My wife and I were having a serious quarrel
when I said to her...
"pack your things and ....."
At that point, her phone rang, so I had to stop
for her to receive the call.
It was her her dad. The phone was on speaker
so I could hear what he was saying. After the
usual pleasantries between father and daughter,
he said:
"my daughter, I have transferred $1,000,000
into your account, give your husband $500,000
out of it, and you can have the other half."
After the good-byes, the call ended, and she
turned to me:
"you said I should pack my things and do
what?"
"I SAID PACK YOUR THINGS AND GIVE THEM
TO ME TO WASH."

Are u 18yrs or above? Do u av a valid ID/
passport? can u speak English and any other
language?Are u looking for a 9am-3pm job with a
monthly salary of N650.000-N900.000 and a
weekly allowance of N150.000? No work during
weekends & u only have to work haif-day on
fridays? if you're interested in this job,pls
contanct me SO DAT WE CAN LOOK FOR IT
TOGETHER.because ME SEF Dey find DAT KIND
JOB.

Don4perfect: Are u 18yrs or above? Do u av a valid ID/
passport? can u speak English and any other
language?Are u looking for a 9am-3pm job with a
monthly salary of N650.000-N900.000 and a
weekly allowance of N150.000? No work during
weekends & u only have to work haif-day on
fridays? if you're interested in this job,pls
contanct me SO DAT WE CAN LOOK FOR IT
TOGETHER.because ME SEF Dey find DAT KIND
JOB.

you be dey give me, now don spoil d whole thin. lol

"SON: Daddy, I fell in love and want to date this
awesome girl!
FATHER : That's great son. Who is she?
SON : It's Sandra, the neighbor's daughter
FATHER : Ohhh! I wish you hadn't said that. I
have to tell you something son, but you must
promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is
actually your sister.
The boy naturally bummed out, but a couple of
months later
SON: Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even
hotter! FATHER: That's great son. Who is she?
SON: It's Angela, the other neighbor's daughter.
FATHER: Ohhhh! I wish you hadn't said that.
Angela is also your sister.
This went on couple of times and the son was
so mad, he went straight to his mother: SON:
Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with
six girls but, I can't date any of them because
daddy is their father!The mother hugs him
affectionately
MOTHER: My love, you can date whoever you
want. Don't listen to him. He isn't your father."

Real confusion Is wen u steal meat frm d pot n
den forgot if d spoon was in d pot or outside the
pot""

Akpors enters a barber shop.
The barber
whispers to his customer:
BARBER: This is the dumbest
boy in the world.
Watch while I prove it to you.
The barber puts a N50 note in
one hand and
two N10 notes in the other,
then calls Akpors
and says:
BARBER: Which do you want,
boy?
Akpos takes the two N10 notes
and leaves.
The barber turned to his
customer and said,
you see, I told you he is really
dumb.
CUSTOMER: Well I’m guessing
he is just a
little confused now, he can’t
make that
mistake twice.
BARBER: I really doubt it, just
wait and I’ll
prove it to you again. (The
barber calls Akpors
back into the store one more
time and offers
him the same deal, once again
to the surprise
of the customer, Akpors picked
the 2 N10
notes instead of the N50 note).
BARBER: What did I tell you?
Akpos never
learns!
Minutes later, when the
customer left, he sees
Akpors coming out of the ice
cream store.
CUSTOMER: Akpors, May I ask
you a
question? You are obviously
old enough to
know that 2 N10 notes make
up N20 which is
less than N50, why do you
keep picking the
N10 notes instead?
Akpors smiles and says: That
barber is
always so eager to prove to
customers that I
am dumb that everyday I get
money for ice-
cream from his little game. The
day I take the
fifty naira note, the game will
definitely be
over, so it’s better I act stupid
and collect N20
everyday.