Dear Professor Sir



You look at me with scorn as I dust your shoes.
You point out to me they are Italian leather and not the made-in-onitsha shoes I wear.
You tell your other professor friends that I am your "boy" as if u were Jaja of Opobo parading me for an auction.
You yell at me if your 10-year old daughter spills water on herself while watching Nickelodeon.
You think you're better than me just because you wear Armani loafers, eat Graham crackers, schooled in Harvard and once dined with Robert Ludlum.
You discuss your plans with Nuru the driver and listen to his advice because he went to the University for three semesters before he dropped out, while I have only an Higher National Diploma after a five-year course.
You never allow me to help your teen son with his science assignments and make excuses when he fails or blame it on the teacher if he refuses to take your bribe.
You have over a hundred books in your study and you decieve yourself that your children in the university read them though you know, they don't.
You never say anything when your wife calls me an illiterate, even though Professor Soyinka once commended me on my diction at a visit to your house.
You sit in your big armchair, in your study, conducting little psychological experiments on me, while I smile and act as if I don't recognise your poor use of positive and negative reinforcement.
You never miss an opportunity to bring me down and speak to me as if its my fault that I was never taught by a professor.

But professor sir, I would have loved to be taught by a professor. I would never have poked fun at you in class and I would have hung onto your every word. I would have written and read everything till I memorise it in my head. I would have loved to go to a university but its not my fault that UTME is a mess and my parents could not afford to send me to Babcock or Convenant University. I would have loved to tell you about how my parents struggled to send me to school. I would have loved to tell you about the fire that razed our house to the ground and burnt all my credentials after labouring in school. I would have loved to tell you how the pain killed both my parents. I would have loved to tell you about unfulfilled promises by rich relatives. I would love to see the look on your face when I tell you I took my job to pay for my brothers' tuition and they are both honors students.

You think you are smarter than me but I think not. If you were you would know Nuru has been sleeping with your wife for years and your 10year old girl has his nose and eyes.
You would know that your generation has failed mine and we don't have the opportunities you had because you only care about yourself.
You would know that your 14year old boy has dyslexia and you're beginning to have symptoms of Parkinson's disease.

But you're not, your IQ is only 145 and mine is 153

P.S thanks for letting me use your laptop to take my IQ tests by the way.or rather, thanks for leaving it on so I could use it when u were away.