I hate you some times but you made me laugh so many many times that I forgets the pain you cost me at times with your expensive jokes.
For many years you've tried to improve yourself, physically and spiritually, from career in acting to stand ups to late night shows; you did it all.

What a fulfilled life...Like you lived your life making expensive jokes about people I hope you look better in death than you looked when alive, with all your surgeries men you ugly.

We love you and you will be missed.

“We all mourn in our own way. I mourn with a great steak- Joan Rivers

“I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I’d look like without plastic surgery.”- Joan Rivers




_{JOAN RIVER'S Fans please write famous quotes you can remember.}


1. “Thank God we’re living in a country where the sky’s the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.”

2. “I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer’s. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.”

3. “At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.”

4. “When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.”

5. “I hate housework. You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later, you have to start all over again.”

6.“There are many self-help books by Ph.D.s, but I hold a different degree: an I.B.T.I.A.—I’ve Been Through It All. This degree comes not on parchment but gauze, and it entitles me to tell you that there is a way to get through any misfortune.”

7. You know you’re getting old when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.”

8. Had a friend who is going through menopause come by for lunch today. Her hot flash was so bad, it steam-cleaned my carpet

9. That comes with age:knowing its their problem not mine

10. I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking

11. “The fun of working on the road means stealing from hotels. I’ve been doing it for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark.”

12. “I don’t exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.”

13. People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made



And below my personal favorite

I have learned how to appreciate land mark moments like the Emmy I won in 1990, ONE OF THE BEST MOMENTS OF MY CAREER, unfortunately when I went to pawn it. it turned out not to be gold.


Please guys add more Joan's jokes or quotes.

May she rest well...

just incase.




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you know where am talking about

hu is dis joan rivers sef? is he d acmed?

[quote author=Engen][/quote]



don't you think you need to learn how to quote?


my comment alone is a tribute..
dnt raise dust when there's no fire.

Please who is Joan Rivers? No one seems to know her in the US of A here.

very hilarious lady, never knew she was that old until I saw her pictures before her surgeries.

Tho I never liked your show,but I still miss you R.I.P .

Guykhena:
Tho I never liked your show,but I still miss you R.I.P .

Do you know what I hated her shows but her jokes are killers...

check this out!!

Look at Gwyneth Paltrow being named the most beautiful this year. She got Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder to vote.

I've learned from doing my own show with Fox that people are not your partners if they're signing the checks. Whoever signs your paycheck is the boss -- no matter what they tell you. They tell you that Rupert Murdoch and Barry Diller own 50 percent, and I own 50 percent. Well, forget it -- you get zero if they decide you get zero

→ I've learned from my dealings with Johnny Carson that no matter what kind of friendship you think you have with people you're working with, when the chips are down, it's all about business. He loved me, loved me, loved me, and I left his show very honorably to do my own show. Then the minute I was competition for him, he cut me off at the knees. He said I never called him, and it followed me for 10 years. I would go on a set, and people would say, "We heard you were terrible to work with." It was NBC who did that to me. I've never done Jay Leno, but I'm sort of glad about that. He wouldn't know what to do with someone funny.

→ I've learned: When you get older, who cares? I don't mince words, I don't hold back. What are you gonna do to me? Fire me? It's been done. Threaten to commit suicide? Done. Take away my show? Done! Not invite to me to the Vanity Fair party? I've never been invited! If I ever saw the invitation, I'd use it as toilet paper. My gardener Jose is invited -- he asks me to bring him his sombrero to clean it for him.

→ I've learned you don't always listen to your agents and managers. Sometimes they know nothing. ABC once offered me a daytime talk show a long time ago. My agent and manager said, "Joan, you're a nighttime personality." So I turned it down. Then ABC went to Chicago and found this girl with blue eye shadow named Oprah Winfrey. Now she's got $500 million, and I'm part of the crew. I do the catering for Obama.

→ I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done. I got a lot of flack for a joke I made about Heidi Klum and the Nazis ["The last time a German looked this hot was when they were pushing Jews into the ovens"], but I never apologized for it. I said Justin Bieber looked like a little lesbian -- and I stand by it: He's the daughter Cher wishes she'd had. You can tune me out, you can click me off, it's OK. I am not going to bow to political correctness. But you do have to learn, if you want to be a satirist, you can't be part of the party. Meaning, you can't go horseback riding with Jackie O in Central Park if you're going to make a joke about her that night.

→ I've learned only to make jokes about public figures. I went pretty far with Elizabeth Taylor, and I told my very good friend Roddy McDowall, who was her best friend: "But I only make jokes about people who make $40 million a year!" Then again, Cher got upset when I took her out of the act!

→ I've learned not to have regrets about plastic surgery. I have made America prettier! People should be thanking me! The plastic surgery assocation should be giving me freebies!

→ I've learned not to take those "World's Most Beautiful" or "Sexiest Alive" titles too seriously. People can be named the best anything depending on who's voting. Sometimes it's three people. Look at Gwyneth Paltrow being named the most beautiful this year. She got Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder to vote. The people voting for the Oscars are so old: I always say, I haven't seen one Academy Award voter with a tampon in her purse.

→ I've learned not to slow down. I'm so lucky to have my life. In a previous life, I must have been the Jewish Mother Teresa: Mama Selma. I didn't cure lepers, but it's not so bad to lose a finger. It's not so terrible if you have another finger to put the ring on.

Not a fan cos I hardly knew her and I never watch fashion police show.

@OP you re pasting tributes u just copied. Be honest, u hav never watched any show she did other than the one she was on b4 her death. At d peak of her career, u wia nt born yet.

From Time magazine on the subject of her body, for example:

Joan Rivers claims that she is now only a thin blonde disaster area, where once she was a fat blonde disaster area. In high school, she says, “I got to be chairman of the decorating committee for the prom. We decided to hold it at the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel, in the Grand Ballroom. I made it look just like a gymnasium. Then what happens? I was the only girl not asked to the prom. My father is a very sensitive, perceptive person, so he said, ‘Look, Lump, we’ll get your cousin to take you.’ My cousin! Think of the humiliation! And my cousin, she didn’t want to take me either.”


Take wigs. The ordinary woman puts a wig on her head and that’s that. Joan’s wig gets run over by a car—and then the driver gives her $10 and his sympathy for having killed her dog.
But even when she was at her most caustic, her idea that nothing was sacrosanct didn’t mean she didn’t care. In 1983, when TIME called her “the funniest woman in the country,” she explained that the best comedy is “always on the brink of disaster,” walking the line between boring and going too far. The article began with the following anecdote:

“If I say anything vicious, just add afterward the words: ‘She laughed.'” So, to grant the lady her request and, at the same time, to avoid repeating those two words several dozen times, please regard most of the punctuation marks that follow as shorthand symbols for “Joan Rivers laughed.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpK9X4Zzvjg