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The Wife I Never Had - Literature - Nairaland

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..............how I Wished I Never Accepted Him.......complete story / An Open Letter To The Girl I Never Called Back / The Nigeria I Never Knew (2) (3) (4)

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The Wife I Never Had by uzolexis(f): 7:04pm On Jul 18, 2014
This is a true life story of a good friend of mine. I hope you guys will enjoy reading it.
Re: The Wife I Never Had by uzolexis(f): 7:06pm On Jul 18, 2014
PART 1


It was the last semester of my second spill over year and I was nearing triumph in the long drawn cold war running between I and some elements in the department of Agronomy where I was a student.

I was done resiting exams for the courses my examination officer had notified me earlier in the advent of the session that their results were missing.

The growing impatience from home and all other people who were concerned but unfortunately were oblivious of what I was passing through for me to announce that I had been called up to serve in the NYSC Scheme was now mounting and unbearable.

My mother was the one person in the world who was aware and also understood my plight, She never relented in encouraging me to persevere.

She had called me earlier that week to enquire if I needed funds wired into my account, I declined, assuring her that all was well. But the real truth was that I was so broke and starving as well.

On wednesday evening as I was dressing up to go and eat at a cafeteria in fulfilment of my new 0 - 0 - 1 feeding formula, my phone rang and it was my girlfriend calling.

Me : Hello, Sisi

Her : Boo How naa ?

Me : I dey oooo.

Her : How far ? U dey house ?

Me : Yes ooo.

Her : I dey road, I dey show, my hostel don too dey boring, u cook abi ?

Me : For where ?

Her : But u don chop naa abi ?

Me : I been wan go chop but make I wait for u naa, if you show we go now waka together go chop.

Her : ok e good like dat. I dey come.

She ends the call and I lay down waiting and thinking of how I would be able to manage through the weekend as I have resolved against all odds to run back home on monday and at least feed regularly for few days.

after about 20 minutes wait, with my belly aching with hunger, the door finally swung open and she came straight into my embrace.

Seeing how hungry I was, there was no need to waste time, she just dropped her bag and we headed straight out for the cafeteria.
Re: The Wife I Never Had by TiffanyJ(f): 7:10pm On Jul 18, 2014
Following this
Re: The Wife I Never Had by jaymomma(f): 7:16pm On Jul 18, 2014
Following
Re: The Wife I Never Had by Paradise163(f): 7:41pm On Jul 18, 2014
Tiffany J am here because of you... Am your no 1 follower




#following this too
Re: The Wife I Never Had by uzolexis(f): 7:48pm On Jul 18, 2014
PART 2


On Friday after we had done laundry together, Hunger had set in and with my wallet dry, I thought it wise to send her back to her hostel so she doesn't join me in my Starve-mania.

Me : Babe how far, how much remain for that money sef ?

Her : Bobo na 80 Naira oooooo (came her reply).

Me : Oya comot N50 make you transport go back school.

Her : No e no go pure naa, My Popsi say im go send small Kohdosh(money) enta my account this afternoon, as here near town so, e go make sense make I wait make the alert show, then with this card we go rush go ATM sharpali (She kissed her ATM card as she spoke).

Me : Omo eh, as you show eh e dey pain me sef say we don even chop your own remaining money join, my fear now be say, if ur Paleh(Dad) no come shake body today eh, you sabi say na big Yawa for u unto say na weekend we dey chuk head enta so oooo.

Her : No dat one no fit happen naaa, Papsi assure me say na confirm say this afternoon pepper go rest, if we go ATM finish eh make we from there enter market go buy provs (provisions) and u sef go chuk hand for the money take go meet your people for Aba make dem find you small something as e be say I don check your cupboard nothing dey am and shi-shi no come gum your pocket, meanwhile wear polo make u escort me go buy sugar and groundnut make we finish d last otoh(Garri) wey dey first.

Me : Where you see money for sugar and Groundnut ?

Her : na d remaining money naa, Eh heh 8 pure water sef still dey remain for the half bag wey we carry come for night so we no go buy water.

Me : dis pikin u no dey hear word, make you come run go back school, if the alert show u go withdraw for school enter back town. Dis money now na your T-Fare ooooo. U fit carry d Otoh(Garri) go sef, everly you go fit see sugar for una corner for hostel.

Her : Bobo wetin you go come chop naa?

Me: No worry I go manage.

Her : Guy see make I tell u, dat hostel no dey sweet me as exam dey so. U sabi say everybody dey go class go jack, if no be say I still get one paper wey remain on tuesday, I for don pack come here oooo, so no dey pursue me go school, abi anoda babe wan bring food come for you ? (She teased)

Me : U see am, e don turn to say I wan carry babe abi, but you sabi say na u be my Sisi naa ( I walked to her and held her tightly from behind), I no just wan make u dey folo dey partake for my suffer.

She turned around and held me close and said in plain English;

Her : Look, from the day I said yes to you, I knew you were managing and I understand the troubles you are going through being a spill over student for the second consecutive year, and I admire your courage, but I assure you that it will all be over soon. I understand that you feel bad about it all, I going hungry in the cause of visiting you, I understand that it was what I signed up for and I'm here to support you, soon my Dad will send me some money, money that I can't even finish making use of till the exam ends, so I elect that we share (switching back to pidgin) abi u no wan share with ur Sisi again ?

I drew her close to me and hugged her saying;

Me : Thank you Dear, I love you.

She chuclkled and replied

Her : I love you too.

Me : Oya make I wear polo escort u make we go buy the tins naa.

She disengaged from the hug reluctantly.

Her : Abeg Wear, Alarm don dey blow for my Belle sef.

We hurriedly rushed toward Mama Ozioma's kiosk down the street to purchase what would make up our meal for the rest of the day.
Re: The Wife I Never Had by PrettySpicey(f): 9:26pm On Jul 18, 2014
the pidgin here na masterpiece o
Re: The Wife I Never Had by uzolexis(f): 9:51pm On Jul 18, 2014
PART 3


We in no time settled down to business on our cherished concoction, after she had mixed the garri to rise and added the just acquired sugar and groundnut.

I guess if there were an observer in the room at that time, we would have earned great deal of pity because we hungrily swooped on the junk meal with no mercy, trying to outdo each other in the number of spoons we would collect.

Being originally an Alpha Male, I was winning the battle of "number of scoops of garri you can take"
She had to cry out !

She : Ah ah Bobo !

Me : Wetin naa ?

She : Take am easy naa, abi u no dey mercy for pesin ?

Me : abeg no paddy man in jungle oooo.

She : Wicked boy. (She playfully cried)
No be you senior me, abi you no sabi say u suppose remain for me ?

I got choked as I burst into laughter and raised my spoon in surrender, she didn't wanna take chances and she ran off with the garri plate out of the room, bolting the door from outside incase changed my mind.

After emptying the remaining garri into her hunger beaten belly, she opened the door, ran to me, jumped on top of my back and started beating me.

Actually it was a kind of fight we enjoyed, we call it the DING DING fight. A very romantic playful fight, that usually led to some intimacy.

Me : u don drink garri get enough strength to fight me abi ? (I asked laughing, as I tried to shake her off)

Her : wicked boy, u cheat me in the garri feast and am having my own pound of flesh now. (She continued hitting me)

In a swoop, I shook her off unto the large mattress and she landed on the soft surface, grabbing a pillow ; The Pillow Fight has started.

Anyway we ended up cuddling off to sleep after the DING DING fight.

By 3:00pm we woke up and she rushed to check her phone for bank alert and it was yet to be received.

We waited patiently until an sms tone disrupted the silence in the room, she rushed to her phone but to her utter most disappointment it was her room mate sending her a please call me back sms.

She sighed loudly as she returned to the mattress.

I initiated games of Ludo and whot in a bid to distract her attention, but she would not play

By 3:45 her Dad finally called.

Her : Helo Daddy!

Her Dad : Helo angel, imee au (how are u) ?

Her : I am fine, I am already at the bank and I am yet to get an alert.

Her Dad : Kai ! That's why I am calling my angel, I forgot to send clement to the bank and I am boarding at Sam Mbakwe for Lagos.

Her : Daddy okpom nile agwule (all my money has finished)

Her Dad : I know my dear, can you try to get back to school ? If you do just go to Professor Madu's office after about an hour and alert me, I will call him as soon as you are there.

Her : Okay Dad.

She ends the call, her face sullen and sad, she there and then won my pity.

As soon as it was 5:00 She called her father and lied that she had been to the Professor's office but that he had already gone home before she could get there.

We had an uneventful silent evening, punctuated intermittently by few phrases said to each other, she was not happy and her kind of person needed a lot of petting to soothe her pain.

I had to cuddle her and we both fell asleep around 9:00pm or so.

By 1:00 am on Saturday morning, I was awakened by great Hunger, Chai ! It was so unbearable that I prayed for day break to come very quickly, I watched her sleeping innocently, occasionally scanning for me across the mattress with her arms.

As soon as it was day break, I awoke to notice that I had fallen asleep on top of the chair where I sat previously after waking up earlier on, the clock was indicating that it was 7:15 am.

The Hunger returned with greater force, I couldn't bear it any longer.
I quietly opened the door so as not to wake her up, crept out of my room and ran with my last strength towards Mama Ozioma's Kiosk.

On getting to Mama Ozioma's Kiosk, she was not yet out.

It was then that it dawned on me that it was environmental sanitation day and no shop was supposed to be open.

I slowly started to find my way back to my apartment wondering what next to do.

1 Like

Re: The Wife I Never Had by pricelesslove(f): 4:52pm On Jul 19, 2014
following
Re: The Wife I Never Had by uzolexis(f): 7:54pm On Jul 19, 2014
PART 4


On getting back she was awake, we exchanged greetings and she let out series of yawns.

I knew there and then that the yawns were triggered by hunger.

Her : Boo, how far naa ? Where you leave me go this early morning ?

Me : I just stroll go check whether today clean up go get head.

Her : I know when u lie, wetin concern you and clean up, when you start to dey join for clean up?

Me : Haba pesin no go fit do clean up again ?

Her : Boo, e get one babe for this street wey don too eye you, u sure say no be she u go block ?

Me : Habaaa ! No naa ! Sisi which kind yarns be that naa ?

Her : Hahahahahaha ! I'm just pulling your legs abi pesin no fit follow you play ? ( She yawns again)

Me : No naa, e don dey much, u don carry style dey tell me say u no trust Me.

Her : No ooo Bobo, no be so (Yawns again) I just wake up, I no see you, I no come sabi where you put head, na as I hear sound of gate wey dem open, I come see from window as you dey enter. I been dey wonder how u carry waka.

Me : Ok I lied, I went to check Mama Ozioma.

Her : Haba, this early morning ? but She no dey owe us change naa.

Me : I been wan collect somethings on credit, later I go pay am.

Her : But you don't have to.

Me : See oooo, wetin pesin wan chop, abi you no dey Hungry ?

Her : I dey hungry but I no want make you go dey owe people, especially all these women for street wey dey sabi gossip. Make we just dey, before clean up go (yawns) finish eh, I go don sabi wetin dey.

We both went to brush and after a while, the gates of Hunger were opened in our bellies, I watched her but she kept avoiding my eyes and yawning.

Then some minutes around after 11:00 am, She left the room and was taking long to return, I traced her to the corridor and I stopped dead cold and heart broken as I saw her Licking ToothPaste with tears freely flowing from her eyes.

Me : Chai ! Sisi am so sorry it came to this (I quickly took her into my embrace).

Her : (Sobbing) I'm so sorry, I'm so hungry and I'm trying out an old trick in my secondary school boarding house days of keeping hunger at bay with toothpaste.

I was so heart broken that I left her and dashed towards Mama Ozioma's Kiosk ready to Beg her for bread on credit even if it meant being gossiped with.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Wife I Never Had by Nobody: 8:02pm On Jul 19, 2014
Lexis,this is great!
Re: The Wife I Never Had by papindinho(m): 8:08pm On Jul 19, 2014
following sharpishly...

1 Like

Re: The Wife I Never Had by papindinho(m): 8:21pm On Jul 19, 2014
so so touching...

.
.

1 Like

Re: The Wife I Never Had by uzolexis(f): 8:27pm On Jul 19, 2014
Jennimma: Lexis,this is great!

Thanks smiley
Re: The Wife I Never Had by Nobody: 8:37pm On Jul 19, 2014
Hope its not what am thinking?
Re: The Wife I Never Had by uzolexis(f): 9:07pm On Jul 19, 2014
slimmy05: Hope its not what am thinking?

What are you thinking?
Re: The Wife I Never Had by Nobody: 9:09pm On Jul 19, 2014
uzolexis:

What are you thinking?
lipsrsealed
Re: The Wife I Never Had by uzolexis(f): 9:16pm On Jul 19, 2014
slimmy05: lipsrsealed
U better talk or else....what happen in 1937 would repeat itself and i'm sure u won't like that angry angry
Re: The Wife I Never Had by pricelesslove(f): 11:45pm On Jul 19, 2014
hmmmm i feel like crying right now, in fact i'm crying now. hmmmm i feel like crying right now, in fact i'm crying now.

1 Like

Re: The Wife I Never Had by uzolexis(f): 3:35pm On Jul 20, 2014
PART 5


As I rushed out of the gate and crossed the road, A Peugeot 505 salon car was approaching with its horn blaring and headlamps flashing as it drove toward my direction.

I shifted to allow it pass but it came to a halt beside me and the two occupants happened to be my friends James and Chidolue.

James : (Excited) Abobby eeeeee !!!!

Chiddolue : (Excited as well) Oh Boy where u dey put head ?

Me : (Letting out a faint smile) Mehn I dey go buy something for down the street.

James : we been dey come see you, as we don see you enter motor naa, make we kukuma buy fuel for junction.

I entered and we drove to a petrol station at the junction.

After refuelling the car, James announced that he was hungry and needed to eat at the cafeteria opposite the petrol station.

As we got there, he ordered Garri and vegetable soup and subsequently asked us to make orders for ours as well, Chidolue asked for Semo and Egusi, while I whispered into James's ear that I needed the money meant for my own plate of food.

He still insisted that I ate.
I gladly ordered Fufu and vegetable soup.

I munched away hungrily that being the last to order I became the first to finish, James sensing how hungry I was requested that I took extra which I gladly did.

It was a Miracle to be given such a treat, but for every ball of fufu I ingested, my mind went back to my hungry girlfriend who was in my room starving, I was enveloped with guilt.
But it was a miracle I couldn't resist.

After the meal, James promptly foot the bills and I called him aside and spoke to him.

Me : Abobby, thank you very much, u just saved a starving man

James : hahahahahaha ! Dis man sef, notin do u.

Me : Abobby, I dey broke scatter and the only help wey you go offer me now na to help me with transport make I run go house, even my babe sef dey room, shishi no gum both of us, we never chop, as una meet me eh, na credit bread I dey go collect. That time.

At that point his phone rang and he excused himself to answer the call.
That call indicated that they were to be heading to somewhere from that point.
James : (Opening his wallet, brought out N1000 and handed over to me) Abobby Hol dis one naa.

My eyes nearly popped out of my eyeballs.

Me : Abobby! Abobby !! Abobby !!! (I screamed with glee)

James : (Laughing) abeg enter motor make we drop you, Chido reverse make we go drop am before we go waka dey go.

Chidolue : I no sabi wetin una dey come go do two aside for oooo, make una no sell me oooo

We all laughed, boarded the car and sped off towards my house.
Re: The Wife I Never Had by Aipete2(f): 3:38pm On Jul 20, 2014
Lolz. Continue
Re: The Wife I Never Had by uzoexcel(m): 8:07pm On Jul 20, 2014
undecided
Re: The Wife I Never Had by Nobody: 8:41pm On Jul 20, 2014
Following like a male dog would to a female dog when on heat
Re: The Wife I Never Had by Nobody: 12:14am On Jul 21, 2014
Hnnnnnm....

God punish poverty skatter.

1 Like

Re: The Wife I Never Had by uzolexis(f): 7:12pm On Jul 21, 2014
PART 6


I got into the room to meet my girlfriend curled up at one end, her eyes dilated with hunger.

Her : Boo where you go naa ? (In her weakest voice I have ever heard)

Me : Sisi

Her : Eh (Yes)

Me : Oya wear cloth.

Her : eeeh ?(Really)

Me : eeh (Yes), come escort me go beg Mama Ozioma, abeg.

Her : Ok, but I doubt she will sell on credit oooo and I don't like this idea ooooo (she reluctantly jumps into a pair of jean trouser and a good blouse)

Me: make we go try first, abi you no believe in miracles ?

Her : Oya naa, I don ready oooo.

We left the room and I could see she was really itching for a bite.

As We approached Mama Ozioma's kiosk, I could see hope in her eyes, I just looked d other way and shook my head in pity.

Getting to the kiosk, she was slowing down, but I kept moving and walked past the kiosk, she hurried to catch up with me and she asked in a hushed tone:

Her : Boo, where you dey go naa?

Me : (Looking towards a cafeteria just ahead) Sisi, liver cut me, I no sabi as I want take start, oya make we waka front small come turn, I go now go beg am.

Her : Boo na wah oooo, I never do dis kind tin before ooo.

Me : u don see am say condition na wetin make crayfish bend.

We got to the cafeteria and I walked in, she was still outside and I beckoned on a surprised her to come in and have a sit.

She promptly did and in a whisper asked me :

Her : Boo wetin we dey do here ?

I smiled and asked her in return

Me : Wetin people dey come here come do ?

Her : Where you wan get money pay ?

A waiter had come to take orders

Waiter : Oga wetin una wan chop ?

Me : Na Madam go chop, no be Me.

Her : why you no wan chop naa?

Me : order your food first, then hear me out.

She ordered a plate of fufu and okro soup which she promptly pounced on, on delivery.

I watched her with pity and very happily as she ate hungrily, finishing the meal in no time.
I made her have more and she happily ate to her fill.

It was while she ate that I narrated how I met James and Chidolue.

As we went back, she was now livelier and spoke louder.

Few hours after our return to my room, I convinced her to return to the hostel, which she reluctantly accepted to.

While seeing her off to the bus stop her phone rang, Professor Madu was on the line requesting for her location so that His driver could bring her a package on her father's request.

We were at the bus stop when 20 minutes later, Prof's driver pulled over, handed her the brown envelope and drove off.

We opened the envelope and its content were two minty wraps of N200 notes.

She spoke to the money in a small still voice saying " So na your eye be this".

3 Likes

Re: The Wife I Never Had by Nobody: 8:11pm On Jul 21, 2014
Lexy girl,u've got me singing to this tune-"weda na one naira,weda na one million. Baby u got me".by waje ft M.I
lolz. This is great! Thumbs up

1 Like 1 Share

Re: The Wife I Never Had by heemah(f): 11:14pm On Jul 21, 2014
dz kain luv still exist?? lolz..Ride on plss.
Re: The Wife I Never Had by TiffanyJ(f): 4:26am On Jul 22, 2014
Paradise163: Tiffany J am here because of you... Am your no 1 follower




#following this too
lol. How have you been?
Re: The Wife I Never Had by uzolexis(f): 8:28am On Jul 22, 2014
heemah: dz kain luv still exist?? lolz..Ride on plss.

It does o,this is not fiction,its a real story.
Jennimma: Lexy girl,u've got me singing to this tune-"weda na one naira,weda na one million. Baby u got me".by waje ft M.I
lolz. This is great! Thumbs up

smiley smiley smiley
Re: The Wife I Never Had by Dwady(m): 8:43am On Jul 22, 2014
Love is blind o. Carry on man,feeling the story. *seats and grabs pop.corn*

1 Like

Re: The Wife I Never Had by Nobody: 2:18pm On Jul 22, 2014
Lady to lady love lipsrsealed boo(F) and boo(F) lipsrsealed
Re: The Wife I Never Had by Shawdey(f): 11:14am On Jul 23, 2014
See love

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