I have top-notch anger management, but it goes explosive, when i am trying to run away from the source only to get stuck in it, i feel vulnerable most expecially when d source deals with misunderstanding.....

Just ended an anger session with my dad and i hate this feeling, i decided to consecrate my self and up my game in the ministry of reconciliation in my church, but he have a problem with it, i grew up under him in a catholic church, somewhere along the line i just new i wasn't saved nor was i tot anytin relevant, i knew i wasn't growing, but my new church trains me more and i love it there....

Bottom line is that he wants me to continue in the catholic church which i don't want cos i won't grow in the faith, but pending the fact i am still under him, i just have to obey....

The fact is if i take to his order, i wud just be the devil NEW errand boy cos dats what i was b4 i join this current church, my father tot i was a saint when i was still in the catholic church...

Lost in my thoughts, In a dilemma presently...

You need to clearly identify what made you angry... I am not sure discussing with your dad on church issues should have set you on the edge...

We will never understand the minds of our parents until we become one ourself...

The best advice..........take it easy

I am not a member of Catholic church but I can't give you a reasonable advice until you reveal why and how worshiping in Catholic church makes makes you 'the devil's errand boy'.

well, u'l av to wait til u r independent since they can't see reasons wit u nw..bt dts nt to say i'v got anythn against d church

bodejohn: You need to clearly identify what made you angry... I am not sure discussing with your dad on church issues should have set you on the edge...

We will never understand the minds of our parents until we become one ourself...

what made me angry is dat he is accusing me of dividing his house by goin to anoda church....

immortalcrown: I am not a member of Catholic church but I can't give you a reasonable advice until you reveal why and how worshiping in Catholic church makes makes you 'the devil's errand boy'.

i won't be active and fervent anymore. I am telling u who i am. Worse is dat i am undergrad n he treats me like a sec. Sku guy. A guy for dat matter. Well its my lot.
#cool

I believe we should respect our parents and try to understand thier wishes for your well being, especially when you reside under their roofs. With that being said, I think you should follow your heart and if you feel switching churches will give you some comfort and fulfillment spiritual then do that, If he truly loves you, he should respect you decision...especially when it's something about religion and preference.

just my two cent!

justmag: I believe we should respect our parents and try to understand thier wishes for your well being, especially when you reside under their roofs. With that being said, I think you should follow your heart and if you feel switching churches will give you some comfort and fulfillment spiritual then do that, If he truly loves you, he should respect you decision...especially when it's something about religion and preference.

just my two cent!

i love and respect dem alot, he knows i dont disobey him atleast i am doing 99% of d tins he wants, but just this one he won't let me be.... They should not be surprise at d outcome.

OnyeEgo1:

i won't be active and fervent anymore. I am telling u who i am. Worse is dat i am undergrad n he treats me like a sec. Sku guy. A guy for dat matter. Well its my lot.
#cool

Please, be sincere. Is it that he assigns you to 'genuine but difficult duties' OR forces you into sin?

I am begining to understand it doesn't pay to be good, i mean pure and total abstinence 4rm negative live style..... It looks as though it pays to be weird, nerd.

immortalcrown: Please, be sincere. Is it that he assigns you to 'genuine but difficult duties' OR forces you into sin?

difficult duties? I av no issue with that, i am easy to handle. He insist i continue and probably die in the catholic church, and can't work for me. I prefer make i no dey go church again which is my former habit.

OnyeEgo1:

i love and respect dem alot, he knows i dont disobey him atleast i am doing 99% of d tins he wants, but just this one he won't let me be.... They should not be surprise at d outcome.

Hmmm. ..sounds dangerous. I also have to respect that not all patents are the same. I guess he strongly believes that u have to obey him because u live under his roof. Someday u will leave the crib and your story will change. Keep ya head up!

Honour thy father and mother so thy days shall be long. If your new church has positively changed you, you won't be typing these stuffs here. There are many societies in the Cath church that can help mould you positively. Join one and never relent in your prayers. Make your parents proud and don't be a thorn in their flesh. Later when you have gained your freedom, you can then join any church.

Like you said,you are still under him so you just have to abide by his words.......To him,you want to become a wanderer and a divider to the family which I believe is not your intention.........You are angry because you think he is misunderstanding you and he isn't giving you permission to do your wish..
For now,obey him..What makes you think this your 'high-point salvation arena' won't start getting boring to you as time goes on? It's a youthful desire to explore but be patient and obey.

If u know that you now genuinely have a relationship with Christ(nw saved), then ask Him to help u sort d issues out, to give u wisdom to handle d situation in a godly way. Ur new found Life is nt dt of force or violence or disrespect to parents. But yet God understands d entire situation and can solve it easily. So use ds to develop ur faith, trust and reliance in Him.

OnyeEgo1:
i love and respect dem alot, he knows i dont disobey him atleast i am doing 99% of d tins he wants, but just this one he won't let me be.... They should not be surprise at d outcome.

i know the importance of fellowship with the brethren cant be over rated, are you saying if you are posted to serve in a place that has only catholic church you will go back to your former ways? I want to believe you school away from home and can freely worship anywhere at school. For the short period you are @ home, stay at home and pray, study, listen to messages and songs from your church or of choice. Most parents will beg their children who stays at home cos they dont like their parent's church to go to any church provided they stop staying @ home, now will you not avail much with tremendous power if you fervently and effectually pray to him who turns even the heart of kings. Remember anger rest in the bossom of fools and as dead fly give perfume...so doth a little folly outweighs wisdom and honour.

Most of the comments here are just not it for me. I can clearly understand u OP. I can boldly say 80% Nigerian Parents have no idea of Parenting for Teenagers/Adult Children. They are not ready to listen to u,neither understand what u saying. This has caused alot of breakdown in communication between Parent and Adult children. If u wondering what I mean by adult children,its from Age 20 Above.
I was once like the OP. My parent dictating what I should which left to keeping to myself and was also getting angry every moment. I saw a book on Parenting Adult Children and bought it for my parents
This came as a turn around for them. Parents shouldn't impose their will on teenager,talk more adult children. It should be rubbing mind together between them. Imposing ur will will make d child even disobey u the more. Let's learn to get things right and educate our parents. Most of them want to handle their children the way they were handled in their days.
I will end this epistle with this question, How will an Analog Parent raise a Digital Child?

Was in your shoes sometime ago. i got admission into school n i immediately changed to the church i preferred, i hardly ever went home cos school was far but when i did, i'd follow them to church to fulfil all righteousness. Not a good way to live, i tell ya.
this reminds me so much of 'Papa' in Purple Hibiscus.

olu4life: Most of the comments here are just not it for me. I can clearly understand u OP. I can boldly say 80% Nigerian Parents have no idea of Parenting for Teenagers/Adult Children. They are not ready to listen to u,neither understand what u saying. This has caused alot of breakdown in communication between Parent and Adult children. If u wondering what I mean by adult children,its from Age 20 Above.
I was once like the OP. My parent dictating what I should which left to keeping to myself and was also getting angry every moment. I saw a book on Parenting Adult Children and bought it for my parents
This came as a turn around for them. Parents shouldn't impose their will on teenager,talk more adult children. It should be rubbing mind together between them. Imposing ur will will make d child even disobey u the more. Let's learn to get things right and educate our parents. Most of them want to handle their children the way they were handled in their days.
I will end this epistle with this question, How will an Analog Parent raise a Digital Child?

this is what i was looking for all dis while, God bless u sir....

kendraloops: Was in your shoes sometime ago. i got admission into school n i immediately changed to the church i preferred, i hardly ever went home cos school was far but when i did, i'd follow them to church to fulfil all righteousness. Not a good way to live, i tell ya.
this reminds me so much of 'Papa' in Purple Hibiscus.

i learnt alot from that book walahi, d man is a good man with good intent for his children but doing it wrongly and forcefully...

The papa Jaja character in that story depicts my dad almost exactly.

OnyeEgo1:

this is what i was looking for all dis while, God bless u sir....

Uwc bro. Just sit both of them down and talk to them. This will work. U can also use your mom to influence ur dad

OnyeEgo1: I have top-notch anger management, but it goes explosive, when i am trying to run away from the source only to get stuck in it, i feel vulnerable most expecially when d source deals with misunderstanding.....

Just ended an anger session with my dad and i hate this feeling, i decided to consecrate my self and up my game in the ministry of reconciliation in my church, but he have a problem with it, i grew up under him in a catholic church, somewhere along the line i just new i wasn't saved nor was i tot anytin relevant, i knew i wasn't growing, but my new church trains me more and i love it there....

Bottom line is that he wants me to continue in the catholic church which i don't want cos i won't grow in the faith, but pending the fact i am still under him, i just have to obey....

The fact is if i take to his order, i wud just be the devil NEW errand boy cos dats what i was b4 i join this current church, my father tot i was a saint when i was still in the catholic church...

Lost in my thoughts, In a dilemma presently...

Op, from what you wrote here, I'd say you should stop deceiving yourself. So, following your father to church will turn you to a devil's errand boy? He feeds you, clothes you, houses you and you're here talking trash. Abeg, shift. I can tell you what he is seeing sitting down, you can't see even if you climb an iroko tree.

OnyeEgo1:

i love and respect dem alot, he knows i dont disobey him atleast i am doing 99% of d tins he wants, but just this one he won't let me be.... They should not be surprise at d outcome.

as long as you're still under his roof,you should obey him. When you get your own apartment and be a man of your own,if you decide to even change your religion,that's your problem.
Besides,what's wrong with being a Catholic anyway? Children of nowadays sef....

berem:
as long as you're still under his roof,you should obey him. When you get your own apartment and be a man of your own,if you decide to even change your religion,that's your problem.
Besides,what's wrong with being a Catholic anyway? Children of nowadays sef....

asin?.... Am i dat small dat u av to ridicule me... For the record i am an undergrad..... I am in my 20s...God!
U jst insulted me!

olu4life:

Uwc bro. Just sit both of them down and talk to them. This will work. U can also use your mom to influence ur dad

thanks for ur concern bro, buh d issue now is dat i av given up long tym ago. #IfeelUseless#

Dis boy rest nw n face ur skool,,under G..evrytin is a matta of time,,u hear

OnyeEgo1:


asin?.... Am i dat small dat u av to ridicule me... For the record i am an undergrad..... I am in my 20s...God!
U jst insulted me!

I didn't insult you,I just told you the truth. You're an undergrad in your 20's so what? I have a kid brother who's an undergrad and I am a decade older than him. I will talk to you the way I talk to him.

berem:
I didn't insult you,I just told you the truth. You're an undergrad in your 20's so what? I have a kid brother who's an undergrad and I am a decade older than him. I will talk to you the way I talk to him.

wow, i am now a sort of kid brother, u know what?, u want me to exchange banters with u?, u want me to go gaga n start cursing ryt?

No way its not going to apun. Since i am not dat way offline, i don't tink i shud b online.
For God's sake u don't knw me or d psychological state i am in currently now.
I used to respect u, but u disappoint me wit ur attitude, u've lost my respect.

Dear berem, i don't get adrenaline rush easily, buh i beg u desist from quoting me hence, once again i beg u. #KIDbroSMH

berem:
I didn't insult you,I just told you the truth. You're an undergrad in your 20's so what? I have a kid brother who's an undergrad and I am a decade older than him. I will talk to you the way I talk to him.

No mind am. Small pikin who dey find who go join am fight im papa

@onyeEgo1
Am an undergrad, am an undergrad...and so? You now feel nobody can talk to you abi? Smh.
Someone said your dad is analog and u r digital and you agreed.
Mumu.


Anyways. If you like this your new age church so much and you are an undergrad, which I guess means you are staying in hostel, what stops you from going to catholic on Sundays and your new age fellowship on Wednesdays and Fridays? That's what I did...until I realised all these fellowships are wash and quietly went back to my Catholic church but that's another story.

Guy, nobody can make you the devil's errand boy except you. If you like join deeper life if you want to become bad deeper life won't stop you. Being Christlike is a voluntary choice and not an impulse.

Try and sift my harsh words away if you can. Na the digital and anaolog thingie na hin piss me off.

OnyeEgo1:


wow, i am now a sort of kid brother, u know what?, u want me to exchange banters with u?, u want me to go gaga n start cursing ryt?

No way its not going to apun. Since i am not dat way offline, i don't tink i shud b online.
For God's sake u don't knw me or d psychological state i am in currently now.
I used to respect u, but u disappoint me wit ur attitude, u've lost my respect.

Dear berem, i don't get adrenaline rush easily, buh i beg u desist from quoting me hence, once again i beg u. #KIDbroSMH

I don't need your respect. Reserve it for your Dad who needs it more. You're still under your father's roof and he still feeds you and pay your school fees. Respect him and your days will be long.

5minsmadness:

No mind am. Small pikin who dey find who go join am fight im papa

Am an undergrad, am an undergrad...and so? You now feel nobody can talk to you abi? Smh.
Someone said your dad is analog and u r digital and you agreed.
Mumu.


Anyways. If you like this your new age church so much and you are an undergrad, which I guess means you are staying in hostel, what stops you from going to catholic on Sundays and your new age fellowship on Wednesdays and Fridays? That's what I did...until I realised all these fellowships are wash and quietly went back to my Catholic church but that's another story.

Guy, nobody can make you the devil's errand boy except you. If you like join deeper life if you want to become bad deeper life won't stop you. Being Christlike is a voluntary choice and not an impulse.

Try and sift my harsh words away if you can. Na the digital and anaolog thingie na hin piss me off.

no mind the boy. I have his mate who I am very much older than. Na one better slap I go land for him face,im head go correct by force. Na nairaland make am be like say everybody na mate.

Kids of these days think they are wiser than their parents. Mtscheeew!