I'm stucked, I don't know what to do. I don't know if the decision I'm about to take will hunt me for life.

I met Ay and Shola (fictitious) almost at the same time but the first person I dated was Ay. The only thing that was perfect between I and Ay is the sex. We are very attracted to each other sexually. In all honesty that was the best sex I ever had with any man. The very important thing that was missing is the commitment. He's not committed but I wanted more than just sex. So I've to let go.

All this while Shola had been disturbing me, finally I agreed to date him. Shola is perfect when it comes to commitment. We are doing our introduction in two weeks time. Two days ago I discovered we are not sexually compatible.

Before I take my final decision, I need your inputs. How can I make this work? Can it even be work on?

Complete the story now.....

Compatible,as in how?

What do you mean sexually not compactible? Is it that d guy cant perform at all

What is the relevance of the AY bit of the story?

If you are convinced that the Shola kind of sex is really a problem for you,seek help with him or let him go.

Yes,so that you seek out the AYs of this world.

See,sex has an essence;it is not all pleasure-focused!

I tink wat she's tryn to say is dat Shola is nt gud @ it.He no fit press am reach ground

bellong: Complete the story now.....

I don't understand

Adventurist: What do you mean sexually not compactible? Is it that d guy cant perform at all

I'm not feeling him at all.

apolonius: What is the relevance of the AY bit of the story?

If you are convinced that the Shola kind of sex is really a problem for you,seek help with him or let him go.

Yes,so that you seek out the AYs of this world.

See,sex has an essence;it is not all pleasure-focused!

Please explain this better.

Biolagurl: I tink wat she's tryn to say is dat Shola is nt gud @ it.He no fit press am reach ground

No Ma, what I'm saying is I'm not responding to him sexually

damselleen:
No Ma, what I'm saying is I'm not responding to him sexually

U don't need a 'soothsayer' to tell you that he doesn't satisfy u cos
1) U compare his performance to ur EX(s),AY inclusive.

2) U don't love.

Please don't start what u can't finish. Its better u let him be than cheat later.

damselleen:

Please explain this better.

If the problem he has is the size of his dick,for instance,then knowing that his fertility and a skillful use of it-this can be learned-matter more will keep you two happy.

If he has a large dick which he is exercising poorly,this is almost no problem. Lovingly tell him that he needs to learn to use his gift well. Any sane man will immediately get busy learning this.

Of course,be able to boldly tell him the ways he can keep you happy sexually.

luvablesam:

U don't need a 'soothsayer' to tell you that he doesn't satisfy u cos
1) U compare his performance to ur EX(s),AY inclusive.

2) U don't love.

Please don't start what u can't finish. Its better u let him be than cheat later.

Yes, you are right, I'm comparing. Ay is the only guy I've had that sexual chemistry with.

I don't love easily or that fast but I do love slow and hard. I don't know if you understand what I'm saying.

apolonius:

If the problem he has is the size of his dick,for instance,then knowing that his fertility and a skillful use of it-this can be learned-matter more will keep you two happy.

If he has a large dick which he is exercising poorly,this is almost no problem. Lovingly tell him that he needs to learn to use his gift well. Any sane man will immediately get busy learning this.

Of course,be able to boldly tell him the ways he can keep you happy sexually.

I did tell him but you know men and their pride. And that's my exact fear. What if he doesn't listen

Please can you explain further by not being sexually compatible with him.
Your explanation will determine if its something that can be rectified or not

chaircover: Please can you explain further by not being sexually compatible with him.
Your explanation will determine if its something that can be rectified or not

I don't know how to explain this without going raw. I'm more of the pre-intimacy than the main one....... honestly I don't know how to explain it further

damselleen:
I don't know how to explain this without going raw. I'm more of the pre-intimacy than the main one....... honestly I don't know how to explain it further

My dear, there is nothing too big for a knife to cut.
This is your life here, if you cant explain it to faceless internet Nigerians, then how can you explain it to him? and if you cant explain it to him, how then can he make amends if applicable?

If you say what he is doing wrong/what the problem is, then maybe some people will be able to advise you how to go about it/say to him

Whatever it is needs to be fully addressed before you marry him.

Please leave before you cheat on him with AY. You have started comparing already and I doubt your shola can measure up to your AY.

you are taking marriage for granted dear
this is why we advice against premarital sxe because you are now comparing guys in terms of sxe ....this marriage will hit in the rocks in 10min
....BTW there is nothing like sxe compactibilty we are not equipments..if two people are incompatible we agree ,but don't filter incompatibility in terms of sxeing .. its just that u are not in love that's the fact......so cancel Ur engagement before u become a collateral damage and get caught up in a crossfire...
trust me
that guy u intend to marry knows how to so it

all.guys do

Demerits of test drive. Maybe you no dey feel Shola because you always think of Ay while he is doing the thing. He has a big shoes to fill as u keep comparing. You need to get over AY first. You can teach your man how to please you.

wikiman: you are taking marriage for granted dear
this is why we advice against premarital sxe because you are now comparing guys in terms of sxe ....this marriage will hit in the rocks in 10min
....BTW there is nothing like sxe compactibilty we are not equipments..if two people are incompatible we agree ,but don't filter incompatibility in terms of sxeing .. its just that u are not in love that's the fact......so cancel Ur engagement before u become a collateral damage and get caught up in a crossfire...
trust me
that guy u intend to marry knows how to so it

all.guys do

You don't know how much I value marriage. The reason why I brought this here is to know if truly sexual compatibility matters. I do love him but is this not going to affect our marriage in the long run?

cutiemoi: Please leave before you cheat on him with AY. You have started comparing already and I doubt your shola can measure up to your AY.

I will never cheat on him physically but I will always be comparing. I've noted your advice.

damselleen:

You don't know how much I value marriage. The reason why I brought this here is to know if truly sexual compatibility matters. I do love him but is this not going to affect our marriage in the long run?

well every problem has a solution.....but I can't discuss further on an open forum like this

wikiman: well every problem has a solution.....but I can't discuss further on an open forum like this

I don't mind you discussing it openly.

All these Yorubas sef

If a guy does not have the basics of what you want why not cut him loose and move on. If you can work on it fine. If not cut your loss and move on. But intimate incompatibility is a big issue in a marriage that has an 100 per cent chance of ruining the marriage.

damselleen: I'm stucked, I don't know what to do. I don't know if the decision I'm about to take will hunt me for life.

I met Ay and Shola (fictitious) almost at the same time but the first person I dated was Ay. The only thing that was perfect between I and Ay is the sex. We are very attracted to each other sexually. In all honesty that was the best sex I ever had with any man. The very important thing that was missing is the commitment. He's not committed but I wanted more than just sex. So I've to let go.

All this while Shola had been disturbing me, finally I agreed to date him. Shola is perfect when it comes to commitment. We are doing our introduction in two weeks time. Two days ago I discovered we are not sexually compatible.

Before I take my final decision, I need your inputs. How can I make this work? Can it even be work on?

THE BEGINNING AND END OF THE MATTER BE SAY YOU TOO LIKE SE.X... FINITO

rattlesnake: All these Yorubas sef

What happened to them

Tundeiab: THE BEGINNING AND END OF THE MATTER BE SAY YOU TOO LIKE SE.X... FINITO

Lol... but I'm human.

onegig: If a guy does not have the basics of what you want why not cut him loose and move on. If you can work on it fine. If not cut your loss and move on. But intimate incompatibility is a big issue in a marriage that has an 100 per cent chance of ruining the marriage.

Noted

damselleen: I'm stucked, I don't know what to do. I don't know if the decision I'm about to take will hunt me for life.

I met Ay and Shola (fictitious) almost at the same time but the first person I dated was Ay. The only thing that was perfect between I and Ay is the sex. We are very attracted to each other sexually. In all honesty that was the best sex I ever had with any man. The very important thing that was missing is the commitment. He's not committed but I wanted more than just sex. So I've to let go.

All this while Shola had been disturbing me, finally I agreed to date him. Shola is perfect when it comes to commitment. We are doing our introduction in two weeks time. Two days ago I discovered we are not sexually compatible.

Before I take my final decision, I need your inputs. How can I make this work? Can it even be work on?

There goes...

damselleen:
Noted

however i believe you need to talk to him.

Things can always be improved on i guess. You guys just need to be open about it, work on it and be ready to seek help if necessary. He should be the one you should be discussing your fears with.