I have heard time and time again of how devoted Christians pray for a sign to accompany their spouse's arrival into their lives. Some say it happened just as they prayed.

My personal experience with this has not been same. I generally do not ask for signs from God before I take decisions so I had a disconnect when my ex had all manner of signs from dreams, to messages from his pastor and mother about our relationship.

He is now married so I wonder how he reconciles all the revelations he had to his present actions.

What experiences had you had concerning this...

Thinking....

Dearie, 'he who FINDS a wife findeth a good thing...'. Yes, you can ask God to show who the best is. Note, I did not say the special or only. You see, there are thousand and one persons to us; we obtain favour when we find one.

Asking for a sign could be dangerous. It is called FLEECING. Though most Christians fleece while believing God is at work. Nothing is wrong in praying to God for a partner and asking Him to give you someone that best compliment you. Just that most umarried people walk around with pride and assurance, believing they have heard from God as touching their partner, without knowing they fleeced and often times allow their heart to judge instead of God. I have several scenarios around me and I have come to discover that majority of those who claim to have got the green light in their relationship never heard from God. They simply fleeced the situation.

Sanchez01: Dearie, 'he who FINDS a wife findeth a good thing...'. Yes, you can ask God to show who the best is. Note, I did not say the special or only. You see, there are thousand and one persons to us; we obtain favour when we find one.

Asking for a sign could be dangerous. It is called FLEECING. Though most Christians fleece while believing God is at work. Nothing is wrong in praying to God for a partner and asking Him to give you someone that best compliment you. Just that most umarried people walk around with pride and assurance, believing they have heard from God as touching their partner, without knowing they fleeced and often times allow their heart to judge instead of God. I have several scenarios around me and I have come to discover that majority of those who claim to have got the green light in their relationship never heard from God. They simply fleeced the situation.

So fleecing in itself is not wrong? It seems to open up doors for us to interpret situations without hearing directly from God.
I am not disputing the fact that God sometimes speaks through signs.

maryini:
So fleecing in itself is not wrong? It seems to open up doors for us to interpret situations without hearing directly from God.
I am not disputing the fact that God sometimes speaks through signs.

Fleecing is very wrong. It gives the devil an avenue for him to manipulate us since we trust more in signs than God Himself. Take for instance, a brother says 'God, let the lady I want to marry wear a blue or a red gown, and let her sit beside, behind or in front of me OR Dear Lord, if a lady smiles at me in church today, I'll take her as a wife because I believe it is a sign from you.'

When we fleece, we unconsciously shove God aside and trust more in signs than what He intend or has in stock for us. God does speak through signs, but it is dangerous when we ask God to do so, rather than desire to hear that still small voice. The moment one starts to hear from God, signs play less roles in the interpretation of meanings, particularly when choosing a partner. Most singles tend to confuse their heart with God's guidance; thus, making it hard for them to thread on the path God has designed for them.

Sanchez01:
Fleecing is very wrong. It gives the devil an avenue for him to manipulate us since we trust more in signs than God Himself. Take for instance, a brother says 'God, let the lady I want to marry wear a blue or a red gown, and let her sit beside, behind or in front of me OR Dear Lord, if a lady smiles at me in church today, I'll take her as a wife because I believe it is a sign from you.'

When we fleece, we unconsciously shove God aside and trust more in signs than what He intend or has in stock for us. God does speak through signs, but it is dangerous when we ask God to do so, rather than desire to hear that still small voice. The moment one starts to hear from God, signs play less roles in the interpretation of meanings, particularly when choosing a partner. Most singles tend to confuse their heart with God's guidance; thus, making it hard for them to thread on the path God has designed for them.

My thoughts exactly.

This leads to the idea of soul mates...there seems to be a correlation between fleecing and believing that there is only one partner for children of God. Ppl with this school of thought seek a sign to confirm that he or she is that one person they have to be with to fulfil their purpose here on earth.

Following

maryini: I have heard time and time again of how devoted Christians pray for a sign to accompany their spouse's arrival into their lives. Some say it happened just as they prayed.

My personal experience with this has not been same. I generally do not ask for signs from God before I take decisions so I had a disconnect when my ex had all manner of signs from dreams, to messages from his pastor and mother about our relationship.

He is now married so I wonder how he reconciles all the revelations he had to his present actions.

.

Hmmm

maryini:
My thoughts exactly.

This leads to the idea of soul mates...there seems to be a correlation between fleecing and believing that there is only one partner for children of God. Ppl with this school of thought seek a sign to confirm that he or she is that one person they have to be with to fulfil their purpose here on earth.

You are right. And just to expatiate something you highlighted; there is no such thing as a soul mate. God, in a way, has placed several people in the world for us to pick or choose from among them.

Fleecing truly backs the idea of the soul mate theory, which ought not to be. The soul mate theory or syndrome is invented by poets and found in those who live in a world of fantasy and acclaimed perfection. God did not design His children with such mentality.

The disconnect arises because people are quick to rush into relationships whereas in fact what you need is not that.

itstpia1: The disconnect arises because people are quick to rush into relationships whereas in fact what you need is not that.

Please shed more light on what you mean....

Sanchez01:
You are right. And just to expatiate something you highlighted; there is no such thing as a soul mate. God, in a way, has placed several people in the world for us to pick or choose from among them.

Fleecing truly backs the idea of the soul mate theory, which ought not to be. The soul mate theory or syndrome is invented by poets and found in those who live in a world of fantasy and acclaimed perfection. God did not design His children with such mentality.

Word! But then what would you advice as the christian way of assessing a suitor?

maryini:
Word! But then what would you advice as the christian way of assessing a suitor?

Above all things, we have been commanded on not being unequally yoked with unbelievers. For Christians, there are several ways for assessing a suitor. However, I believe conversing is the best way of assessing suitors. True some of them might pretend to be who they are not the understanding and maturity of such persons (spiritual and physical) come into play. Most suitors may claim to be too smart in responding 'perfectly' but a direct confrontation cum questioning is a way of knowing whom you are planning on committing to.

I'll suggest questions such as;

What are the evidences of your salvation?

What do you understand to be the role of baptism?

What do you understand to be God’s purposes/priorities for the church?

What do you see as the man’s role in the local church? Your own role?

What do you see as your wife’s role in local church ministry (if at all you as the woman has or intend having one)?

How would those who know you well describe your personal character?

What is your view of Christian liberty? How does this view affect your lifestyle?

What are your habits with regard to prayer and Bible study?

What would you say is/are your spiritual gift(s)?

What are your spiritual strengths?

What is your father’s understanding of Christianity? How would you describe your father’s personal character?

What is your mother’s understanding of Christianity? How would you describe your mother’s personal character?

Recognizing we are all imperfect, in what one or two areas do you think God wants you to improve the most?

Do you have a teachable spirit? Can you cite any examples?


My questions might be 'too' spiritual but I can assure you that it takes a suitor who is indeed 'worthy' or 'ready' and duly mature in Christ to respond to these questions the way you want. Most Christian sisters have paid terribly for judging suitors based on church attendance. This is not a good idea; the worst kind of people attend church the most.

yes, your questions do sound too spiritual although they need to be asked.

you should include other non- religious enquiries such as favorites book/s, game, music, etc, life experiences outside religion, etc. Which sites are they on, do they play video games, what type, etc.


someone answering all your questions by rote to your satisfaction, doesnt necessarily mean they are spiritual in the way you want them to be.

itstpia1: yes, your questions do sound too spiritual although they need to be asked.

you should include other non- religious enquiries such as favorites book/s, game, music, etc, life experiences outside religion, etc. Which sites are they on, do they play video games, what type, etc.


someone answering all your questions by rote to your satisfaction, doesnt necessarily mean they are spiritual in the way you want them to be.

You are on point. I totally agree. Secular things also count. It is not about the 'Spirit' everytime.

True, the potential partner would do well to know something about the secular interests ( if any), the prospective suitor has.