to folks that enjoy 24. place ur jack bauer jokes here.
i'll start.

*if jack bauer were a spartan, the movie would be called 1*

If O.J. ever met Jack Bauer, he'd confess

is dis thread 4 easy access 2 slip

*Professor Charles Xavier from X-Men once tried to read Jack Bauer's mind. Now he's sitting in a wheel chair*
u probably wont find the jokes funny if u dont watch 24

yawns

djfik no mind them i dey fill you. na jjack thot beat prof. xavier break in leg, oj go ever confess cos of the tuture, jack na one man squad na so im go be 1 not 300 if im na spartan ;d

Now, these are Jack Bauer jokes.

- In one episode there was an assasin who had the ability to throw Jack Bauer to the ground and break his rib. I hate how unrealistic 24 is sometimes.

- They should change CTU to CBU : Counting on Bauer Unit

- Superman wears Jack Bauer pijamas

-Jack Bauer onece called the Vice President "Mr. President", but realized his mistake and shot the President. Jack bauer is never wrong!

- When E.T. phoned home, Jack Bauer answered

- When Jack Bauer drives the wrong way on a street, it becomes the right way.

- Jack Bauer once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The islands.

- When Jack Bauer looks in the mirror, he doesen't see his reflection. Because there can only be one Jack Bauer.

- If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

- Shakira's hips don't lie because Jack Bauer interrogates them continuosly.

- The only reason Audrey Reins sold schematics to the terrorist was so Jack could push her up against a wall like he does in her fantasies.

- James Bond has a license to kill. Jack Bauer was his instructor.

- Jack Bauer won the Indy 500 in a Ford Explorer.

- If you spell Jack Bauer in a Scrabble game, you win. Forever.

- Jack Bauer has been to Mars. Thats why theres no life on Mars.

- There isn't anything Jack Bauer can't take down with only a handgun, including helicopters.

- Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.

- Jack Bauer can divede by zero.

- G.I. Joe has Jack Bauer action figures.

- Jack Bauer knows where Carmen San Diego is.

- Yoda was once tall and strong. Until Jack Bauer interrogated him.

- Jack Bauer plays dodgeball with a bowling ball.

- Clark kent called himself Superman, Only because the name Jack Bauer was already taken.

- Jack Bauer does not need to use a silencer. He just tells his gun to be quiet.

- When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.

- Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.

- Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.

- Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

- Jack Bauer told Chloe that she was the best computer technician in the world. He then told her something she didn't know about computers.

- Jack Bauer killed Kenny.

- Jack Bauer is allowed to leave his phone on during a movie.

-The city of LA once named a street after jack bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses jack bauer and lives

- GTA doesn’t have a 7 wanted level, you don’t want jack bauer after you, even in a video game


- Jack bauer doesn’t have a cigarette after sex. He has sex again

- Jack bauer doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants

- Jack bauer once won a game of rock paper scissors using neither rock paper nor scissors

- Jack bauer doesn’t make mistakes. He makes more chances to kill

- When you open a can of whoop-ass, jack bauer jumps out

- Jack bauer puts the rage in courage

- Scissors are scared to run with jack bauer

- Mission impossible is just another way of saying mission with out jack bauer

- When jack takes his knife out, the terror alert level automatically drops to green

- Jack bauer doesn’t need to carry an umberella, he can dodge rain

- When life gave jack bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack fucking hates lemonade

- Sticks and stones may brake your bones but jack bauer will always kill you

- Jack bauer saved the day twice. In one day

- And on the 6th day, Jack Bauer said to God, I'll take it from here,

- Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death among middle aged Middle Eastern men.

- If Jack Bauer shoots you and misses, he didn't miss. He was aiming at the terrorist ten miles away.

- If everybody in CTU did exactly what Jack Bauer said, the program would be called 12!

- and God said let there be light, jack bauer said say please

- jack bauer has 1.2 billion chinese, all of the middle east, and most of russia angry at him, sounds like a fair fight

- jack bauer doesnt get captured, he lets the terrorists take him so his next few kills are more dramatic

- Jack Bauer's phone has ALWAYS fully charged battery and limitless geographic coverage , both the battery and the mobile company are afraid to let him out of service.

- before going to bed each night, God prays to Jack bauer

- Superman´s only weakness is kyptonite , Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness

- Jack Bauer quit for just five minutes, and a nuclear bomb went off.

- There are three leading causes of death among terrorists. The first two are Jack Bauer, and the third one is heart attack from hearing Jack Bauer is coming for them.

- When a convicted terrorist was sentenced to face Jack Bauer, he appealed to have the sentence reduced to death.

- Jack Bauer never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.

- Finding Nemo would have been vastly more exciting had Jack Bauer been looking for him.

- People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.

- Jack Bauer knows Victoria's secret.

lol

Romade do u watch 24?