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How To Keep Your Cool When Someone Attacks You On Nland. - Nairaland / General - Nairaland

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How To Keep Your Cool When Someone Attacks You On Nland. by Tallesty1(m): 8:43pm On Oct 05, 2014
Sometimes I see people attacking each other on Nland I'd wonder why on earth would some spend good time online firing shots at a person you don't even know?

When a negative comment pops up or an attacker fires at you on Nland.

There is always an instantaneous urge to fire back but the right thing to do is to hold yourself and not sink to the attackers level.

I can remember the first time I was attacked here. I gave my opinion on a question one lady asked and the first mention I got was "YOU ARE FOOL

I wanted to fire back immediately but then I remembered that some people are really going through hard times these days. Yea......They come online full of frustration, anger, and disappointment, etc. As all these pile up, they'd need a place to dump them, so I told myself that I am not and cannot be their dump site. Maybe he would have said more if I had replied.

Here Are Few Things You Should Do To Keep Your Cool When Attacked.

1: Don't react immediately.Take a moment to gather your thoughts before saying or doing anything, no matter how much the comment may have stung. If you know you have a bad temper, or are prone to angry outburst then close the tab immediately and think about what was said.

2: Ask a question rather than making a statement. This is really important. Try and find out why he/she is attacking you Instead of firing back. It could be a result of misconception of your standpoint. Remember not everyone here is an adult.

3: Be gentle. No matter what the response is from that person who's going off on you, you must maintain your cool. In the end, if you are kindly and gentle in your response to that person, s/he is the one who will end up looking bad to others. A lady once fired a shot at me. She said "You are an ediot" I told her that I know cause some already told me. No matter what kind of person you're dealing with, the only thing you need to worry about is what kind of person you are. Remember you have followers that see you as a responsible person.

4: Don’t freak out. Suspend judgment. Don’t take what has been said personally. Resist the urge to react right away
Instead, take a deep breath, scroll up and read the Op and your comment once again. Maybe you made a mistake somewhere and the person(due to lack of manners) is correcting you in a terrible way. If the comment is ok then let it slide. If there is an error then correct it and move on

Sometimes the best thing one can say is to say Nothing at all.

These are the few things that help me.

If you know of any that isn't listed here please add it let's learn.

13 Likes 3 Shares

Re: How To Keep Your Cool When Someone Attacks You On Nland. by MizMyColi(f): 8:49pm On Oct 05, 2014
Irrespective of how much you think a person deserves to be put in his or her place.
No matter how blunt you desire to be when replying a hate comment, still give people grace, whether or not they deserve it.

Above all, before making ANY comment/post - Please [size=14pt]THINK[/size]

Is it;

Thoughtful

Helpful

Inspiring

Necessary

Kind


Happy Holidays smiley

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How To Keep Your Cool When Someone Attacks You On Nland. by MizMyColi(f): 8:50pm On Oct 05, 2014
[size=4pt]cc: Temigracie, Tallesty1, Chibwike[/size]

So, I'm here thinking, more like doing a reminiscing of sorts.

On Nairaland, how many times have we casually expressed an opinion (especially concerning an individual) without stopping to think of the damage or good it might do them in the long run?


The events of this night has opened my mind to new perspectives.
I asked Father to help me say and do the right thing.
I was willing to let go of my opinion or thoughts on the matter.

I believe that whatever I'll write henceforth is inspired.

I took a brief time out, while going through the posts on that thread to take stock of Mizmycoli on Nairaland (A faceless community, or so they think)

Have I been more a blessing to people than a pain in the butt?
Have my words torn people down, instead of building them up?
Am I the reason, that future Chinua Achebe or Chimamanda decided to give up on his/her dreams, because of that tad bit insensitive comment that I made?
What legacy am I building on here?
If I leave Nairaland tomorrow, what would I be remembered for?

I may have brought joy and smiles to a lot of people on here, but it hurts me deeply to know that I might have been the reason a young man decides to give up on his dream.

I want to take to take this time out to apologize to Fabiano09.
For the insensitive comment I made.

I want to apologize to everyone out there whom I might have hurt or scarred in one way or another, by my actions or by my in actions.
I'm sorry.

Please forgive me.
Give me grace.

It gets better, for all of us.
#Bless
#Peace
Re: How To Keep Your Cool When Someone Attacks You On Nland. by ayobase: 8:52pm On Oct 05, 2014
lolz

anybody still losing cool and running temperature over any nl matter must still be a learner.

2 Likes

Re: How To Keep Your Cool When Someone Attacks You On Nland. by chibwike(m): 8:54pm On Oct 05, 2014
True talk
Re: How To Keep Your Cool When Someone Attacks You On Nland. by Mention(m): 8:55pm On Oct 05, 2014
I see..
Re: How To Keep Your Cool When Someone Attacks You On Nland. by Chaleeee: 8:56pm On Oct 05, 2014
This is nice. Mods, do the needful.
Re: How To Keep Your Cool When Someone Attacks You On Nland. by Nobody: 8:57pm On Oct 05, 2014
.....Oga oooo....


One Nutri-c guy just dey attack me like say nah im Great-grandfather own NL....


Thats onething I cant do....I dont like accusing pple....I cant attack anyone here on NL.....I believe we reason differently....

Naija people always love destructive criticism.......

1 Like 1 Share

Re: How To Keep Your Cool When Someone Attacks You On Nland. by Tallesty1(m): 8:57pm On Oct 05, 2014
ayobase:
lolz

anybody still losing cool and running temperature over any nl matter must still be a learner.
Abi? Sometimes I'd just regard that attacker as an ediot and ignore it............
Re: How To Keep Your Cool When Someone Attacks You On Nland. by Tannie(f): 8:58pm On Oct 05, 2014
Even though NL is a faceless forum, I interact with people here the same way I do in real life. I've learnt to ignore some comments or reply them in a polite way, the way I'll do in a real life situation. Be it an e-fight or a real life situation, one thing I keep at the back of my min is. "there's always an alternate to violence".
That has always help me in dealing with people here and in real life situations

1 Like 1 Share

Re: How To Keep Your Cool When Someone Attacks You On Nland. by Nobody: 8:58pm On Oct 05, 2014
MizMyColi:
Irrespective of how much you think a person deserves to be put in his or her place.
No matter how blunt you desire to be when replying a hate comment, still give people grace, whether or not they deserve it.

Above all, before making ANY comment/post - Please [size=14pt]THINK[/size]

Is it;

Thoughtful

Helpful

Inspiring

Necessary

Kind


Happy Holidays smiley
#Respect#
I'm trying on putting such into action.
Re: How To Keep Your Cool When Someone Attacks You On Nland. by Nobody: 8:59pm On Oct 05, 2014
Its natural for people to always want to bring out a wrong side of us but our reaction matters a lot , its really funny hating on someone online that you might never get to know or meet .



Nice one op cool

1 Like 1 Share

Re: How To Keep Your Cool When Someone Attacks You On Nland. by MizMyColi(f): 9:00pm On Oct 05, 2014
glitest:

#Respect#
I'm trying on putting such into action.

I noticed. wink
#Bless

1 Like

Re: How To Keep Your Cool When Someone Attacks You On Nland. by Tallesty1(m): 9:04pm On Oct 05, 2014
temigracie:
.....Oga oooo....


One Nutri-c guy just dey attack me like say nah im Great-grandfather own NL....


Thats onething I cant do....I dont like accusing pple....I cant attack anyone here on NL.....I believe we reason differently....

Naija people always love destructive criticism.......
Someone once told me that people that attack you online without any good reason are mostly the ones that are not happy in real life.


I dunno how true
Re: How To Keep Your Cool When Someone Attacks You On Nland. by Nobody: 9:05pm On Oct 05, 2014
MizMyColi:


I noticed. wink
#Bless

Thanks. grin

1 Like

Re: How To Keep Your Cool When Someone Attacks You On Nland. by naijaboiy: 9:06pm On Oct 05, 2014
What do you do to those who are hell-bent on bringing out that other side of you?

Because there are some fools that will ne'er rest till you engage them in a bout undecided

1 Like

Re: How To Keep Your Cool When Someone Attacks You On Nland. by Nobody: 9:09pm On Oct 05, 2014
Tallesty1:
Someone once told me that people that attack you online without any good reason are mostly the ones that are not happy in real life.


I dunno how true

....lol....Maybe....

Thats transfer of aggression....


Apart from that, some love it...Thats their hobby...Just to criticize....without imparting any knowledging so far....


I simply ignore most.......This life is as hard as that..... this is a faceless forum....
Re: How To Keep Your Cool When Someone Attacks You On Nland. by MizMyColi(f): 9:09pm On Oct 05, 2014
Tag:
Fabiano09
Re: How To Keep Your Cool When Someone Attacks You On Nland. by Tallesty1(m): 9:18pm On Oct 05, 2014
naijaboiy:
What do you do to those who are hell-bent on bringing out that other side of you?

Because there are some fools that will ne'er rest till you engage them in a bout undecided
Silence has the power to get people to think. It is so powerful that even fools understand the message it passes across.
Re: How To Keep Your Cool When Someone Attacks You On Nland. by fuckshit: 9:19pm On Oct 05, 2014
FÜCKING nice one grin grin
Re: How To Keep Your Cool When Someone Attacks You On Nland. by okotv(m): 9:23pm On Oct 05, 2014
I have been attacked but I just let it slide, I do a lot of thinking and sometimes my instincts just pick up when its important and it helps in my reply....I remember turning my attacker into a friend with about three replies.
Re: How To Keep Your Cool When Someone Attacks You On Nland. by fabiano09(m): 9:23pm On Oct 05, 2014
MizMyColi:
Tag:
Fabiano09
Thank God u brought me here,i am mostly cordial with alotta pple on nL,hv u forgotten hw u attacked me d first time i ever posted a story here,or hw u ganged up with dose two clowns to derail and discourage my story? You probably must hv forgotten,cuz u do it to alot of pple. To be honest ur a douchebag,u claim to be enlightened and intelligent,bt d first time u ever quoted me,ur disparaging comment and subsequent embarrassment gave u away. I'll tell u hw far ur comments went,it almost made me decide not to post anytin here again,tank God pple convinced me odawise. My advise to u,be nice to pple and encourage dem,xpecially wen it comes to creativity and art,u neva knw just hw far it could spur dem on. Goodnyt.

3 Likes

Re: How To Keep Your Cool When Someone Attacks You On Nland. by Tallesty1(m): 9:26pm On Oct 05, 2014
okotv:
I have been attacked but I just let it slide, I do a lot of thinking and sometimes my instincts just pick up when its important and it helps in my reply....I remember turning my attacker into a friend with about three replies.
Some attackers are attention seekers, all they want is to be noticed.
Re: How To Keep Your Cool When Someone Attacks You On Nland. by MizMyColi(f): 9:28pm On Oct 05, 2014
fabiano09:


Whats his age gotta do with d discussion,ur always off point,and claiming #itooknow. where are ur soldiers to come fight for u nw,naijaboyy and tallest?

^^^ That's why I brought you here.
So you'd know exactly why I don't dignify your hate comments with a matching reply wink
Re: How To Keep Your Cool When Someone Attacks You On Nland. by naijaboiy: 9:34pm On Oct 05, 2014
Tallesty1:
Silence has the power to get people to think. It is so powerful that even fools understand the message it passes across.
Nice,,will work on that...

Because I go soon explode one day angry

1 Like

Re: How To Keep Your Cool When Someone Attacks You On Nland. by Nobody: 9:34pm On Oct 05, 2014
...hehehehehehehe...

MizMyColi and Fabiano09...Part 1.....
Re: How To Keep Your Cool When Someone Attacks You On Nland. by fabiano09(m): 9:37pm On Oct 05, 2014
MizMyColi:


^^^ That's why I brought you here.
So you'd know exactly why I don't dignify your hate comments with a matching reply wink
Whatever,i dont hate you,hate only hurts d pesin who hates,i just wana let u knw dt u dnt hv to b nasty to pple,n feel lyk ur smarter dan evry1,hv u ever wondered hw i would hv reacted if u had corrected me in a nice way?,am nt a saint,am guilty of alot of things,but at least i accept my flaws,hv u bothered to apologise,ofcos no. Life is ephemeral,n wat goes around comez around,i quoted u initially cuz i recognized ur moniker n wat came to mind was wat u sed dt day,i decided to air out my thoughts to u,take it or leave it,am not gona quote u again.

4 Likes

Re: How To Keep Your Cool When Someone Attacks You On Nland. by chibwike(m): 9:42pm On Oct 05, 2014
Tallesty wetin dae happen here
Re: How To Keep Your Cool When Someone Attacks You On Nland. by fabiano09(m): 9:44pm On Oct 05, 2014
temigracie:
.....Oga oooo....


One Nutri-c guy just dey attack me like say nah im Great-grandfather own NL....


Thats onething I cant do....I dont like accusing pple....I cant attack anyone here on NL.....I believe we reason differently....

Naija people always love destructive criticism.......
Exactly,destructive criticism,check my story THE GIRL,she was d first to comment,go look for urself wat she commented n tel me if shes right to b dt insensitive.
Re: How To Keep Your Cool When Someone Attacks You On Nland. by MizMyColi(f): 9:44pm On Oct 05, 2014
temigracie:
...hehehehehehehe...

Miz MyColi and Fabiano 09...Part 1.....

Lolest
Babe, you were there when it all went down na.

Since then the guy has been haunting me o
Especially, if I made a comment on an FP post.

You prolly don't get to see them because I don't reply him nor exchange banters.

Well, Human beings sha.

It gets better.

1 Like

Re: How To Keep Your Cool When Someone Attacks You On Nland. by Krak(m): 9:46pm On Oct 05, 2014
Always think before you comment on Nairaland. If you have nothing meaningful to say, then dont say anything.

I believe that trading insults in any way is a sign of immaturity.

The words you say offline or online will either have a positive or negative effect on the minds of your fellow men. Insulting words kills harmony and breeds discord.

Thats one of the main reasons why I almost never comment on the Politics section. Since most of the people who comment in that section are either politicians or active participants in politics, I look around the country and realise why Nigeria is in such a mess.

If you think your harsh words only brings others down, think again...words have a way of coming back to their owners silently and with more force and potency.

The bottom line is that we should think well before posting and also learn to express our differing views and opinions without insults or harsh words.

Thats my humble advice to everyone.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: How To Keep Your Cool When Someone Attacks You On Nland. by Tallesty1(m): 9:50pm On Oct 05, 2014
fabiano09:

Whatever,i dont hate you,hate only hurts d pesin who hates,i just wana let u knw dt u dnt hv to b nasty to pple,n feel lyk ur smarter dan evry1,hv u ever wondered hw i would hv reacted if u had corrected me in a nice way?,am nt a saint,am guilty of alot of things,but at least i accept my flaws,hv u bothered to apologise,ofcos no. Life is ephemeral,n wat goes around comez around,i quoted u initially cuz i recognized ur moniker n wat came to mind was wat u sed dt day,i decided to air out my thoughts to u,take it or leave it,am not gona quote u again.
Bros m.

When someone attacks you.

Ignore the attack and the attacker.

That's what maturity is about.

You don't have to carry it in your mind all the time.

As for being MyColi's soldier, I think you are wrong.

An innocent person doesn't need the service of body guards.

The MyColi you are talking about here and the one I'm following on nland are two different people.

So I'm lost.

1 Like 1 Share

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