Am not a comedian, and i dont expect anyone to laugh, not even....ordinary smile.
ehh, but i go still talk.
As i dey read bible, inspiration enter .....

If judas love money = igbo man

The bible said, john out ran peter to the tomb of jesus, first to get there, but didnt enter becos of fear= yoruba man.
peter who came last(behinde),entered the tomb with courage= warri man(nothing dey happen)

Saul/paul carried out murderous activities against the Lord’s disciples, according to the bible= hausa (from the north)

The bible said, jesus rode on a donkey and enter Jerusalem = guys if you dey go village this year, na beg ,i dey beg, no use ordinary leg enter go see papa and mama. follow watin bible talk.

The bible let us understand that, king Saul Talked with Samuel's Ghost directly = joke apart, na which internet connection him dey use? ...... 4.5G. Mennn those guys dey gbadun life. No dulling.


Its true that our sister, sister Eve, quick quick, shine eye before our very own brother adam say ''jack''= this na the beginning of the legend of maga. So guys if you have been maga by a woman, dont be down cast, it has happened before and it might still happen again. Amen

There was a rich man from Arimathea,named josphe, who acquired jesus body for burial = hmmmm.....I see dangote....yes dangote na so e start.....hmmmm .....oppurtunist.... buying of shares. Halleluyah.

The samaritan woman.....sorry, ijebu woman, for d well, wey no wan give our brother jesus, common purewater, purewater..... shake my head for that woman, thankGod sa she convert, e for worse.


MOSES, my man. THE VERY FIRST BIG GUY. Carri tablet, use write commandment. The kin provoke, wey him people provoke am, na so him scatter the ipad. See big boy.

Joseph + the butler + the baker = Joseph + the houseboy + the calabar cook. E pain me for that calabar boy. All calabar people stand for a minute silence for that brother. But why una like kitchen job sef?


Zaccheus on the tall tree meets jesus= lesson learnt, if you know you are short, make a tall person your friend today, and your life will never remain the same. AMEN!!!

The book of revelation= First and only horror film 4 bible. The film horror die!!! You don read am?

Nigeria girls , i hale una ooo.
I be dey talk on top internet, one nigeria girl and one france girl. As we dey chat, dey form big boy, na so i send the france girl my picture, she responded wit, '' handsome''. My head swell.
I come send the niger girl same picture, same picture o. na so she look am ooo, the next tin na, '' i hav seen it''.
Okay we come dey talk dey go, the france girl as she wan know me more, you know, she just ask me simple question like, ''what's your hobby?'', i laugh, thats one no be wahala.
The niger babe, look me, look me oh, as she wan know me wella, na so she fire question, '' where do you work?''
See me see wahala.
Nigeria girls i hail una. I beg na joke ooo. Make ina no vex.

Scene 1
3 guys playing video game ( playstation)
Guy 1: I go win you (excited)
Guy 2: For your life ( smiling )
Guy 3: I beg make una do fast make i play.

Guy 1: See goal!!! 1-0
YOUR MAMA!!! (jubilantly)
Guy 2 Angrily drops game pad )
Watin com brin my mama 4 here?

Guy 3: How you go dey call him mama (calmly)

Guy 1: (laughing)
I beg no vex. No vex my guy.
Guy 2: (picks game pad up again)
I no like am o.
Guy 3: (violently) I WAN PLAY NA!!!


Scene 2
later on.....
Guy 1: See another goal!!! 2-0
Your father yash! (jubilantly)
Guy 2: ( laughing) you dey craze. Mad guy. Your papa. Bastard boy. I don die.
Guy 3: I WAN PLAY OOO!!!

ALL LOVE TO ALL THE MOTHERS IN THE WORLD!!! Papa we no forget you ooo. Hhahahaha

Dog: oh boy yea, see as dem dey look us naaa, jona how far na?
Cat: where?where?.... I don tell you make you no dey use ya hand dey touch me.
Dog: o boi yea. See as them dey look us.

E get one suya man wey dey my area. O boy no be small tin o. You see, before this ebola crisis wey dey, this my guy dey sell market die. No b small tin. E even dey make yanga. Na him be the biggest malam wey dey control tin. Small suya like this na 1000naira, o boy see wahala. Sample you no fit sample him meat taste. say you wan buy,na cash and carry. Him dey deal wit bigger boys and girls. Him no send poor man. Com see as this man dy control people head, becos him suya sweet no b small. Him no dey smile, no dey laugh, NO SEND YOU!! No b small tin my people. Now tins don change! Mak u com see this my guy. I no know sey this malam get teeth sef. Com see as him don begin laugh wity people dem, becos say market don spoil. Ebola na bastard. No b small tin. Malam sit down, see big big meat for him front, him never sell one. NOBODY COM BUY,.na who wan die. Come see meat as e plenty. See the scent. See Temptation.
So as i waka pass dis my guy, you no go believe. for d very first time this my guy call me. I no knw sey the malam knw my name sef. See wahala. Him sey smile like woman. Aha haha. I no buy.
You knw me na, na so i stop for him shop. Do like sey i wan buy. HOW MUCH BE THIS ONE? I carry one small meat. Na him use him hand carry one big meat join am. " 200naira.''
Shor, big meat like this one, 200naira. I laugh. As my guy don dey file him knife, wan begin cut. Na so i stop am, i sey, ''my guy, e too cost. 50naira nko?'' see my guy face. E remain small mak this guy carri knife shok me. No be small tin. Aha haha. See temptation.

Everybody dey shout ebollaaa. Ebollaaa. Anyway this my friend wey just land from village new. You know village people na. Anytin wey them see from lagos na miracle, na wonder. If them see tap, them go call am, ''river on. river off'', if them see electric bulb, na ''sun on , sun off''. All those kin village people them wey , no matter how them trust u, dem no fit follow you climb cross over bridge. Na that time you go dey hear, '' mama mi o, yeah, ori Oya mi oooo.'' hold you for hand, wan comot am.
Na so i just come from work, LATE, for night. My friend dey house, as i open door, i see am for corner. I dey expect make i see am dey watch home video.
As i see am dey ground,"ojo watin hapin''
my friend begin talk, ''yeah brother, i don die''
''you don die. As how?
''i don catch am''
''you catch watin.''
''ebalaaa''
i be one run, but..., i look am, ''how,how you know sey you get ebola''
" brother mi, ebala ni, I....I...e dey toilet.''
I look this my friend. wahala dey. Fear don catch me " virus dey toilet? How u take know sey e dey there?''
''brother mi, na shit i go shiti ooo ''
na so my village brother dey point hand face toilet.
" brother mi. As i shit finish, i look my shit for toilet, as the tin take turn for the inside, com b like that picture wey them dey show for talevision of ebala. Aha brother miiii''

My people e remain small, make i slap am for head. How him no go shit the kin shit wey resemble virus ebola,when him dey chop everytin wey dey my fridge. Aha haha foolish boy.

Omo, one of my guy wey go look for job. As him fond the job, my guy happy sey , dem dey invite am for interview. O boy. Na so my guy suit up. See fine boy. E surprise me seu my guy come back dey cry.
"watin happen” i ask am
My guy no greet talk ooo. See tears as e dey drop.
"o by watin happen na'' fear don dey catch me sef. "' how interview?''

na so my guy begin talk.
Him sey as him finish interview, my guy pass. Say make him collect hand shake from him oga interviewer, my guy no gree tak hand shake ooo. Aha haha. God punish ebola. Instead make my guy for nod, that him big head, make the oga know sey, prevention better than cure. Na so him open him mouth dey talk, '' sir, do you have ebola? Because i dont want to contact ebola.''
Aha haha. God punish english language. Too much english na e cause am. Foolish boy.

SON: Daddy, I fell in love and want to date this
awesome girl!
FATHER : That's great son. Who is she?
SON : It's Sandra, the neighbor's daughter
FATHER : Ohhh! I wish you hadn't said that. I
have to tell you something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is
actually your sister.
The boy naturally bummed out, but a couple of
months later
SON: Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even
hotter! FATHER: That's great son. Who is she?
SON: It's Angela, the other neighbor's daughter.
FATHER: Ohhhh! I wish you hadn't said that.
Angela is also your sister.
This went on couple of times and the son was
so mad, he went straight to his mother: SON: Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with
six girls but, I can't date any of them because
daddy is their father!The mother hugs him
affectionately
MOTHER: My love, you can date whoever you
want. Don't listen to him. He isn't your father."

bankyteemoney: SON: Daddy, I fell in love and want to date this
awesome girl!
FATHER : That's great son. Who is she?
SON : It's Sandra, the neighbor's daughter
FATHER : Ohhh! I wish you hadn't said that. I
have to tell you something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is
actually your sister.
The boy naturally bummed out, but a couple of
months later
SON: Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even
hotter! FATHER: That's great son. Who is she?
SON: It's Angela, the other neighbor's daughter.
FATHER: Ohhhh! I wish you hadn't said that.
Angela is also your sister.
This went on couple of times and the son was
so mad, he went straight to his mother: SON: Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with
six girls but, I can't date any of them because
daddy is their father!The mother hugs him
affectionately
MOTHER: My love, you can date whoever you
want. Don't listen to him. He isn't your father."

oh boy yea, no be small tin na. Casala don gas. Women!!! Hhahahaha