is well my sister. God will see you through. Truly wonders abound

Tucees: I'm 5 weeks pregnant and its my first! So excited and grateful to God for taking away my shame... But the devil seems hell bent on keeping me shamed!! For 2 years I was in a relationship engaged to be married but on the condition that I conceive first before a date is fixed! We tried for years nothing happened not even a miscarriage! Eventually we parted ways cos his family said I was a "fruitless tree". Months later I met another guy who also wanted to marry me, until some time in May when he traveled to see his people and came back saying that his family did some spiritual consultation and they were informed that I can't bare children so he can't marry me!!! I felt my world crumble again as we parted ways in June 3rd. On June 9th a business friend of mine came over to my office and as he was about to leave he kissed me on the lips I resisted at first but he held me tight and I soon gave in that marked the beginning of another relationship. Saturday July 5th on his birthday he asked me to marry him in the presence of his friends and family... Was I excited? Not really. I got a feeling of deja vu as the ring slide into my finger I only managed a smile and people thought I was too shy to express my joy not knowing that I was dreading the impending breakup! As I was sure he will soon find out that I can't bare children. August 8th we made love and he traveled out the next day. Two weeks later precisely on monday August 25 I did a home pregnancy test just out of curiosity my period was suppose to come that day and I was feeling odd. It showed a faint pink line I held my breath and did a repeat test on Wed 27 it was a Big Fat Pink!!! I couldn't believe the fact that I'm after all a fruitful tree? I praised and thanked God as I waited for my fiancé to return so I can share the goodnews with him. He came back on friday and I got the shocker of my life!!! He told me without mincing words that I have to get rid of the pregnancy that he wasn't ready to have a child just yet. Yesterday saturday my parents invited him along with his uncle and wife(his parents are late) the matter was tabled and he told me and everyone there that if I don't get rid of the pregnancy he will call off our engagement!!! His reason was that he wanted to be married for at least 2 years before having children that I want to deny him his desire and put his plans for the future in disarray. My father got upset and told him to get lost and he left even though I pleaded with him to see reasons why I simply can't do what he is asking of me! He has since changed his relationship status on fb from engaged to single and has also deleted me from his bbm contact and removed our picture from his whatsapp dp! He called me this evening to say we are through and that am on my own if I choose to keep the baby. One thing is certain I am definitely going to keep this baby and I pray for a safe pregnancy and delivery! I need you Nlders to include me and my baby in your prayers! I've been so restless and my heart is beating so fast I can barely breath I fear for my life and that of my unborn bundle of miracle

Hmmmm all this long post without paragraph na wa woo.

..My dear, am xoxo happy for you....atleast, you have prove to the world you are not a 'fruitless tree'......pls keep the baby, dont abort it...

..As for the man, leave him....He ll come back to his senses...he might be lucky and might not be too lucky.....My God that provide and feed the birds in the sky will provide for you and your baby....

Hmm....so much joy at being pregnant before marriage


I'm other news sha:

We put 6 past everton, while Man u and arsenal drew with burnley and leichester respectively. Not forgetting, man city lost

Congratulations tucees I see the hand of God in this do not be dismayed. Try not to worry but believe that God will perfect that which He has started in your life!! This could be a test hang in there and DON'T!! terminate the pregnancy. My prayers will be with you and by the special grace of God your baby daddy will accept his child and marry you and both of you will raise this child in a loving home. The Lord is your strength #HUGs#

You believed you were fruitless cos someone said so without any medical proof I feel like smacking your bum for that (no homo).


Your baby-father-to-be is a useless jerk Who makes unprotected love when he knows he doesn't want a baby in 2 years......and for a relationship of 3 months that is leading to marriage, it just didn't escape his big mouth that he doesn't want a baby anytime soon anyways, he's gone.


now, back to you-you get mouth oo, you hooked up with another guy 1 week after a break-up, waoh! You must get some strength emotionally.....one week after a breakup, I'll still be using my ex's name to sing every morning
Anyways, if you decide to keep your baby (be ready for all that comes with single parenting, the father might NEVER come back, and he might), think things through very well and I wish you a safe pregnancy and delivery.

Tucees: I'm 5 weeks pregnant and its my first! So excited and grateful to God for taking away my shame... But the devil seems hell bent on keeping me shamed!! For 2 years I was in a relationship engaged to be married but on the condition that I conceive first before a date is fixed! We tried for years nothing happened not even a miscarriage! Eventually we parted ways cos his family said I was a "fruitless tree". Months later I met another guy who also wanted to marry me, until some time in May when he traveled to see his people and came back saying that his family did some spiritual consultation and they were informed that I can't bare children so he can't marry me!!! I felt my world crumble again as we parted ways in June 3rd. On June 9th a business friend of mine came over to my office and as he was about to leave he kissed me on the lips I resisted at first but he held me tight and I soon gave in that marked the beginning of another relationship. Saturday July 5th on his birthday he asked me to marry him in the presence of his friends and family... Was I excited? Not really. I got a feeling of deja vu as the ring slide into my finger I only managed a smile and people thought I was too shy to express my joy not knowing that I was dreading the impending breakup! As I was sure he will soon find out that I can't bare children. August 8th we made love and he traveled out the next day. Two weeks later precisely on monday August 25 I did a home pregnancy test just out of curiosity my period was suppose to come that day and I was feeling odd. It showed a faint pink line I held my breath and did a repeat test on Wed 27 it was a Big Fat Pink!!! I couldn't believe the fact that I'm after all a fruitful tree? I praised and thanked God as I waited for my fiancé to return so I can share the goodnews with him. He came back on friday and I got the shocker of my life!!! He told me without mincing words that I have to get rid of the pregnancy that he wasn't ready to have a child just yet. Yesterday saturday my parents invited him along with his uncle and wife(his parents are late) the matter was tabled and he told me and everyone there that if I don't get rid of the pregnancy he will call off our engagement!!! His reason was that he wanted to be married for at least 2 years before having children that I want to deny him his desire and put his plans for the future in disarray. My father got upset and told him to get lost and he left even though I pleaded with him to see reasons why I simply can't do what he is asking of me! He has since changed his relationship status on fb from engaged to single and has also deleted me from his bbm contact and removed our picture from his whatsapp dp! He called me this evening to say we are through and that am on my own if I choose to keep the baby. One thing is certain I am definitely going to keep this baby and I pray for a safe pregnancy and delivery! I need you Nlders to include me and my baby in your prayers! I've been so restless and my heart is beating so fast I can barely breath I fear for my life and that of my unborn bundle of miracle

.

@OP
all is well, and congratulation on your pregnancy, but i have to give you some undiluted MBJ truth here...... so here it goes:

[b]- just because you and your exes "thought" you were sterile shouldnt be a reason to lose this great guy here today. you are not thinking right, and using all the BS of the past to think wrongly and dismiss this great guy. if you aint sterile then you can have a baby later when you guys are "READY", there is no rush here.

- nobody should wish to be a single mother and you guys should have talked about this before having unprotected sex. how can you assume and expect this guy to want to be a father when you guys are A) not even married and B) not comfortably settled in life to have a family "yet".

- a child needs a father (YES THEY DO), even though many do without one, and your duty as a mother is to make sure that all the necessary precautions are met so he/she does. what you are doing should have been the last resort.

- your action simply show your desperation to show the whole world that you are NOT barren, like everyone pictured you to be in the past, at all costs ("after TTC for God knows how long" as you wrote it yourself). how can you jump in another guys arm so quickly? funny how you expected this r/ship to end soon yet, now you pregnant and want to keep the baby? do you even like the guy or it is just about you you and only you? this pregnancy is an accident, and you are not ready to have this baby, no matter how desperate you are.

- i think the way you went about this issue is wrong on so many levels and also very selfish. you guys should have sat down (like adults do) talk extensively about this, see eye to eye on the issue, hopefully get some UNDERSTANDING as to why both of you want what you want, and hopefully continue being a happy couple. how can you say:" i want that baby and nothing can change my mind" without for one second trying to put yourself in this man's shoes?

- then down the line when you are alone and miserable raising a child on your own, you will talk shiit about baby daddy this and baby daddy that. you are NOT emotionally ready to have a child; the reason you want to have that child is WRONG; your stand on that r/ship is WRONG; you not knowing that man, yet wanting his baby is WRONG; you thinking that this baby will wash away your barren status shame of the past is WRONG; good luck in your future life as a single mother, i know it wont be easy.[/b]

Dear lady, please know your worth!

Why are you living your life to please others? You met a man on June 1st, by July 1st, he's proposed, kissed you and unprotected kpekus.

So, you're on the pathway to being a single mom, I hope you know what you're getting yourself into

All the men you've been with, know what they want, laid it bare at the table from get-go but same can't be said of you, my lady. I hope you learn from this and be a better person for and to yourself.

All the best.

Tucees: I'm 5 weeks pregnant and its my first! So excited and grateful to God for taking away my shame... But the devil seems hell bent on keeping me shamed!! For 2 years I was in a relationship engaged to be married but on the condition that I conceive first before a date is fixed! We tried for years nothing happened not even a miscarriage! Eventually we parted ways cos his family said I was a "fruitless tree". Months later I met another guy who also wanted to marry me, until some time in May when he traveled to see his people and came back saying that his family did some spiritual consultation and they were informed that I can't bare children so he can't marry me!!! I felt my world crumble again as we parted ways in June 3rd. On June 9th a business friend of mine came over to my office and as he was about to leave he kissed me on the lips I resisted at first but he held me tight and I soon gave in that marked the beginning of another relationship. Saturday July 5th on his birthday he asked me to marry him in the presence of his friends and family... Was I excited? Not really. I got a feeling of deja vu as the ring slide into my finger I only managed a smile and people thought I was too shy to express my joy not knowing that I was dreading the impending breakup! As I was sure he will soon find out that I can't bare children. August 8th we made love and he traveled out the next day. Two weeks later precisely on monday August 25 I did a home pregnancy test just out of curiosity my period was suppose to come that day and I was feeling odd. It showed a faint pink line I held my breath and did a repeat test on Wed 27 it was a Big Fat Pink!!! I couldn't believe the fact that I'm after all a fruitful tree? I praised and thanked God as I waited for my fiancé to return so I can share the goodnews with him. He came back on friday and I got the shocker of my life!!! He told me without mincing words that I have to get rid of the pregnancy that he wasn't ready to have a child just yet. Yesterday saturday my parents invited him along with his uncle and wife(his parents are late) the matter was tabled and he told me and everyone there that if I don't get rid of the pregnancy he will call off our engagement!!! His reason was that he wanted to be married for at least 2 years before having children that I want to deny him his desire and put his plans for the future in disarray. My father got upset and told him to get lost and he left even though I pleaded with him to see reasons why I simply can't do what he is asking of me! He has since changed his relationship status on fb from engaged to single and has also deleted me from his bbm contact and removed our picture from his whatsapp dp! He called me this evening to say we are through and that am on my own if I choose to keep the baby. One thing is certain I am definitely going to keep this baby and I pray for a safe pregnancy and delivery! I need you Nlders to include me and my baby in your prayers! I've been so restless and my heart is beating so fast I can barely breath I fear for my life and that of my unborn bundle of miracle

Getting engaged or getting married does not mean a person wants to start having kids right away. For some of us, getting to learn how to live with each other and run the household before children is not a bad thing. More importantly, the guy might have specific targets in terms of financial comfort and aspirations that he wants to achieve before having kids. I salute his courage in not allowing himself to be entrapped, no man should have to endure that and what kind of marriage would you have with a man that feels he was blackmailed into marrying you?

Believe it or not, accept it or not, the buck stops with the woman. Morning after pills are available to prevent pregnancy if you must have unprotected sex. A man not using protection does not automatically equate wanting to have a baby with you, especially when you are not yet married to each other.

Well, the deed is done. You have made your choice and he has made his. If you can't work out a compromise, sounds like you may not have been that much into each other in the first place so maybe it's for the best. The speed with which he deleted you from his life and the desperation that made you involve your family members confirms that. If a man does not want you, no point involving family members to pressure him into a marriage he does not desire. If you cannot sort out your issues without inviting family in, you probably should not be married.

You have both learned lessons - being engaged without a discussion and agreement on childbearing is not a licence to get pregnant (you) and when you have unprotected sex, you are risking an unwanted pregnancy (him). Other people will learn from your experience. Best wishes.

You have no idea what you want, seem to have no standards you just live to please others, and little regard for personal health or safety ( I really hope you and these men knew each others HIV and other STD test results before having unprotected se-x).

Did you at any point go to the hospital to do a check? Do you ovuluate normally? Do you have irregular periods? Are the men themselves able to produce spe-rm and make babies? If anyone questions your fertility these should be the first step.

As for the man you just met and are now pregnant for why didnt he wrap it up? You were too desperate to prove your fertility to this one that you didnt even talk about what both of you wanted first.

Please please for the sake of your child no more irrational decisions now. Calm down and take stock. Are you able to provide for this child? Even if he doesnt want marriage its stillhis child whats the arrangement for the childs welfare?
And I beg you dont go begging him because if you beg and beg and he reluctantly marries you he will hold that against you forever, let him come on his own terms if he would, if he wouldnt let him be and focus on how you both will raise the child.

Its late now to give advise but for young ladies listening please before having unprotected se-x make sure you know both your status and the other persons status.
Secondly if anyone doubts your fertility go to the hospital and find out if anything iswrong with you, the problem may be with them.

Thirdly, know what you want in a relationship, have your own standards and dont just twist and turn to satisfy others just so you can marry

MMotimo:

Getting engaged or getting married does not mean a person wants to start having kids right away. For some of us, getting to learn how to live with each other and run the household before children is not a bad thing. More importantly, the guy might have specific targets in terms of financial comfort and aspirations that he wants to achieve before having kids. I salute his courage in not allowing himself to be entrapped, no man should have to endure that and what kind of marriage would you have with a man that feels he was blackmailed into marrying you?

Believe it or not, accept it or not, the buck stops with the woman. Morning after pills are available to prevent pregnancy if you must have unprotected sex. A man not using protection does not automatically equate wanting to have a baby with you, especially when you are not yet married to each other.

What are you even on about? ? How does telling someone you're pregnant for him translate to entrapping him? He didn't want a baby yet had unprotected sex. .btw, what's the primary reason for sex if not procreation? ? You actually expect a girl to take some pills whenever you have sex with her? Like your di*k can't contain a condom or wait till you put a ring on her finger?? She takes pills, damages her organs gradually while you stay stay hale and hearty? ? Smh. ...




Op, have no advice for you because this story sounds like it was made up....your bf told you, you must take in before he marries you and you agreed? ? You even tried with him for years? ? Chaiiiii, so smh..which kind desperation be this
You met a guy and same day he planted a kiss on your lips, a month later he's already proposing and you started having unprotected sex with him??

Abeg, this your story no just follow...

What a sad story

Anyway, most people have told you the truth.
You sold yourself too cheap, and its whatever price tag that you put on your wares, that people will pay.

When people say men and women are equal, they dont know how wrong they are.

You are now left with holding the baby whilst he is now free, single and ready to mingle and from the sounds of him, it wont take him long to find another. Look how easy it was to get you. He came to your office and started kissing you and that was it; now you are left with the broken peices to pick up.

If this hadnt happened, its likely that something else would have. Realistically how much do you know a man you only met 3 months ago? of which he has been out of the country for one month. So you really only know him for 2 months.

I saw your post on the TTC thread where you said you couldnt wait for him to come back and he will be over the moon. As you can see, you nerver really knew the guy.

The only thing now is to tie your belt and have it at the back of your mind that he may or may never come back. So get prepared for the worst case scenario. At least now you know that if another man comes round, you cant be held to ransom regarding fertility issues. So you know how to behave if this man doesnt come back and you meet someone else.

MarvellousGod: You actually expect a girl to take some pills whenever you have sex with her? Like your di*k can't contain a condom or wait till you put a ring on her finger?? She takes pills, damages her organs gradually while you stay stay hale and hearty? ? Smh. ...

She is not a man

Congratulations on your pregnancy.I have to tell you however that you might end up being a single mother,so be prepared for it.

But na wa o.So if 10men come along for you to prove you are fertile,they all will have unprotected sex with you?Are you not afraid of STDs and HIV?Some men sef too.You just meet a lady and you go skin-to-skin without knowing what type of men she has been with.

O di egwu o.

SMH for people who have to go 'somewhere' to find out if their future wife is fertile or not.

Nne why didn't you go to hospital yourself to get a fertility test when you were TTC? Instead of swallowing their lies hook line and sinker. Thereby turning yourself into a desperado?

I can't imagine a guy telling me I must take in before we get married. He won't even finish the sentence before I push him' outta the door.

What nonsense!
We women should learn to stop valuing ourselves based on the dictates of man.

I wish you safe delivery and may your child be a bundle of joy and a fountain of blessings to you.

I really dont know what to say,but the first time i noticed you was because of your comment

Tucees: 19 and it almost happened but guys that age or around that age like say 22 don't have marriage on their minds so I was left with having to choose from the 36 upwards age bracket and mum and dad and elder ones gave a big hell NO!! Now that I'm 30 and still single they can't stop breathing down my neck asking me when I wanna get married?? I'm like that was 11 years ago

I can understand that you are under pressure and there is no doubt that everything from your parents wanting you married and your need of having a child played a great deal on you.

You not old,you are 30 dear,why on earth would you want to be a single mum and give up on yourself so soon.
I dont want to sound judgmental because i really don't know the pressure you are under.But one thing i know is that you have a lot to offer in life than to be someone's wife or mother.At 30 you should not have let people make you believe that you could not have kids,as long as they have not gone to the doctor to confirm.

To men out there when they see a lady who has pass her twenties,all they think is fertility.Are you God?

And for you my sister,all i want to tell you is that you should trade well and be careful.You are pregnant already and what is done is done.
After having this child,please concentrate on the child and make yourself worthy.Don't be too desperate,it is not easy but please try.


It is well.May God give you the fortitude and wisdom to go through all this.

edwife:

To men out there when they see a lady who has pass her twenties,all they think is fertility.Are you God?

Dont blame the men fully.. Some women have been places

Congratulations Op! I wish you safe delivery.

pickabeau1:

Dont blame the men fully.. Some women have been places

I don't even blame the men at all. I blame the women that have been following men to those places

Godmystrength: I don't even blame the men at all. I blame the women that have been following men to those places

Both sides have some share of the blame

I just hope u have stable income in order to take care of your baby or babies



Goodluck dearie

Tucees: For 2 years I was in a relationship engaged to be married but on the condition that I conceive first before a date is fixed!

Tucees: Months later I met another guy who also wanted to marry me.............

She knows how to read and write, so she's not an illiterate.

She is on NL, so she obviously doesn't live in a cage.

I am confused...............who is this lady??

My ernest prayer for you along with the one you asked for is that you learn from this and place a worth on yourself and not give society the satisfaction anymore. So far from your words, am sure you 'l keep the baby(good) but i fear you may still give yourself more shame you are dreading if you move to bring him back. He was a BIZFRIEND not even FRIEND(didnt know him). Cant you see he came to use you to achieve his plans but nature used him to achieve your desire. He 'knows' you culdnt concieve(wont be surprised you naively chipped it in) from somewhere hence he proposed less than a month without laying his cards(4get the friends and face book, all na scam). He still would have dumped you after achieving his plans on thesame grounds of infertility. I dont think any serious sane guy would have proposed in that time frame, have unprotected ssex yet doesnt want kids now and not tell you before putting a ring to your finger. Do i still need to tell you he NEVER loved you and was fake. Just forgive him(perhaps God 'll have mercy on him and give him sense to retrace his child as he lacks it), THEN MOVE ON! IT CAN STILL BE BRIGHTER AHEAD. Dnt fool yourself anymore because HAD HE LOVED YOU, your being pregnant for him is not enough to treat you so, even if it was not his immediate priority.

Coldfeet: Congratulations tucees I see the hand of God in this do not be dismayed. Try not to worry but believe that God will perfect that which He has started in your life!! This could be a test hang in there and DON'T!! terminate the pregnancy. My prayers will be with you and by the special grace of God your baby daddy will accept his child and marry you and both of you will raise this child in a loving home. The Lord is your strength #HUGs#

I really wonder the Church dis one goes to or the God she's talking about?


@o.p..am sorry but u sound really silly n immature. Wat sort of person gets engaged a month after starting a relationship or plans (yes...PLANS) a pregnancy without d approval or agreement of d father to be? ??

U couldn't take in after 2 years, did it occur t u that it mite b a male factor issue, or wen d prophet saw his vision, y couldn't u go run tests n stuffs t certify urself fit? ??
The best way t u was t go get pregnant.

..n f dse waiting t criticize, d ONUS lies on d woman t INSIST on protection. She has d 'goods' , she dets how, when n what.

Given, the guy should have been more understanding esp t someone he wants t marry but that still doesn't exonerate d o.p.
O.p. seems like d typical, unthinking, desperate Nigerian.

#am out joor

MarvellousGod: What are you even on about? ? How does telling someone you're pregnant for him translate to entrapping him? He didn't want a baby yet had unprotected sex. .btw, what's the primary reason for sex if not procreation? ? You actually expect a girl to take some pills whenever you have sex with her? Like your di*k can't contain a condom or wait till you put a ring on her finger?? She takes pills, damages her organs gradually while you stay stay hale and hearty? ? Smh. ...




Op, have no advice for you because this story sounds like it was made up....your bf told you, you must take in before he marries you and you agreed? ? You even tried with him for years? ? Chaiiiii, so smh..which kind desperation be this
You met a guy and same day he planted a kiss on your lips, a month later he's already proposing and you started having unprotected sex with him??

Abeg, this your story no just follow...

Well to u it myt look made up bt that's what happens in real lyf,pressure from in-laws who bliv in der tradition so much forgetting dis is d 21st century,sumtyms we do tinz nt bcoz it's our wish bt coz wev got to do it coz of love#toughLove#loveIsSacrificial so u knt blame her or dos in her shoes,it takes been in a sum ones shoes to no how painful it is.she has made d mistake n m sure she has learnt.i always advise IF U RE NOT RESSPONSIBLE ENOUGH TO BEAR D CONSEQUENCES OF S**(either protected or unprotected) den dnt Boda practicing d act or just be wise in doin it.its actually sadning dat despite all d preaching we get from our churches and mosques most ppl still bear kids knowingly outta wedlock(aldoe I was born b4 my parents weddn)nt all of dos kids turn out most especially wen dey dnt no der fada.as for me my utmost rule is NO ABORTION if we were matured enough to practice d act n it leaked den we should be responsible enough to display d result.imagine if Mary had aborted Jesus bcoz of all ppl said n judging wif d fact she was getting married soon without even knowing who got ha preggy,sir wesly(founder of methodist)as I heard could have been aborted,justin bieber,Celine Dion,pope john Paul 2ND and d list goes on and on.plz let's face d consequences of our action.i won't advice u to beg d man aswell bt at least keep ur bby,lets b logical n realistic here

MarvellousGod: What are you even on about? ? How does telling someone you're pregnant for him translate to entrapping him? He didn't want a baby yet had unprotected sex. .btw, what's the primary reason for sex if not procreation? ? You actually expect a girl to take some pills whenever you have sex with her? Like your di*k can't contain a condom or wait till you put a ring on her finger?? She takes pills, damages her organs gradually while you stay stay hale and hearty? ? Smh. ...




Op, have no advice for you because this story sounds like it was made up....your bf told you, you must take in before he marries you and you agreed? ? You even tried with him for years? ? Chaiiiii, so smh..which kind desperation be this
You met a guy and same day he planted a kiss on your lips, a month later he's already proposing and you started having unprotected sex with him??

Abeg, this your story no just follow...

NOT every guy wants babies immediately after marriage.
I for one 've told my wife I wouldn't want babies immediately after marriage. I would 've bin o.k. wit a yr but had t settle f less..n am taking measures as well.
Some people want t settle in b4 d added responsibilities.
..n I don't know where it is written that the primary aim of sex is procreation? ??
Maybe t u, but sex is for bonding t me n babies d result of such loving bonding.

Read d story without sentiments n realise f urself d b.s.
she just did a p.t cos she was expecting her period n feeling somehow? ? Abegii!
I can bet she was waiting anxiously with test kit in hand f the period not t show so she can check.

pickabeau1:

Both sides have some share of the blame

okay

Godmystrength: okay

thats my opinion though.. what do you think

pickabeau1:

thats my opinion though.. what do you think

truly both sides share the blame but not equally IMO. I blame the women more (except those that were raped etc)

Godmystrength: truly both sides share the blame but not equally IMO. I blame the women more (except those that were raped etc)

Fair enough...

As an aside though im curious as to why u assign more blame to the woman