Here are some other culprits our experts blame
for the alarmingly high divorce rate.
1.
Getting in for the wrong reasons.
Marrying for money — we’ve all heard that that is
a ticket to a quick divorce, but what about when
you marry because it’s what you think you should
do?
I’ve met many divorced women who say the
problems that made them leave were there right
from the beginning but “everyone expected us to
live happily ever after” or “we had already spent
so much money on the wedding” or “we had just
built our dream home.” So, remember, until you
say “I do,” you always have the choice to say “I
don’t!”
2. Lack of individual identity.
A codependent relationship is not healthy. When
you don’t have your own interests or the
opportunity to express yourself outside of
coupledom, you become “couple dumb.”
If you are not comfortable doing things without
your partner, or you don’t know what kind of
music, movies, or food you used to like, you are
likely in deep and you probably feel like you are
drowning and don’t know why.
3. Becoming lost in the roles.
Just as many couples “forget” their single friends
and single ways when they get married, when you
add children into the mix, most parents soon
neglect or completely forget that they are a
couple.
As children grow and need less attention, many
husbands and wives find that they have grown
apart and they can’t remember why they ever got
married in the first place because they no longer
have anything in common.
4. Not having a shared vision of success.
“Everything changed when we got married!” He
drives you crazy because you’re a saver and he’s a
spender. Your idea of a weekend getaway is a
cozy cottage in the woods; your partner wants to
the hit the town and catch a game. He thinks it’s
your job to cook and clean, but you disagree.
Why didn’t he mention these things before?
Maybe you should have asked. Chances are that
he hasn’t changed — your expectations did. Is it
possible to survive major differences in
philosophy? It is possible, but many do not.
5. The intimacy dissapears.
Somewhere in a marriage there is a subtle
change in the intimacy department. One person
has an off day, there is a misunderstanding or
someone doesn’t feel well. Then there’s the idea
that he isn’t as romantic or she isn’t as s*xual.
Whoever is the one with the subtle change can
trigger a downward spiral in the intimacy
department. Men generally need s*xual
receptivity to feel romantic and women generally
need romance to be s*xual receptive. As long as
both people are getting what they need, they
willingly provide what the other person wants.
However, when there is a lessening on either’s
part, that can trigger a pulling back in the other.
If gone unnoticed and unchecked, before the
couple realizes, they are seriously intimately
estranged and wonder what happened. This can
lead to divorce as couples begin to feel unloved
and unappreciated.
6. Unmet expectations.
Somewhere written into a human’s genetic code
lie the instruction that when a person isn’t happy,
he or she is supposed to force his/her significant
to make the changes required to make the
unhappy person happy again. This usually takes
the form of complaining, blaming, criticizing,
nagging, threatening, punishing and/or bribing.
When one or both people in the marriage are
attempting to coerce each other into doing things
they don’t want to do for their partner’s
happiness, it is a recipe for disaster. When you
are unhappy in a relationship, it’s okay to ask for
the change you want. But, if your partner doesn’t
oblige you, then you become responsible for
your own happiness.
7. Finances.
It’s not usually the lack of finances that causes the
divorce, but the lack of compatibility in the
financial arena.
Opposites can attract but when two people are
opposites in the financial department, divorce
often ensues. Imagine the conflict if one is a
saver and one is a spender. One is focused on the
future while the other believes in living for
today. One has no problem buying on credit,
while the other believes in saving up for what
one wants.
Over time, this conflict can reach such heights
that divorce seems to be the only logical
conclusion.
8. Being out of touch … literally.
I’m talking about physical contact. Of course, s*x
is great, but you also need to supplement it with
little hello and goodbye kisses, impromptu hugs
and simply holding hands. Couples who don’t
maintain an intimate connection through both
s*xual and non-s*xual actions are destined to
become virtual strangers.
9. Different priorities and interests.
Having shared interests and exploring them
together is essential for a successful marriage. Of
course, having “me time” is important as well, but
unless you can find common passions and look
for ways to experience them together, you’ll
imevitably grow farther and farther apart.
10. Inability to resolve conflicts.
Every couple has disagreements. The key is to
develop ground rules so that each partner feels
respected and heard. Sometimes it takes a third
party “referee” to help define those rules and
teach us to move through the charged emotions
so resentments don’t linger.
Source: www.yourtango.com

11. Because it was destined to be so!

no comment

I dont believe in divorce, the more reason courtship before marriage is important. To that effect, I have nothing to contribute on this thread