Ananse visited his friend kofi .
Kofi called his wife and asked
her to serve them drinks. when the wife was done with
the serving, she sat down right
opposite Ananse with her legs
open. Ananse could not control
himself so he enjoyed the
view. when kofi went inside the house, kofi’s wife said to
Ananse,”do you like what you
see”? Ananse said YES. Kofi’s wife
said ,”you can have it, but it
will only cost you ghc 5,000,
and Ananse agreed so they
fixed a time, 12pm the next
day when the husband kofi, will be at work. So the next
day, Ananse came over at the
exact time and they enjoyed
themselves then he paid her.
When kofi came back, this was
what transpired between them: kofi: Honey was Ananse here
to day? Wife: [AFRAID] yes kofi: At 12pm right ? Wife: [AFRAID ] yes kofi: OHH, Ananse my good
friend, always keeping time … Wife: Honey, why do you ask? Kofi: He came over to my
office this morning and
borrowed ghc 5,000 from me
promising to bring it back to
you at the house by 12pm, so
did he bring it ? * describe Ananse*
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The sahara hunger

Two christians were lost in the
sahara desert on their way to
Libya. One is David and the
other is Christian. They were
terribly dying of hunger and
thirst when they suddenly came upon an oasis with what
looked like an emirate with a
mosque in the middle. David
said to Christian “Let’s pretend
as if we are muslims
otherwise we wil not get food or drink. I am going to call
myself Muhammad Gambo”
Christian refused to change his
name “My name is Christian
and I wil not pretend to be
what I am not. When they got there, the Imam of d Mosque
received both of them well and
asked for their names. David
said “My name is Muhammad
Gambo” Christian said “My
name is Christian” The Imam turns to the helpers of the
Mosque and said “Pls bring
some food and water for
Christian only. Then he turned
to the other and said “Well
Muhammad Gambo, I hope you are aware that we are still in
the month of Ramadan? The
guy fainted.

A little old lady was walking
down the street dragging two
large garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped
open, and every now and then,
a $50 bill fell out onto the
footpath. Noticing this, a cop
stopped her, and said, “Ma’am,
there are $50 bills falling Out of that bag.” “Oh, rats! Darn it!” said the
little old lady. “I’d better go
back and see if I can find them.
Thanks for telling me officer.” “Well, now, not so fast,” said
the cop. “Where did you get all
that money? You didn’t steal it,
did you?” “Oh, no, no,” said the
old lady. “You see, my yard is right next
to the baseball stadium
parking lot. On game days, a
lot of fans come and pee
through a hole in the fence,
right into my garden. Then I thought, “why not make
the most of it? So, now, on
game days, I stand behind the
fence by the hole with my
shears. Every time some guy sticks his
dingus through my fence, I
surprise him, grab hold of it
and say, “O.K., buddy! Give me
$50, or I cut off your thing!” Well, that seems only fair,”
said the cop, laughing. “OK.
Good luck! Oh, by the way,
what’s in the other bag?”
“Well, you know,” said the
little old lady, “not everybody pays.”

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An old woman walked into an
antique store and looked at a
diamond necklace in a glass
cabinet. Suddenly, she let out a fart
(she polluted the air). She
coughed, trying to disguise it,
because a shop assistant was
walking by. She then called the assistant
over and asked how much the
necklace was. The assistant replied, “If you
just farted looking at it, you’ll
shit yourself when I tell you
the price!”

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here=>
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A small boy asks his Dad, "Daddy, what is
politics?"
Dad says, "Well
son, let me try to explain
it this way: I'm the
breadwinner of the
family, so let's call me Capitalism. Your mom,
she's the administrator of
the money, so we'll call
her the Government.
We're here to take care
of your needs, so we'll call you the People. The
nanny, we'll consider her
the Working Class. And
your baby brother, we'll
call him the Future. Now,
think about that and see if that makes sense."
So the little boy goes off to
bed thinking about what
Dad has said.
Later that night, he hears his baby
brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He
finds that the baby has
severely soiled his
diaper. The little boy goes
to his parents' room and
finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to
wake her, he goes to the
nanny's room. Finding the
door locked, he peeks in
the keyhole and sees his
father having sex with the nanny. He gives up
and goes back to bed. The
next morning, the little
boy says to his father,

"Dad, I think I understand
the concept of politics now." The father says,
"Good, son, tell me in
your own words what
you think politics is all
about."
The little boy
replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing
the Working Class, the
Government is sound
asleep, the People are
being ignored and the
Future is in Deep Shit".

Read more funny jokes here=> www.funnysort.

An elderly lady was well-known
for her faith and for her
boldness in talking about it.
She would stand on her front
porch and shout "PRAISE THE
LORD!" Next door to her lived an
atheist who would get so angry
at her proclamations he would
shout, "There ain't no Lord!!"
Hard times set in on the elderly
lady, and she prayed for GOD to send her some assistance. She
stood on her porch and shouted
"PRAISE THE LORD. GOD I NEED
FOOD!! I AM HAVING A HARD
TIME. PLEASE LORD, SEND ME
SOME GROCERIES!!" The next morning the lady
went out on her porch and
noted a large bag of groceries
and shouted, "PRAISE THE
LORD."
The neighbor jumped from behind a bush and said, "Aha! I
told you there was no Lord. I
bought those groceries, God
didn't."
The lady started jumping up
and down and clapping her hands and said, "PRAISE THE
LORD. He not only sent me
groceries, but He made the
devil pay for them. Praise the
Lord!"

Read more funny jokes
here=> www.funnysort.

Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:
"can kids of our age have kids?" Teacher replied " NO Never!!" Boy said to girl :
"see i told you not to worry!!!!".
Read more funny jokes here=> www.funnysort.

Dad: Shame on you,
Peter. Why did you hit
your little sister?
Peter: Well, Daddy, we
were playing Adam and
Eve with the apple and all. Well, instead of
tempting me with that
apple, she ate the thing
herself!

Read more funny jokes
here=>
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Mrs. Peterson went to
the doctor: “I’m terribly
worried about my boy.
He thinks he’s a
chicken.”
The doctor asked, “And how long has this been
going on?”
“Almost a year,” Mrs.
Peterson replied.
“Well for goodness
sakes! Why didn’t you bring him to see me
sooner?”
“Because we needed
the eggs!”

Read more funny jokes
here=> www.funnysort.

A man entered a mosque
carrying a brand new smooth
machette and asked “Who is a
muslim here?” The whole mosque went as
silent as a grave yard. The man
asked again, “How can a full
mosque have no muslim?”. No
one replied. The man then grabs the nearby
young man and goes out with
him and tells him, “son come
help me slaughter my goat for
I don’t know how to do it”. After the young man had
slaughtered the goat, he tells
the man that he doesn’t know
how to skin it and that the
man would have to go back to
the mosque and get someone else to help him on that.The
man returns to the mosque
with a machete dripping with
blood. When the Imam saw this, he
immediately shouts “Praise the
Looooooooord! The whole
mosque
responds,”halleluyaaaah!!!”

From: The Boyfriends
Association Of Nigeria To
Girlfriends
With regards to the meeting
held today, the Boyfriend
Association of Nigeria decided to go on a two months strike
starting from 1st December,
2014. This strike is not to
cause
any riot or any form of
breakup with our beloved girlfriends. We plan to use this
strike
period as a time for appraisal
and re-dedication in our
supposed relationship. During
this period, all forms of communication (formal or
otherwise) is allowed but all
form of FINANCIAL
ASSISTANCE will be put to rest.
We assure our girlfriends that
this supposed strike period, our
commitment will be 100% and
won’t be questioned, also, this
period will not, WE REPEAT,
will not pose a threat to the
relationship. Full boyfriend responsibility
will resume on the 1st of
February, 2015 to enable both
parties plan for the upcoming
valentine(14th February,
2015) . We thank our girlfriends for
their anticipated
“Good Behavior” during this
period.
Signed; Publicity secretary
BAN

Some updates fit kill person:
“To hair is human to forgive is
design”
“I hate guys with low selves of
steam”
“You are a blessing to your
generator” “I am a soccer for guys with six
park”.
“My BB charger is no longer
walking”
“Anybody who supports this
killings is a carnival”
“Be magnified Oh Lord, you are
highly exhausted”

Read more funny jokes
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An old man was sitting on a
bench at the mall. A young
man walked up to the bench
and sat down. He had spiked
hair in all different
colors:green, red, orange, blue, and yellow. The old man just
stared. Every time the young
man looked, the old man was
staring. The young man finally
said sarcastically, "What's the
matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?"
Without batting an eye, the
old man replied, "Got drunk
once and had sex with a
peacock. I was just wondering
if you were my son.

Read more funny jokes
here=>
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Teacher: u know the importance of
period?

Kid: Ya, once my
sister said she has missed
one, my mom fainted, dad
got heart attack & our
driver ran away.

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“Johnny, where’s your
homework?” Miss
Martin said sternly to
the little boy while
holding out her hand.
“My dog ate it,” was his solemn response.
“Johnny, I’ve been a
teacher for eighteen
years. Do you really
expect me to believe
that?” “It’s true, Miss Martin, I
swear it is,” insisted
Johnny. “I had to smear
it with honey, but I
finally got him to eat
it.”

Read more funny jokes
here=>
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Teacher: Do you know Why the chicken say,
"Meow, oink, bow-wow, moo?"

Akpos: He was studying foreign
languages.

Read more funny jokes here=>
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Teacher : Who is the President
of Iraq ? Little Johnny : I don’t know Miss Teacher : You need to focus
more on your studies. Johnny : Please Miss, can I ask a
question ? Teacher : Yes. Johnny : Do U know Angela ? Teacher : No, why ? Johnny : You need to focus
more on your husband

Read more funny jokes
here=>
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In a classroom Teacher asks a
student to count from 0 to 10.
Student : 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9,
10
Teacher : Where is 5? Student : Yesterday I heard in
the news
that 5 died in a car accident…..
o_O

Read more funny jokes
here=>
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Two boko Haram boys, Habib &
Akpo are making letter bombs.

Habib: “I’m not sure whether I
put enough explosive in this
envelope before I sealed it.”

Akpo: “Well, then open it and
look.”

Habib: “But if I open it, it will
explode!”

Akpos: “Don’t be stupid – it’s
not addressed to you!

Read more funny jokes
here=> www.funnysort.

Good one.

“An abstract noun,” the
teacher said, “is
something you can
think of, but you can’t
touch it. Can you give
me an example of one?” “Sure,” a teenage boy
replied. “My father’s
new car.”

Read more funny jokes
here=>
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Teacher: You aren’t
paying attention to me.
Are you having trouble
hearing?

Pupil: No, teacher I’m
having trouble listening!

Read more funny jokes
here=>
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Teacher: Why can’t you
ever answer any of my
questions?

Pupil: Well if I could
there wouldn’t be much
point in me being here!

Read more funny jokes
here=>
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Check up Nigerian Music Charts: Top14 Freshmen of the Week
(17.08.2014 – 31.08.2014) @ www.gossiptunez.com

Two friend went to prostitute's house for sex.

The first one went in and come out and said
"Nna my wife is better than her"

The other one went in and come out and said
"you are right o! Your wife is better than her"

if u get the joke just "laugh it off"
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This fucking stuff happen between a man and his wife.

Man: my dear, it's like the light in the toilet is now automatic

Wife: what happen?

Man: when i open the door, the light came and after i urinated and close the door the light went off!

Wife: Drunk idiot! Olodo! You have gone to urinate in the fridge again, mumu!!!

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A bank manager confused with
his maths, asked his secretary
to help out, “I have $
23,000,000, what will you take
off to get 25%?”


She replied “Sir, honestly I will
take off my blouse, my skirt,
my bra even my panties”

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The following conversation
ensued between Akpos and his
wife-

Wife: Our maid is pregnant….

Akpos: That’s her problem

Wife: Neighbours are talking…

Akpos: That’s their problem..

Wife: I’m worried

Akpos: That’s your problem
Wife: They say it’s yours

Akpos: And That’s my problem..!!! So keep that your fucking mouth shut

Read more funny jokes @ www.funnysort.

Akpos’ WAEC result is Finally
Out. The following
conversation ensued between
he and his father:

Papa Akpos: Akpos,I learnt
your WAEC result is out.

Akpos: Daddy, you remember
Arthur who used to emerge
first in our class at the end of
every term ? he failed. .

Papa Akpos: That’s
terrible,what happened?

Akpors: You also remember
Izzy who used to tutor me in
the house? He failed too

Papa Akpos: what’s with the
poor performance?

Akpos: Daddy I don’t know. That’s how it is.
Even Kelvin who won the
Cowbell Science and Maths
competition failed.

Papa Akpos: so how was your
own result?

Akpos : You also remember
Osas our senior prefect? He
failed too.

Papa Akpors: (Angrily) Boy, tell
me about your own result!!

Akpos : (angrily) If all those people
failed, do you expect me to
pass? Am I a wizard?

Read more funny jokes @
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Akpors buys a new Automatic
BMW X6 sport. He drives the
car perfectly well during the
day, but at night the car just
won’t move at all. He tries
driving the car at night for a week but still no luck. He then furiously calls the BMW
dealers and they sent out a
technician to him. The
technician asks, “Sir, are you
sure you are using the right
gears?” Full of anger Akpors replies,
“You fool, idiot man, how you
could ask such a question, I’m
not stupid! I use D for the Day
and N for the Night.”
Read more funny jokes @ www.funnysort.

when will send more