When a man is looking for a wife, he bypasses
women of different shapes and sizes to choose a
wife.

But soon after childbirth, many women
hide under the excuse of childbirth to let go of
themselves. Many stop bothering about their
looks, shape, dressing, etc.

Within 5 years of marriage, people start wondering if the wife is the man's aunt, even though she is 7 years
younger. Her defence is that if he truly loves her,
he should love her the way she is.

But when looking for a wife, he saw people like the present YOU and ignored them and settled for the
former YOU. Today, you go to bed smelling of
onions and ogiri.

You go to bed wearing grandmothers' clothes.

Why are you playing with your marriage?

Love is not about looks - we know. But looks enhance love and marriage.

There is a difference between someone disfiguring herself and the person being disfigured by an accident.

Please don't be complacent. As hard as it may be, work on looking like you were when he first saw you and began the chase. # jorr tori Olorun

People should never stop taking care of themselves but why don't you give the same advice to men who become fat and unsporty EVEN without having to go through a pregnancy?

carefreewannabe: People should never stop taking care of themselves but why don't you give the same advice to men who become fat and unsporty EVEN without having to go through a pregnancy?

I agree with you that it goes both ways. But its more rampart with the women folks.

Oh No. Here we go again!! 'Another advice to the ladies' thread.

Seriously your post has little or nothing to do with the cause of infidelity, most wives looks better than their husband's concubine. You can hardly tell married women from single women these days, both look absolutely good to go.

Fantasywrita: When a man is looking for a wife, he bypasses
women of different shapes and sizes to choose a
wife.
But soon after childbirth, many women
hide under the excuse of childbirth to let go of
themselves. Many stop bothering about their
looks, shape, dressing, etc.
Within 5 years of marriage, people start wondering if the wife is the man's aunt, even though she is 7 years
younger. Her defence is that if he truly loves her,
he should love her the way she is.
But when looking for a wife, he saw people like the present YOU and ignored them and settled for the
former YOU. Today, you go to bed smelling of
onions and ogiri.
You go to bed wearing grandmothers' clothes.
Why are you playing with your marriage?
Love is not about looks - we know. But looks enhance love and marriage.
There is a difference between someone disfiguring herself and the person being disfigured by an accident.
Please don't be complacent. As hard as it may be, work on looking like you were when he first saw you and began the chase. # jorr tori Olorun

A man who wants to cheat on his wife will do so, irrespective of whether she looks like the fabled Greek goddesses or not - so your point is moot.

Secondly, do women alone age? Don't the men age with time? You write about women letting themselves go but what about the men? Especially those that go bald after a few years of marriage. Did the Mrs not see better looking guys before agreeing to walk down the aisle with him? So when the sands of time (age) take their toll on him, should she leave him too, knowing that "as hard as it may be, he ought to be working on looking like he did when she first met him and agreed to be chased"?

Efemenaxy1:

A man who wants to cheat on his wife will do so, irrespective of whether she looks like the fabled Greek goddesses or not - so your point is moot.

Secondly, do women alone age? Don't the men age with time? You write about women letting themselves go but what about the men? Especially those that go bald after a few years of marriage. Did the Mrs not see better looking guys before agreeing to walk down the aisle with him? So when the sands of time (age) take their toll on him, should she leave him too, knowing that "as hard as it may be, he ought to be working on looking like he did when she first met him and agreed to be chased"?

okay maybe u didn't get the point. Its not about aging plus men going bald comes due to some mostly uncontrollable circumstances.

Its about some of them not taking care of themselves after marriage and child birth. I don't know if u get my point..

Men r guilty as well, that I also agree upon.

Fantasywrita:

okay maybe u didn't get the point. Its not about aging plus men going bald comes due to some mostly uncontrollable circumstances.

Kindly define "uncontrollable substances".

You do know that going bald is part of the aging process for some men?

Fantasywrita: Its about some of them not taking care of themselves after marriage and child birth. I don't know if u get my point..

Pregnancy and child birth take their toll on the body inasmuch as the aging process too. So what exactly is your point? If you're going to insist that the women look exactly as they were before childbirth and marriage, it's only fair that the men look the same as they did whilst dating, if not younger and fitter than before.

Fantasywrita: Men r guilty as well, that I also agree upon.

Good.

Efe, when people start taking care of the first elderly people in their family who due to old age become sick and sicker, they will realise that a few kilos here or there are not what a marriage is all about. When these people will experience what it means to take care of the old and the young in their families, they will have other concerns than looks.

I am someone who always recommends that people take care of themselves, physically and mentally BUT there are times in one's life when looks are AT BEST secondary.

carefreewannabe: Efe, when people start taking care of the first elderly people in their family who due to old age become sick and sicker, they will realise that a few kilos here or there are not what a marriage is all about. When these people will experience what it means to take care of the old and the young in their families, they will have other concerns than looks.

I am someone who always recommends that people take care of themselves, physically and mentally BUT there are times in one's life when looks are AT BEST secondary.

Agreed.

But that aside, these guys yelling about women losing their looks post childbirth should start taking a dose of their own medicine. It's infuriating to read about a middle aged bald man with a pot belly and man bööbs insist on his overworked wife running her job / business plus caring for him and his kids, their home (probably doing all the domestic chores herself whilst he watches footie like a couch potatoe) to still look like little more than a teenager.

Efemenaxy1:

Agreed.

But that aside, these guys yelling about women losing their looks post childbirth should start taking a dose of their own medicine. It's infuriating to read about a middle aged bald man with a pot belly and man bööbs insist on his overworked wife running her job / business plus caring for him and his kids, their home (probably doing all the domestic chores herself whilst he watches footie like a couch potatoe) to still look like little more than a teenager.

They will tell you that women are not visual, like we do not have two eyes in our skull too.

^^ They get away with making the flimisiest excuses because these women let them.

Suffering in silence stuff whilst the old cooking pot calls the electric kettle black.

Efemenaxy1:

Agreed.

But that aside, these guys yelling about women losing their looks post childbirth should start taking a dose of their own medicine. It's infuriating to read about a middle aged bald man with a pot belly and man bööbs insist on his overworked wife running her job / business plus caring for him and his kids, their home (probably doing all the domestic chores herself whilst he watches footie like a couch potatoe) to still look like little more than a teenager.

It's beyond annoying .

Efemenaxy1:

Kindly define "uncontrollable substances".

You do know that going bald is part of the aging process for some men?



Pregnancy and child birth take their toll on the body inasmuch as the aging process too. So what exactly is your point? If you're going to insist that the women look exactly as they were before childbirth and marriage, it's only fair that the men look the same as they did whilst dating, if not younger and fitter than before.



Good.

Look at the main point... its not about them aging but about taking care of themselves even as they age.

Many stop bothering about their looks, shape, dressing, etc.

Today, you go to bed smelling of onions and ogiri.

You go to bed wearing grandmothers' clothes.

carefreewannabe: Efe, when people start taking care of the first elderly people in their family who due to old age become sick and sicker, they will realise that a few kilos here or there are not what a marriage is all about. When these people will experience what it means to take care of the old and the young in their families, they will have other concerns than looks.

I am someone who always recommends that people take care of themselves, physically and mentally BUT there are times in one's life when looks are AT BEST secondary.

I think u r all missing the point here. We are talking about the over all well being not just the looks and kilos. I know a woman who looks older than her elder sis just because she doesn't take care of herself since her marriage....she's growing grey hairs while her elder sis has none.

And her husband has been threatening to get a new wife... I know this cos a friend stays directly opposite them. And when they fight their conversation always tear d roof off.

Fantasywrita:

I think u r all missing the point here. We are talking about the over all well being not just the looks and kilos. I know a woman who looks older than her elder sis just because she doesn't take care of herself since her marriage....she's growing grey hairs while her elder sis has none.

And her husband has been threatening to get a new wife... I know this cos a friend stays directly opposite them. And when they fight their conversation always tear d roof off.

I am not going to discuss it over and over again. If you created a thread telling ALL married people to continue taking care of themselves after marriage, then we would NOT be going round in circles.

carefreewannabe:

I am not going to discuss it over and over again. If you created a thread telling ALL married people to continue taking care of themselves after marriage, then we would NOT be going round in circles.

Hmm..well that's a good point.

Fantasywrita:

I think u r all missing the point here. We are talking about the over all well being not just the looks and kilos. I know a woman who looks older than her elder sis just because she doesn't take care of herself since her marriage....she's growing grey hairs while her elder sis has none.

And her husband has been threatening to get a new wife... I know this cos a friend stays directly opposite them. And when they fight their conversation always tear d roof off.

The same is applicable to the men too.

Bottom line here is, spend a couple of days being the proverbial fly on the wall of most Nigerian couples home. You'll find that the Mrs, more often than not is snowed under with domestic chores, running a business, maintaining her home and career while the man gets an easy time of it. So what you should be doing is advocating that the men take a more hands-on approach to helping the already over-stressed-and-over-worked madam.

Advocate for such men giving their wives a break and some much needed "me time" to go to the salon and fix their hair, nails, go shopping for the latest fads till they drop, and also time out to hit the gym 2 hours a day, seven days a week. If these complaining men do that, then you'll definitely see a transformational change on the Mrs.

So it's not just about shouting or talking. Let them roll up their sleeves, get involved and put their money where their mouths are. It's not that hard.

Efemenaxy1:

The same is applicable to the men too.

Bottom line here is, spend a couple of days being the proverbial fly on the wall of most Nigerian couples home. You'll find that the Mrs, more often than not is snowed under with domestic chores, running a business, maintaining her home and career while the man gets an easy time of it. So what you should be doing is advocating that the men take a more hands-on approach to helping the already over-stressed-and-over-worked madam.

Advocate for such men giving their wives a break and some much needed "me time" to go to the salon and fix their hair, nails, go shopping for the latest fads till they drop, and also time out to hit the gym 2 hours a day, seven days a week. If these complaining men do that, then you'll definitely see a transformational change on the Mrs.

So it's not just about shouting or talking. Let them roll up their sleeves, get involved and put their money where their mouths are. It's not that hard.

True talk!! take a look at what Jay z is doing for beyonce. She takes care of herself yes, but gets enough support from her hubby. How many husbands can do that to make sure their wives look gorgeous? what can husbands do to give their wives ample time to look good and pamper themselves? that is what men should be thinking about and not nagging.

beeevan: Seriously your post has little or nothing to do with the cause of infidelity, most wives looks better than their husband's concubine. You can hardly tell married women from single women these days, both look absolutely good to go.

beevan, I agree with you 200%. When I see some married women, I'm like wow!

ferhyntorlah: beevan, I agree with you 200%. When I see some married women, I'm like wow!

Thanks babe .

while i agree that most married women are guilty of this, i equally find it very annoying that some men will carry 'beer belle' and be moving around, and to think that some foolish people with their poverty mentality stil refer to it as sign of enjoyment/good living. Very disgusting.


#Team keep fit and tonned body

carefreewannabe: People should never stop taking care of themselves but why don't you give the same advice to men who become fat and unsporty EVEN without having to go through a pregnancy?

i agree with you on this