<<<GIVING TO GOD>>>

The junior secondary school teacher asked her 8 eager 10yr-olds if they would give $1,000,000 to the missionaries.
~Yes!~,they all screamed!

~Would you give $1,000?~
Again,they shoute
d ~YES!~

~How about $100?
Oh yes we would,they all agreed.

~Would you give a dollar to the missionaries she aske
d~
......The boy exclaimed ~Yes!~ just as before except for Johnny.

~Johnnie,the teacher said,as she noticed the boy clutching his pocket.~

~Why didn't you say yes this time?
Well the boy stammered,~I have a dollar!

<<<EGGS>>>

An elderly Pastor was searching his closet for a tie before church one sunday morning.At the back of the closet,he found a small box containing 3 EGGS and $100.

~He called his wife into the closet to ask her about the box and its contents~.

~Embarrased,she admitted having hidden the box for the entire 30years of marriage~

~Disapointed,the Pastor asked her why?~

~The wife replied that she did that so as not to hurt his feelings~

~He asked how the box could have hurt his feelings.~

~She said that every time he delivered a poor sermon during their marriage,she placed an egg into the box~

The pastor felt that 3 poor sermons in 30yrs was certainly nothing to feel bad about and he asked her about the $100.

~She replied, "Each time i gather a dozen egg,I sold them to the neigbor for a dollar($1)~

On hearing this,the pastor fainted.


Oya calculate how many times the pastor delivered a poor sermon.

<<<HOW TO GET TO HEAVEN>>>

A teacher asked the children in her Sunday School class,

~If I sold my house and my car,had a big garage sale and give all the money to the church would i get into heaven!~

~NO!~ The children all answered.

~If I cleaned the church everyday,mowed the yard and kept everything neat and tidy,would I then get into Heaven?~

~Again,the answer was ~NO!~

~Well,she continued,then how can i get into Heaven?

~At the back of the class, a five year-old boy shouted, ~You gotta be dead!~

<<<REST IN PEACE>>>

One Sunday morning,the Pastor noticed little Alex staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the Church.The plaque was covered with names,and small American flags were mounted on either side of it.
The seven year-old had been staring at the plaque for sometime so the pastor walked up stood beside him and said quietly,

~Good morning,Alex~
~Good morning,pastor~,replied the young boy still focused on the plaque.

~Pastor McGhee,what is this~, Alex asked~

~Well son,it's a memorial to all men and women who have died in the service?

Soberly,they stood together staring at the large plaque.

~Little Alex's voice was barely audible when he finally asked,~which one,the 8:00 or 10:30 service?~