What Would You Do? - Family - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / What Would You Do? (818 Views)
| What Would You Do? by Nobody: 6:59am On Aug 22, 2014 |
Your mother leaves you barely eight months after you were born and leaves for God knows where. Never tries to contact you or your father's family she left you with in anyway all those years. And now she shows up barely two months after you lost your dad(close to twenty years she left) asking to see you. To beg for forgiveness. I initially thought i could forgive her but now, i'm in an entirely different state of mind. What will you do if you where to be the son? See her and forgive her? Or shun her and move on? |
| Re: What Would You Do? by MizMyColi(f): 7:03am On Aug 22, 2014 |
Gotta head for work now. I'll be back so we can analyze. But in the end, there's no sweeter revenge than forgiveness |
| Re: What Would You Do? by Nobody: 7:10am On Aug 22, 2014 |
My advice to you forgive her but don't make her a big part of your life. If she can leave you at the time when you needed her most she will do it again. |
| Re: What Would You Do? by Tallesty1(m): 7:45am On Aug 22, 2014 |
Gotta forgive her for my own peace of mind but she's lost her place forever. |
| Re: What Would You Do? by Tallesty1(m): 7:47am On Aug 22, 2014 |
KiddaBlingzz: Your mother leaves you barely eight months after you were born and leaves for God knows where. Never tries to contact you or your father's family she left you with in anyway all those years. And now she shows up barely two months after you lost your dad(close to twenty years she left) asking to see you. To beg for forgiveness.Did your father or anybody tell you why she left? |
| Re: What Would You Do? by Nobody: 7:49am On Aug 22, 2014 |
Forgive her and see how things go from there. You could even become best of friends eventually. It's well Bro  |
| Re: What Would You Do? by Dygeasy(m): 7:57am On Aug 22, 2014 |
You have the answer you need already. She definitely has lost her place as a mother forever but for your own inner peace, just forgive her. |
| Re: What Would You Do? by naijaboiy: 7:59am On Aug 22, 2014 |
Bro... You don't have a choice but to forgive her... I know it's difficult and may take time... But you gat to forgive  |
| Re: What Would You Do? by MizMyColi(f): 8:06am On Aug 22, 2014 |
First off Love, I'm sorry, very sorry about your Dad.  But you'll need to see her, you need to hear her out. You need to know why she was absent for almost 2 decades of your existence. Was she legally married? Was she "jazzed" into leaving you and Dad (bless his memory)? What's her point for leaving? These are the things you need to know for starters. I need to warn you though, the outcome of the discussion might not be palatable. Whatever happens, you need to make up your mind to let go of your hurts. It'll take time definitely, but what matters is that the will is there, To Forgive Her. |
| Re: What Would You Do? by obayaya(m): 8:29am On Aug 22, 2014 |
MizMyColi: Jazz ke? If that excuse as much as leave her mouth, it'll be difficult restricting myself from smacking her!!!  Any other reason but "jazzed" or "devil's handwork" is worth listening to. 2 Likes |
| Re: What Would You Do? by MizMyColi(f): 8:34am On Aug 22, 2014 |
obayaya:Ah was only trying to take excuse for her noni, surely there has to be an explanation. Inasmuch as I don't credit vodoo, shhiii happens y'know |
| Re: What Would You Do? by Nobody: 8:42am On Aug 22, 2014 |
Khalessi: My advice to you forgive her but don't make her a big part of your life. If she can leave you at the time when you needed her most she will do it again.Do you know why she left?? Do you know whether she was been abused? Or maybe they divorced and the custody of the child granted to the father? ? For her to show up after her husband died seems to me like the couple had a huge disagreement. You need to know why she left before saying. ...... Afterall if she was been abused, so many here would have advised her to quit the marriage, then maybe the husband/husband's family didn't allow her go with the baby... Op, you need to hear her out..but all in all, you need to forgive.. |
| Re: What Would You Do? by Nobody: 8:45am On Aug 22, 2014 |
MarvellousGod: Do you know why she left?? Do you know whether she was been abused? Or maybe they divorced and the custody of the child granted to the father? ? For her to show up after her husband died seems to me like the couple had a huge disagreement. You need to know why she left before saying. ......She has no valid reason to leave an 8 month old baby for twenty years without any contact, abused or not. |
| Re: What Would You Do? by obayaya(m): 8:48am On Aug 22, 2014 |
MizMyColi: Ah was only trying to take excuse for her noni, surely there has to be an explanation. Inasmuch as I don't credit vodoo, shhiii happens y'know Yeah.. Shiii happens... But the truth is that people will always hide under cloak of spirituality to justify their inactions and mistakes. And that to me isn't acceptable. 2 Likes |
| Re: What Would You Do? by Nobody: 8:53am On Aug 22, 2014 |
Khalessi:We don't really know the story well so can't say..do you know whether she tried or do you know how life was for her after she left? Not trying to say leaving an 8 month baby was a wonderful thing to do but we got to know her reasons first because no sane woman will do that..  |
| Re: What Would You Do? by Nobody: 9:03am On Aug 22, 2014 |
MarvellousGod: We don't really know the story well so can't say..do you know whether she tried or do you know how life was for her after she left?Am a mother and nothing except death can keep me away from my kids. In this era of easy communication even a Facebook search, a phone call,old friends and so many different ways his mom could have connected with him and she didn't. She waited until his dad the only parent he's know for years to pass on before she shows up. She has an ulterior motive. |
| Re: What Would You Do? by MizMyColi(f): 9:07am On Aug 22, 2014 |
obayaya:Exactly. Talk of religious fanaticism leading to a dearth of simple application of logic and rationalility. Kiddablingzz, where u @? |
| Re: What Would You Do? by Nobody: 9:12am On Aug 22, 2014 |
Khalessi:I love your first sentence  ...I still maintain we don't know where life took her to or how it treated her and so may had hindered her using those communication means you mentioned.... Nevertheless, it was such a heartless thing to do shaaa but still need the full gist before I conclude. . Goodday.. |
| Re: What Would You Do? by obayaya(m): 9:26am On Aug 22, 2014 |
MizMyColi: Exactly. Talk of religious fanaticism leading to a dearth of simple application of logic and rationalility. Gbam 2 Likes |
| Re: What Would You Do? by obayaya(m): 9:27am On Aug 22, 2014 |
.... 1 Like |
| Re: What Would You Do? by Nobody: 11:58am On Aug 22, 2014 |
MarvellousGod: We don't really know the story well so can't say..do you know whether she tried or do you know how life was for her after she left? Tallesty1: Did your father or anybody tell you why she left? MarvellousGod: We don't really know the story well so can't say..do you know whether she tried or do you know how life was for her after she left? Tallesty1: Did your father or anybody tell you why she left?she was a muslim and my dad a christian. She was asked to leave me and dad by her father cos he was a christian. That is the only excuse(if i can call it that) she has |
| Re: What Would You Do? by Kanwulia: 12:05pm On Aug 22, 2014 |
Better late than never. Accept her apology and MOVE ON! I don't know her. . . and will not care to know her. Some pasts are best left where they are. IN THE PAST!  |
| Re: What Would You Do? by Nobody: 12:21pm On Aug 22, 2014 |
Forgiveness does not have to be instant it may take a while but start the process. Forgiveness does not mean you have to act like what she did is O.k with you. |
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