Dear Child,

The need to write you again is a product of my additional experience in a bid to do you proud as a father. Remember, in my second letter to you last year, I made it clear that like every other man, I was born ordinary but unlike most, I am of the conviction that dying a nobody is one risk I am not ready to take, because I never wished for a second life since your grandfather made me realize I can live this right. In addition, this moment is a significant moment of my life where care need be taken on any action I take. The reality of life as I have come to realize is that I alone cannot face the consequence of my action because the nature of life’s liability is both vicarious and strict. I really do not want you to pay for that which you did not even bargain for.

Child, this message is to allow you an insight into some of my principles in life, the basis for making some of my decisions and my philosophy in dealing with people. Obviously, I am in the know that you would concur with some of my ideologies, why the liberty to make a critique of the unconvincing ones and set them aside is one ancestral virtue you would come to inherit. First, you would arrive one day to behold the glowing moon, to appreciate the brightness of the sun, to seek solace from the sinuous flow of the sea, to ponder at the unraveled mysteries of the stars. Listen, those things are no products of man’s work. They tell of the wonders of a Supreme Being, if you must shine like the sun and enjoy the glow of the moon in all you do, honour Him. Life will not be a bed of roses for you and it has never been for any man with purpose, but know this; that you can have a smooth sail on the sea to your goals if you learn the secret in bowing at God’s feet. Child, inure yourself not in the primeval idiosyncrasy that mere going to the Church or Mosque equates devoutness. The fear of God lies inside of you, what you are on the outside is a reflection of your inner self. Speaking English makes no man a Briton.

Look, in my generation, there are a lot of potential fathers but no “Macbethan” line of Shakespeare is needed to say that most of us make a good example of what a father should not be. We are not facing the challenges of being “the man,” rather we wake everyday chasing shapes and figures. Our ladies too are not helping; a broad chest is preferred to maturity in choice making, a cute look has substituted the cherished quality of being a gentleman, a pronounced abs to them is a better replacement for a good strength of character while pretence attracts them above one’s real picture. The beautiful ones are born, just that they are engrossed in the ugly chase. Child, time has a way of making us old. The habit of great men is to do today what others plan on doing tomorrow, so act and act right. Enjoy your childhood and I promise not to deprive you the dividend of good parenting. Play in the rain; you need it, play hide and seek; you will miss it, attempt counting the stars; it is fun, mix with mates in school. They may be different in status, gender, class, belief and orientation. Even fingers are not equal but each serves a purpose. You can grow in life on your own but you need people to grow right and rule the world you intend on building.

Child, age is telling on me gradually. In 25 years to come, my golden jubilee will be knocking at the door. I want to look back and be glad it has indeed been golden. Perhaps, I should share a philosophy with you about business. The first trade you should learn has to do with the people you meet and the ones you keep. Make all your relationships an enterprise, for every person you meet, ensure there is a quality you desire in him, then keep him but ensure you give something in return. It is not wrong to meet people who are of no use to your dream in life, but keeping them is a bad idea.

Child, telling you life is a chase is a cliché because your ability to arrive here and be my heir is premised on your success in that mysterious race. If need be, you would trample others to win the contest but reaching the finish line is not the end of the pursuit, it is only a means to the end. If you come as a boy, know that you do not have to fight to be a man but if you arrive as a feminine, you cannot turn your ears against the unconvincing say that ladies are limited by the virtue of their gender. In that case, daughter, please that saying is meant to create the impossibility that does not exist. Child, it is trite to inform you that the extreme display of a virtue exposes one to risk, so know when humility will become foolishness and be aware that when wisdom flows in excess, you are bound to lose people’s trust.

Child, it is right to work hard to achieve a feat but never beg for it, because the dignity in begging is dead and long buried. You are coming here to be a person of purpose to be reckoned with, humility is a key factor if you want to know your true friends but if anyone makes you feel you are on his neck, please bid him a farewell, you are not a weed, do not grow in an unwanted place. To my daughter, if you notice the man after your heart is trying to show he is the man, know that he is far from being real. An ant never mounts a podium to announce its existence, yet it can sting the mighty lion to race.

Child, it is the dream of every parent to have a child who will build on their legacies, but I hold that it is more honourable for you to be known as you. Remember if the sun had opted to be another moon, its glowing beauty would not even exist in our imagination. Child, steer away from envy and learn the beauty that lies in a dignified silence. Anywhere you go, know that it is better to be quiet and be thought as wise than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubts. Apologize for your wrongdoings and mistakes, yield to correction and appreciate people who calls you to order but it is a sheer waste of investment to spend time begging where no wrong exists. Cynics abound in our world, be patient to identify them but be fast to sneer at them.

Child, never subscribe to the side-talker’s idea. If you are wronged by a friend, it is unwise to report to another friend first. Inform the friend first that he erred, give him a chance to make his defence or apology, if things still does not work, then a friend can mediate. Relationship is not an employment; do not beg to stay in any. If you find yourself in a relationship where understanding is lacking, it is honourable to vacate and gently shut the door behind you. If you want the best of friends, stroll through the hard time boulevard, very few of them patronize there. I tell you, the friends gotten there can last a life time. If you intend to build a life-time relationship with someone, do not allow the things of the past, new people you meet or common differences come between you. If they do, they are for a moment and when they are gone, the regret has the habit of lasting a life time.

Child, anytime you think of how much or how little of my properties you would be entitled to when I am gone, it is a sign that you are still not prepared, poor in thought and not yet the man I want you to be. You need to sit up and live right. I desire that you would go beyond struggling for whatever is left of my estate when I join my ancestors. My daughter, make no friend with a man who has no respect for his mother. If he cannot respect his source, you will be worthless in his sight. My son, you know how I plan on treating your potential mother, she may not be the best in the world but she would be my best. So, be a reflection of our home.

I really have more than enough to tell you but I need to go now, writing you is not an excuse for not doing my assignment. No son will be proud of a father who doesn’t do his assignment. I want you to wish me the best life has to offer in my field and in any area I venture into. I hope to write you next year and I promise you not to be indebted at your detriment.

Hidentity is an African

The Creator has ordained you his orator. Keep listening to his immortal words and remain an influential interpreter. More grease to your elbow.