Mization and Florblu, I see una dey chop my food silently oAm here for the first time(Litetature section) and I must say I've been missing a lot. I dey feel ur vibes. |
| Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Nobody: 12:05pm On Jul 03, 2014 |
Mization: Am here for the first time(Litetature section) and I must say I've been missing a lot. I dey feel ur vibes. Welcome to this section |
| Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Florblu(f): 12:05pm On Jul 03, 2014 |
Sammy Hoe: Mization and Florblu, I see una dey chop my food silently ou Your story tittled evrybody is a genius brot me here.u ar TALENTED!KIP IT CUMIN...... |
| Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Nobody: 12:06pm On Jul 03, 2014 |
Florblu: Thanks for d compliment...God bless you. |
| Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by dammygoody(m): 12:38pm On Jul 03, 2014 |
Interesting as usual.... Mr Talk2riel, it's been a while.. |
| Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Nobody: 10:40pm On Jul 03, 2014 |
[b] Oya make line kon begin move joor. Me wan give Titi one 'upper-cut' surprise. E go shock am if she just see me land kule for her front as if say I disappear come. E beta make I dey hide my face for ram till I go reach her front o, or else she go discover say I don come there kon waka comot as she do that time. Her sight dey sweet me for bele. If I fit just marry am everything wey dey do me don finish. I go carry am go anambara go wed am there. Bride price no kuku dey plenty for here as e dey for our side. Line begin reduce, my joy begin boku. She do say she wan comot for inside that four corner wood wey she siddon! Nor try am o! na so my mind begin tok. She stand up waka comot when be say she no kukuma hear wetin ny mind dey tok. She no tay at all when she come out carry plenty money enter her little confinement back dey continue wetin she dey do. One guy kon stay my side dey throw hand. I throway face! Who know am? Dem go say who born monkey? Na person born am nah! Na so I dey hear the guy dey whisper, "Guy, guy." I bone do like say no be me hin dey call. Wetin concern me there? Na so I begin hear tap ontop my shoulder o. Who be this guy gan wey no dey fear fa-ace? I dey ponder. Na so I turn face am sharply. "Wetin!" I do strong face for ram. "Guy make I join queue nah," hin tok jejely. "For where? Go enter for my back nah," I tell am. "Guy abeg, make I run enter do the thing sharp sharp nah!" As e tok say sharp sharp, I remember one film wey I watch 'Mr Sharp Sharp'. "Oga, no be here o," I tell am. "Why you dey do like this nah?" the guy begin dey talk. "You no be woman nah." "When then?" I tok. "Den no let me enter when me sef wan do this kine thing wey you dey do now. Go join queue joor. I no get your time again o bro," I tok kon bone face put for one side. The guy no comot for my matter o. I no know wetin hin wan die do for my side. Now I look my back, the line don long kon dey kolokolo like snake, na so I begin pity the guy, but person wey dey my back don know wetin we dey tok since, so e sure me die say the girl no go gree even if I say make the guy kon enter. She go say make hin enter for her back. Person wey dey her back go say same thing and so on and so forth until the guy go go meet himself for back gan gan gan. I begin put ibo brain inside the matter. If e go pay me in the end I go fit do am nah. I no mean say make hin lay me money o. Wetin I dey think be say if hin give me hin bank document, me go fit help am out, at least e go fit make me tay well for Titi front since she go dey treat two documents instead of only my own so our tok tok go fit boku well well. Oya nah make I see weda e go work. I tap the guy small hin respond well well. "Na deposit you wan do abi?" "Yes," hin tok softly. "Bring am!" I say kon look left right look left second time make I take see say dem no see me. Dem see me just troway face. Dem no just wan cause wahala ni o. If to say na withdrawal the guy wan kon do, the clinch for no click, but mean say na deposit, then nothing do us. Trust me, I look the money well see say e complete make e no kon become the case wey be say we go dey accuse each other of stealing o. If people for bank follow us hear that, dem go blame us join ni say we even get got take dey discuss our illegal transactions. E don reach my turn. Den tok say next, I bone that other woman kon ask the girl wey dey my back say make see go first. She too happy. Mouth don tear me to pieces put for parker put for dustbin for that small thing wey I do. I just run put my ear piece enter my ear before dem begin chop me. "Next!" Titi tok but I no hear because my earpiece dey inside my ear. But I get luck say person push me from back so tey I throway earpiece rush go stay for her front. [/b] 1 Like |
| Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Nobody: 10:41pm On Jul 03, 2014 |
[b]Who dey read this tory nah? If comments no flo for here make I kuku close thread down nah undecided. "Titi titi," I tok fondly. "Where do you know me?" she put up a frowny face. "Have we met before?" "Yes now," me wan try begin tok correct English now. "For that beke junction side that one mango tree dey," I no know when I end up dey yarn broken again. E no easy true true, English wey I no dey tok well when I even dey school, how I go fit tok am well now when be say I don komot school tay tay? "Beke?" she tok as if she never here 'beke' before. Beke na where some ibo boys like me dem dey sell their special cooked rice and beans. Dem no dey bother pick the beans and the rice dey swell up come out of pot so tey na cover of pot person go dey take guide the sides make wetin person wan gain for the rice no don pour down finish when person dey use stick turn am for fire. Those pots wey dem dey use cook fit contain one whole human being if hin fold well well enter. As in en, dem too big. "Yes, Beke shop that den dey eat inside for Egba street nah," I don fall enter pidgin again. Wetin man go do nah? "I can't get you, please bring your teller and let me attend to you," she begin show irritation for face. "Titilayo nah," I tok like say I dey sing am for mouth. "Oya, you sef think am. How I take know your name if we never meet before?" I tok as I dey give am teller. Na only my own teller I give am first make the whole process fit tey well well. "Look here," she show me her ID card take use fall my hand. I shame no be small. "Okay nah, you don catch me Titi, but you no remember my face true true? Na me sell plastic of rice and beans give you that day nah!" She smile her dimples come out suddenly kon clap her hands three times kon hiss. "Mo rogo o," she tok for yoruba. "E e e e," she do like say she dey yawn. She do my transaction finish give me two duplicate copies of the teller tok say next! "I have never finish," I blow big blunder. Some people laugh. Me no kuku know that time say na blunder I blow wey make dem dey laugh. I think say na the second teller wey I just comot for my pocket cause their laughter. "Take this one," I give am. She frown face when I give him. "So Titi, you don remember my face now?" I ask am. "That guy wey sell raw rice and beans give you that day wey ..." She no let me tok finish before she vex shout say, "I buy my foodstuffs from anybody so how do I know who is who? By the way young man, maintain your level and don't get yourself embarassed here okay? I don't know you, period!" "Yes ma, my Oga at the top!" I salute kon keep quiet till she finish the second transaction. [/b] 2 Likes |
| Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Nobody: 11:01pm On Jul 03, 2014 |
[b]Who dey here? In Mark town's modern pidgin English: Lem don set o grin Oya, make we chao Na so I do my transaction finish begin they waka comot bank hall. Chai! Chai! Chai! Na so person dey deny person? I begim think. Well sha, Peter sef deny hin Lord nah, so no be new thing under the earth nah. I think so tey I begin they tok for my mind say Titi no really worth person wey person go wan die put for her head nah! Ijeoma for my village fine pass am sef, why I go kon begin give myself headache ontop woman matter? Me wan marry am ni, no be say I wan play am like ball. Na wetin people like am no go understand be that. Na opportunity sef, big opportunity say Ibo guy wan marry Yoruba lady, I begin dey think am for my mind. Instead make she jump put for ogbonge opportunity like that, she dey do yanga. Na that song wey oga Lagabaja sing that year dey dey at work now. I happy say I don sabi Yoruba now. When hin firsyt sing am me no understand one thing inside: Instead wey she suppose marry person like me wey go treat am with care like breakable egg, hin wan go marry person wey dey win award for lawn Tennis like Roger Federer I don tok am, I no dey interested again. No be everything wey dey shine go be my own. I remember last two years, 2012, na so I wan begin die ontop another girl matter until I found out say hin done marry already sef. Me dey always fear say girls dey run from me. Abi na because I nor take up that 'dibia' wey my grandparents predict say na my destiny? Well sha, no qualm. One day my own go jam me, at least for now I still be 27 years. I still get time. This university wey I no go dey really give me big concern o. And if to say I be graduate now, na this same Titi go begin dey find me about titititi o o o o o! Kai, money na power o. The thing too dey command respect abeg. Who for know say Solo get sense if hin no rich join am? Nobody go know you say you get sense if dem no see you inside big Morano , I begin dey reason. Abi how many talents wey don die rotten because dem no get sponsor mey den take explode wetin dey their head? Mtchew! I balance for inside my shop dey sell my beans and rice go, awaiting who go be my first customer for the day. Me don determine say, whoever he be, me go give am 'jala' abi na jara den dey call am. Make I kuku tok say 'eni' abi 'fisi' before my front teeth comot leave my rear teeth lonely inside my mouth. I never settle well well wen I begin see one vague figure dey approach my shop. The face begin make sense for my eyes. I clear my eyes dey begin look on. "Wetin I dey see? No be Titi be dis wey dey come so?" I tok put one hand over my face make sun no enter my eyes so I go fit see who e be clearly. "Na her joor!" I begin argue with myself.[/b] 2 Likes |
| Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Nobody: 11:03pm On Jul 03, 2014 |
[b]Titi just waka enter my shop as if say she nor know wetin dey at stake. "Who's here?" she tok. Me don kuku put my face ontop one of those big tables wey I put my rice and beans dey do like say I dey sleep. If she serious she suppose tap me for back make I wake up nah. Me go like make she tap me o. At least I go fit feel whether her palms na the ajebo type abi na ajepako own. Na so I remain dey wait make she wake me up o. She begin bang the table wey I put my head o. I no shake at all. "Which kind of sleep is this?" na so I hear am tok o. "O ga o," she add join. Me don dey imagine how my wedding with am go be for future wey dey near so tey e fit be tomorrow sef. Chai! Me go spend everything wey I get take cater for ram o. Now as she come here, e don beta for me be dat. God don butter my toast bread. Something tell me say make I even raise my head now sef, else she go just waka comot when I no answer ram. True true Titi don waka go far o. Chai! "Hey! Hey! Customer!" I begin shout. She hear my name kon begin dey waka come. "I thought you were sleeping before, that's why..." she stop suddenly. She don recognise my face. "Are you not the guy I saw in bank?" she tok like say person don release fart put for air. "Yes nah!" I reply am. "You kon do say you don't know me abi?" "Sincerely I didn't know it's you," she tok. "You know I've got a lot of you I buy my stuff from." "Okay nah, wetin you wan buy?" "Em...actually, I...I, em..." she begin dey stammer. My eyeballs begin dey bounce up, down, up, down for inside hin socket like basketball. Wetin she wan tok nah?" She begin dey look here and there like person wey den pursue come. "Em...actually I just need your favour, that's all." "Favour? Ask nah! Which kind favour I nor go fit do fine girl like you nah?" I wan near am but she step back. "I paid a customer in excess yesterday in the bank and I have to replace the loss with my personal money," she tok. "I am broke now, huh, you know I paid #30,000 to balance the transactions." My body begin shake. Na tight corner this girl wan put me so o. Money wey I don dey gather make I take flex christmas and new year dey with me o, but this girl wan kon collect am? I be ibo boy nah, I nor fit play with money. Ibo no dey do mistake wen money matter carry waka come. Wait o! Hope say this Titi no kon tempt me for here o. "So, what you think say I can do?" I ask am. "Em...if I can just get like fifteen thousand or twenty thousand from you, I'd be okay. I'm not saying you should give me free of charge but if you can just borrow me till January, I'll give you back. I'm broke for christ sake." Hmm!" I breathe one kind breath wey strong like say I wan breathe my life comot. "Can you help or I should go another place?" I no wan lose Titi. As something don kon tie us together now, e fit be say na my prayers dey answer small small o. Okay nah, I know wetin I go do. "See baby, I no really get much on me. But wetin I get I fit dash you, you hear. I dey come." Na so I enter inside shop well well dey find my purse. I dey use style peep dey see how Titi just dey eager there dey scrub her palms together. E be like say she dey thank her stars for there ni. Okay nah. I come out give am small change. Na 3k my mind tok say make I give am. Shr collect am, look am kon count am say, "3,000 naira?" "Yes," I smile. "I dash you ni o." "I know," she tok. I shock. She never even thank me at all at all. She just put the thing inside her purse turn as if she wan dey go. She kon turn back last last say, "Chibuzor abi wetin be your name sef? Three thousand no fit buy love o. Anyway sha, thank you well well," she wink kon smile on top. Yeeh! As she turn, I put my two hands on top my head. So na form Titi don dey form since as if say she nor sabi speak pidgin. Na wa o! But that smile wey she drop na one kind charm o. Abi she put juju rub her face ni? My love for ram don even begin strong pass before sef. Oya na, she don add me put for her scale of preference be dat nah. Na make I kon continue wetin I don start be that since she don use her own mouth start am. [/b] 1 Like |
| Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by bercarray(m): 11:20pm On Jul 03, 2014 |
still on surulere o,cos i know say one day e go reach wier i read am b4 dz startn over again 1 Like |
| Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by JigsawKillah(m): 11:20pm On Jul 03, 2014 |
Welcome Back Chibuzor aka Mugu1 lol Gud Evening Ladies N Gentlemen SAW |
| Re: AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) by Nobody: 11:53pm On Jul 03, 2014 |
bercarray: still on surulere o,cos i know say one day e go reach wier i read am b4 dz startn over again I pray o...make we just believe say we go fit recover all.. piece by piece...in fact e nor easy...where Google cache fail, na Yahoo cache make up for it o...I go still try mamma search engine in case the two popular ones failed me...pls suggest more search engines for me... |
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